If someone had told me a month ago that I would be sitting at a table in the League of Villains base playing cards with villains and my teacher…
I would have assumed they hit their head.
Yet here I was.
Holding a hand of cards.
Across from Tomura Shigaraki.
Next to Dabi.
With Kurogiri calmly dealing another round.
And sitting beside me…
Shota Aizawa, sipping coffee like this was a completely normal Tuesday.
I placed a card down.
"Three."
Kurogiri nodded politely.
"Very good."
Dabi leaned back in his chair.
"You know, kid, this might be the strangest truce I've ever seen."
Aizawa didn't even look up from his cards.
"This isn't a truce."
He took a sip of coffee.
"It's a break."
Shigaraki tapped the table impatiently.
"Play your turn."
I was about to draw a card when—
The door slammed open.
Hard.
Footsteps.
Fast ones.
And then—
"RENNNN!!!"
My entire spine locked up.
Because that voice could only belong to one person.
Himiko Toga burst into the room.
Her eyes immediately locked onto me.
She froze.
Then smiled.
Wide.
Excited.
Terrifying.
"YOU'RE HERE AGAIN!!!"
I slowly stood up from my chair.
"…Hi."
She tilted her head, bouncing slightly.
"Ren! Ren! Ren! Ren!"
Then she noticed something.
Aizawa.
Villains.
Cards.
Coffee.
Her brain visibly struggled for a second.
"…What are you doing?"
I raised a finger.
"We were playing Garbage."
Silence.
Then Toga suddenly pulled out a knife.
"YAY!!"
Everyone at the table sighed at the exact same time.
Dabi rubbed his forehead.
"…Here we go."
RUN.
Toga lunged.
I reacted instantly.
POP.
I teleported three feet to the side.
She stabbed the empty air where I had been.
"HEHEHE!"
I pointed.
"NO STABBING!"
She chased me across the room.
"You're so cute when you run!"
I ducked behind a couch.
She jumped over it.
Knife swinging.
I teleported again.
POP.
Now I was standing on the bar counter.
"THIS ISN'T FUN FOR ME!"
She jumped again.
Knife barely missing my sleeve.
"COME BACK!"
I teleported again.
POP.
Now I was near the stairs.
Dabi watched with mild amusement.
"…You could just leave."
"I'M TRYING!"
Toga sprinted at me again.
I jumped backward.
She stabbed the floor where I had stood.
Kurogiri calmly placed another card on the table.
"…Your turn, Shigaraki."
Meanwhile I was zig-zagging across the room trying not to get stabbed.
Toga was laughing the entire time.
"Ren! Let me get just a little blood!"
"NO!"
"Just a tiny bit!"
"ABSOLUTELY NOT!"
She swung again.
I ducked and slid across the floor.
"YOU'RE AT SCHOOL—"
Wait.
Wrong line.
Toga paused for half a second.
"…What?"
That tiny pause gave me time to teleport again.
POP.
Now I was hanging from a ceiling beam.
She looked up.
"…Wow."
Then smiled again.
"You're getting better!"
Dabi pointed up at me.
"Kid, you're making her more excited."
"I NOTICED!"
Back at the Card Table
While I was desperately dodging knives across the room…
The card game continued.
Shigaraki placed a card.
"Five."
Aizawa placed one calmly.
"Jack."
Coffee sip.
Kurogiri adjusted the deck.
Dabi watched me bounce around the room.
"You know…"
He pointed at me mid-teleport.
"…he's actually getting pretty good at dodging."
Across the room I barely avoided another stab.
"TELL HER TO STOP!"
Nobody moved.
Aizawa looked up briefly.
"Toga."
She paused mid-jump.
"…Yes?"
"No stabbing during card games."
She blinked.
"…Oh."
Then she immediately ran at me again.
"JUST ONE STAB!"
"THAT IS NOT HOW RULES WORK!"
The Escape
I finally had enough.
I grabbed a card from my deck.
Focused.
And slammed it against the air.
A portal opened.
Right back to U.A. High School's training field.
"Yes!"
I jumped through.
Aizawa stood up calmly.
Picked up his coffee.
Walked through the portal.
Behind him, Dabi called out.
"Same time next week?"
Shigaraki groaned.
"Don't encourage this."
Toga stood near the portal edge watching me.
Still smiling.
She waved the knife.
"BYE REN!"
"I'M LOCKING MY WINDOWS!"
The portal closed.
Back at U.A.
The training field was silent.
Everyone from earlier stared at us.
Kirishima pointed.
"…Why do you look like you ran a marathon?"
I collapsed on the grass.
"…Card game."
Denki blinked.
"…What?"
Aizawa took another sip of coffee.
"…Training's over."
Then he walked away.
Leaving everyone staring at me.
I pointed weakly at the sky.
"…Next time…"
Everyone leaned in.
"…we're playing board games."