Nik was sitting on the couch, gripping his controller as he stared at the screen in pure frustration.
For the fifth time in a row, the same player killed him.
"YOU SON OF A—! I'm gonna kill you! I'll find out where you live!" he shouted into the voice chat.
The other player's laughter immediately came through the television speakers.
"Hahaha! Cry harder, idiot!"
The voice was unmistakably that of a child.
Nik's eye twitched.
"You little bastard. I'll curse you."
A green sphere of magic appeared in his hand.
"Curse who?"
The voice behind him made him freeze.
Nik's entire body went rigid.
Slowly, he turned around.
"Mom?"
Standing behind the couch with her arms crossed was Qetsiyah.
She was staring at him.
Not angry.
Not yet.
Which was somehow worse.
"What are you doing here?" Nik asked nervously.
Qetsiyah raised an eyebrow.
"I came to visit my adorable son and discovered he's threatening small children."
"You are so screwed, dumbass!" the kid's voice suddenly shouted through the TV.
Nik immediately pointed at the screen.
"Shut the hell up!"
He turned the console off before looking back at his mother.
"It's not what you think."
"What exactly do I think?"
"That I was actually going to curse a child?"
Qetsiyah's eyes narrowed.
"Were you?"
The look she gave him promised suffering if he lied.
Nik swallowed.
"No..."
His voice got quieter.
"I mean... it would've been harmless."
"Harmless?"
"Just a little curse."
"What kind of curse?"
Nik looked away.
"A few days of itching."
"Oh."
Qetsiyah nodded slowly.
"So you were going to curse a child because you lost a video game."
"When you say it like that, it sounds bad."
"Because it is bad."
She paused.
"Also, losing to a child is embarrassing."
Nik immediately sat up.
"Hey! The little gremlin does nothing all day! I have actual problems!"
"Problems?"
"Yes."
"Such as?"
Nik started counting on his fingers.
"Two women."
"Mm."
"A dependent little wolf."
"Mm."
"A dysfunctional family."
"Mm."
"A father who's Klaus Mikaelson."
Qetsiyah nodded thoughtfully.
"Fair enough."
Nik pointed at her triumphantly.
"Exactly."
Then he squinted.
"Wait. Are you jealous?"
Qetsiyah looked horrified.
"No."
"You sounded jealous."
"I did not."
"You definitely did."
Qetsiyah rolled her eyes.
"Nik, you literally came from me."
"That's not helping your argument."
"When I found you dying, I used magic to turn you back into a fetus and carried you myself."
Nik groaned.
"Mom."
"I'm serious."
"Mom."
"You are biologically and magically my child."
"Mom."
"The fact that you inherited my personality proves it."
Nik pointed at her.
"That sounds less like a compliment and more like a threat."
"It can be both."
He sighed.
"Well, my family is problematic."
"That is the understatement of the century."
Then Qetsiyah patted her lap.
"Come here."
Nik's eyes immediately lit up.
Without hesitation, he abandoned all dignity and threw himself onto the couch, resting his head in her lap.
Qetsiyah smiled and began running her fingers through his hair.
"There he is."
"Don't make this weird."
"You literally ran over the second I offered."
"I was strategically accepting affection."
"Sure."
For the next hour they talked, joked, and argued about absolutely everything.
Just like always.
---
Eventually, Qetsiyah's smile faded slightly.
Not enough to be concerning.
Just enough for Nik to notice.
"Son."
"Hm?"
"Do you remember when I told you your paternal grandmother wasn't actually dead?"
Nik opened one eye.
"Yeah?"
"Well."
The smile returned.
The dangerous smile.
"You ignored my rules and accidentally helped her join the spirits haunting the city."
Nik immediately sat up.
"...Sorry?"
Qetsiyah sighed dramatically.
"I have so much work to do now."
"It wasn't that bad."
A fist landed on his head.
"Ow!"
"No jealousy."
Nik rubbed his head.
"I wasn't jealous."
"You absolutely were."
"I wasn't."
"You have two women."
"Okay."
"One of them is literally Amara."
"Okay."
"The same Amara who stole my ex-husband."
Nik groaned.
"Mom."
"What?"
"You gave Amara to me."
"Technically."
"You also punished her enough already."
"Debatable."
Nik pointed accusingly.
"And you're my mother."
"Yes."
"Mothers aren't supposed to have boyfriends."
Qetsiyah slowly looked down at him.
The room became suspiciously quiet.
"...Repeat that."
Nik immediately knew he'd made a mistake.
"Oh no."
"Repeat it."
"I'd rather not."
"Nik."
"Mom."
"Repeat it."
"No."
Qetsiyah smiled.
That smile.
The smile that usually meant someone was about to regret something.
"You just said I can't have a boyfriend?"
"Yes."
"And why exactly?"
"Because you're my mother."
"That's terrible logic."
"It works for me."
"Then Klaus can't date anyone either."
Nik froze.
"That's different."
"It isn't."
"It is."
"Explain."
Nik opened his mouth.
Nothing came out.
He thought.
Thought harder.
Then finally pointed at her.
"I like my argument."
Qetsiyah burst out laughing.
"You are such a hypocrite."
"I'm your son."
"Unfortunately."
A comfortable silence settled between them.
Qetsiyah resumed playing with his hair.
For a moment everything was peaceful.
Which should've been the warning sign.
Because peace never lasted in this family.
"Son."
"Hm?"
"Why do you have to be so stubborn?"
Nik closed his eyes.
"We're really doing this?"
"Yes."
"I was having fun."
"So was I."
"Then why ruin it?"
"Because I'm your mother."
"That doesn't answer anything."
"It answers enough."
Nik sighed dramatically.
Qetsiyah ignored him.
"I told you not to kill your grandmother."
"I didn't."
"You had Caroline and Bonnie kill her."
"Exactly. So technically I followed your order."
"Don't finish that sentence."
Nik wisely stayed quiet.
"Besides."
Qetsiyah narrowed her eyes.
"You didn't even do it properly."
"Mom."
"What?"
"You're focusing on the wrong part."
"There is no wrong part."
"Yes there is."
"No."
"Yes."
Another fist landed on his head.
"Ow!"
"Stop arguing."
"You literally gave me your personality."
"And I regret it every day."
"Lie."
"A little."
Then Qetsiyah's eyes suddenly glowed green.
Nik immediately froze.
"...Mom?"
"Hm?"
"Why are your eyes glowing?"
"Because you've given me work."
"That sounds threatening."
"Because it is threatening."
Nik swallowed.
"Mom."
"Yes?"
"I apologized."
"Yes."
"Several times."
"Yes."
"So we're good."
"No."
"...No?"
"No."
"Why?"
Qetsiyah smiled.
Because I had to cancel my date."
Nik stared.
"...You're serious?"
"Completely."
"So you're punishing me because you missed a date?"
"No."
Nik relaxed.
"Oh."
"I'm punishing you because you turned a simple problem into a gigantic problem and made me miss a date."
"...That's literally the same thing."
"Not to me."
Before Nik could argue, glowing green runes erupted around the couch.
"Oh, crap."
WHOOOM.
Nik vanished.
A second later he reappeared hanging upside down in the middle of the room.
"MOM!"
Qetsiyah remained seated.
Calmly.
"Yes?"
"THIS IS UNNECESSARY!"
"I disagree."
"PUT ME DOWN!"
"No."
"WHY?!"
"Because I'm still annoyed."
"YOU WERE PETTING MY HAIR FIVE SECONDS AGO!"
"I can do both."
"YOU'RE INSANE!"
"You love me."
"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!"
"It isn't the wrong answer either."
Qetsiyah observed him swinging helplessly for a moment.
Then she smiled.
"You know..."
"No."
"You'd actually look pretty funny as a frog."
"MOM!"
"I'm just considering options."
"DON'T CONSIDER THEM!"
"Hmm..."
"MOM!"
"Fine."
Nik sighed in relief.
"Thank you."
"For now."
"I HATE THIS FAMILY!"
Qetsiyah laughed.
"No, you don't."
"...Maybe a little."
"Lie."
And judging by the look on her face, Nik's punishment was far from over.