Have you ever questioned yourself, "What's life?"
Not that "life is anything that breathes or is alive." More like a broad answer focused on yourself.
Live. Laugh. Love.
That's what we're meant to believe, and everything will be alright.
You're gotta get hurt to understand growth.
I'm not gonna disagree with that statement. I mean, look at forex traders. They lost a lot of money while they were rookies before they could make more money.
It's not a good analogy, but it fits. You're gotta face a breakup before you can understand love. Love is a more complex and simple thing for a human to feel.
Love has no meaning. If someone puts a meaning on love, then they can also put a meaning on a breakup.
Where am I going with this? Nowhere?
What's life? That's a question I ask myself every day.
Every day I wonder: do I exist because people know me? Do I exist because someone knows my name? Or am I already dead, and my mind is just running simulations of things I experienced while I was alive?
Oh right. I did fall from an 18-meter scaffold.
I told my supervisor that the webbing on my safety harness was badly cut. He still told me to work on the scaffold with faulty gear.
Now they're going to blame me. Either they'll say I never mentioned it, or they'll quietly cover it up.
"Why didn't he request a new one?"
"Why didn't he report it to his supervisor?"
"Why did he climb the scaffold knowing the PPE was faulty?"
[A/N: Personal Protective Equipment]
"Why didn't he tie off to a safe ledger?"
Those bastards. They always dodge accountability.
#ZeroExcuses100%Accountability
And yet they never take full accountability themselves.
Why am I complaining if I'm dead?
Either way, I never realized death could be...
Somber.
Yeah. That's the word.
I'm not glad I'm dead. I'm sad that I'm dead.
I didn't accomplish anything. I had a life plan—a detailed one. I was going to finish all of it. It wasn't a bucket list, though it looked like one. The life plan wasn't meant to make me happy. It was meant to make life simple.
Not happy. Simple.
Happiness; a luxury I can afford but a feeling I cannot live.
Man. What a life!
Why is it crowded in here? Where even am I? Wasn't I supposed to be dead? And why does it feel like I've repeated the same thoughts before?
Let's try to shift.
"Wait, my water just broke."
Who is speaking? Is that a woman speaking?
"MOM! MY WATER JUST BROKE."
Why is she screaming? Wait, is she about to give birth? Am I being reincarnated right now? Why, though?
"It's too early. Weren't you supposed to give birth next week? The doctor said you'll give birth next week. What's going on?"
Who is that other woman? I guess it must be her mom. Shall I take a look and see?
"ARGHHHHHHHHHH! He's coming, Mom."
She's screaming so loud. I mean, giving birth is painful after all.
"Let me call the ambulance."
Will I be able to fit in that hole? Shall I give it a try?
"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! It'll... It'll be late. Take me to the hospital, Mom."
Maybe I shouldn't try to peek anymore.
"But honey—"
"NOW, MOM!!!"
This is the most uncomfortable place to be.
"GOD DAMN IT, start, you piece of shit."
She sounds angry. Is that the sound of an engine starting? Guess we're on the way to the hospital.
~WEE-OO WEE-OO~
~WEE-OO WEE-OO~
Wait, is that the sound of sirens?
"Honey, can you hold on a little bit? It looks like the police are pulling us over."
Okay. I guess she was speeding. Am I supposed to call her grandmother since she's the mother of the woman who is giving birth to me?
"Good afternoon, ma'am. Do you know why I pulled you over, ma'am?"
Let's try and see.
"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Oh shit, I forgot about that.
"Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am. It looks like the woman is about to give birth. How about we drive in front of you to the hospital?"
I guess the man who said that is a nice guy.
"I would like that."
~WEE-OO WEE-OO~
~WEE-OO WEE-OO~
~WEE-OO WEE-OO~
~WEE-OO WEE-OO~
I guess the cop cars are driving in front of us so we can reach the hospital real quick. This must still be Earth or a nice world. It must still be Earth because they're speaking English.
"SOMEONE HELP! THIS WOMAN IS ABOUT TO GIVE BIRTH! IT'S AN EMERGENCY!"
The man screamed. I guess we're at the hospital then since there's a bunch of noise made by wheels.
"WE NEED THE DOCTOR! SHE'S GIVING BIRTH NOW."
Who is that? I guess it must be a nurse or an employee who works at the hospital.
"Take this woman to the maternity ward. Mister, are you the father of the child?"
"No, I'm just a police officer who helped them get here fast."
"I'm her mother. The father is not in the picture."
Oh, I guess I'm fatherless, which is not new to me.
"I need you to sign these papers, ma'am."
Wait, what papers? I thought you only signed that after.
"What is this?"
"It appears your child is still a minor, ma'am. We need a consent form to proceed with the labor."
Wait, my mom is still a minor. Wow, but ain't that a surprise in this day and age.
We are going somewhere. Can I see?
"ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Okay, maybe I should wait for the signal. What would be the signal, by the way?
"Okay. Can you breathe slowly and push?"
Hold on, am I being squashed or pushed? It's getting harder to breathe in here. Wait, how am I breathing? Ohh, umbilical cord.
Let's get out.
"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
It's harder to get out. My head is almost there.
"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"The baby is coming. Keep pushing."
My head is almost out.
"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"There's the head."
My head is out.
"Keep pushing. The baby is almost out."
"ARGHH!"
I'm finally out.
"Ma'am, you did it."
'Finally, I have been born.'
"Waaa—aaa—aaa! Waaa—aaa—aaa!"
'Wait, why am I crying when I'm talking?'
"Waaa—aaa—aaa! Waaa—aaa—aaa! Waaa—aaa—aaa!"
'Ohh, because I haven't grown or developed my lips, tongue, and jaws enough to speak.'
"Waaa—aaa—aaa! Waaa—aaa—aaa! Waaa—aaa—aaa!"
«-»
What just happened? Why do I feel like something happened? It feels like I just lost moments or something. It feels like it happened the second my umbilical cord was cut.
Suspicious.
Anyway, since I don't know, it ain't a big deal.
"Ma'am, your baby is a boy, and he is healthy."
"Nurse, write the time of birth: 12:47 on 18th August 1980."
WHAT!! I'm in the past. This room doesn't feel like it's in the past.
"Can I hold my son, Doctor?"
"Sorry about that. You can hold him."
Wait, am I going to be named Lucian? That's a good name and not used a lot.
"You—You're cute. You look happy. Your name is..."
Let it be Lucian, please.
"Felix."
YAY!
"It appears you like the name."
Wait, what? My name is Felix.
"Can my mother come in, Doctor?"
"Yes."
Felix! I can't believe it.
"Mom, meet Felix. Your grandson."
"Ohh, look how cute he is. Can I name him too?"
"Yes, Mom, you can."
Please, Grandma, let it be a badass name.
"Your middle name is Cole. You remind me of a horse my father had back on the farm. We used to call it Cole. Your middle name is Cole."
I'm named after a horse.
"Your name is Felix Cole Vale."
Felix Cole Vale. Vale sounds badass.
Man, I'm tired.
Wait, did I steal an unborn child's life, or did I merge with the child? Doesn't it feel like I'm not supposed to exist? Either way, I'm gonna live my life to the fullest.
Time to sleep.