Guilt had been plaguing Isaac since that day when Noctis and he had last slept together.
Several times.
He hadn't lied when he said that he loved him. And it hadn't been a lie that Noctis was the only person he had ever slept with. Isaac couldn't even imagine being intimate with anyone else. The mere thought of it felt wrong.
And yet… the cop… Benedict… had kissed him, and Isaac hadn't told Noctis. Out of fear of how he would react. After all, Benedict had only wanted to help, and the situation itself had been anything but romantic. Besides, Benedict hadn't tried it again since.
Something Isaac was secretly grateful for.
He wouldn't have known how to react anyway.
The guy confused him.
Isaac didn't even know what he felt for Benedict. Strangely enough, he felt comfortable in his presence. He was kind, even though he was a cop, and he seemed to genuinely care about him.
What Isaac could say with certainty was that it wasn't love. At the very least, he definitely didn't feel the same for Benedict as he did for Noctis. So what was it instead?
In any case, he didn't have a problem with Benedict touching him. Isaac let out an annoyed breath.
Why did everything have to be so complicated?
Everything had been so much easier when he hadn't let anything or anyone get close to him. Though he didn't regret his relationship with Noctis in the slightest. Of course it had made certain things more complicated, but it had also brought so much good into his life, and he was happy with him.
Isaac knew how much Noctis loved him, and he felt it every time he merely looked at him.
Damn. He had been in love with Noctis for so long, and now to have those feelings returned was more than he had ever dreamed of.
He didn't need anyone but Noctis.
That was exactly why he was afraid to tell him. Maybe it would be better—maybe he should just do it—but on the other hand, the kiss had been something Isaac would rather file under accident. He hadn't felt anything during it; the panic had been far stronger.
However, the small voice inside him said that in that moment he had wanted the kiss. He had only pushed Benedict away when the thought of Noctis had crossed his mind. What would have happened if he hadn't thought of Noctis?
Would he have gone further with Benedict? Would he, in his confusion, have slept with him? Would he have done exactly what Noctis feared?
The thought made Isaac feel sick.
Damn, he needed to stop overthinking the notebook. He had to end whatever this thing with Benedict was, grab the damn notebook, and somehow survive the next heists.
If necessary, he would just keep breaking into Benedict's place over and over again to read his notebook—right up until the moment they were facing each other again as cop and criminal.
Isaac grabbed his bag and left his apartment. He had woken up far too early. Ever since Noctis had been so angry, his thoughts kept circling endlessly. He wasn't sleeping well, and he kept racking his brain trying to figure out how he could steer everything around him back in the right direction.
At least he was making good progress with his assignment, but even painting no longer really helped him sort out his thoughts.
No matter how he looked at the different situations, most of them weren't easy to resolve. The heists had become so dangerous that it would actually be wise to pause them for the time being. They should lie low for a while, do nothing, and leave the police confused.
Of course, they could also set someone up as a scapegoat and expose them as Moonshadow or Ink Phantom. In their world, there were so many ways to keep their real identities hidden that it was almost ridiculous.
But Isaac didn't want someone else going to prison in his place—or even dying. So that absolutely wasn't an option.
What he would actually like would be to stop the heists for a year or two, and then go back on missions alone afterward. No attention, no cops, no strange fans spreading photos of them online.
There were plenty of ways for him to remain useful to the Boss.
But that decision wasn't his to make.
Right now, the Boss needed the thefts to raise money for his plans. Isaac's heists paid people's salaries. There was so much tied to those jobs that it wasn't only himself he had to worry about. Or Noah and Ashe.
The heists were far more than the simple theft of a piece of art. They were the moment when deals happened far from the eyes of the cops; they were a distraction and a source of money at the same time.
Isaac would probably have to keep doing the heists until the day he died. At the very least, he would keep doing them as long as the Boss demanded it.
And the way things were currently going around the heists, his death would probably come sooner than planned. Benedict had already shot him once. Maybe he would be the one who killed him in the end.
His heart felt heavy at the thought. What was strange was that it had never mattered to him before. His own death had always been something he calculated into every mission he took.
But the thought of leaving Noctis behind made his chest feel strangely hollow.
He shook the thought away.
He wasn't going to kick the bucket that easily, and he would fight until the bitter end, no matter what those damn cops came up with. He had always known what he was getting into, and ever since the day he had been accepted into the clan, he had been more than aware of his role.
Whatever happens, I'm neither helpless nor incapable, he thought, not without pride.
His life had always been in danger. So many times he had barely escaped, and more than once he had walked away with injuries. So he would get through this phase as well. He just had to be a little more careful.
A faint smile touched his lips.
In any case, he would enjoy his time as much as he could. He didn't want to have any regrets when he eventually died. When that day came, he wanted to look death in the eye with a smile. He only hoped that day still lay very far in the future. After all, he had only just discovered love—and everything that came with it.
Warmth spread through him when he thought about what Noctis had done to him the last time, and he couldn't help drifting into that small daydream for a moment. He wanted to see him again soon. He wanted to feel his lips and his hands all over him.
Maybe he really was becoming addicted to feeling him in and on him all the time. A small smile played on his lips. Maybe they could even go on vacation someday. Perhaps the Boss would allow the two of them a short break.
Isaac had never taken a vacation before, and he had never left Magnolia. He knew the geography of the continent they lived on, but most of that knowledge came only from books.
He wanted to go somewhere cold. Maybe somewhere with a lot of snow, where they could be alone. The cold and a hot fireplace would be all he needed.
But that pleasant feeling shattered when he arrived at the café and saw Nico standing outside with his henchmen.
This would make the fourth time Nico had come looking for him. Isaac didn't stop walking. Anger rose inside him. Why did that damn bastard have to come to him early in the morning when he was on his way to work?
He already had enough problems to deal with, so why did this damn bastard keep showing up again and again?
Because Isaac had held back?
Because he hadn't wanted to hurt Nico, to avoid sparking a possible war between the clans? Was this lackey even important enough to start a damn war over?
Maybe he should show Nico that he was capable of more than just running away. If he got serious, he could take care of these three jokes easily. He would wipe the damn floor with Nico. Besides, he still needed to thank him for the fiasco with the destroyed choker.
His gaze fell on the muscle-bound man, his eyes narrowing.
Suddenly, he felt like having a little fight.
He had no injuries. He was healthy. And this time he wasn't dealing with the aftereffects of tear gas.
He was rarely truly angry. Annoyed, yes. But angry?
When had he last been angry? Especially to this extent?
His blood seemed to boil.
"Well, if it isn't our little Isaac," Nico greeted him with a smug grin.
The tone was so syrupy that Isaac almost felt like throwing up.
Nico leaned casually against the wall next to the café as if the place belonged to him. With exaggerated calm, he lifted his arm and glanced at his expensive wristwatch.
"Wow. What a reliable henchman you are," he continued. "Right on time to open the café. Your boss must be proud of you at any hour of the day."
Isaac stopped a few steps away.
Far enough to react if one of them suddenly attacked.
His gaze briefly moved over the three men as he assessed their positions. Nico in the middle, grinning broadly. On the left, the muscle-bound man who had choked him last time. On the right, the third one—somewhat scrawnier—whose eyes kept darting between Isaac and the street.
They were blocking the entrance.
Isaac didn't even fold his arms. Instead, he stood there loosely, as if this were nothing more than an insignificant encounter.
"What do you want?" he asked coolly. "The answer is still no."
Nico laughed quietly.
"Oh, I'm not here to ask whether you're coming with us." His grin widened. "In case you remember, we're long past that point."
His expression turned even more arrogant as he tilted his head slightly.
"Or did my friend here choke you so well last time that your memory's starting to fade?"
Isaac didn't react to the provocation.
The memory of having the air cut off still burned unpleasantly in the back of his mind. But he certainly wasn't going to give Nico the satisfaction of responding to it.
Isaac did not elaborate on it. He would make sure to repay everything Nico had done to him so far.
"I won't give up without a fight, as you know," he replied instead.
Nico raised an eyebrow.
"You do realize that this time no cop is going to help you, right?"
Isaac said nothing to that.
Benedict was one of his first clients that morning. If Isaac didn't deal with these three quickly, things might get tight. And the thought of Benedict stumbling into this situation halfway through did not appeal to him in the slightest, for several reasons.
He pressed his lips together briefly.
When this was over, he would have to talk to the boss. He couldn't just beat up members of another clan and pretend nothing had happened. Things like that rarely went without consequences.
He exhaled slowly. If he ran away again, Nico would simply come back.
His gaze fixed on Nico, his hand curling into a fist.
If he fought, however, and hurt Nico, he might think twice before coming after him again. Though Isaac doubted they would give up. But that was what the boss was there for.
He had said himself that Isaac was one of his best men.
Isaac was important to him; he made sure the boss had enough money to put his plans into action. So he trusted that the boss would approve of his decision. He certainly had no interest in Isaac falling into the hands of another clan.
"I don't need a cop to deal with you," Isaac said coldly. "Let's get this over with. After you."
Nico laughed and started moving.
"Then come along, white rabbit," he said cheerfully over his shoulder.
Isaac followed them, annoyed.
This Nico was taking far too many liberties.
At least Nico didn't want to fight him out here in the open street. Which meant Isaac could simply deal with them in a side alley. As long as he only beat them up and didn't seriously injure them, everything would be fine.
As long as no weapons were involved, he could handle this cleanly.
Just like he did during the robberies when dealing with the cops. He did use his knife, but only where it hurt—not where it became life-threatening. Isaac knew how to knock his opponents out without seriously injuring them.
He glanced at the clock before they turned into the dark side alley. He had twenty minutes before the café had to open. If everything went the way he planned, it wouldn't even take that long.
For a moment, Isaac considered at least sending Noctis a message.
After all, he had promised Noctis that he would contact him if Nico showed up again.
He really had been worried last time…
But before Isaac could type even a single word, his phone was knocked out of his hand by a knife. The blade struck the asphalt a few meters away and slid across the ground with a harsh scraping sound. Isaac's fingers still burned from the sudden impact.
Isaac cursed quietly and turned his gaze toward his opponents. Of course they wouldn't let him send a message.
"Honestly, Isaac, that really wasn't very clever of you," Nico said disapprovingly. "Who were you trying to call? Your boss? Were you planning to beg him to save you, hmm?"
And it irritated Isaac that Nico was right.
He should be glad his hand hadn't been injured by the attack.
Nico laughed loudly. "Don't even think you'll be able to run away this time!"
No sooner had Nico finished speaking than Isaac moved toward his opponents with lightning speed. He was alone, which meant the element of surprise was on his side.
He couldn't get to Nico yet, so he chose the scrawnier one first. From experience, he already knew that he wouldn't be able to take down the big brute so easily.
The man was just moving into a fighting stance when Isaac was already on him, driving a full-force kick straight into his knee.
A loud grinding sound followed by a distinct crack.
With a bloodcurdling scream, the man's knee gave way and he collapsed.
Before he even hit the ground, Isaac had already grabbed his arm, twisted it brutally behind his back, and shoved him straight into Nico. The two of them slammed together hard.
"You damn little bastard!" Nico shouted angrily.
While Nico and his lackey collapsed, the muscle-bound giant was already charging toward him—unstoppable like a damn steamroller. He raised his massive fist and swung it straight at Isaac's face.
Isaac ducked at the last second. The punch cut through the air above his head so fast that he could feel the rush of it. A moment later he heard the man's fist slam into the wall behind him.
He used the opportunity to straighten up instantly, stepped to the side, and drove his elbow with full force into the man's ribs. The impact was dull and didn't seem to hurt the brute as much as Isaac had hoped.
The man only grunted and grabbed for Isaac without hesitation. Even though Isaac tried to pull away, the guy caught him by the collar.
Instead of resisting, Isaac allowed himself to be pulled along without protest.
He used the momentum, turning with the motion and kicking the outside of his opponent's shin.
The grip loosened as the man groaned in pain.
However, it wasn't enough to bring him down. Isaac grabbed the man's arm, turned, and with practiced technique threw him over his shoulder. The man slammed hard onto the asphalt on his back.
The air rushed audibly from his lungs. Isaac didn't give him any time; he could hear Nico getting back to his feet.
The big brute fumbled for a knife hidden at his hip. Isaac drew his own blade, hurled it at the brute's hand, and pierced it. Then he rushed forward toward the knife, snatched up both his opponent's blade and his own.
He jumped back again.
His breathing had grown heavy by now, sweat running down his forehead and neck.
The fight was exhausting—but nothing that would stop him.
Nico was already back on his feet, glaring at him with pure hatred.
Isaac couldn't help but grin.
God, it felt good to wipe that smug smile off his face.
"You damn bastard," Nico hissed, pulling out a knife of his own.
Isaac's smile turned colder.
"Finally."
Nico charged forward, attacking Isaac relentlessly with quick thrusts. Isaac retreated with little effort. His movements were so fluid that Nico could barely keep up with him. He let Nico come closer, dodged him at the last moment, and drove his knife into Nico's thigh. He yanked it out roughly, jumped a step back, and then kicked the stab wound.
Nico staggered backward. Isaac lunged forward with the hilt of his second knife and slammed it against Nico's temple.
He reeled back with an uncontrolled groan.
Behind Isaac, the brute was getting back to his feet.
Blood ran from the gash on Nico's head as he lifted his hate-filled gaze toward Isaac, panting. In anger, he threw his knife aside.
Isaac was just about to rush him when he heard a gunshot behind him.
Instinctively he jumped to the side—and felt a sharp, burning pain in his thigh.
Isaac sucked in a sharp breath and hurled his knife at the hulking brute. It sank into the man's throat.
His protests dissolved into gurgling.
Fuck.
That was not good at all. A knife in someone's throat was difficult to explain as an "accident."
But Isaac didn't have time to think about the consequences.
The adrenaline dulled the pain in his thigh. He rushed toward Nico, jumped, and kicked him with full force against the other temple. Nico's head snapped violently to the side, and a moment later his body simply collapsed like a wet sack.
Isaac turned to the man he had taken out first. With trembling hands, the guy was fumbling with his pistol. Isaac gripped his knife tightly and hurled it at the man before he could fire.
That made two dead already.
Isaac stood still for a moment, breathing heavily. His heart pounded so loudly in his ears that he could barely hear anything else. Slowly, he leaned against the wall of the building.
He had to disappear.
In the state he was in, he couldn't open the café either.
He grabbed all the weapons and pocketed them, then took the IDs and phones from the two dead men. The fewer pieces of evidence he left behind, the better.
He limped over to his bag and slung it over his shoulder.
Then he searched for his phone and finally went over to Nico, who was still unconscious on the ground. Isaac tried to turn his phone back on. The display was shattered, the back casing split open from the impact of the knife.
Isaac pressed the power button again.
Nothing.
"Damn…"
The thing was dead.
So he went back to Nico, who was still lying unconscious on the ground. Blood was matted in his hair. His breathing was shallow but steady. Isaac knelt beside him and searched his pockets. Moments later he was holding Nico's phone in his hand.
He pocketed it, then lifted Nico with a suppressed curse and slung him over his shoulder. His injured leg immediately protested sharply, but he ignored it. Also the bleeding.
Then he unlocked the phone with Nico's fingerprint and dialed Noctis's number.
Isaac knew it by heart.
Just like the boss's.
It only took a few seconds before someone picked up.
"Who are you?"
The voice on the other end sounded tired.
And murderously cold.
A shiver ran down Isaac's spine.
"It's me," he panted.
There was silence for a moment.
Then: "Isaac?"
Surprise colored Noctis's voice.
"What number is this?"
Isaac shifted his weight to the other side and clenched his teeth as his leg flared with pain again.
"Later," he said curtly. "I need your help."
The fatigue vanished from Noctis's voice instantly.
"Where are you?"
Isaac bit his lower lip. He had killed two men.
"In the alley behind the café. We need to move some…people," he finally said. "Hurry."
He exhaled heavily.
"I think I've seriously fucked up."