Average height, average salary, painfully average dreams—nothing about me had ever been special. Nothing ever would be.
Until that fucking truck decided "average" wasn't allowed to make it home tonight.
I was dead.
That bastard driver slammed into me like I'd personally fucked his wife and laughed about it. What the hell did I ever do to him? Tonight of all fucking nights… My favorite pornstar had just dropped her brand-new video, and I'd been planning to lock the door, lube up, and jerk off until my wrist gave out.
Instead, I'm roadkill.
Just my goddamn luck.
Instead of sweet nothingness or whatever the fuck comes after death, my mind stayed wide fucking awake.
What the hell is next? Did I actually just get isekai'd?
Dropped into another world like those degenerate novels I read at 3 a.m.? Medieval fantasy packed with magic, swords, and thick elf bitches? Or a sci-fi futuristic shithole full of neon lights and chrome-plated sluts? Honestly, I'd take either right now—no questions asked.
But then panic hit like the truck all over again.
Wait… how the fuck is my consciousness still alive? Holy shit, I'm floating in some endless black void! Ohh motherfucker, somebody get me out of here! Heaven, hell itself, reincarnation, I don't care—just GET ME THE FUCK OUT!
I stayed trapped in that godforsaken void for who-knows-how-long, the silence and emptiness crushing me nonstop. No body. No sound. No escape. Time didn't even exist here.
And I was slowly, painfully getting sick of it.
I was so fucking sick of that endless black nothing… when suddenly everything snapped.
I opened my eyes and found myself staring at a thatched ceiling, warm sunlight leaking through cracks in the wooden walls.
What the actual fuck?
I sat up fast. I was lying on a lumpy straw bed inside a tiny, simple hut. Down at my body: plain off-white linen shirt, rough brown pants, and a pair of basic leather slippers sitting right beside the bed. I shoved my feet into them, heart already jackhammering.
Holy shit… I'm finally out of that godforsaken void.
I stood up on shaky legs, pushed open the creaky door, and stepped outside.
Fresh air slammed into my face like a goddamn blessing. Spread out in front of me was a peaceful, picturesque medieval village — thatched roofs, dirt paths winding between wooden fences, a little central well, the whole beginner-village starter-pack vibe. Exactly like every isekai novel I used to read while jerking off at 3 a.m.
But the real jaw-dropper was the people strolling around like it was the most normal thing in the world.
Humans, obviously — farmers, merchants, kids running around. Graceful high elves with long pointed ears and flawless skin that made my dick twitch just looking at them. Stocky dwarves with thick braided beards and hammers slung over their shoulders. Cheerful halflings barely reaching my waist, laughing and smoking pipes. And best of all… beastkin. Cat-eared girls with twitching tails and tight little outfits, seductive fox girls with fluffy ears and swaying hips, even a couple of bunny girls with long floppy ears and bouncy… assets.
This world?
This world was going to be fucking paradise.
I was still standing there gawking at every cat-eared, fox-tailed, and bunny-assed beauty strutting by when a mocking thought hit me.
Wait… do I have some kind of system panel?
The second the thought formed, a glowing blue screen materialized right in front of my eyes.
"Holy shit—!"
I almost yelled it out loud in the middle of the goddamn village, but my inner voice slammed me hard: Dude, calm the fuck down. You were literally stuck in that endless black void for who-knows-how-long. This right here is your compensation. Don't fuck it up.
I took a deep breath and finally chilled the hell out.
Looking at the panel… it was pretty fucking basic.
Status Name: —
Occupation: Mage
Age: 20
Level: 0
Experience: 0/100
HP: 100/100
MP: 80/80
Hmm… pretty basic.
I swiped the panel sideways.
Skills • Fireball (Level 1)
MP Cost: 15
Cooldown: 8 seconds
Fireball? Nice as fuck… but I still had no clue how to actually use it.
I swiped again and opened the Skill Tree.
There was a little + sign next to Fireball Level 1. The instant I tapped it, a massive flood of knowledge poured straight into my brain — the mana circulation, the exact hand gestures, the chant, the burning sensation of compressing fire in my palm. It all slammed in like I'd been casting it for years.
The panel updated right away:
Fireball – Level 1
Experience: 0/100
MP Cost: 15
Cooldown: 8 seconds
Wait… I have to cast this shit 100 times just to level it up? Oh my fucking God.
Then, on the left side of the panel, a glowing message box appeared:
"Here is your compensation. Every 10 levels you will receive 3 skill options so you can choose your fighting style — frontline, control type, or whatever you want.
This is goodbye, kid. Take care."
The message faded away and vanished completely.
The glowing panel blinked out, leaving me standing in the middle of the village like an idiot, villagers giving me weird side-eyes.
Ah shit… where the hell should I go now?
My inner voice instantly answered: Dude, we have to register at the Adventurer Guild — whatever the fuck that thing is called.
Oh yeah… you're right. Let's fucking go, baby.
I spotted a stocky, bearded dwarf with a massive ale mug still in his hand, looking friendly enough. I jogged over.
"Excuse me, sir — where can I find the Adventurer Guild?"
The dwarf looked me up and down, bushy eyebrows shooting up. "Kid, what's yer name? Can't be sendin' a nameless greenhorn to the guild, now can I?"
Name? My name? I froze for half a second. The panel never showed one — guess I get to pick it myself. Nice.
I straightened up, planted my feet, crossed my arms, and gave him my coolest, most badass smirk.
"Oh, my name is Kai Ashford."
The dwarf grinned wide, flashing gold-capped teeth, and threw me a big thumbs-up. "Kai Ashford, eh? Got a nice ring to it, lad! Sounds like a proper adventurer already."
He puffed out his chest and slammed a fist against his barrel-like belly. "Name's Grom Ironbelly — but everyone calls me Grom the Loudmouth 'cause I never shut me trap and I sing dwarven drinking songs at the top of me lungs after three mugs! Hah!"
He pointed down the main dirt road with his free hand. "Guild's easy to find. Head straight past the well, take the left fork at the big oak tree, follow the smell of ale and sweat till ye see the big wooden sign with a sword and shield on it. Can't miss it — loudest building in the village after me own mouth!"
I memorized every word, gave him a grateful nod. "Thanks, Grom. Appreciate it."
"No problem, Kai lad! Go make some coin — and some memories, if ye know what I mean!" He winked, then bellowed a laugh that made half the street turn around.
I waved. "See ya around!"
"Safe travels, Kai Ashford! And don't die on yer first day!"