Tobirama Senju watched his big brother yapping passionately about "let's unite" and "gathering everyone's strength," and he just didn't have the heart to interrupt him.
Indeed, Black Zetsu had told that story earlier - the part about Kaguya had been proven false by Makoto.
So, logically, everything else after that which Makoto didn't call out must be the truth.
Like how the younger brother Ashura gathered everyone's strength and ultimately beat his overpowered big brother Indra, starting their endless feud.
Black Zetsu's story filled in the blanks nicely compared to what Makoto had told them before.
But since Black Zetsu witnessed this history firsthand and spilled so many details, Tobirama spotted a massive problem.
—What the hell does Ashura "gathering everyone's strength" actually mean?!
If you want to say Ashura gathered everyone's strength, fine, but why the fuck did "everyone" include his dad, the Sage of Six Paths?
The Sage was biased as fuck, dumping all his power onto Ashura while the strength of the other villagers was basically negligible!
Looking at it that way, when it comes to truly gathering everyone's strength, Makoto's version was much much better.
At least in his version, every single person was irreplaceable—otherwise, they wouldn't have needed to drag their asses all the way back to Konoha.
While the three former Hokages took turns roasting Tsunade on how to be a proper Hokage, Makoto and his crew rolled into Konoha.
Kushina waved goodbye to the main group and left.
She bounded across the rooftops of the long-lost Konoha, finally skidding to a halt on top of the Hokage Rock.
Kushina originally wanted to see Naruto, but since she left in such a hurry, she totally forgot to ask where the kid actually lived, so she was stuck hanging out here for a bit.
After sitting on the Hokage Rock for a while, Kushina channeled chakra to her feet and hopped down.
"Minato, how should I approach Naruto?" Kushina touched the face of the Fourth Hokage's stone statue, looking all troubled.
"Huh?"
Kushina pulled her hand back, ready to look around and get a feel for the current village while searching for Naruto, when she noticed something weird on her palm.
The Impure World Reincarnation body definitely has its downsides.
For average ninja, being an Edo Tensei is almost all pros.
Unlimited chakra, you can't die, and you feel no pain.
But for the top-tier shinobis, the inability to feel pain is actually a massive handicap.
Just like that freak Uchiha Madara—after getting revived through the Samsara of Heavenly Life, he perversely bit himself just to feel pain and got weirdly turned on by it.
For them, physical sensations beyond just Chakra are essential parts of how they fight.
Losing those "living" characteristics just makes them feel uncomfortable and tanks their combat instincts.
Just like right now.
After squinting at it for a second, Kushina finally realized what was on her hand and her face went pitch black.
"Sorry, Minato."
Feeling absolutely grossed out, Kushina apologized and aggressively wiped her hand on a clean spot nearby to scrape the shit off.
Job done, Kushina transformed back into the Red Hot Habanero, stomping off to find someone to kill!
"Third Hokage, get your ass out here, old man!!!"
At the entrance to Tsunade's house, an enraged Kushina with her hair going wild kicked at empty air.
"Huh? Where the hell is the door? Why is there only a frame left?"
—Right, the door had already been blown to kingdom come by that angry Water Dragon Bullet earlier.
"Is that Kushina? Sounds like Makoto and the others finally arrived," Hiruzen said from inside the house.
"Alright, Tsunade, time to step up and do your job as Hokage. Handle this mess," Hashirama added with deep concern.
"That's right, don't let us down again. And about your hemophobia? There's someone named Uchiha Hikari in their group. Have her use Tsukuyomi on you and torture you a few times in a Genjutsu specifically targeting that issue." Tobirama nodded in agreement.
Tsunade: "..."
'What the fuck?'
'So that's your treatment plan? Are you sure that won't just make my condition worse?'
Good grief, they found out she has Creation Rebirth and now they just want to torture her to death, don't they?
'Is this guy really her biological granduncle?'
Bam!
Just as everyone stood up to go outside, interrupting Tsunade's internal rant, the sliding door of the house was kicked to smithereens.
"Sigh, its broken again." Shizune sighed helplessly.
With a drunk super-strength monster in the house, broken doors were just like typical tuesday.
She thought the doors were finally safe after Tsunade got lectured by the previous Hokages.
But nope, not even five minutes later, another door had sacrificed its life!
"Third Hokage, you old geezer!" Kushina appeared outside, literally fuming. "Explain to me why you're treating Minato like this! Why is there... on Minato's Hokage Rock..."
"Is there what?" Tsunade asked, confused.
"Yeah, what's up there?" Hashirama and Tobirama looked just as lost.
"Big..." Kushina's face turned beet red with embarrassment.
Though, who knows how a zombie from the Impure World actually blushes.
"Big what?"
"BIG SHIT! And it's dried! Because I can't smell anything, I ended up holding it in my palm, crushing it, and staring at it carefully for way too long!" Kushina decided to say screw it—what's done is done, and she's already dead, so why be afraid to say it?
"What?! That's outrageous!" Hashirama and Tobirama couldn't contain themselves, shouting in unison.
"The Hokage Rock is the symbol of the village! How could there be crap on it? Did you build public toilets right on top of their heads?" Hashirama glared at Sarutobi Hiruzen.
"Monkey, be honest—was this done by someone in the village with a grudge against the Fourth? And since the lady said the poop was dried, it means it's been sitting there for quite some time."
"Let me guess. Was it the inherently evil Uchiha clan? It had to be the Uchiha! They covet the Hokage position, so naturally, they'd be jealous of the Fourth... Plus, when we got back, Brother, we overheard passersby talking about witnessing someone with a Sharingan sucking up waste from a septic tank. At the time, we thought they were joking. But thinking about it now, it's really terrifying. The inherently evil Uchiha must have developed some forbidden technique targeting literal shit!" Tobirama Senju analyzed with one hundred percent seriousness.
"What? Could it be... Shit Release?" Hashirama instantly turned pale with fright.
"Brother, what are you scared of? Your Wood Release is the natural counter to that." Tobirama side-eyed him.
"Eh? You're right!" Hashirama suddenly had an epiphany. "Speaking of which, if the Uchiha clan actually developed this release technique, does that mean someone among them has inherited Madara's will?"
"Preparing to become the 'soil' to nurture the flowers? Come to think of it, our Will of Fire says: Where the leaf dance, the fire of the will continues to burn. The burning leaves will become nutrients, nourishing the new growth of green leaves. But actually, what nourishes green leaves better than manure?"
"The Uchiha clan developing Shit Release actually means they've truly inherited the Will of Fire! Ah, that child Itachi Uchiha must have killed a bunch of good people by mistake!"
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