Waking up dead is hard. Waking up dead and tired is worse.
I opened my eyes—or rather, ignited the blue soul-flames in my sockets—and immediately regretted it.
Creak.
A sound like stepping on a dry twig echoed through my skull. It came from my elbow.
I looked down. My arm, previously a polished, terrifying obsidian black, now looked like weathered charcoal. There were hairline fractures running from my wrist to my shoulder.
[SYSTEM ALERT][HP: 59%][BONE DENSITY CRITICAL][STATUS: OSTEOPOROSIS STAGE 4]
"Great," I rattled. My voice was a dry rasp. "I survived the knights only to die of calcium deficiency."
I tried to sit up. It felt like my spine was made of gravel.
"Lord Ossian!"
A small green face popped up next to the throne. It was the old goblin from last night. He was holding a cracked clay bowl filled with... mud? No, dead beetles.
"Breakfast," the goblin squeaked, trembling with reverence. "We scavenged the best for you."
I looked at the beetles. I looked at the goblin.
I don't have a stomach. I don't have a tongue. But the phantom sensation of nausea hit me anyway.
"I..." I paused, trying to sound majestic instead of horrified. "I do not require sustenance. Eat it yourself."
The goblin's eyes watered. "The Lord is merciful! He grants us his bounty!"
He scurried away to share the beetles with the children huddled in the corner.
I sighed. Clack-clack.
I pulled up the System window. I needed to see the damage. The numbers that appeared made me want to have a heart attack, if I still had a heart.
[SANCTUARY STATUS: ACTIVE][UPKEEP: 10 MANA / HOUR][CURRENT MANA: 0][SOURCE: HOST VITALITY (HP)]
I did the math instantly. Project Manager brain never turns off.
10 Mana an hour. I had zero Mana. So it was burning my bones. At this rate, I would dissolve into a pile of dust in... six hours.
"I need batteries," I whispered. "I need magic crystals. I need a power plant."
BOOM.
The heavy oak doors of the castle shook. Dust rained down from the ceiling.
My skeletons, who had been standing around like statues, suddenly snapped into combat poses.
"Intruders," the lead skeleton rasped. "Breaching the outer perimeter."
I rubbed my cracking temple. "Already? It's not even 9 AM."
I didn't want to go. I really didn't. I wanted to sit here and figure out how to not disintegrate.
But if the Sanctuary broke, the goblins died. And if the goblins died, my 40% bone density sacrifice was a sunk cost.
"Help me up," I ordered.
Two skeletons grabbed my arms. They hoisted me off the throne.
Snap. Pop. Grind.
"Gently!" I hissed. "I'm a historic monument, treat me with respect."
I limped toward the balcony overlooking the courtyard. The walk took five minutes. By the time I got there, I was out of breath, which is anatomically impossible, but spiritually true.
I looked down.
The knights from yesterday were gone. In their place stood a new group.
Five of them. Unlike the knights, these guys weren't wearing uniforms. They were a motley crew.
A warrior with a sword twice his size. A mage in blue robes holding a glowing staff. A rogue spinning a dagger. A priest clutching a holy symbol. An archer with a green cloak.
Adventurers. The freelancers of the fantasy world.
"Open the barrier!" the warrior shouted. He pounded on the invisible green dome. "We know you're in there, Necromancer! The Guild put a bounty on the anomaly!"
The mage stepped forward. "I sense weak mana signatures. Just some skeletons and... goblins? It's a trash mob farm, guys. Easy gold."
Trash mob?
I felt a spark of annoyance. I wasn't a "mob." I was a C-suite executive.
"Boss," the goblin elder whispered, tugging my cape. "Those are Silvers. C-Rank. They will slaughter us."
I looked at my own stats.
[ATTACK: 5 (Weak)][DEFENSE: 2 (Fragile)][MANA: 0]
If they broke the barrier, one hit from that big sword would shatter me like a cheap vase.
I had no weapon. I had no magic.
I only had one thing: Presentation.
"Open the gates," I said.
The skeletons looked at me. The goblins gasped.
"But Lord..."
"Do it."
I adjusted my crown. I straightened my spine, ignoring the grinding pain. I wrapped my shadows around me like a bespoke suit.
The gates groaned open.
The adventurers stopped banging. They looked at the dark opening.
I stepped out.
I moved slowly—mostly because my hips hurt, but to them, it must have looked like the confident stride of an apex predator. The black mist of my body trailed behind me. My blue eye-flames burned cold.
I stopped ten feet from them.
I didn't draw a weapon. I didn't raise a shield. I just stood there, towering over them, looking down with empty sockets.
"You are noisy," I said.
My voice was amplified by the castle acoustics. It sounded like a crypt door slamming shut.
The warrior took a step back. "Identify yourself, monster!"
I looked at him. I was tired. I was in pain. I was annoyed that I had to deal with this before coffee.
"I am..." I paused, trying to remember my new name. "Lord Ossian. And you are trespassing on private property."
The mage raised his staff. "It's a Lich! Prepare the holy fire!"
Holy fire. That sounded bad. That sounded like instant death for a skeleton.
I had to stop them. I had to de-escalate.
I took a step forward, raising my hand to wave "stop."
"Wait," I began. "I do not wish to—"
WHOOSH.
A wave of cold, purple pressure exploded from my body.
It wasn't a spell. I didn't cast anything. It just... leaked out.
The air temperature dropped twenty degrees. The grass at my feet turned grey and died instantly. The birds in the trees stopped singing.
[PASSIVE SKILL TRIGGERED: LORD'S DOMINION][EFFECT: FEAR AURA (LEGENDARY)][RADIUS: 50 METERS]
I blinked. Oops.
The effect was immediate.
The mage's eyes rolled back in his head. He dropped his staff and collapsed like a wet sack of flour.
The rogue threw up. Immediately. Just projectile vomited onto his own boots and fell to his knees, clutching his chest.
The priest started screaming silently, his mouth opening and closing like a fish, before he fainted dead away.
The warrior—the big guy with the giant sword—was shaking so hard his armor rattled like a tambourine.
"M-monster..." he stuttered. Tears were streaming down his face. "He... he didn't even cast a spell. Just his presence... it's overwhelming..."
I stood there, hand still raised in a "wait" gesture.
Is this a joke? I thought. I'm literally held together by magic glue and hope.
To them, my raised hand looked like I was about to snap my fingers and delete their souls.
The warrior dropped his sword. Clang.
He fell to his knees, pressing his forehead into the dirt.
"Mercy!" he screamed. "We didn't know! We didn't know a Demon King resided here! We are just ants! Please, Great One, spare us!"
I lowered my hand slowly.
This was the "Face-Slapping" the System talked about? I didn't even slap them. I just showed up to work.
"I..." I rasped.
"We leave everything!" the warrior blubbered. "Take it! Take the gold! Take the crystals! Just let us go!"
Crystals?
My eye-flames flared.
"Leave the crystals," I said. My voice was low, greedy. "And get off my lawn."
The warrior scrambled up. He grabbed the unconscious mage by the collar, kicked the rogue awake, and they ran. They ran so fast they left dust trails like a cartoon.
They left a heavy leather bag on the ground.
I stared at their retreating figures until they vanished into the forest.
Silence returned to the graveyard.
"Amazing..."
I turned. The skeletons were kneeling. The goblins were prostrating themselves so flat they looked like rugs.
"A single glance," the goblin elder whispered. "He defeated a Silver Rank party with a glance."
I felt my knees buckle. The adrenaline was wearing off, and the bone pain was coming back with a vengeance.
Keep it together, Arjun. Walk to the bag. Don't fall over.
I walked to the leather bag. I nudged it with my toe. It clinked.
I opened it.
Inside, glowing with a soft blue light, were Mana Crystals. About twenty of them. Small, low quality, but pure energy.
[RESOURCE DETECTED: MANA CRYSTALS (LOW)][QUANTITY: 20][CONVERSION TO SYSTEM MANA: 200 POINTS]
200 Mana. That was 20 hours of life.
I grabbed a crystal. It felt warm. I didn't know how to "eat" it, so I just crushed it in my hand.
The blue dust absorbed into my bones.
Oh, god. It felt better than coffee. It felt like a deep tissue massage and a pay raise combined. The cracks in my arm sealed slightly. The pain dulled.
[MANA RESTORED: 10][HP DECAY HALTED]
I looked at the bag. I looked at the goblins staring at me with hero-worship.
I had bought myself a day. Maybe two.
But those adventurers would go back to town. They would tell the Guild. And next time, they wouldn't send a C-Rank party. They would send an army.
I picked up the bag.
"Kob," I said to the goblin elder, improvising a name.
He jumped. "Yes, Lord?"
"Take this gold," I said, pointing to the coins mixed in with the crystals. "We need supplies. Seeds. Tools. If we are going to live here..."
I looked at the ruined castle.
"...we need to renovate."
I turned back to the castle. My stride was a little stronger now.
"And someone fix my throne," I muttered. "My ass bone is killing me."