"Are you fucking kidding me? Wood magic? Again?!"
Han-Jun's scream echoed through his cramped apartment, vibrating the empty ramen cups on his desk. On the glowing monitor, his nineteenth character—a pathetic druid with the 'Splinter' affinity—had just been stomped into a red paste by a basic Forest Ogre.
"Ten years. Ten goddamn years of my life! I've been a Glass Mage who shattered when a slime coughed on me. I've been a 'Mud Warrior' with the durability of wet tissue paper. I've seen every trash-tier, bottom-of-the-barrel, dumpster-fire race this game has to offer!"
He slammed his fist onto the desk, narrowly missing his mouse.
'I've checked every thread on Weddit. I've watched every single 'Top 10 Secret Races' video on Webtube. Nobody is as unlucky as me. It's statistically impossible to be this much of a loser.'
He swiped his hand across the screen, pulling up his final 'Regression Ticket.' This was it. The 20th progression. If he rolled another 'Common' or 'Trash' grade race, he was going to throw his PC out the window and become a monk.
"Please," Han-Jun whispered, his eyes bloodshot. "Just give me a High Elf. A Dark Knight. Anything that doesn't die from a stiff breeze."
He clicked the Gacha button.
The screen didn't just spin; it buckled. The typical white and green lights of the common tiers were nowhere to be found. Instead, the monitor turned a deep, obsidian black, fractured by veins of violent blue lightning.
'What the... I've never seen this animation on any forum. Is my GPU dying?'
Suddenly, a name burned itself into the center of the screen in letters that looked like they were dripping in blood.
[RACE: PRIMORDIAL CALAMITY DRAKE (RANK: SSS)]
Han-Jun's jaw hit the floor. "SSS? There isn't even an S-Rank in the database! SSS?! I did it! I finally—"
Before he could finish his victory shout, the room began to hum. The blue lightning didn't stay on the screen; it crawled out onto his desk, onto his arms, and surged into his chest.
[NOTICE: SOUL SYNCHRONIZATION 100% COMPLETE.]
[WELCOME TO THE REAL AETHELGARD, KANG HAN-JUN.]
"Wait, real? What do you mean re—"
The world inverted. Han-Jun felt like he was being pulled through a straw. His vision went black, and the sound of his humming PC fans was replaced by a heavy, dripping silence.
He woke up with a face full of dirt. It smelled like wet limestone and ancient rot.
"Ugh... my head feels like it was put through a blender."
Han-Jun tried to push himself up, but his arms felt... short. And his stomach was touching the cold ground. He looked around, squinting through the gloom of a dark, jagged cave.
"What the hell? Where's my room? Why is it so dark?"
He tried to stand, but he tripped over something heavy trailing behind him. He looked back and saw a grey, scaly tail twitching in the dirt.
"What the fuck is that? Why is there a lizard tail on my—"
He looked down at his 'hands.' They were grey paws with four stubby claws. He wasn't wearing his hoodie. He wasn't wearing anything. He was covered in dull, chipped scales.
"No. No, no, no. FUCK!"
Han-Jun tried to scream, but a high-pitched, lizard-like skreeee echoed off the cave walls.
'Are you shitting me?! SSS-Rank! It said SSS-Rank! I'm supposed to be a Calamity Drake! This isn't a Calamity, this is a tragedy! I'm a fucking gecko!'
He scrambled around in a circle, chasing his own tail in a panic.
'System! Open System! Where is that goddamn blue box when you actually need it?'
[SYSTEM INTERFACE INITIALIZED]
[STATUS: STARVING]
[OBJECTIVE: CONSUME MANA TO TRIGGER FIRST EVOLUTION.]
"Eat? Eat what? There's nothing here but rocks and—"
"Did you hear that?"
The voice was human. Han-Jun froze, his tiny heart drumming against his ribs. He peeked around a stalagmite and saw three figures walking into the cavern, lit by a magical lantern. They wore leather armor and carried cheap-looking swords. Low-level adventurers.
"Sounded like a monster. Probably just a stray lizard," one of the men said, spitting on the floor. "Check the crevices. If we find anything with a mana core, it's worth a few silver."
Han-Jun stared at them, his eyes wide. In the game, these guys were NPCs he'd ignore. But now, from his perspective on the floor, they looked like titans.
'They're going to kill me. They're going to turn me into a coin purse before I even get to level two! Fucking system, do something!'
[SUGGESTION: TARGETS DETECTED WITH 'TRICKLE-GRADE' MANA BLOODLINES.]
[ADVICE: CONSUME THE HUMANS TO SATISFY THE VOID DRAKE'S HUNGER.]
"Eat them?!" Han-Jun thought, his scales bristling. "I'm four inches long! They have boots bigger than my entire body! How am I supposed to eat them, jump down their throats and hope they choke?"
The adventurers were getting closer, the light of their lantern sweeping toward Han-Jun's hiding spot. He looked at his stubby claws and then at the 'Gluttony' trait glowing in his mental menu.
'I spent ten years trying to beat this game. I am NOT dying as a snack for some D-rank hobo.'