Upon hearing her words, John felt a mixture of disappointement and subtle delight so he asked:
"If you can't find him or he doesn't return, are you really planning to stick to this engagement for the rest of your life? Like you said, the ancient women believed in staying faithful to just one man."
Shen Hui hesitated for a moment before replying:
"I don't know. I will follow my parents' decision but I don't think they would expect me to hold onto this engagement forever."
After saying this, she lowered her head but John pressed on:
"Then what if you fall in love with someone else now?"
Shen Hui smiled and answered:
"That's impossible! I already have a fiance. There's now way I could fall for someone else, and I wouldn't either. I really like my Tao Ge so much."
As she spoke, her cheeks turned red with embarrassment. John found himself captivated by the blush on her face so that he gazed intently at her beautiful face. When she noticed his gaze, Shen Hui felt even more embarrassed and turn her head away. However, in order to break the awkward silence, she turned back to him, her tone teasing as she shifted the focus:
"Don't talk about me at all. What about you? In the West, marriage is just a matter between two people, isn't it? And yet, here you are, a single man who's not exactly young anymore. "
Recovering from his previous loss of composure, he sighed and said:
"Well, I was married once. My ex-wife and I were classmates in the university. I was a player on the baseball team in the university and she was a member of the cheerleading team. I loved her deeply. We spent all our time together. I watched her practic and she watched me train. We went to parties together, shared every moment, and enjoyed our endless intimacy. After graduation, I worked as an intern at a hospital while she started teaching at an elementary school. Actually everything was perfect. We were preparing to get married when the Japan launched the Pacific War. The United States had no choice but to join this global war. The army needed medics so I volunteered as a field doctor. We got married right before I was deployed to North Africa. Later I participated in the Normandy landing and fought across Europe for three years. At first, we exchanged letters each other very often, but after two years, I received her letter that she was pregnant. During that period, I had never went back home even once. I felt both furious and heartbroken. Not long after a divorce letter was mailed to me. I left the military and came to China as soon as the war ended. I didn't expect to stay here for so long."
Shen Hui asked gently:
"So... didn't you meet anyone you liked here in China?"
"When I had just came here, there was a Chinese girl who worked as my maid. She helped me with daily chores but I was emotionally numb back at that time so I wasn't ready to get involved. Besides, like you, her parents had arranged a marriage for her. She planned to marry me to escape the arranged marriage. Not long after I refused her, she got married. So, nothing came of it."
Their conversation seemed ordinary like many they'd had before, yet there was something subtly different about it. For example, from that day on, when John changed her bandages, his fingers would accidentally brush against her shoulder. When he helped her with her arm excercises, he liked to hold her hand for a little longer than necessary and Shen Hui didn't seem to mind his touch either. She started also sneaking glances at him, intentionally or unintentionally, or blushing for no apparent reason. They still cooked, chatted and spent time together as usual but now something unspoken stirred between them.
Time flew by. Shen Hui's wound had healed enough for the stitches to be removed. Her arm had regained much of its mobility. To celebrate this, John decided to dedicate an entire day for her. According to his plan, in the morning they went boating on Beihai Lake, followed by lunch with Peking duck. In the afternoon, they watched a movie and later took a short rest at home. In the evening, he invited her to have a dinner at a Western restaurant. It was her first time eating Western cuisine and drinking red wine. After dinner, they went to a nightclub, the place where Shen Hui had never imagined herself entering. Watching the performance on the stage, listening to the sultry music of the female singer and the dreamy, intoxicating ambiance, she felt as if she were in another world. At this time, John extended his hand to her and said:
"Come on, let's dance."
She replied quickly:
"But I don't know how to dance."
John gave her a warm smile and said:
"It's okay, come on."
She was led by John onto the dance floor. As they stepped in, the lights in the hall suddenly dimmed. Shen Hui felt a flicker of fear but heard John's comforting voice:
"Relax. Just stand on my feet."
She protested:
"No, it will hurt you."
He said:
"Don't worry. Trust me."
She hesitated, then carefully stepped onto his feet, trying to shift her weight to her heels to avoid putting too much pressure on him. Suddenly, she felt herself being lifted and drawn tightly into his embrace. Startled, she looked up and met his gaze intently at her. Holding her closer, he began to sway slowly with the music. Her heart raced with panic and she quickly lowered her head, not daring to meet his eyes. But his warm breath kept brushing against her cheeks and neck, making her even more flustered. She secretly glanced at him, only to find him staring at her. Panicking, she immediately averted her gaze again, her face burning. Amid her panic and confusion, she suddenly felt a soft kiss fall on her neck and a hand settle on her hip. Her heart pounded wildly and unsure of what to do besides holding him tightly and burying her head against his chest.
Later, sitting in the rickshaw on their way home, Shen Hui felt dizzy, unsure whether it was from the wine or from the heat of the night. So she leaned against John's shoulder, drowsy and comforted. He held her tightly in his arms. Neither of them spoke a word all the way. But, as soon as they stepped inside the apartment, they didn't turn on the lights. Instead she felt his lips capturing hers in a firm, passionate kiss. His tongue intertwined with hers. She immediately understood what was going on. She tried to push him away but the kiss made her weak and in a daze. When his hand reached up and grasped her breast through her clothes, she began to regain some sense of control. Summoning her strength, she wanted to stop him and whispered faintly:
"Don't..., please don't do it."
But John didn't let her go. Instead, he continued to kiss her, his voice soft and earnest as he murmured:
"You know I like you and I know you like me too."
Shen Hui wanted to say "no" in her heart, but instead, she found herself responding to John's deep kiss. When he began to remove her clothes, her resistance was hesitant and feeble. John whispered softly near her ear:
"Don't worry. I won't take your virginity."
Upon hearing these words, she inexplicably stopped resisting and allowed him to undress her completely. They lay naked together on the bed, kissing and touching. When he began to touch and kiss her most intimate place, she surrendered fully to the moment.
The next morning, Shen Hui woke in his arms, both of them still unclothed. The silent tears slipped down her cheeks and her quiet sobs woke him. Seeing her crying, he held her tightly and comforted her:
"Don't cry. I like you. From how you responded yesterday, I knew you also enjoyed my touch, didn't you? Actually I should have gone further, but I respect that you're still holding onto your engagement. As long as you're comfortable with our oral sex, we can continue sharing the moments like this. No one ever has to know, not even your fiancee."
As he spoke, he gently lifted her chin to meet her tearful eyes. He kissed her tenderly, first on her tear-streaked eyes, then her cheeks and finally her lips while his hands began to caress her breasts, moving softly over her body again. Despite her tears, she found herself succmbing to his kiss and touch.
After John left for work, Shen Hui sat alone, overwhelmed. To be honest, she couldn't clearly explain her current feeling. No, she loved her Tao Ge, her childhood sweetheart. They had grown up together. During the years he had been away, she had never stopped thinking about him.
But now it was not fair to say that John had roped her. When he kissed her, she didn't have resisted. In fact, she had enjoyed it. At first, she had merely been curious about what a kiss would feel like but in the end she not only enjoyed it but also responded to his kisses and touches as well. Even now, the memory of his caresses and the sensations he stirred in her made her feel an irresistible longing. Thinking of this, she shook her head vigorously as a wave of guilt washed over her. No, it couldn't go on like this. As long as her engagement remained intact, she was Tao Ge's fiancee. Her parents and Nanny You would never forgive her. Even she knew deep down she wouldn't be able to forgive herself either. The only one solution for her was to leave, not just leaving this apartment but also leaving Peking. She would return to her hometown where she could wait for Tao Ge's return. Driven by this thought, she left without taking anything with her. When John returned home that night, he found that Shen Hui was gone. All that remained was a note:
"I have to leave. You are a good man but I'm engaged. Thanks and Goodbye!"