I, an ordinary Earthling, achieved my greatest life accomplishment by playing the role of "Masked Fool" online.
I spread "Joy" and "Chaos" across major forums and video comment sections, dedicated to turning every serious discussion into a grand meme carnival.
I thought my life would be wasted away like this, typing on a keyboard, until that day.
A large truck, seemingly summoned from another world and labeled "Space-Time Logistics."
It violated all laws of physics, leaping hundreds of meters from an overpass and smashing straight through the wall of my seventh-floor apartment.
Finally, I just felt myself being lifted by an invisible large hand, and a cheerful voice spoke in my ear:
'Beep! Your Fun-Seeker Trial Card has expired. We are now renewing your Otherworld Rebirth Package!'
And my last thought wasn't, "Why?" but: "...This is certainly a huge amount of fun."
Everything went black... Under the night sky of Amamiya City, a shadow lay bored on a rooftop, a nearly finished Pocky stick dangling from his mouth, legs crossed, gazing at the stars.
This person was our protagonist, now named Koushi Hōoin, a transmigrator who possessed memories of his previous life and had diligently grown up again for more than a decade in the Date A Live world.
The standard setup: parents deceased, owns a car and a house, but no sister.
He is currently classmates with Itsuka Shido, a close friend with Kotori, and even maintains a subtle Understanding with the AST elite Tobiichi Origami, born from "sharing" information about Shido.
But thinking of some other people, Koushi's mood couldn't relax. Miku, or rather, Yamai Tsukino... He was once her earliest fan.
He witnessed her glory and her downfall, and even specifically visited her when she was hospitalized in despair—after all, she was once his 'wife,' and offering comfort seemed right.
Yet, he ultimately watched with his own eyes as that phantom gave her the Spirit Crystal, watched her transform into a Spirit, and heard her coldly sever the past: "Yamai Tsukino is already dead."
Maybe he went too late. And there was Nia, whose whereabouts he couldn't even trace... Yep, the ultimate unlucky soul. What, you want me to save Nia? Ah, me fighting Ellen? Seriously?
I really can't save this one. These known tragedies were like a thorn, solidifying Koushi's life motto of minding his own business, clinging to the main character, and watching the drama unfold.
"Sigh, tomorrow..." Koushi sighed, his voice filled with the anticipation of a spectator and a hint of inexplicable annoyance.
"Tomorrow, this place is going to be lively. Some purple silly girl is probably going to smash straight through this sturdy rooftop and precisely airdrop into Itsuka Shido's arms."
He waved his hand at the city below, "Go for it, Shido-kun, your harem awaits you."
If I remember the plot correctly, tomorrow is the day everything begins.
The Spatial Quake, the Spirit manifestation, Itsuka Shido's earth-shattering adventure... all the plots I know are about to rush out like runaway hounds.
"But that's fine," Koushi thought optimistically, "It's good to rest in the shade of a big tree."
As long as I tightly cling to Shido, the protagonist, and cheer him on, using my ten years of dating sim experience to assist him in conquering the Spirits and providing assists.
My assists might even be better than those gods on the airship. Maybe I could even be noticed by Ratatoskr and get a staff position, occasionally catching some gossip on the edge of the plot.
Wouldn't my little life be wonderful? Safe, and with plenty of fun to watch. Perfect!"
Koushi had even planned his route for tomorrow: go to school, observe Shido's status, and if anything changed, immediately strategically gather to watch, prepared with snacks and drinks.
"Hmm, perfect plan." Koushi was very satisfied with his strategy of "surviving while watching the drama," and stretched comfortably. "How nice it is to lie back and watch the show."
"Sigh..." Koushi rolled over, Pocky in his mouth, and began his nightly routine of mental theater:
"Itsuka Shido, Itsuka Shido, you lucky dog, you're hitting the jackpot tomorrow. Why did a girl as cute as Tohka have to crash right in front of you? And those other Spirit girls later—Tobiichi Origami, Yoshino, Kurumi... just thinking about it makes me green with envy."
Koushi began his habitual internal complaining: "Seriously, what did the rooftops around here ever do to deserve this? Their cost-effectiveness is ridiculously high. And those utility poles are basically high-risk structures."
But beneath the complaining, a subtle emotion still surfaced. Knowing that tragedies would happen, knowing that his friend (or maybe acquaintance?) would suffer, yet only being able to choose to stand by.
This slight feeling of powerlessness and irritation—of holding the script but only being able to be a spectator—was quickly suppressed by his fun-seeking nature, but it was undeniably there.
Koushi shook his head, blaming the slight discomfort on the cool night wind, and decided to end this inexplicable mood with a classic meme phrase.
He cleared his throat and, facing the brightly lit but soon-to-be disaster-ridden city below, declared clearly and emphatically in a broadcasting voice, his tone containing self-mockery and a barely perceptible jab at his own sense of powerlessness:
"I... can't do anything."
The moment the words left his mouth, an anomaly suddenly occurred!
The air in front of him violently twisted and collapsed! A massive, manic, absurdly colored smiley face pattern flashed into existence!
"What the hell?!" Koushi jumped backward in shock. "What is that?! Did the universe's photo editing software glitch out?!"
[Kahahahahahahaha! Aha! Found you!]
[That complaint! That mindset! That precise self-awareness and that slight, unwilling sourness! It is perfectly to Aha's taste! Perfect! A match made in heaven!]
"Aha?! Wait! Star God Boss?! I was just running my mouth! Why are you enforcing the law across universes?!" Koushi complained frantically internally.
[Aha was rejected, Aha is so embarrassed! But Aha thinks you are very fun, so Aha is going to give you power! Aha is sending you a 'performance outfit' and 'props'! Instruction manual included!]
Without giving any chance to refuse! A power of joy and chaos forcibly tore through reality, pouring directly from the mask into Koushi's body!
"Ugh, ahhh—!" Koushi felt his soul tremble as countless pieces of knowledge flooded into his mind!
At the same time, a dark gold cube and an ice-blue cubic crystal appeared out of thin air! The cube automatically flew to his waist and transformed into a belt! The crystal automatically flew into and embedded itself in the slot!
The data stream inside the core began to accelerate, emitting a faint hum and pulsing blue light.
The mechanical structure around the belt slot immediately contracted, locking the core in place.
The dark gold markings on the belt's surface instantly lit up, turning into a surging blue data stream, transforming into a silver-white driver brimming with technological flair. The driver emitted a rapid electronic sound: "Beep beep beep—Ding!"
Next came a calm mechanical female voice: "Core Registered. Rationality Sequence, Initiate." (Core Authentication. Rationality Sequence, Activate.)
"Cognitive Scan! Theory into Practice! Rationality Rise!" (Cognitive Scan! Theory into Practice! Rationality Rise!)
"Kaleidrive Shift!" (Kaleidoscope Drive Shift!)
Centered on the driver, a massive blue digital magic circle, composed of countless zeros, ones, and geometric patterns, instantly unfolded, covering Koushi's entire body.
Dense data scanning noises, accompanied by the metallic sounds of objects being rapidly deconstructed and reassembled, along with the paper-like sound of blueprints unfurling and the distinctive hum of a holographic projection.
The mechanical female voice (speed increasing, with a constructive urgency): "Scanning... Deconstructing... Blueprint Loading... Reconstructing!" (Scanning... Deconstructing... Blueprint Loading... Reconstructing!)
Koushi's body was completely enveloped by the blue data light stream, as if he were being scanned and printed layer by layer by a 3D printer.
Countless translucent, blue-glowing weapon designs, mechanical structure diagrams, and molecular formulas rapidly spun around him like a shield, combining and then dissipating.
Each component of the spirit dress clearly emerged one by one within the data stream, assembling and locking into place. The Crown of Rationality behind his head coalesced from countless points of light.
All construction sound effects reached their peak, then abruptly ceased, accompanied by a crisp "Clang!" as if the final piece of armor had locked into position.
The mechanical female voice (pitch rising, full of proclamation): "The Herrscher of Reason!" (The Herrscher of Reason!)
All data streams and blueprints instantly converged, merging into the spirit dress itself, causing the blue light paths on its surface to fully illuminate and flow gently. The Crown of Rationality behind her head rotated steadily.
When the light faded, the young man who had stood there was gone. In his place was a Spirit clad in blue and black high-tech spirit dress.
Her figure was tall and athletic, the streamlined armor conforming to her curves, and the skirt of her short battle dress resembled fractured data streams. She wore a shoulderless, tight top, with a pulsating blue core gem embedded in her chest.
Silver-white gauntlets covered her arms, and asymmetrical white thigh-high stockings and combat boots highlighted her individuality.
Her ice-blue hair moved without wind, the Crown of Rationality, composed of blue light prisms, slowly rotated behind her head, and a pair of blue-framed goggles rested on her bangs.
Koushi froze in place, stunned for a full five seconds. Her mind was blank.
First, she instinctively looked down and saw the unmistakable curvature of her chest, as well as the strange yet familiar gem embedded in her sternum.
She slowly raised her hands, which were covered by silver-white gauntlets—fingers that were slender yet powerful. She abruptly lifted a hand to touch her face; the sensation was smooth and delicate, no longer the familiar contours.
Next, she incredulously touched... the area where something was definitely and obviously missing. Finally, her gaze settled on the belt still faintly glowing at her waist.
"..."
"..."
"...Holy mother of all hells???"
A clear, distinctly digitally synthesized, yet incredibly real girl's voice (a silly voice?), emerged from her throat, filled with extreme shock and bewilderment.
"Wait... hold on... Aha?! Star God Boss?! A gift is a gift... but was the gender sent incorrectly?! This extra service is way too outrageous!"
Koushi made an international friendly gesture toward the air (or rather, toward Aha).
"I... I just turned into a magical girl?! And the kind that comes with its own skin and voice pack?!"
Koushi looked down at her cool-beyond-belief spirit dress. "Although this skin is pretty s... cool... this isn't right! I'm a guy! I'm a pure man on the inside!"
She felt like her CPU was about to burn out.
But reality gave her no time to slowly process this.
Woo—Woo—Woo—!!!
The Spatial Quake alarm wailed sharply! Smoke and dust billowed in the distance!
"Damn it! I was so busy being shocked I forgot about this! I just became an arsonist and disturbed the peace!"
Koushi instantly woke up. "Run! I must run immediately! If I get cornered here by Master Origami or the AST, the fun will truly be enormous!"