Under normal circumstances, when an apple hits someone on the head, it gets eaten.
Under slightly abnormal circumstances, when an apple hits someone on the head, a Newton is born.
Under very normal circumstances, a reincarnated protagonist would travel to another world—fight for power, build kingdoms, and collect beauties along the way.
Under slightly abnormal circumstances, a reincarnated protagonist in ancient times casually becomes an emperor.
But under circumstances so absurd they defy all reason…Evan was reborn as Adam.
"Damn it! Is this some kind of sick joke?!"
Adam—once a regular twenty-first-century guy—sat beneath an apple tree, covering his crown jewels with two oversized banana leaves, angrily chomping on the very apple that had just smashed his head.
Above him, a lush apple tree drooped with ripe fruit. Sunlight pierced the clouds, so bright it almost hurt to breathe. The forest surrounding him was absurdly green, alive with chirping birds and hopping critters. A squirrel scurried over, rubbing against his ankle with zero fear. Even the wildlife here had attitude.
This was Eden.The so-called perfect place of human legend.The reincarnator's nightmare.
No beautiful women.No servants.No riches.No kingdoms.
Not even a single coin in sight—so much for getting rich quietly.
After finally earning a reincarnation chance, Evan ended up here. Alone. Immortal. As Adam.
Anger boiled over.He bit into the apple with righteous fury.
"I told you not to eat this fruit."
A flash of white light streaked across the air.
An old man descended.
White robe.White beard.White hair.And a holy glow so blinding it felt like a cheap special effect from a high-budget movie.
God.
Scripture said Adam only ate the fruit after Eve appeared—and only got caught because they suddenly felt shame.
Right now?God had caught him red-handed—banana leaves on, apple in mouth.Clearly not the first time.
God glared coldly.Adam glared colder.
Adam spat out a piece of apple skin at the old man's glowing feet."Listen up, Old Man. Don't think being God makes you all that impressive. I'll eat whatever I want, whenever I want!"
Spending eternity alone here was worse than death.And Adam had unlimited lifespan.Without Eve yet.This was cruelty.
God's expression cracked.
"I—I only took one day off…"Six days of work, one day of rest. Sunday. Basic divine protocol.
"That's your problem," Adam said, rolling his eyes.
"You are not Adam!" God roared.
But really… Eden had no disasters yet. No storms. No thunder. God was just… an angry old man who spent most of his time among angel figurines.
"You're right," Adam said casually. "Your future self put me here. So tell me—how are you planning to compensate me?"
Future God had promised him a proper reincarnation. Glory. Power. Comfort.
Instead… this.
Adam bit into the apple again, then tossed the core aside, smirking.
God panicked.Yes, he could manipulate time and swap souls—but why send this man here?Today was supposed to be Eve Creation Day.Now it was chaos.
Dizzy, overwhelmed, God vanished.
"Hey! Get back here, you glowing senile old man!" Adam shouted.
No response.
Cursing followed.Escalated.Eventually devolved into conceptual insults aimed at God's entire lineage.
Thirty minutes later, Adam was hungry again.
He lay under the apple tree, staring at the branches.
A terrible idea formed.
Half an hour later, a crude wooden spear was complete.Adam wandered the forest, eyes hungry.
Another half hour later, a deer lay bound with vines, a spear through its belly—alive but unable to die.
Death hadn't been invented yet.Convenient. No refrigeration needed.
Adam began rubbing sticks together to make fire.
God appeared again."What are you doing?" he demanded, furious. Adam had harmed another creature.
"Preparing the ingredients," Adam said, spinning the stick expertly.
"Ingredients?" God frowned.
"Yes. This one's mine. No sharing."
"You mean… you're going to eat the deer?" God was shocked.
"Obviously. Unless you can send me somewhere with luxury, women, and worshippers. Then I might consider sparing you a leg."
He pointed at the deer's thigh and grinned.
God felt dizzy again.This Adam was beyond his comprehension.He vanished.
Adam continued working. Food first.By nightfall, humanity mastered fire for the first time.
Adam leaned back under the apple tree, burping contentedly.Nearby, the legless deer bleated weakly.
"So… what's next?" he thought.
"A house," he decided.Being reincarnated without a roof was unacceptable.
He grabbed two stones and began grinding them together.And just like that, in a single day, humanity entered the Stone Age—leaping forward millions of years.
God appeared again."You again?"
"Making a stone axe. Gonna chop trees," Adam replied casually.
"A stone… axe?" God craned his neck, confused.
Adam handed him the stones."Watch. Sharpening them makes them smaller, smoother, sharper. Very advanced technology. Your turn."
God tried.Instantly, the stone became perfectly sharp.
Adam smiled."Next lesson: the era of social hierarchy… starting with you. First, grab those stones."
And just like that, history didn't just move. It sprinted.