Chapter 58: As One We Are WholeChapter Text
It's dark when Cissy wakes her up, and it kind of makes her jump. A figure looming over her. Watching her sleep. Hermione doesn't do that. She's normally the one sleeping in, or wakes Bellatrix up through the thread. Or by accidentally falling on her. Either way, she's normally smiling.
She misses seeing Hermione smile.
But she does like teasing her sister too. It's fun.
So when Cissy pokes her awake, shield charm at the ready, Bellatrix rolls over and pretends to go back to sleep.
"I know you're awake, Bella. I can hear your thoughts whirring away. Now get up and have a shower. We can't be late."
Late? For what? Shower?
She jumps out of bed. "What are we late for? We can go now. If you have a plan, then—"
Narcissa raises an eyebrow at her, eyes icy. So she's being playful. Fond, even. Bellatrix smiles at her. She won't get a smile back, but it's nice that Cissy is enjoying having her here.
"We are not late. I have planned accordingly so that you may wash and dine with me before we leave. You may use my shower. I would ask that you try not to use everything, but I know how your curiosity gets the better of you. At least clean up any spillages before you come downstairs."
Hmm. Cissy's trying to distract her again. "Yes, yes. But where are we going at…" she casts a quick tempus, "…ten at night? Cissy. We're meeting at midnight? Is it some kind of ritual? A potions thing? Please say it's not blood magic because—"
Narcissa tuts. "It is nothing of the sort. Now go! I'll meet you in the dining room in fifteen minutes."
Fifteen minutes?! To nosey around the bathroom, and wash her hair, and—
Cissy storms off. I know how fast you can move when you want to, Bella. And as soon as you're ready and sat at the dining table, I'll tell you what we're doing
Oh damn it all to—
She runs into the bathroom. Cissy always knows exactly how to play her. She's going to have the fastest—
She wriggles out of her dress, forcing herself not to look around at— but maybe she'll finally be able to figure out what Cissy smells like. It's been driving her crazy and—
When did she bruise her knees?
She waves her wand to start the shower and then puts it on the side. Looks at herself in the mirror. Always mystery cuts and bruises. Her back! When did that—
She pulls some moss and twigs out of her hair. Ah. The forest. She hadn't really been paying attention. Oh well. Not impor—
Hermione told her to look after herself.
But Hermione isn't here. Who cares if—
She gets in the shower.
You should care. If you can heal yourself, then do it. Cissy will have salves. Just ask.
More favours from Cissy? Your acting like a pathetic little kid. She's taking care of you too much already. Sending you to bed. Feeding you…
Telling you to be quick! You got distracted again! Hurry up!
Bellatrix slides down the banister, grinning as the air rushes past her. This staircase has always been the best for that. As long as Cissy doesn't catch her.
She jumps off the end and runs to the dining room.
Is that a new portrait? Can't be. No more Malfoys that she knows of. Memorising them had been fun. Spotting all the affairs and bastards running around. The blond hair really gave some stuff away and—
Made it!
She skids to a stop, flopping into a chair opposite Cissy.
"Five minutes late. Not bad," Narcissa clips, not looking up from her book. Bookworm. Maybe it is genetic and Hermione is right about Blacks and books.
Bellatrix just grins. She knew this was coming. "But you deliberately told me fifteen minutes when I actually had thirty, didn't you Cissy? So really, I'm ten minutes early."
Now Cissy gives her a look. Vanishes the book. Bellatrix can't quite read her expression…
"…And I got distracted because I found some cuts on my back. Had to sort them out." She adds as casually as possible. Starts eating her dinner as it appears before her. But she can just tell that Cissy is surprised. Or— or sad. Confused. Something emotional that's made her close herself off. She shouldn't have said anything.
"Bella, stop kicking the table leg."
Oh. Oops.
"And let me know later which salves I need to restock under the bathroom cabinet. For now, I need to tell you something."
Huh.
Is…Cissy nervous?
She looks across the table at her sister. Stiff posture. Impeccable table manners. Nervous.
Bellatrix frowns. "What is it?"
Narcissa places her cutlery down carefully, and takes a sip of wine. Stalling.
And presses her napkin to her lips. More stalling?! Wha— "Cissy just spit it out. What is—"
"We're meeting with Andromeda tonight."
All of her muscles seize. Breath catching.
Andy?
They're— but—
She—
Say something. You're scaring Cissy. Again.
Bellatrix clears her throat. "That's who you were writing to? Have you written to her before? Spoken with her? Have you both been— this whole time have you—"
"I haven't spoken to her in twenty-four years. The same as you. Until this evening."
Andy.
She puts down her cutlery too. Not hungry anymore. Her stomach is…
"And she wants to see us? To see me? Even after— she's not— I'm a Death Eater, Cissy!"
Cissy just looks her over. Reads her. And then sighs. "But you're not, are you? And that is the problem. If the timeline is to stay on track, we're going to have to figure this all out. Whilst you're undercover. I hate to admit it, but we need help. Genuine help, from someone who cares. Say what you will, but Andromeda has always cared. And she's a Black. She'll do what has to be done."
A Black. She wonders if Cissy remembers the words…
She squints her eyes at Narcissa. "Blood of my blood. I greet you as kin. May our fore-bearers guide us, our descendants provide for us, and our hearts beat as one."
Narcissa's eyes widen slightly, and then she nods. "Blood of my blood. I return your greeting. May the current flow strongly through our veins. As one we are whole. As one we are strong. As one we are gods on earth."
Gods on earth. If only Cissy knew.
So Cissy does remember. And she thinks that they'll be stronger with Andy. Together.
Bellatrix smiles across at her. "Okay. Okay, you're right. It's been too long. We need to all suck it up and— she really agreed? After one letter?"
Cissy sighs. "Just one. That's all it took. She replied straight away. Her handwriting is the same."
Now Bellatrix reaches for the wine. She definitely needs a glass before this whole…
She still can't figure out…
She looks down at the table uncomfortably. "Cissy…about…so you're not…"
Stop being so ridiculous. Get your words out. It's not that hard to—
She forces her head up. Meets blue eyes. Ocean eyes. Thetis was right. It makes sense. You could drown in Cissy's head if you're not careful. Dangerous depths. Strong currents under still waters. "Cissy, do you believe in— in all the…blood purism stuff?"
She still doesn't know. Doesn't understand why—
"No. No, I haven't believed that in a very long time."
Oh.
"Then why…why are you here with me, and not with Andy?"
Why didn't Cissy leave? She could have just…
Cissy's lip twitches. "Bella. I think you're forgetting that I'm a Malfoy now. You're not the only one I had to…" she drifts off. Which is unusual. Cissy always has the right words.
Oh. She had to stay silent. Not reveal what she really thought. Hide. From all the other purebloods. Slytherins.
Narcissa picks up her cutlery to continue with dinner. "Don't look at me like that, Bella. It was my choice. Andromeda made hers. I made mine. You made yours. We all had very little leeway in choosing what small amount of happiness we would take."
Happiness?
Bellatrix starts eating again too. "Don't think I grabbed any happiness. More like misplaced vengeance," she jokes. "How about you?"
Narcissa swallows, considering. "No, not happiness. But I had security. Stability. And I had Draco. And I had you."
Her?
Bellatrix looks up in shock.
Cissy shakes her head. "I couldn't leave you, Bella. It would have been too hard. Too painful."
Cissy. Little Cissy. Would she have blasted her off the tree too? If she'd left?
She can't even imagine Cissy not being there. Always there. Now that she thinks about it…no matter what she does…Cissy never rejects her. Never turns her away. Death Eater. Criminal. Fugitive. Murderer. Traitor. Muggleborn lover. Crying mess. Cissy never even blinks. Just helps.
Narcissa is taking a sip of wine. Perfect.
"I love you, Cissy."
Narcissa almost chokes, but doesn't. Quickly recovers. Doesn't say anything.
Well. She doesn't need to. Read between the lines. She's been telling Bellatrix that she loves her for years without a reply.
She changes the subject. "So, Andy, huh? And it's definitely not a trap? She's part of the Order, or her kid is. Not sure what Andy does actually. Do you think she's really just a housewitch? Because—"
Narcissa raises an eyebrow. "Just a housewitch? I don't like what you're implying, Bella. Not all of us run off to start a war to—"
"That's exactly what I mean! You've got your own secret lab experiments going on under everyone's nose. What do you think she's been up to? You remember how smart she is, right? Like…the chess games. Remember?"
Narcissa chuckles quietly. "Oh, I remember. Played both of us at once, and always won. Mind you, I was only twelve. I'd quite like to—"
Bellatrix snorts. "You'd never beat her, Cissy. Don't even try. It's humiliating, trust me. And she's not even a good winner. Grins at you all knowingly as soon as you make one tiny mistake."
"Not a good winner? Well you're not a good loser. Threw the board into the lake, if I recall correctly."
Oh yeah! Bellatrix cackles with laughter. Wonder if any of the merpeople found it? "You did that too! Sent the king flying at Andy's head when—"
Narcissa gets to her feet. Throws her napkin down on the table. "That's different! She let me win! Like I was some weak little baby. I saw her deliberately— she needed to learn not to treat me so—"
Oh. Oh that's right! Oh that was hilarious. She—
Bellatrix stands up too, still laughing. "And then she jinxed your shoes! They got stuck on your feet and cried every time you sat down. Everyone kept turning to look in the Great Hall."
Narcissa folds her arms. "And in class. It took me a week to figure out the counter spell. Flitwick kept trying to check if I was alright, offering a listening ear or a cup of tea. It was ruining my reputation. I had to call him a halfbreed to get him to go away. He always marked me more harshly after that."
A halfbreed?
Pot. Kettle. Black.
And that explains it! She's always wondered why Flitwick hates Cissy so much.
"Well. At least Andy wasn't babying you anymore. It's what you asked for."
Narcissa deflates. Corrects her posture. Looks at the clock on the mantle. Nearly time.
Bellatrix walks around the table and takes her hand. For once Cissy doesn't pull away. She does flinch though.
"Why are your hands always cold, Bella? You need to wear more suitable clothing. Or cast a warming charm.
Bellatrix shrugs. "I like these clothes. I'm used to it."
Narcissa shakes her head. "We can stop by your house and get your cloak. We have time. And we can make a plan for if this is a trap."
"Do you think it is?" Bellatrix whispers. She really hopes not. She doesn't think Andy would…but does she even know her sister anymore? She's forty now. Years have passed. What if the aurors are there? The Order? Dragging her back to the cold, and the dark, and the—
Cissy pulls her hand away. Takes her arm instead. "I don't think so, no. I read between the lines. I believe her. She wants to meet us. I explained…some things. It will be fine." She frowns, brushes some hair out of Bellatrix's face. It was falling in her eyes again.
Okay. Okay, time to do this.
Bellatrix takes a steadying breath. "Right. I'll take us to mine, to get my cloak and— and to make a quick plan B. Just— not that— and then we'll go. We'll go meet Andy."
"Good. And whilst we're at it, I want to know more about this thread. What is—"
Bellatrix apparates them away. Now the thread might take a little bit of explaining…
Bellatrix keeps her hand on Narcissa's arm even as the feeling of apparition fades away, squinting against the rain and peering across the deserted Scottish moorland. A figure emerges, striding purposely toward them from a few metres away, hand shielding their face from the rain until they come to a stop before the two witches.
They wipe some hair out of their face.
Bellatrix forces her eyes to meet Andy's. Those eyes she hasn't seen in…so long. Too long.
Happy eyes? How is she not…what did Cissy tell her? She's not angry? She takes a peek into Andromeda's mind. Ah fuck!
She jerks back out. Nope. Still a blinding white wall. Salazar, she forgot how much that—
A rumble of thunder fills the air, breaking her from her thoughts. It's followed instantly by a flash of lightning. At the heart of the storm.
Andy huffs, as though scolding the weather for its needy behaviour…and casts a drying impervious charm over Bellatrix. Oh. That is warmer. She'd forgotten to—
"Honestly, Cissy. You could have chosen a better spot. When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, and in rain by the looks of it," Andromeda grins.
What? What does she mean…has she gone a bit loopy over the years? Bellatrix just frowns at her in confusion, glancing sideways at an equally baffled Narcissa.
Andromeda groans. "I'm wasted on you two. Shakespeare? The Scottish play?"
Shakespeare…
Bellatrix grins widely. "Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove. Oh no. It is an ever-fixed mark. That looks on tempests and is never shaken."
She pauses as Andromeda's mouth drops open and Narcissa's eyebrows raise into her hair. Got them.
Bellatrix chuckles. "We're witches. A little storm won't hurt us. Especially not the three of us. Back together. But we can go somewhere more dry if you want, Andy."
Andy. Andy Andy Andy. It's so nice saying her name again. Talking to her.
Andromeda's wide eyes slide from Bellatrix to Narcissa. "Fucking hell, Cissy. You said you needed me to help Bella. That she's... But— love poetry? Muggle love poetry? Has she had a personality transplant? Is this really her?"
Narcissa tuts. "Language, Andromeda. And it's her. She's just in love. That's what we need your help with."
What? What's that got to do with—and hang on. She isn't some weak, needy—
Bellatrix turns to Cissy with a frown. "That's how you convinced her? Said I needed help? And that isn't at all why we need her. It's got nothing to do with—"
"It has everything to do with it. Or is the thread not pulling at you still?"
She takes a shaky breath as an aching sorrow fills her. Hermione. She's so far away. It hurts. It hurts so much it—
The wind picks up. Oh. Stop that, right now. Before the water joins in. You're not alone. "Tiggy?"
Tiggy appears with a pop. And then looks up at them all fondly. "Oh Mistress Bella, Mistress Andy, Mistress Cissy…you is all…Oh this is being wonderful. How can Tiggy be helping you?"
Bellatrix holds back a smile and glances over at her sisters. Andy seems shocked to see the elf. Did she think they died? That Bellatrix…
"Come on, Tiggy. Take us all somewhere warm. The library. Take us home."
She reaches out her hand to the elf, watching Andromeda bite her lip in uncertainty and then do the same, Narcissa placing a delicate hand on the elf's shoulder.
And they all disappear with a pop.
Chapter 59: Time ElapsedNotes:
Hey folks!
This is a long one, but I'm sure you don't mind ;)
Chapter Text
Ah! The library. So much better. And exciting. Bellatrix can't believe this is happening. It wasn't a trap. Andy's back.
She grabs Narcissa from behind, and then jumps back onto the sofa, ignoring the squawks of protest to pull her sister into her lap. Cissy has gotten away with acting all cool and aloof for too long.
"Bella! What is the meaning of— let go! We are far too old to be—"
"I miss holding you, Cissy. Just for now. Somewhere safe and warm, with no Dark Lords or— can't I just hold my little sister?"
Narcissa stills. And then sinks back against her. "No one can come in here?"
Bellatrix relaxes back with a chuckle. "Not a soul. Well. Except Tiggy."
She looks up at Andromeda. Who is still staring around in awe. Just the reaction she'd wanted. Well. Hermione's had been better. But she hadn't appreciated it at the time.
"It's cool, right? Told you I'd have the best library when I grew up."
Andy whirls to look at her. At them. Smiles so softly that Bellatrix has to blink back tears.
"It's the best, Bella. I shouldn't be surprised. Bookworm. How did I forget—"
Andromeda comes to sit in an armchair close to the fire, facing them. Still slightly cautious for her. Wary. She studies Bellatrix carefully. Inspects her. And then relaxes forwards, leans her elbows on her knees with a bravely hopeful but mostly curious expression.
Even her body language is nostalgic. Every move she makes reminding her of the best parts of childhood, and home, and—
"You're in love, Bella?"
Oh. Bellatrix ducks her head awkwardly, hiding her face in Narcissa's hair. In love. So fucking embarrassing. But it's true.
Narcissa hums. "Oh Andromeda, she's hopelessly in love. I've never seen two people so— when they're together, it's— it's unbelievable! Like they have a secret language. Indecipherable."
Bellatrix looks up…and glares at Andromeda's smug face. "Yes, yes. Alright. I seem to recall somebody else falling in love and then running off to—"
Andromeda's smug expression falls flat, Narcissa freezes, and silence fills the room.
Alright. Fine. It's hard but— but they have to—
She sighs. "I'm sorry, Andy. I was wrong. Wrong to ask you to stay. You had an escape and…you loved him. Love him"
Andy gets up and walks over to them, hesitates… and then nudges Narcissa's legs off the sofa to wriggle in next to them. "I'm sorry I never helped you, Bella. That I let you— you were right too. I hid away and left you to— to take it all. I had you to protect me. I had Hogwarts to escape to. And still I— I couldn't even last to the end. You're both so much stronger than me. You gave me a— a chance, Bella. I've always felt guilty about that. Loved you for that."
Oh little Andy. Of course she's strong. She's the only one of them that—
She reaches around Narcissa to stroke Andromeda's hair. "You were the strongest. You fought off the darkness. Found the light. You never believed them. Not for a second."
Andromeda's smiles at her gratefully. And then shakes her head. "My clever big sister. Looks like you've fought off the darkness too."
Oh. Well. Bellatrix shrugs. "I had some help. A lot of help."
Andromeda ducks sideways to stage whisper to Narcissa. "Who did it, Cissy? Who stole our sister's heart? And where are they, do I have to fight someone?"
Oh she is so ridiculous. How is she still that mischievous little girl who—
She feels Narcissa shake with a silent chuckle. Oh bloody hell. These two back together.
"Oh Andy, oh I cannot wait to see your reaction. Are you ready?"
Bellatrix rolls her eyes. "Enough with the build-up, Cissy. You're making it sound like—"
"Hermione Granger."
Andromeda seems to choke on nothing, torn between laughter and gasping shock. Well. It must be quite unexpected.
And Narcissa turns in her lap to meet Bellatrix's eye with such a wildly gleeful expression that she finds herself freezing in disbelief. She hasn't seen that expression, any full expression, on her sister's face since…
Oh the build-up was unequivocally worth it! Just look at her expression, the both of you, oh this is hysterical!
Bellatrix lets out a disbelieving laugh. Cissy is back. She's not hiding, she—
Her eyes slide to Andromeda. Whose mouth is still wide open. It is funny.
She reaches out and pushes her mouth closed. "Careful, Andy, you'll catch flies."
This seems to break Andromeda from her trance. "Hermione Granger?! Where do I begin— she's a muggleborn, she's what, sixteen years old? she's a part of the Order, she's a witch, she's best friends with Harry Potter, she's less than half your age, she—
Bellatrix shoves Narcissa off of her with a groan and clambers over her to sit next to Andy. "Okay, first of all, she's twenty-six. Time travel. That's why you're here. Secondly. Yes. She's a muggleborn and on the light side. I know. I don't care. Blood purity is fucking stupid, you know that. And thirdly, of course she's a witch. You know I…oh. Did I never tell you? How is that possible? I like witches, Andy. I don't like blokes."
Andy closes her eyes, pinches her brow, and holds up her hand. "Just. Just wait a moment for me to process this. No talking."
Bellatrix falls back next to Narcissa with a sigh. The drama.
She just lies there in comfortable silence as Narcissa starts stroking her hair.
Andromeda groans. "I do remember you telling me now. Well, not telling me, but it makes sense. There was that witch on the quidditch team you were obsessed with—"
What?! She tries to sit up, but Narcissa pulls her back down, still stroking her hair. "I was not obsessed with—"
Andromeda raises an eyebrow at her. "Really? You're sticking with the same argument almost thirty years later? That you just think she's cool because she—"
"No, obviously I wanted to fuck her. It's just—"
Andromeda reaches over her to cover Narcissa's ears. "Fuck her? Ew, Bella. You were thirteen. That's…" she hisses. And then seems to realise what she's doing and moves her hands off of Narcissa apologetically. Guess Andy can't quite believe how much time has passed either. It's so easy just to slip back into childhood…
Andy is still shaking her head. And sighs. "Am I the only straight one in the family? First Sirius, Dora of course, and now…next you'll be telling me Draco—"
Bellatrix snorts. "About Draco. Don't know if he's told you yet, Cissy, but…"
Hands freeze briefly in her hair. And then keep moving. Good. She's not going to be all straight and weird about—oh yeah. "And what do you mean the only straight one? You still have Cissy."
The hands freeze once more.
Silence.
Fucking—
She jolts up, whirling to face Narcissa. "What?! Why didn't you tell me!"
"You didn't know?!" Andromeda shouts. "Cissy, why on Earth…you said you were going to tell her! You were twelve. It's been years."
Narcissa's face is carefully blank once more. Her posture stiff. "I don't know what you are referring to, Andromeda. I certainly never said anything of the sort."
Bellatrix scans Narcissa's face. Not a shred of emotion. Not even a glimmer of—ah.
She wraps her arms around her sister. "You're safe here, Cissy. It's okay. We won't make you. I'm not cross, I'm just surprised. You don't have to tell us anything. Really."
Narcissa is still stiff. Frozen. Terrified.
She kisses her blonde head and then pulls back. "Let's talk about something else. What about…metamorphing? Hmm Andy?"
She wiggles her eyebrows at Andromeda, and then jumps to her feet. This is too exciting for sitting. And she might just put on a show. She hasn't decided yet.
She spins around on the spot, throwing her cloak off across the room and enjoying the light of the fire blurring into a solid line as the world whirls, and then stops, facing Andy.
Guilty. Fucking knew it.
Andromeda slowly shakes her head, getting to her feet too. "How did you…how long have you known?"
Bellatrix scoffs. "Nymphadora? How long have you known?"
"What on Earth are you both talking about?"
Oops. Cissy's in for a shock. Oh!
She grins wickedly at Andromeda. "What do you think? Should we get her back? She looked far too happy shocking us earlier."
Andromeda's eyes flash, walking closer. Who?
Let's show dear Narcissa her reflection
Andromeda nods. "On three. One—"
"Two…"
"Three!"
And Bellatrix fills her mind with memories of her youngest sister. Pulls every image of her face, her being, close to her. Like water.
Narcissa lets out a strangled gasp and shoots to her feet.
Worth it.
Three Narcissas in the room.
Bellatrix walks over to Andromeda, looking in her eyes curiously. And blinks away stars. Ow. Still hiding her thoughts.
She studies her face instead. "Just like her. I'm impressed. You haven't had as long to form a picture of her. Is that how you do it too? Memories?"
Andromeda shakes her head. "It's easier than that. You just…tell your magic what you want. Let it do all the work for you. You always push too hard, Bella. Just ask your magic to help you. You can be anyone. See?"
She transforms once more, and Harry Potter is stood before them in Andromeda's clothes.
Fucking weird. Now she knows how Cissy must feel.
She looks over at her other sister. Whose eyes are darting over them in fascination.
"See. I've barely even met Potter. But my brain remembers. Buried away somewhere," Andromeda shrugs.
Oh what the fu— Bellatrix flinches back. "You sound like him!"
Andromeda laughs. Potter's weird breathy laugh. "Well of course! It would be strange if it was my voice, wouldn't it? Try sounding like Cissy. Just ask your magic."
Ask? How in Salazar's name do you ask your magic for help? She always has to tell it what to do, not—
Narcissa comes towards them and darts out a hand to grab Bellatrix's face. She pulls back just in time. "Ah! Cissy! What the—"
"Ssh, Bella. I'm just checking. Stay still. Andromeda, transform into me again." She reaches forwards once more, and Bellatrix lets her.
Narcissa grips her chin and turns Bellatrix's head side to side firmly, and then lets go. Whirls around to face Andromeda and takes her face in her hands.
"Bloody hell, Cissy. Retract the claws. What are you—ah! Don't!"
What?!
Narcissa has undone the clasp on Andromeda's robes and is looking under her shirt. At her chest.
"Cissy!" Andromeda squeals in shock.
"It doesn't make sense! How in Merlin's name does your magic know— I last saw you when I was thirteen. How does your magic know what my breasts look like? It's just impossible it—"
She spins around and heads towards Bellatrix, who hurriedly jumps backwards out of reach on a chair. No sister near her tits, thank you very much. Even if they are…well…not exactly hers.
How did she imagine…what about…
She doesn't want to know. Magic can be fucking weird sometimes, she has to admit. Creepy. Knows too much.
Narcissa's shoulder raises as if to grab her. Bellatrix hops back again onto a dining chair.
"You can do it too, Cissy! We all can. It's in our blood. Blacks," she hurriedly calls out, stepping backwards onto the table.
Narcissa stops in her tracks. Thank Merlin for that.
And folds her arms, raising an eyebrow.
"How?"
"Well? How. Tell me. No more secrets."
Bellatrix glances at Andromeda, unsure. Everything? All at once? It might be a bit much…
Let's start with the metamorphing, and get into the merpeople later. I still want to know how you know
How I know? How do you know! They didn't know about us. How the hell would you—
I only met Pronoe. Nobody else. We kept it a secret
Pronoe? The far thinking, cunning little—
"Well?! Don't make me read your thoughts," Narcissa snaps.
Oh.
Bellatrix transforms back to herself and then sits down on the table. How can they teach Cissy without…
"It's simple, Cissy love. We're all metamorphagi. Just tell your magic what you want," Andromeda says with a sigh, back to herself again too and pulling a chair out from under the table.
Narcissa sits down in an armchair diagonal to them both, eyes cautiously coming up to Bellatrix in question.
Bellatrix gives her a nod and a soft smile. "You've done it before, Cissy. When you were little. Decided you wanted to be a blue-eyed blonde. And you have been ever since. You're metamorphing right now."
Narcissa's eyes widen and Andromeda's head jolts up. "She's not blonde? What the hell, Bella. Really? What does she—"
"She looks like us. Like me. Same hair. Same eyes. Honest."
Narcissa's face falls blank…and then she nods sharply. "Show me."
What? She can't transform into a toddler…can she?
Narcissa lets out a breath through her nose. "Show me the memory of when I changed."
Oh. Oh no. She doesn't—
"I— I don't know if—"
"Why on Earth not? What are you hiding, Bella? Why did I change?"
No no she's going to be angry and— and. It's her fault. She has to— she didn't mean to—
A hand takes hers.
Andy. Oh it's so nice to have her back.
She pulls herself together. Clears her throat.
"Alright. Before I do I— I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I scared you. It was my fault. You…oh Cissy you looked just like me. You were so much like me and…The more I got hurt, the more they hurt me…I was already protecting Andy. But she was older. Sensible. She managed to hide away but— but you were like me. Copied me. Laughed like me. They hated the way I laughed. You needed to learn…"
She grips Andromeda's hand tightly to steady herself, and looks over at Narcissa. "That's why you don't look like us. I told you not to be like me. Screamed at you. And you…you listened. You listened to me, Cissy."
Narcissa takes her other hand with a sigh. "It's alright, Bella. It actually makes sense. And you probably did me a lot of good. Kept me safe. It's fine, truly…" Her lip curls up at the corner. "What's one more layer of disguise?"
Bellatrix huffs out a laugh, and Narcissa closes her eyes. "Fine. If you can both do it, I'm not going to be the little baby that can't keep up. You two had better try to keep up with me. I've obviously had a head start. I am awfully good at hiding."
And then Severus Snape is sat before them.
Holy fuck!
Bellatrix launches to her feet on the table. "How did you do that so fast? It took me months!"
"It took me years!" Andy growls. "That's not fair, Cissy! And why Snape? Of all the people—"
"I know Severus very well. He's a close friend. Oh. Oh I still sound like me."
Bellatrix cackles. Narcissa's voice coming out of Snape is just—
"You're friends with Snape? He's such a twat. He's always been— I mean Siri was bloody dreadful to him, but you have to admit the man is—"
"He's under a lot of pressure. Constant pressure. You wouldn't understand, Andy. He— he understands," a deep voice murmurs.
Oh. She relates to Snape? Thinks they're similar…
Bellatrix sits down again. Kicks her legs and taps her fingers so she can focus on her thoughts.
Hiding under the Dark Lord's nose. Hiding their feelings. Their thoughts. Perfectionists who are bloody weird about potions. Children who grew up in— in violence and fear. Adults, trying to protect little boys that just won't listen.
"Does he show himself to you, Cissy? Beneath the…the same as you?" she asks cautiously.
The Snape before them taps a finger to their lips. Even his mannerisms…
"No. No, we're both intelligent enough to stay hidden. Even from each other. But it's like…a knowing look. An inside joke. It's reassuring."
Andromeda clears her throat. "And uh…how close exactly…just friends? Or…"
Narcissa glares at them. Black eyes burning with disgust. "Friends. Nothing more."
Oh thank bloody fuck for that.
And…
"Has he told you about…whose side he's on?" Bellatrix asks as casually as she can.
Narcissa transforms back in a flash. "No. We don't speak of it. Do you know?"
Bellatrix slowly nods.
Narcissa stills. "Don't tell me. Please, Bella. I don't want to know. I'd really rather not—"
"You bloody well better tell us!" Andromeda says loudly, shaking Bellatrix's knee. "Everyone's been wondering for years! If you know something, then—"
"Don't, Bella. Please. He's the only friend—"
"He's on Lilly Evans' side."
There. That should satisfy both of them.
And for some reason Andromeda jolts to her feet and whirls to look at Narcissa. Who has paled and is covering her mouth in shock.
Well that's a bit dramatic. Why is—
Oh fuck.
The room goes still. Deadly still. You could hear a pin drop and—
The fire goes out. All by itself. Plunges them into complete darkness.
Oh no no no
"Lumos," Bellatrix whispers, glad that she'd added some lamps along the bookshelves despite the fire.
Oh, this is bad. She slides off the table. Gives herself some room to— just room. Just in case.
Andromeda backs away from Narcissa in terror as the cold arrives. So sharp it seems to burn, and then seeps into her muscles. A deep, aching, raw pain that makes her want to curl up and—
"We need to leave, Bella," Andromeda whispers fearfully. "We have to run. Remember last time? We—" Andy stops to take a ragged, gasping breath. The air.
It hurts. It just hurts. She wants to sink into the floor. Down into the earth. Close her eyes and never wake up.
Oh.
She slowly shakes her head. No. No it's okay. Because Cissy isn't alone. Doesn't have to do this alone.
Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds.
She shakes her head at Andromeda once more, and walks forwards instead. Fights through the darkness, and the pain, and the terrible, terrible cold. Ignores her racing heartbeat.
And kneels in front of Narcissa. Slowly taking her hands.
"It's okay, Cissy. I'm here. It's okay. You're not alone."
No response. Frozen. Even her eyes…hard like diamonds. Empty. She thinks that's what Cissy does when this happens. She's retreated too far. Hidden deep inside herself.
Bellatrix licks her dry lips and continues. "I know it hurts. But whatever you're…it's not your fault. It's okay to feel like this. The pain is horrible. But I'm still here. Andy is here. You're safe now."
She doesn't know what she's safe from. Doesn't know what's hurting her sister. Scaring her. But she knows what it's like. Those sharp-tongued demons in your ear.
Hands shift in hers. "Bella?"
Oh thank fuck. "Yes. Yes, I'm still here. I've got you. You've got me. Always."
Narcissa lets out a strangled choking sound. "She used to say that. And then she was gone."
What? Oh no. The ice clenches around her heart. Coats her lungs until they freeze up.
It's fine it's fine it's fine
Can't breathe
Someone crouches down next to her. Andy. Puts an arm around her shoulder and a hand over hers in Cissy's lap.
"She didn't mean to leave you, Cissy. And Bella's right. The pain is horrible. But she would want you to be happy. She was always happy, wasn't she? Laughing? Remember her, Cissy. The good memories."
Who are they talking about? She can't think. It's like falling into a frozen lake. Sudden, and sharp, and she still can't breathe. The dark cold is—
Oh.
Bellatrix raises her wand…and thinks about Hermione. About how much she fucking loves Hermione.
"Expecto patronum!" she gasps out.
And her dog flies from her wand. Charges around the room, tail wagging, before running back and jumping up at Bellatrix excitedly. And then pawing at Narcissa too, resting its head in her lap.
Narcissa's eyes focus ever so slightly, coming back to life. Good.
Now get on with it, Bella.
"Tiggy can you get some tea!" she shouts, getting to her feet and brushing some hair out of Narcissa's face.
Andromeda barks out a laugh. "A patronus? Bella. Bella, I didn't know you could— oh it's wonderful. That's such a good idea. Expecto Patronum!"
A dolphin appears from Andromeda's wand, whistling and clicking around them, ducking and diving playfully. A dolphin.
"Really, Andy? A dolphin? That's the sappiest, girliest—"
"Intelligent, a right laugh, and a mammal in water. Are you surprised, Kalypso?"
Her dog barks at the dolphin playfully. Begins chasing it through the air.
Bellatrix takes the bar of chocolate from Tiggy with a snort. "Just go light the fire. It's bloody freezing with Miss Icicle over here."
She pulls Narcissa to her feet with a groan, and then lifts her up bridal style, carrying the non-responsive witch over to the sofa.
"Merlin this was easier when you were four. Can you remember, Cissy? 'Carry me to bed, Bella! Quick, whilst no one's watching!' I could never say no to you."
The room glows once more in the firelight. It's comforting.
She flops onto the sofa and presses the chocolate into Narcissa's hands. "Safe and warm, little Cissy."
Andy joins them. Lifts Narcissa's legs and slips under.
Narcissa begins distractedly breaking the chocolate into pieces, and the cold eases.
Bellatrix lets out a sigh as quietly as she can. The relief. She can breathe again.
She makes eye contact with Andy.
What happened? What did I say?
Andromeda glances at Narcissa.
Cissy? Are you listening?
No response.
Andromeda swallows, and then nods.
Okay. I don't think she's…it's Lilly Evans. She was the girl. The one she liked. When they were twelve.
Oh. Oh!
Fuck, her and Snape are similar.
Bellatrix raises her eyebrows So she still…this whole time?!
I have no idea. I haven't spoken to her since, remember? Last thing I knew, Cissy was stood petrified in the third-floor bathroom, freaking out because she had a crush on a muggleborn. A gryffindor girl. Some Ravenclaw came and found me because they thought someone had actually frozen her she was so still. Cissy was a first year. She'd just been promised to Lucius once she was of age. She'd just found out about me and Ted. Eventually she confided in me. She didn't know if she should tell you. She was a child
Was Lilly Evans some kind of enchantress or something? Three people fawning all over her? Loving her for eternity?
What about…the next year? When I'd graduated and…oh. So…you left us…and then I spent all my time with the Dark Lord…and Cissy…
Andromeda glances at Narcissa. Who is quietly nibbling on some chocolate. Oh. I really hope she had Evans then. That she told her how she felt or— even if they were friends…
Friends with a muggleborn. In love with a muggleborn. Oh. Oh so she wasn't ashamed of her being a witch— it was because—
So…that's why she didn't tell me. She told you…and then you got blasted from the tree. For loving a muggleborn. And I stopped talking about you. Said I hated you. Told her not to speak to you at Hogwarts. She must have been terrified…
I wonder if anything happened or…before Potter. During Potter? An affair?! Andromeda wiggles her eyebrows.
Bellatrix rolls her eyes. Gossip. Well it…but how did she not know about Snape?
I can't figure this out. Snape had Lilly. That's what I was telling you before all this. Snape was in love with Evans. Still is. They were best friends
And did Lilly love him back?
Hmm. Well. Who knows? But she doesn't think so. Not like that.
Plus she was twelve, Bella. We don't even know if anything happened but…how did she react? When she died?
Oh. Oh she— she can't remember.
I didn't pay attention. I didn't notice I— the Dark Lord was— I was consumed with— I didn't see her. And then I was in Azkaban
Cissy was alone. Heartbroken and alone…with a baby and—
She pulls Narcissa against her tightly. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I left you Cissy. So many times. I was never there I— you've had to do so much alone, I'm sorry."
No response. Oh her heart. Oh she didn't do enough. She was supposed to protect them. No wonder Cissy is so—
"I'm here now, Cissy. I—mmph!"
A piece of chocolate is shoved in her mouth.
"Stop being a martyr, Bella. You've taken enough pain for a hundred people. Leave me to my own troubles. You're right. We're safe now and together. That's all that matters."
The chocolate is sweet and soothing on her tongue. The darkness fades away.
She looks around in the glow of the fire. Together.
She swallows. Narcissa turns to look at her.
"Thank you, Bella. I needed that. And perhaps you need to thank Miss Granger for me once you see her again. Those words seemed to come to you remarkably quickly. Easily."
Hermione.
Oh she misses her. The pull. The ache. It's not fair. Why did this have to—
Andromeda clears her throat. "Where is she? What…why am I here? Not that I— but, time travel? We all know the rules."
Narcissa pats her arm and gets up, walks over to sit in the armchair instead, and focuses intently on Bellatrix. "Tell her. Everything you told me."
Okay.
She turns to Andromeda. Takes a breath.
Here they go.
Chapter 60: Left UnsaidChapter Text
It would have been Hermione's birthday today. Well. It still is. There's a Hermione at Hogwarts right now turning seventeen. But it's not her Hermione. That one hates her. Is just a kid, busy studying.
Part of Bellatrix wants to go and see her though. Just for a few minutes. From a distance.
No. Don't. It will be too weird.
And she still has things to figure out. Like what to do about…Tonks.
When she'd told Andy that she kind of kills her daughter…
She pours a potion into Bones' mouth. She'd suggested the sleeping draught for Tonks too. It hadn't gone down well. Guess if she had a kid, she wouldn't want them to sleep for ten years either.
She snorts to herself. Her with a kid. That's a disaster waiting to happen. No, Andy's the future granny. Bellatrix is just fine with being the crazy aunt. To an orphan…
But it has to happen! She saw Hermione's memories. Tonks wasn't there! Just Andy and the baby!
Tonks is a metamorphagus. Is it possible…?
Oh, speaking of which.
She concentrates on her voice. She needs to be able to change that. Tells her magic to—
No. Ask your magic. That's what Andy said.
She finishes up with the last potion, and wanders off downstairs for breakfast. Okay, magic. Listen up. Can you please change my voice to…Hermione's. I want to hear her voice.
She doesn't feel anything. Did it work? "Hello?"
No. Still hers.
Try again. You're asking for help…so…
She focuses in. Feels out for her magic. Pulls it into her heart. Help me.
"Well? Did it— no. Still fucking me."
Ah well. Maybe her magic doesn't work like that.
She hops up onto a stool and grabs an apple.
Bella? Where are you?
Cissy!
Kitchen!
And Cissy appears. Silently. Bellatrix swears she's the only person who can apparate without even the slightest crack.
Narcissa rolls her eyes. "Why you insist on eating in here, I do not know. You have a perfectly good dining room, and—"
"And it's huge, and echoey, and cold. It's much nicer in here. Anyway, Cissy. I was going to ask. How did you get Snape's voice? How do you do it?"
Narcissa takes a seat opposite her. "It's like any magic. I imagine the result I want."
Yes! That's what— "You tell it what to do! Same as me. What was Andy on about with asking her magic—"
Narcissa chuckles. She's definitely showing more emotions since Sunday night. It's nice, but a bit of an adjustment. Still a surprise when she shows more than a hint of an expression.
"No, Bella. We don't do the same thing at all. You bash away with your magic. No precision."
"I don't bash away w—"
And Narcissa metamorphs into Bellatrix.
"Cissy! Wha—"
Narcissa stands up. Pulls out her wand and stamps her foot. "Talk to me, Cissy! Tell me! Before magic bursts out of me and I set the carpet on fire! I want my magic to work, so I'm going to make it! How dare my magic not listen to me, obey me! I know what I want, and I will get it!" she shouts, sparks flying from her wand.
And then she morphs back. Calmly sits back down in her seat. "See? That's you. Nothing at all like me."
Hmm. That is true.
"So…what do you do?"
Cissy smiles. "I visualise precisely what will happen, and it does. My magic knows I have made the correct decision, and follows along accordingly. Happily does as I say."
Bellatrix laughs. "You manipulate your own magic?"
Narcissa morphs into Draco. "It works. Pass the orange juice, Aunt Bella."
Bellatrix does, scrunching up her face. "Your own son? I don't think he'd want you…I mean…"
Narcissa morphs back. "You turned into me. It's actually interesting to…how did you balance so well in my body? Adjust to different leg lengths for example, weight distribution? Severus is stronger than me. Even gripping my wand felt…odd."
Oh. Well… "I've had some practice. And I'm used to adjusting for weight, for balance. I just do it quickly, you know that."
Cissy nods. "How did you find out about…all this? You said it took you months, but you're still new at this. Haven't altered your voice. Is this something to do with Hermione?"
Hermione. Her birthday. Her heart sinks into her stomach.
Another sad birthday. Thetis…oh she wishes they were here for this.
Should she…?
She wants to visit. Check on them. They're only an egg, but— Could she take Cissy?
She gets up with a sigh. "Alright, there's something you need to know. Andy already knows, and I guess…there's a pensieve in the upstairs study. Come on. You need to watch some of my memories."
Cissy frowns. "I can just look in your—"
"Do you want to? You'll have to go through the dark."
Narcissa falls silent. Follows her upstairs.
Narcissa pulls her head out of the pensieve and turns to stare at Bellatrix. "A mermaid?! A nymph?! Wha— and—"
Bellatrix just nods sympathetically. Yep. She remembers how crazy—
Narcissa takes a slow breath though her nose. Rubs at the back of her neck. Sits down in the office chair. And then stands up again. "I look like the queen of the— but also a king. The ruler of— god of— they looked just like me. And they— Bella they, they passed away? But reborn— a merperson will soon hatch from a golden egg…at Hogwarts…and look like me as a baby?"
Okay. Maybe this is even more bizarre for Cissy. "Did you see the one that looks like Draco? Pronoe? In their veriform. Now you know what little Draca would have looked like," she tries to joke. Make light of the…weirdness.
Narcissa blinks. Sits back down. "Yes. Yes, that was…so…ancient and noble. Do we not have records of this? Why? We have the words. We all know the words."
Bellatrix spins Narcissa's chair as she thinks. "Tiggy knows something. Third decree of the House of Black that no elf speak of—ah! Okay, I'll stop. Wand down!"
She ducks a jinx and stills the chair. Walks over to look out the window. "Do you want to go? To the lake? Tiggy could take us. You could borrow Hermione's wetsuit. It's a—"
"I know what a wetsuit is, Bella."
Oh.
She turns around. "You do?"
Narcissa adjusts the hemline of her skirt and clears her throat. "Yes. I saw your memory of them…and have observed this kind of outfit before. Muggles use them in place of warming charms in cold water. And as added protection. Especially when engaging in…water…games…sports. That's the word. Water sports."
Bellatrix just stares. And stares. Narcissa raises an eyebrow. "Yes?"
Uhh…what the fuck is happening? Cissy knows about…muggle things? When did—
Lily Evans. Oh. Is that— should she mention her? No. No that would be bad. "You…know about muggles? I mean about…pens. And…the moving boxes with the—"
"Televisions," Narcissa says very calmly, enjoying her confusion way too much. "They're called televisions. So, Hermione didn't tell you. I wasn't sure. I had left her some hints to keep it from you, just one last test. It seems she's passed once more."
Didn't tell her? Oh!
She studies Narcissa more carefully. "That was what you talked about?! Muggle things? That's the secret? What buttons? She was talking about buttons." Hmm, Cissy isn't wearing any buttons. She thought it could refer to her shirt or—
Narcissa holds out her arm.
What?
Is that a muggle handshake or— what is that?!
She moves across the room and grabs Cissy's arm. It looks like a watch but— what is it made of? And there's no hands. And strange— ah! A light. A light in a watch? How does— eleven equals twenty-three. What does— eleven twenty-three! Twenty-four! The numbers move?! What is this—
"Bella! You're going to pull my arm off! And stop messing with all the settings, I only just managed to—"
A strange high-pitched sound comes from the watch. And again. And— is it a warning?! She manages to pull it off of Cissy and throw it across the room, aiming her wand at it.
And Cissy bursts out laughing. Cackling.
What the bloody fucking—
Is this a dream? Did she not wake up this morning?
"Oh, oh Bella you— Oh I forgot how little you know. What it's like to— oh Salazar—!"
Bellatrix casts a silencio at the still ringing watch, and stomps over to Cissy. It must not be dangerous if she's finding it so…
So funny.
She smiles at Narcissa. Crouches in front of her and watches her laugh. It's so nice to see her laugh.
Cissy slowly gets herself under control. Wipes some tears from her eyes. Accios the watch towards her.
And clears her throat. "It emits a sound to mark a certain point or length of time. You activated a timer. I use it for my potions."
Oh.
Hmm. "Do you think that's why Hermione was sent back? Did she have a…timer? Is that why Fawkes took her?"
Narcissa casts a spell to buckle the watch back onto her wrist, and then reaches out to stroke Bellatrix's cheek. "Perhaps. Although it seems the phoenix took her not long after it healed her. It may be that had she not gone to it for help…well. There's no way to know what happened. Unless we find a way to speak with a bird. I'll have to search my library for references to phoenixes. Or avian languages. Communicating with animals. You didn't find anything in yours?"
She shakes her head sadly. Hermione read everything about phoenixes. There wasn't a bird language.
It's pulling again. The thread. A terrible loss. Almost…sore. Throbbing.
She puts her head in Cissy's lap. Feels a hand rest on her head. Remembers to breathe.
"Oh Bella. I wish I could fix this. I know what…but Hermione is alright. If— if she's in the future, then she'll be with you, won't she? Because we're going to save you. Andy and I. We'll save you, and then whatever happens, when Hermione arrives in the future, you'll be right there waiting for her. She won't be alone for a second."
Oh. That's right. As long as she survives…
Nine years without Hermione?
She looks up at Cissy. "I don't think I'll be able to stand it. Waiting that long to see her. I can't stop thinking about her."
Narcissa looks away. Stares off into the distance. "And you never will. You'll never stop. But it will get easier."
She looks back down at Bellatrix. Laughter gone. Pale. "She's still alive, Bella. Hermione is still alive."
Bellatrix lies her head back down. Lets Cissy comfort her. Tries not to think about Hermione. About Lily Evans.
Bellatrix pulls another book towards herself. So if Fawkes took Hermione…is it Fawkes who sends her back in time to start with?
But Hermione was at the Ministry, not Hogwarts. Will Bellatrix have to kidnap Dumbledore's bloody bird and…oh.
Oh where does Fawkes go after Dumbledore dies? He'd better not just flap off and—what the fu—!
Hands on her throat.
Stupefy! Expelliarmus! She spins around and—oh.
Oops. Andy.
Bellatrix clears her throat. "Rennervate."
Andromeda gasps to life on the floor. "What the bloody— it was a hug, Bella! What is wrong with— you're so fast…Tell me how to do that!"
Bellatrix reaches down a hand and helps her up. "You tell me how you always sneak up like that. Do you have a permanent muffiliato on yourself?"
Andromeda bites her lip in consideration. And then leans in. "Featherlight charm. Lighter footsteps. No sound."
Oh! Bellatrix casts the charm on herself with a grin. Whoa! That feels…too strange. Like she's weak. Lightheaded.
Andy snorts. "Yeah, takes some getting used to. So? How were you so fast?"
Hmm? Oh. She steps up onto the sofa. So weird. "Overlap. Plan a few moves ahead."
Andy frowns up at her. "What do you mean? What does that— overlap?"
She freezes mid-step. She could tell her.... But…
She…
She cancels the featherlight charm and jumps off the sofa. She needs to be grounded for this. Steady.
She turns her back on Andy. Like a coward. Walks over and pokes the fire. "Andy…why…"
Say it. Just say it. "Why didn't you…come back? All this time and…I needed you. You saw what I was like. What— couldn't you see I'd—I'm so angry at you, Andy! You left me."
Silence from behind her. Of course. Andy always hides from confrontation. From responsibility.
She turns around. Still there. Didn't run away.
Andy runs a hand through her hair. "Fuck. Okay, time for this. Right. So…do you want to hit me or something? Because I deserve it. I know I was young but— no. Sorry. Another excuse."
Bellatrix groans. "It's not about when you were young! We were all young, we made some shit decisions. You didn't do anything wrong, you were a kid! You got away! I'm not angry about that. I'm angry because— because even after Hogwarts you just– just left me to spiral! I lost who I was…and you know me. You know I never wanted to hurt anyone. Did you think—"
Andy sits down in a random armchair. Rests her head in her hands as she stares at a spot on the floor. "I should have— you're right. You're right, I should have come and— but I was too scared. I just…pushed you out of my mind. Hid away. Like I always did."
She looks up at Bellatrix. "First I told myself it was because I had a baby. Had to put Dora first. Make sure she was safe. Then…before I knew it, it had been years, and I was too ashamed to contact you. I'd let you down. And— and you weren't in control. I had friends in the Order. They said no one— no one survived a battle with you. I thought— that if you hated me—"
Bellatrix sits down on the floor by the fire. The warmth at her back a comfort as she takes in what Andy is saying. "You thought I would have…hurt you? Killed you?" She whispers. Would she? Could she ever hurt Andy? She had before…
Andy walks over to her. Sits down next to her and reaches her arm around her shoulder. It's more comforting than the fire. Warmer. "I don't know what would have happened, Bella. Because I didn't even try. And I should have tried. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for— can we please be sisters again? I missed you. I know I don't deserve forgiveness, that this doesn't fix anything. But I promise I won't leave again, Bella. I promise."
Bellatrix leans against her. Lets Andromeda hold her. "You'd better fucking not, Andy. You'd better not leave. I've had enough of people leaving. It hurts."
Andy kisses her head. "I won't. I'm here now. Promise."
Promise. Does she mean that? She'd thought Andromeda always kept her promises too. Before.
"And…you don't hate me? For all the things I've done? For all the people I— so many—" Bellatrix croaks.
She hurt people. Killed people. Muggles are people. She pretended they weren't, but…
She can still— she tries not to but— the darkness. The screams. The—
And the war. She'd started a war. All of the…all that pain and violence. Because of her. Years of planning…
Andy pulls back. Looks at her. Really looks at Bellatrix.
Bellatrix looks away. She can't stand it. Watches the fire instead. Jiggles her leg, so there's somewhere for this guilty feeling to go.
Andy sighs. "I can't say it doesn't…scare me. Make me angry. For all the people that got hurt. All the things— but, no, Bella. I'm not angry at you. I'm just so— so frustrated that it all happened like it did. It's so unfair. You tried to do everything right for us. And then He had to come along and— and get in your head, backing up all that bullshit that we'd been drowning in our whole lives. I know you think I never believed— but I almost did. They nearly got to me too with all the pureblood…but I had some space to think. To breathe. You protected me…so I had that spark left to take one last risk. Learn about muggles. They didn't pay as much attention to me. Middle child. I managed to hide." She snorts. "That's me. Hidden away. Story of my life."
Bellatrix lets out a huff of laughter. Not the happiest laugh, but what else is there to do? She glances sideways at Andy. "Maybe you're Kalypso. Or Cissy, she's better at hiding than both of us combined."
Andy shuffles around in front of her. Grabs her hands. "I'm so fucking glad I can finally talk about this nymph thing! I have so many theories. We are all good at hiding, aren't we? I think we're all Kalypso. All three of us. Even Siri was pretty good at— Or maybe Dora too, what about Draco? Is he good at hiding? I couldn't figure out at first how you were hiding, you never hide, Bella. But now it makes sense! Secretly going against Voldemort and—"
Bellatrix shudders at the name. Fear and anger and shame melding into nausea in her stomach.
Andy snaps her mouth shut. "Oh. Sorry. Was that…what do you call him?"
Bellatrix shrugs. "It's fine. Normally just Him. The Dark Lord, just out of habit and if I'm around other Death Eaters. But also…"
She leans in to grin at Andy. "Hermione told me his real name is Tom Riddle. He's a half-blood. I call him that sometimes. Or an old coot."
Andy grins back. But only for about a second, before it falters. Tears fill her eyes. And she pulls Bellatrix into a hug. Holds her tight.
Oh.
Bellatrix squeezes her back. Holds her. Let's all the unspoken…the relief. The sadness. The loss. Something lost…finally returned. But never returned. Not really.
But at least she's back now. Right here. Breathing and alive and right here. She did it. She protected her sisters. They all survived.
Bellatrix pulls back. Wipes at her eyes. "It's Hermione's birthday today."
Andy wipes at her own face. Shakes her head with a smile. "I know. Saw her opening some presents at breakfast."
What?!
"What— when— why—?"
Andy's smile widens into a full out grin. "I was at Hogwarts this morning. In fact, I'm at Hogwarts almost every morning. And I'd better be getting back. Afternoon classes."
After— what?
Andromeda nudges her. "I'll see you later. And Cissy too. I can't believe how much she's grown up! I can't wrap my head around it. And we definitely need to talk about this Lily Evans thing at some point. I'm dying of curiosity. But anyway. I'm gonna be late."
She kisses Bellatrix's cheek, and gets to her feet. Apparates away with a wink.
What? What the fuck—
Why do both of her sisters have to be so secretive!