"Hmm, which story should I choose? How about my childhood? My childhood was all about books. I spent my days reading, reading everything in the library, whether it was academic material, history, literature, or documentaries. I didn't get to go out and play much. What about Jay? What about you?"
"Me?" Jay rolled his eyes, looking thoughtful."Stay with my mother"
"Are you always with your mother?"
Jay nodded.
"Do you want to go to school?"
Jay shook his head.
"Okay, shall we move on to the topic of nationality? Actually, I've been wondering for a while because you look so much like a foreigner. I'm pure Thai; both my father and mother are Thai. What about you?"
"My father is Scottish, my mother is Thai."
"I knew it. So you're half-Thai, half-Scottish." I nodded. "Half Scottish. Shall I ask about your name? My nickname is Dan Nuea. When I studied abroad, my friends called me Dan, Danny, or Daniel. My real name is Natthakan Phatthawatin."
"Jayden McKay"
"Oh, your last name. Macney is mostly from Scotland, isn't it? Is it spelled with M-A-C or just MC?"
"Just an MC."
"Where did the names come from? My siblings' name was chosen to resemble the month of winter because we were both born in January, which is a cold month. One of the twins is named Duean Nao (meaning 'Cold Month'). Mom then thought of another similar name, Dan Nuea (meaning 'Northern Land')."
"Ah, my father's name is Aiden, my mother's name is Jane. If you take the 'J' from Jane and combine it with Aiden, you get Jayden."
"What a lovely origin for the name," I said. The idea of combining the father's and mother's names created something incredibly lovely. "It truly shows that you were born surrounded by the love of your father and mother."
"If that's the case, I should probably just be called Jay."
"Hmm? Just the letter J, you mean?"
"Yes"
I paused. Does that mean...?
Jay must be having some kind of problem with his father, which is why he doesn't want "Aiden" in his name. "Should I just call you Jay?"
He looked puzzled.
"We can tell people to call us by a certain name.Anywhere is fine."
"Call me Jayden, but Dan calls me Jay. It's okay, Jay is like, J.A.Y."
"Why?"
"Mom and Dad also call me Jay."
"Ah," I smiled, "there are only a few people who can call you Jay."
"Yes"
"May I ask why?"
"My mom always emphasized," Jay replied, "that my name is Jayden, a combination of my parents' names. I was born from my parents' love. My parents would shorten it to Jay, like J.A.Y., but everyone else had to call me Jayden."
I immediately frowned in suspicion. "Mom emphasized...Always?"
Jay nodded.
"What if other people call you Jay?"
"No, Mom said I have to tell them Jayden."
"Hmm," I regrouped my thoughts. His mother always emphasized that he should be called Jayden, a name that came from receiving love from his parents, but he says he should just be called Jay, without "Aiden," meaning he feels unloved by his father. However, his mother insists on the name. Does his mother even realize the problems between Jay and his father?
Why emphasize the name so much?
"Um, could we talk about family?" I decided to ask, starting to wonder what Jay's family was like and if he had any unresolved issues. "I'll share my part of the story as well."
"..." Jay was silent.
"We don't have to talk about this."
"I want to know about Dan."
"Hmm?" I raised an eyebrow. "How about this? I'll tell you my story, and you can tell me only what you want to tell."
"It's not fair to Nuea."
"Consider it a debt you owe me. Tell me about it later when you are ready."
Jay nodded.
I started telling him about my family, how my parents fell in love, how my father passed away when I was fourteen, all the problems we faced, and how lucky we were to be saved by Tiger. Jay frowned throughout the story.
"Was Nuea once kidnapped to pay off a debt?"
"Hmm, Tiger didn't tell me the details. I think so."
"..."
"Why?"
"It was awful," Jay said, and that was it. "It's good that Nuea didn't have to go through that."
"Hmm, so what story did you want to tell?"
"I used to live in a mansion on the mountain, surrounded by a flower garden that my mother planted herself. I don't know how my parents fell in love...or if they even loved each other at all."
"..."
"But I think Mom loved Dad very much," Jay said in a flat voice, yet the sadness in his eyes was clear. "Dad said he loved Mom too, but Nuea said that you have to look at actions to judge a person; words alone aren't always reliable. So I don't know if he really loved Mom. They got married, but Nuea said that people getting married doesn't always mean they love each other."
I nodded, listening intently.
"Nuea,"
"Huh?"
"People who love each other should wish each other well, right?"
"Yes"
"Did they have to hurt each other?"
"..."
"Did he have to cut her Achilles tendon so she couldn't escape?" Jay said, his voice trembling, his eyes red and teary. "But he said it was because he loved and was so protective of Mom that he had to do this. What does that mean, Nuea?"
I straightened up, pulled him into my embrace, gently stroked his head, and bit my lip hard in pain. My heart ached, and I couldn't breathe properly.
"Nuea, can you answer me? Did Dad really love Mom?"
I was speechless. I could only hug and comfort him. Jay hugged me back just as tightly, his whole body trembling like never before. I thought he was going to cry, but he didn't. After a while, we let go of each other. I looked at him with concern.
"Jay, if you want to cry, you can." I said, looking at him sincerely. "No one will hurt you, not even your father. I promise."
Jay didn't answer, he only nodded.
"Thank you for trusting me and telling your story. It must have been hard for you to talk about this."
"Yes."
I decided not to ask any more about his past, feeling that it was enough for now.
"Can I tell the doctor about this?"
Jay shook his head.
"Alright, I won't tell anyone."
"Okay."
I stroked his head again. "I love you, Jay. People who hurt you and say they love you are not sincere. People who love you hug you, take care of you, and want you to be happy every day."
Jay didn't answer, he just let me hold him in silence. I could smell his soft scent from the warmth of his body. This child had suffered a lot, and I would take care of him.
"I can hear your heartbeat."
I smiled. "Yes, I can hear yours too. Because we're close."
"Yes."
We hugged for a while before letting go. Jay said it was time for me to rest.
"Dan, you need to rest."
"Alright," I nodded, understanding. After all, he had brought me to the room to rest.
"What about you?"
"I'm going out."
"Why?"
"Because I'm not wearing my watch. I shouldn't be in this room alone with you,"
Jay said in his usual neutral tone.
I frowned. "It's okay."
"It's for your safety."
"You're not dangerous to me."
"You might get into trouble," Jay said. "Close the door. I'll wait outside."
"Outside? In front of the door?"
"Yes."
"You can't do that, this is your room. I'm not going to stay inside while you wait outside. I'll just go home to rest."
"You need to rest now. What if something happens on the way?"
"Jay," I called out, sighing. "What if I feel unwell while sleeping? Who will help me?"
Jay was silent for a moment. "You should stay and take care of me."
He frowned, thinking. "But I..."
"It's okay."
"Alright," he said, stepping back inside. I walked to the large bed in the room. The bed was comfortable. The gym really took good care of its boxers. His room was fully equipped, and the food Jay bought was also healthy.
"What will you do while I rest?"
"I'll watch over you from here," Jay said, sitting on the floor beside the bed. "Just in case something happens to you."
"Umm, I don't think I can sleep like this," I admitted. "You can sit on the chair and read a book."
Jay shook his head.
"Or watch TV," I suggested, remembering that the TV and sofa weren't too far from the bed.
Jay still shook his head.
"It's okay," I said, having no other choice. I didn't want him waiting outside. I forgot how much he cared about me. "Don't worry, Jay. I'm not that bad. I don't want you to wait outside."
"Alright," Jay nodded.
"Are you still planning to stay here?"
"Yes."
"You can bring a chair or sit on the bed so you won't feel uncomfortable," I suggested. Jay brought a chair beside the bed.
"Dan, rest."
"Okay," I lay down, feeling his gaze constantly focused on me. Honestly, I felt a little tense, but soon I fell asleep.
When I woke up, Jay was still there, holding my wrist. I asked in a sleepy voice.
"What are you doing?"
"Checking your pulse."
"Ah," I nodded. "What time is it?"
"Four-thirty."
"I've slept enough," I mumbled. "I think it's time for me to go."
"Do you feel better?"
"Yes, I feel better. Thank you for taking care of me. It must have been troublesome for you."
"It's not a problem."
"What will you do now?"
"I won't do anything," Jay said. "There's no training on Sundays."
"Alright," I talked with Jay a little longer before calling Tiger to send a driver to pick me up.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
I arrived home around five. I sent a message to Jay that I had arrived safely. I sat with everyone at home, waiting for dinner. I frowned when I saw Great, a boxer, continuously sending messages. I ignored it for a while and sent a message to the doctor.
[Dan]: I talked to Jay today.
[Dan]: He said he doesn't want to see the doctor or tell his story.
[Dan]: I'm sorry.
[TonFah]: It's okay.
[TonFah]: It has to be Jayden's own decision.
[TonFah]: If you have any questions or need advice, please contact me.
[Dan]: Thank you.
I exited the chat with the doctor and finally replied to Great's messages.
[Great]: Good afternoon, Dan.
[Great]: Did you eat anything delicious today?
He kept sending me messages. I decided to just ask directly.
[Dan]: Great, I have to apologize.
[Dan]: I don't understand why you keep messaging me.
[Dan]: I thought the issue with Jay was resolved.
[Dan]: Or is there something else?
[Great]: Dan, asking directly like that... I guess I should also be straightforward.
[Great]: I'm very impressed with you, Dan.
[Great]: You were so worried when I fainted. You called me to make sure I was okay.
[Great]: You are an amazing person.
[Great]: I want to get to know you better.
[Dan]: Oh, I see.
[Dan]: Would you like to be my friend?
[Great]: If it could be more than that, that would be even better.
[Dan]: I think I should explain something…
[Great]: Why are you so cold, Dan? 😭
[Dan]: I don't want to waste your time. I'm asking you to stop.
[Dan]: I'm so busy that I don't have time for anything else.
[Great]: Busy with work?
[Dan]: Yes, and other things.
[Great]: Then you need someone to take care of you.
[Dan]: Don't worry.
[Dan]: I can take care of myself.
[Dan]: I hope you understand. Thank you.
[Great]: Dan 😭
[Great]: You won't even give me a chance?
[Dan]: No.
[Great]: 😭😭😭
He sent me crying stickers, but I ignored them and exited the chat. I was never interested in love, and now with so much work and taking care of Jay, I couldn't open myself up to someone else. Suddenly, Nao appeared behind me, looking at my phone curiously. I handed it to him.
"Why are you giving it to me?"
"Don't you want to see it? Tell the truth."
"I thought it was something secret," Nao grimaced and took the phone. "Mom! Dan just got confessed to and rejected someone again!"
"What?" Mom, who was cooking, immediately turned around while wiping her hands.
"What happened?"
"Dan was cold again," Nao said.
"Did you keep your dignity?"
"You think that helps?" Nao frowned.
"I don't know, but it's better than being rude. That's what I think," she answered while nodding.
"What chat is this?" She pointed.
"This is Dr. TonFah," Nao said. "Jayden's psychiatrist."
"Oh. Can I see his picture?" Nao showed her the screen.
"He's handsome, and so is his partner," because the doctor's profile picture was with his partner. Tiger said his name was TyPhoon, if I remembered correctly.
"I already know his partner," Nao said.
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah, we went to the same university. TyPhoon is North's friend, and TonFah is Phi Johan's friend, North's partner," Nao said. "I think they have a child."
"Ah," Mom nodded. Fai came closer, interested.
"You mean Uncle North?" Fai asked. "When is he visiting? I miss him."
Fai really liked North, maybe more than Nao's other friends, because North always told funny stories. But he lived far away and rarely visited.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
After dinner, we continued chatting until Fai had to go to bed. Tiger was going to read him a bedtime story tonight. Mom also went to sleep, and Nao invited me for a walk in the garden while talking.
"When you rejected Great, you said you were busy and had other things to do. Did you mean Jayden?"
"Yeah."
"When do you think you'll stop worrying about Jayden? Something like: 'He's grown up, he can live on his own, I don't need to worry too much anymore.'"
"Oh." At first, I thought it would take a long time to stop worrying about him, but after hearing Jay's story today, it felt like I would never stop. "I don't know, Nao. The more I learn about his story, the more I don't want to leave him alone. Maybe until Jay finds someone who truly loves him, gets married, and has kids, then I can feel at ease."
"Will you be forty years old by then?"
"Maybe," I smiled. "I'll be forty, Fai will be twenty-one, old enough. No more worries about grandkids, or Jay. If possible, I'll keep working with kids. If not, I'll retire to take care of the garden and dogs at home. I'll be the grandpa waiting to take care of Fai's and Jay's kids. Not bad."
"What about marriage?"
"It's never crossed my mind, really. I don't know why. While you'll have kids, I've never had a partner, I've never fallen in love or loved someone in that way."
"Seriously, you should've had a partner before me. You were always chased by so many people. I only had Tiger, who fell for me, and we ended up getting married."
"You reject everyone."
"Huh?" Nao looked at me. "My fault? No, they were too flirty. I was just filtering them for you."
"I'm joking," I smiled. "I like a peaceful life like this. But seriously, I'm curious about what it feels like to fall in love."
"I want to see you with a partner. I'm really curious how you'd be, if you'd get jealous."
"Haha, yeah."
After talking for a bit, we went to our respective rooms. I took a shower and got ready for bed. It was nine at night, and Jay usually slept at ten. I decided to send him a message.
Dan: Are you asleep yet?
Jayden: Not yet.
Jayden: Dan.
Dan: Yeah?
Jayden: Dan.
Dan: What's up?
Jayden: Dan.
I frowned, confused. I decided to make a video call. Jay answered after a moment. He looked like he was on the balcony, wearing a black T-shirt. Maybe he had already showered and was getting ready for bed too.
"What's wrong?"
[Dan.] Jay stared at me without blinking.
"Jay, what's the matter?"
[I don't know,] Jay answered. [In my mind... there's only Dan.]
"Really?"
[I don't know, but all I think about is Dan, Dan, Dan, and your face is everywhere.]
I laughed, feeling amused. "You want to see me that much?"
[Yeah.]
"A lot?"
[I don't know.]
"I'll come over now, do you want me to?"
[Yeah,] he answered immediately, then hesitated. [No, you're not fully okay yet.]
"Hahaha, that's so funny," I grinned. "That means you miss me."
"Oh... maybe."
"What are you doing?" I already knew the answer, but I asked anyway.
[Looking at roses,] Jay replied. [And you?]
"I'm about to sleep," I said as I lay down. "You have training tomorrow, right?"
[Yeah.]
"I have work too."
[Work?]
"Yeah."
[Why work?]
"To make money."
[Money,] Jay repeated the word. [Dan works so hard that he gets sick just to make money?]
"Yeah."
[Ryan said if I box and win, I'll get money. If I keep winning, I'll get even more.]
"Yeah."
[I'll give it to you so you don't have to work.]
"No," I refused immediately. "You can't. You have to keep it."
[Why?]
"It's your money. You can't just give it to me. You train hard every day. You have to save it."
[It's my money?]
"Yeah."
[So I can do whatever I want with it.]
"Yeah."
[Alright, I want to give it to Dan.]
"No," I repeated. "Next time, I'll take you to the bank to open an account. Save your money there, and then we'll see what you can do with it. I'll teach you how to use it and save it."
[Alright.]
"Did Ryan say when your first match is?"
[He said in a month.]
"Wow, I'm happy for you," I said. "You have to maintain your weight."
[Yeah.]
"Good luck. Let me know when your match is scheduled so I can make time to support you."
[Alright.]
"Then I'll sleep now. Good night, Jay."
[Good night.]
"Oh, Jay. If I don't text you or suddenly disappear like last time, you can call me anytime."
[Ok.]
I ended the call and went to sleep.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
I woke up early in the morning, not because of my alarm, but because of a call from Jay. I answered half-awake.
[Dan.]
"Yeah?"
[I'm awake and going for a run.]
"Oh? It's still really early."
[Yeah.]
Then he hung up. I stared at the screen, confused, and went back to sleep. Later, during breakfast, I got another call from Jay.
[Dan.]
"Yeah?"
[I'm having breakfast.]
"I'm eating too."
[Ok.]
He hung up again. While I was on my way to work, another call came from Jay in the morning.
[Dan.]
"What's up?"
[I'm taking a break from training.]
"That's good, I'm at work."
[Ok.]
And he hung up again... At lunch, another call from Jay.
[Dan.]
"Yeah."
[I'm having lunch.]
"I'm eating too."
[Ok.]
He hung up...What is going on? In the afternoon, another call from Jay.
[Dan.]
"Yeah?"
[I'm taking a break from training.]
"I'm at work."
[Ok.]
"Wait," I said, but he hung up before I could ask. I couldn't call back because I was busy working. On my way home, another call came from Jay.
[Dan.]
"Is something wrong? You've been calling me all day."
[You said I could call.]
"Yeah, but..."
[I finished training.]
"I just got off work too."
[Ok.]
"Wait," I stopped him. "Why have you been calling all day? You can't just tell me what you're doing and then hang up immediately."
[Is that not allowed?]
"No."
[Why not?]
"It's confusing."
[I'm worried about whether Dan is still alive.]
"What do you mean?"
[I'm afraid something might happen to you. And also... I miss you.]
I couldn't help but smile. "I miss you too. I'll come see you tomorrow afternoon."
[No, Dan is not fully okay yet.]
"I'm feeling much better now."
[Really?]
"Yeah."
[Then come. I'll be waiting for you.]
"Haha, alright."