The paint ladened brush followed stroke after stroke, gliding over and against the uneven, protruded surface of the white fabric. Each successive stroke gave birth to a splash of blue and violet, jade and indigo. The cluster of the blue bells scattered across the frame swallowed its emptiness, rather granting it an emotion and quality much heavier—shame. The slanted, stunted stems- bent necks and lowered gazes portrayed something hazel knew all too well. Faces turned from the light of the sky. Fixed on the earthen, mocking soil underneath. The brush enwrapped by the fingers moved deftly, swiftly. mimicking a couple of swans dancing in the lake, in the blue; complimenting each other's rhythm, synchronizing with the other's existence. Yet the small monarch from the corner devoured all the attention, its flight against their lowered heads made them look small despite their size to the insect's.
A loud flutter of wings through the glass of the window made hazel's hand pause mid stroke, for a moment all she could see was white, and then feathers. A wide and munificent sight that stole the breath from her lungs. The falcon's flight was unceremonious and artless yet a ruminate in its way. She wanted to freeze the moment and entrap it on a canvas forever. But as she reached out her hand in the air, just above the easel, to grasp the moment; the falcon and its flight. The freedom and the feeling of the cool air hitting its skin. But Its freedom far beyond her reach. The moment ephemeral. And then it wasn't there, only the vast blue of the sky and a void in heart far loyal than a shadow.
~♧~
Hazel could spend hours staring at the wildflowers blooming at the side of the street, sheltered by the street lamp. Dew clung to the weak petals. Making hazel's fingers twitch, the urge to grab a brush and paint them made her loose sense of her surrounding. ''Does it hurt a lot today Hazel?'' Elysia asked, the question brought her back to the cherry wood table with the soft pink cloth, the homely aroma of coffee mixed with that of the wildflowers. The chattering people, the yawning waitress and the three girls in front of her, each with a parfait and coffee. 'A little. It depends though, Some days are worse.'' Hazel replied. ''Nothing I cant handle.''
''of course I did.!'' Adelina's shrill voice cut her off. ''Really?'' Beth exclaimed, who was sitting across hazel, with hair the red of cherry glinting in the sunlight. ''I didn't take you for the studious type.''
''You should. Idiots don't get into Heddleton.'' Lina swanked with a proud grin earning her a chuckle and a generous donation of hazel's toffee parfait only she could eat. ''For our genius.'' Hazel announced and Adelina gasped, ''Your magnanimous highness, how will I ever repay you for your generosity?''
''You need not my intelligent subject, I'm gracious enough.'' Hazel added with a nod that would have mimicked a royals, provided she was born as one.
''Boasting now aren't we?'' Elysia breathed with a calmness. The heels of her sandals clicked against the ground as she uncrossed her legs to lean forward. Her skirt rode up slightly to reveal more of her legs. they caught hazel's eye as they always did. Those slender legs and skirts never failed to not make her look down at her own. Beth finally moved the cup of the ice cold espresso from her lips, ''Well I'm surprised its not about hazel's achievements for once.''
The smile and camaraderie filled tone forced a laugh from hazel's lips in response to Beth's. ''Come on guys,'' hazel said with a titter that she had to squeeze out her throat, eliciting a series of giggles, ''Its not like that.'' But that was not what Hazel wanted to say. But How can I? wouldn't it hurt their feelings? It was just a joke after all. Instead, she turned to stare blankly at the wildflowers again.
The afternoon could not have stretched longer than it did. The joke had long since died, replaced by talks of their newly starting college lives—yet hazel couldn't ignore the air around them-or her. Adelina's eyes suddenly snapped away from Beth's face, her attention completely diverting from Beth's complaints about her college dorm. Her eyes were fixed above Elysia's shoulder before they lit up, ''Guys look at that!!!'' she bounced from her chair pointing at a puppy with its body and eyes covered in fur; heavier than the dog itself. Hazel and the other two turned just as abruptly to it, but the ones rushing to it were three, the ones standing in front of it ,gawking and squeaking were three, the ones who could rush to it were three.
Hazel for a moment had gripped the push rings but the wheelchair didn't move an inch. Her eyes remained glued to their dwindling figures, bouncing at their heels in front of the animal. She only stared at them, just as she had stared at the falcon.
She lowered her head, averted her gaze to the brittle ground, it always helped. Not to look at what she could never have. But hazel would have done everything if it meant she could stand alongside them, to rush to something cute like them. To move and walk and swim and run and fly, like the falcon, like them. To live, like them.
Elysia confusedly turned which made hazel think, maybe it was the absence of the screeches of tires that confused Elysia, not her absence. ''Hazel come have a look. isnt this the cutest.?'' The excited smile on Elysia's face contrasted with the flicker of guilt simmering in her dark orbs.
''Oh um… what are you waiting for hazel? Hurry up and come along.'' Lina urged as she too turned to look at hazel, but the nervousness in her eyes and the guilt was what gave hazel pause again. There were a few things she despised but that always stung.
The softest of smiles played on her lips, betraying the bitterness that swirled in her chest, sometimes she couldn't tell what she wanted; to feel hurt at the look in their eyes or be happy at the consideration of being included. But was it a manifestation of their guilt and sympathy too? she couldn't tell. instead of asking what her mind begged her to, she answered in a tone that tightened the knot in her stomach. ''Coming.'' And the tires were rolling.