Translator - Zofu
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"I'll buy the booze, so you order the sides."
On the way to my place.
Jeong Se-in went into a convenience store and said that.
"Sides? What? Tteokbokki?"
"Crazy, what the hell with tteokbokki. Are you a pussy? Order chicken, chicken."
Crazy bitch. Who called who a pussy? She's the one who's a pussy.
Then again, tteokbokki being the first thing to come to mind at the mention of bar food was kind of pussy-ish.
"Fuck."
That's why Jeong Se-in, a girl with a pussy, acts more like a dick, doesn't she?
Since when did I turn into such a pussy?
This must be the influence of my ex-girlfriend.
She drilled the formula that "women go crazy for tteokbokki" into my head.
So when Jeong Se-in brought up the snacks, tteokbokki naturally came to mind first.
Jeong Se-in is a woman. Women love tteokbokki.
But Jeong Se-in was different.
Chicken? What kind of man are you?
More importantly, are you really a woman?
"Soju? Beer?"
"Whatever."
"Then I'll buy both. It's hot, so you wait outside."
"What?"
"Hurry."
Kicking someone out of a convenience store just because it's hot... what a girl.
I got kicked in the butt by Jeong Se-in and went outside.
"Sigh."
My head was complicated.
Starting with the fact that Jeong Se-in is a woman, and all sorts of things.
Life really doesn't go the way you want it. Ha.
"Yo. Let's go."
Jeong Se-in came out of the convenience store carrying a bundle of soju and beer.
"How much do you plan on drinking to buy that much?"
"Shut up. Did you order the chicken?"
"Ah. Not yet. What should I order?"
"Aish! Just figure it out and order something."
"Ah, I'll order it now. I said I'll order it."
It's funny, really.
Even when my head is complicated, just bullshitting with her makes my mind go blank. Like being with a really close friend.
"If she weren't a woman, that is."
"What?"
"Nothing. Never mind."
She's a friend, sure.
But sometimes, something gets stuck in my throat while talking.
Probably because this guy is a woman.
I can't crack sex jokes, and for some reason, I can't bring myself to use really harsh swearing.
No matter what, in front of a woman, you just... you know?
"Ah shit. Still far?"
"Almost there."
"You live in a total shithole."
"Sorry it's a shithole. Want me to carry the booze?"
"Forget it, man. We're almost there anyway."
Hmm.
No matter how I think about it, it feels like I'm talking to a male friend.
As long as I don't look at her, that is...
"What?"
"Sigh."
...But once I do look, it's breathtaking.
With those tits and that ass.
How can I treat such a female as a friend?
"Yo, I can't do this."
"What?"
"Don't come to my place."
"Crazy. What are you saying? You want to die?"
"Ha."
I might actually get arrested today.
I have to be careful not to touch her, even by accident.
*
My place is a tiny studio in a three-story villa.
A place that was supposed to be our love nest after I was discharged from the military.
But my girlfriend dumped me as soon as I got out.
"Fuck."
I thought she had waited for me until my discharge.
But to her, I was already nothing.
She just left me alone because I didn't show my face or bother her.
But when I started showing my face after discharge, she formally dumped me.
Like an idiot, I looked for a place to live with my girlfriend before I even got out, and the studio I signed a lease for was closer to her school than mine.
"Heh heh. Retard."
Jeong Se-in giggled and laughed as she listened to my story.
I had nothing to say even being called a retard. Honestly, I would have laughed too.
I was too embarrassed to tell this story anywhere else. But in front of this guy, the words just flowed. Is it because we've been drinking?
"Fuck. What about you? Do you have a boyfriend?"
"Boyfriend? Do you think I have one?"
"No."
I don't know why, but the concept of a boyfriend didn't suit the human named Jeong Se-in in front of me.
A beauty who makes men's eyes pop out. But strangely, it feels like she doesn't have a man.
Why? Is it just because I want it to be that way?
This is a strange story too.
"I don't have a boyfriend."
"I knew it."
"Instead, I have a lot of girlfriends."
"Bullshit. I have a lot of guy friends too, you know."
"Not that. I mean lovers who are women."
Gulp.
I downed a full glass of soju and beer in one go.
"Are you talking about the ones from earlier?"
"Yeah."
I thought they were a bit different from a normal group of women.
The group itself was flashy, and each individual person stood out uniquely.
They were the kind of people who would be the most noticeable even if they were in different groups.
Such women were all gathered in one group.
But a lesbian group?
Hearing that, I kind of understood.
Hmm. I thought I was pretty young and MZ myself.
The world is changing much faster than my common sense.
I'm getting old too, I told you.
"So? Which one? The one who picked a fight with me?"
"All of them."
I thought "no way", but it was indeed "no way".
"All? You're dating all of them together?"
"Not that. They are each my lovers."
"They're all your lovers?"
"Yeah. Jealous?"
"I'm fucking jealous!"
Wow. Is there really such a fucked-up world?
While someone is whining after being dumped by a girlfriend, someone else is walking around with a dozen women hanging off them?
If this guy were a man, I'd be innocent even if I punched him. Wow, fuck.
"Heh heh. You're jealous, right?"
Jeong Se-in laughed with a face that looked like she was having a hangover of reality.
"Yo, try to recall your ex-girlfriend."
"I don't want to."
"Recall her anyway. And imagine there are 10 girlfriends like her."
"..."
Selfish, emotional, self-centered, lacking common sense, impossible to communicate with... beasts wearing human skins.
And there are 10 of them?
"Imagine dating those 10 girlfriends at the same time."
"Stop."
I cut Jeong Se-in off because I felt like I was falling into an abyss I couldn't escape.
"You get the picture? What my situation is like."
Then Jeong Se-in downed her glass in one go.
I watched in a daze.
Is this it? The reason women fall for her.
The hand holding the glass, the lips touching the rim, the resonance of the alcohol going down her throat.
Every movement was art. Even I couldn't help but stare in awe.
Add to that a gloomy expression and a few cynical words, and Jeong Se-in herself became a work of art.
"...I get the gist. Your level."
"Right?"
It was so shitty I wanted to die.
Damn. What do I understand?
If only I was born with that kind of caliber...
And the chest, ass, body, head size, skin, voice...
Fuck. There's a hell of a lot I'd need to change.
"I guess I'll just live like this. Like a retard."
"Yeah. That's the way to be the King Juji. Heh heh."
"Yo. Stop calling me that. I'm not an elementary schooler."
"Why? The Juji grew up to become King Juji, didn't it?"
"Sigh..."
Hearing Jeong Se-in teasing and giggling made the alcohol hit me hard.
"Are you still bragging about having a big Juji?"
"Shut up. Do you think I'm a kid?"
"Why? Since you're not a kid, you should brag even more."
"Ah, seriously."
It was a difficult problem. How to deal with this guy.
Should I treat her as a woman, or as a close friend who has seen everything?
She probably knows too.
That I'm still confused.
That's why she keeps giving me signals.
Signals to treat her the same as before.
"Yeah, fuck. I'm still bragging about it now. Happy? Like this, dangling dangling! Huh?"
I stood up and shook my waist.
Twerking.
Usually you turn around and shake your butt, but I faced forward and shook my Juji.
Dangling dangling! Enough to see the thing inside swaying even over my clothes.
"Kkkkkkahaha!"
And Jeong Se-in, seeing that, cracked up.
Gaining courage from that, I shook my pelvis even more fiercely.
"Dangling dangling! Hey! Huh? Dangling dangling!"
"Pfft hahaha! Stop! Stop it! Hahahaha?!"
What the hell is this crazy shit in the middle of the night.
It was something even elementary schoolers these days wouldn't do.
But maybe because it's been a while since I did something crazy, it was fun even if it was stupid.
"Haa, haa. My stomach hurts."
"Stomach hurts? You on your period?"
"Bullshit. It's because you're funny."
Jeong Se-in, who laughed for a while, grabs her own tits and poses.
"Should I try too? Dangling dangling boobs?"
"Don't you do it."
"Tsk."
I stopped her immediately.
I didn't want to see this guy falling apart... in so many ways.
"Yo. Instead of that, show me properly."
"What?"
"The Juji, I mean. You need to verify how big the King Juji's Juji is."
"You bastard. Are you drunk?"
"I am drunk. But this isn't drunk talk."
Jeong Se-in took another heavy shot.
"Phah. I have a worry these days."
"What worry?"
"What kind of worry would guys like us have? It's a woman problem."
"This hopeless bastard."
If this guy was a man, I would have really hit him.
"Talking like you're one of us. Women flock to you even if you just sit there and drink water."
"Huh? How did you know?"
"Ha. Really?"
It was truly a fucked-up world.
"Fuck. But what's the problem? If women came on to me on their own like they do for you, I'd have no worries in the world."
"If it were you, you wouldn't. But I have one."
"So. What is the worry?"
"Something you have and I don't."
Given how the conversation flowed, even an idiot like me could figure it out.
"What? Juji?"
"Yeah."
With a gloomy expression, Jeong Se-in stared at my crotch.
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