[Mission: Surviving Anxiety and a Brain trying to kill you]
Shinobu inherited a mental illness from her father. It was genetic after all, [Major Depressive Disorganization] and [Generalized Anxiety Disorganization] were inherited. It was typically just a good game in terms of having a happy life.
Add in the fact that father passed me on of [De-Personalization & De-Realization Disorganization] to me as well which makes life harder to live in. I just woke up at 3am which makes me feel very confused and anxious by these memories that I have.
My name is Shinobu Dokusha, Shinobu being my first name and Dokusha being my last name. Right now, I am trying to survive a panic attack. I received memories that are not very pleasant to deal with. Thanks to that, my own brain wants me dead and I feel really confused.
I woke up at 3am, ate some Mr. Beard's creampuffs, brushed my teeth, then texted the emergency mental health hotline. I had a brain that wanted me dead. It felt like a parasite was trying to kill me from the inside out in a mental way.
Such painful memories, I wish to fall asleep to forget about it. Ah I can feel myself slowly disappearing and falling asleep peacefully. I was asked by the emergency hotline on the fact that I should talk more. But what is there to talk about?
I was slowly blinking my eyes repeatedly. Which indicated that I was falling asleep. Having [Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorganization] was not fun at all. Such flashbacks terrified me.
As I walking back to my room, I twisted my ankle and landed myself on my feet hitting the floor. 'Ouch' I thought as my sensitive skin hitted the cardboard floor. So much for peacefully falling asleep, I was tripping over myself.
Not to mention the fact that my throat felt dry and like not enough water was there to hydrate it. Despite the fact that I drank enough water to stay hydrated. It still felt as dry as a typical desert would be. Like the water I drank was not enough to satisfy it somehow.
I placed my hand on the floor while slowly trying to get up. Feeling drowsy, I opened the door from my TV room to try and get to my room in the dim lighted dining room. Before that, I had to satisfy my desert-like thrist by drinking about a cup full of water.
Despite feeling like I'm about to fall asleep, I know that I can't. Feeling like I am edged on sleeping is absolutely wild to experience. Gosh brain, why won't you let me fall asleep already?
Why must my mother abandon me? Not even my father is here at times either. Father is asleep or not awake and then there is my mother who abandoned both my father and I.
In the end Shinobu fell asleep on her bed with these thoughts in mind.
[Congratulations! You have completed the 36th Situation Shinobu!]