After lunch came History of Magic.
The best class in all of Hogwarts.
No debate.
No competition.
Everyone filed into the classroom, still heavy from food and warmth, and took their seats. The room itself felt old—dusty air, tall shelves, and the faint chill that came with centuries of forgotten lectures.
Then Professor Binns floated through the blackboard.
Literally through it.
"Good afternoon," he droned, not acknowledging the collective flinch from the first-years. "I am Professor Cuthbert Binns, and I shall be instructing you in the history of magic."
He adjusted his ghostly cuffs and began immediately.
No greeting.
No questions.
No concern for mortal attention spans.
"Hogwarts, as you may know, was founded over a thousand years ago—"
Alexander leaned back in his chair.
Incredible, he thought. A ghost professor.
Zero pay.
No food breaks.
No sleep required.
"Smart move, Hogwarts," he muttered.
Binns continued, voice perfectly monotone, drifting slightly above the floor as he spoke about early wizarding councils, ancient disputes, and dates that sounded like they had personally aged him.
Alexander felt it hit.
The full lunch.
The warm room.
The steady, unbroken lecture.
His eyes closed.
First in the class.
His head tilted slightly—and he was gone.
Cho Chang nudged him gently with her elbow.
"Alex," she whispered. "Wake up."
"No need," he murmured, eyes still shut. "Everything he's saying is in the textbook. Word for word."
She nudged him again.
"This is a great nap window," he added. "Don't waste it."
Cho stared at him, torn between disbelief and responsibility.
Professor Binns kept talking.
Within minutes, the effect spread.
One by one, students followed Alexander's lead. Heads dipped. Quills slipped from fingers. A Slytherin snored softly. Even a few Ravenclaws succumbed—though they at least tried to look studious while doing it.
Only a handful stayed awake.
Cho was one of them.
She wrote everything.
Dates. Names. Conflicts. Rebellions. Treaties.
Binns didn't notice.
Didn't pause.
Didn't care.
He lectured on, unfazed by the sea of unconscious students before him.
Then—
The bell rang.
Everyone jolted awake at once.
Papers rustled. Quills snapped upright. Students blinked around in confusion, refreshed and oddly content.
Alexander stretched.
"See?" he said quietly to Cho. "Productive class."
Cho sighed, rubbing her wrist from writing. "You're impossible."
Alexander smiled.
History of Magic completed.
Knowledge optional.
Nap mandatory.