I woke up early that morning because my mother was already screaming my name from the kitchen.
"Kelly! Get ready! We're leaving in an hour."
A festival was going on, and apparently spending the whole day outside with family was mandatory.
Honestly?
I wasn't even excited.
The only thing I was excited about these days was opening Instagram and seeing a message from Max.
Which is honestly embarrassing.
A month ago, if someone had told me I would wake up and immediately check whether a boy texted me or not, I would've laughed in their face.
Yet here I was.
Doing exactly that.
Pathetic.
I opened Instagram.
Nothing.
No messages.
No notifications.
No reels.
Nothing.
I stared at the screen for a few seconds before locking my phone.
Why was I disappointed?
The guy literally told me he still loved another girl.
What exactly was I expecting?
I threw my phone onto my bed and got ready.
The entire day passed in a blur.
Crowded streets.
Bright lights.
Food stalls.
My parents talking.
My relatives talking.
Children running around.
And me?
I was physically there.
Mentally?
Not even close.
Every few hours I'd secretly take out my phone and check Instagram.
Still nothing.
Then I'd put it back.
Then check again ten minutes later.
Then pretend I wasn't checking for anyone.
At one point I actually laughed at myself.
"Bro, get a life."
Unfortunately, I didn't listen.
Hours later, while sitting inside the car, I finally opened Instagram again.
And froze.
4+ messages.
From Max.
My stupid heart immediately started acting weird.
I opened the chat.
"Heyyy."
Five minutes later.
"Where are you?"
Then.
"Are you ignoring me?"
And another.
"Did I do something wrong?"
I stared at the messages.
For some reason, I couldn't stop smiling.
Not because he was worried.
Okay maybe because he was worried.
Just a little.
I quickly replied.
"Bro chill "
Almost immediately he came online.
The green dot appeared.
And somehow that tiny green dot made me happier than it should have.
"Where were you?"
"Outside."
"For six hours?"
"People actually have lives, Max."
"No they don't."
I laughed.
Then he sent:
"I thought you were mad at me."
I paused.
Mad?
Was I?
A little.
Hurt?
Definitely.
But angry?
I wasn't even sure anymore.
"I'm not mad."
"Then why weren't you replying?"
"Because I was outside with my family."
"Hnn."
I could practically feel him pouting through the screen.
God.
This boy.
I shook my head and smiled.
Then another thought entered my mind.
Why was he so worried?
Didn't he already have Kate?
Shouldn't she be the one he texts all day?
Why was he looking for me?
The thought made my stomach twist in a weird way.
A happy way.
A dangerous way.
I immediately pushed it away.
No.
Don't start imagining things.
Kelly, be serious for once.
The guy literally told you he loves another girl.
I continued talking normally before telling him I was still busy.
Then I went offline.
That night, we talked again.
Nothing important.
Just random things.
Stupid things.
The kind of conversations that don't mean anything.
Yet somehow become your favorite part of the day.
Eventually he texted:
"Goodnight."
I smiled.
"Goodnight."
A few seconds later another notification appeared.
"I love you."
I froze.
Again.
Why did he keep doing that?
Why did he keep saying it so casually?
As if those three words weren't capable of ruining my entire sleep schedule.
I stared at the message.
Then liked it.
And before my brain could stop me—
"Love you too."
Sent.
OH MY GOD.
I immediately buried my face into my pillow.
What was wrong with me?
Why did I send that?
Was I insane?
I waited for some huge reaction.
Maybe a paragraph.
Maybe excitement.
Maybe literally anything.
Instead he just liked my message.
Then went offline.
...
Excuse me?
THAT'S IT?
I rolled around on my bed dramatically.
How was I supposed to sleep after embarrassing myself like that?
The next morning, I woke up and checked my phone.
Nothing.
Again.
Great.
Amazing.
Fantastic.
I spent the next few hours trying to start conversations.
Sending reels.
Replying to notes.
Even reacting to stories.
And somehow every conversation felt shorter than before.
Dryer.
Colder.
Like something had changed overnight.
Days passed.
The more I liked him, the less available he became.
Which honestly sounds like a joke.
One day I finally messaged Ava.
The only person I trusted enough.
"Hey."
"What happened?"
Nothing else.
No questions.
No judgment.
Just what happened.
And honestly?
That's why I loved her.
Because she never forced me to pretend I was okay.
I told her everything.
Not the details.
Not his name.
Just enough.
"There is a boy."
"Aha."
"He proposed."
"AHA."
"Shut up."
She started spamming me with messages.
And for the first time in days I laughed.
A real laugh.
Not the fake ones I was giving everyone else.
Then she asked the question I was avoiding myself.
"So do you like him?"
I stared at the screen.
Do I?
I mean...
I waited for his messages.
Thought about him all day.
Smiled when he texted.
Got upset when he disappeared.
Felt jealous whenever he mentioned Kate.
Yeah.
I was cooked.
Completely cooked.
But saying it out loud felt scary.
So I replied:
"I don't know."
Biggest lie of my life.
The next day at tuition, Ava sat beside me.
She looked at me once and immediately asked:
"You were crying, weren't you?"
I hate her.
Not really.
But how does she always know?
I told her everything.
Every stupid detail.
Every message.
Every voice note.
Every moment that hurt.
And she listened.
The whole time.
Without interrupting.
Without making fun of me.
Without telling me I was dramatic.
When I finally stopped talking she sighed.
Then said quietly:
"Just don't lose yourself while loving someone."
At that moment I laughed.
Because I thought she was exaggerating.
Now?
I think she was right.
Later that evening I posted a note.
"I am in love <3"
A few minutes later Max replied.
"Who?"
I smiled.
"Can't tell."
"Tell me."
"No."
"First letter."
I rolled my eyes.
"M."
A few seconds passed.
Then:
"I'll find him."
I stared at the message.
Seriously?
How could he be this smart and this dumb at the same time?
I laughed before finally typing:
"I was talking about you, idiot."
The typing bubble appeared.
Disappeared.
Appeared again.
Then finally—
"I can't believe someone loves me."
And just like that...
My smile disappeared.
Because I did.
I loved him.
Way more than I should.
Way more than he deserved.
And maybe that was the problem.
Because while I was slowly making him the center of my world...
A part of him still belonged to Kate.
And no matter how understanding I tried to be...
A tiny part of me kept screaming the same question.
How the hell do you love two people at the same time?