Chapter 1: HOLSTEIN
[YOU HAVE DIED!]
[WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF HOLSTEIN!]
"Well shit. Those crazy gods weren't just talking up their asses."
I looked around and found myself in a room I didn't recognize. Lying on a soft bed with velvet sheets.
After getting up from the bed I looked around and touched everything.
I couldn't help it! As a man from the future I had only heard of such stuff in history books! Candles, a glass mirror, WOOD!
"Wow, is this what they call mahogany?"
It was in fact, not mahogany.
Just when I patted myself on the back for my keen observation skills I heard a [DING] sound. Probably coming from my status screen those so-called gods mentioned.
But before I could look at it.
KNOCK KNOCK
Somebody was knocking on my door.
"Come in."
The doors swung open and a maid walked in!
'A real maid!'
I just gasped in excitement.
"Master, your… Father would like to see you now."
I jumped in surprise at the mention of my father. Though I noticed how strange she sounded when she mentioned him. Like she doubted if those words were even true herself.
Obviously whoever I was about to meet wasn't my real father but rather the body of the person whom I had taken over.
"Well I look forward to speaking with him," I said.
Once I was up and dressed I walked out the room and followed the maid to see my 'father'.
After a minute of walking I stood in front of the room where my father was supposed to be.
Two guards opened up the double doors and I walked inside only to see something I never would have expected.
My eyes went wide at the sight of an ugly creature that I had only seen on tv. Yet here it was, sitting in a chair drinking tea, wearing a purple and gold embroidered tuxedo and gloves like it owned the place.
It made me look down at my own skin wondering if I were green like him.
Though I sighed in relief once I noticed another man wearing a robe. Not the kind of cultivator robes I thought I would see but more like a hospital gown.
I walked up to the table and pulled up a chair without introducing myself.
Getting a better look at the sickly man who may be my father.
Sure enough he looks nothing like me.
'I can see why the maid was so hesitant to call him my father. Unless of course my father hasn't stepped into the room yet?'
Thankfully I didn't need to say anything since he spoke up first.
"... My boy. It's… good to see you up and about."
That's a strange way of saying hello to your son.
Even now I could see him taking nervous glances at the goblin sitting next to me.
No I don't mean he's ugly. I mean he's actually a goblin. Green skin and big nose and all.
When I noticed the goblin wasn't going to say anything I figured I might as well speak up.
"Yes father. I figured a bit of fresh air would do me some good."
I looked back at the goblin and saw him give a playful smirk before opening his mouth.
"Strange way of putting it for someone who has been in a coma for two weeks."
I flinched.
'Crap, I shouldn't have said anything. Whatever, I'll just play dumb.'
"I HAVE?! I figured that was just a small cat nap? Time really flows when you get a good night's rest…"
The goblin and I just stared at each other with smiles on our faces. For some reason it felt like he was challenging me.
My father just gave a nervous chuckle.
"My son, it's good you're awak-"
"What do you remember?" The goblin interrupted.
I looked back at him and smiled, this time ready for anything, "What's the point of asking a coma patient? I hardly remember my own birthday."
The goblin went back to sipping his tea. I was going to ask my father a question but the goblin stopped me.
"I found you in the slums. Fallen face first on a pile of horse shit reeking of booze. Isn't that right daddy dearest?"
My face twisted in disgust. Not because of how gross that sounds but because I'm starting to think he's messing with me.
"Yes, that sound-"
I gasped!
"That's right! I remember now. You had bought a lady-boy for the night. I told you she had some kind of disease but you just kept insisting. Saying things like, 'I'll just have fun with the fat rolls.' How could I forget?"
I picked up a cup of tea and poured myself a drink without breaking eye contact.
I thought he would get upset but instead he chuckled and whispered, "Well played." Before getting back to his tea.
I looked over to my father only to see his face was pale and his eyes were like a dead fish.
'Strange. Was this guy important?'
He seemed to notice my gaze so he spoke up.
"Anyways… I have to thank Lord Nethanial for finding you. My son still doesn't know you exist yet. I'll have to find a way to introduce you two in time."
I'm sorry? Lord? A goblin?
What do you mean your son doesn't know about me? What exactly is my relationship with this man?
The goblin seemed to understand my confusion so he spoke in my fathers stead once again.
"After your mother gave birth to you she had told nobody of your birth. I had only found you because I was searching for your father through blood magic. Imagine my surprise when I found three pings instead of two in the back of my head… Lucky I did. I found out you had been kicked in the head by a horse after trying to mount it one too many times."
My brows twitched a few times.
I had a feeling he was talking about a very different kind of mounting yet I couldn't be sure.
I leaned back in my chair and took a sip of tea.
I was wondering if there was anything else they had to say but I just sat there in silence while we all drank our tea like we were at a freaking tea party.
'This is really pissing me off.'
I just sighed, "Ok so what now? Do I meet the family? If not, I would like to be on my way."
My father looked at me in surprise.
"You don't want anything from me?"
"Like what? A hug? I'm good."
The one and a half men looked at each other. Though my father tapped his finger on the table as if contemplating his next move.
Eventually he spoke up.
"How would you feel about setting up a small settlement on the border of the kingdom?"
'huh?'