The morning was a bust.
When lunchtime came, Yoon Ha-min looked around and took me to a snack shop.
I never thought the day would come when I'd eat tonkatsu.
As I cut into the tonkatsu and put it in my mouth, the distinctive sauce filled my mouth.
Crunch, crunch. While I was cutting the next piece, Yoon Ha-min, sitting across from me, carefully asked, "By the way... where do you usually eat?"
I froze momentarily at the sudden question.
I couldn't describe the emotions swirling inside me.
My mouth went dry since I didn't particularly want to share where I ate my meals.
But as if that wasn't what he really wanted to know, he paused and hesitated.
It felt like he was reluctant to say something.
Not having any idea what he was trying to say, I watched his face for a moment, and the uncomfortable silence was quickly broken.
"No, I don't mean anything strange..."
"I just eat at home. Why?"
I answered indifferently.
More than anything, I wondered why he was asking where I ate.
Yoon Ha-min seemed unsatisfied with my answer, making a pained expression before sighing.
"It's nothing."
We resumed eating.
Since I didn't particularly want to continue any heartfelt conversation, I was content just eating.
After lunch, our search continued into the afternoon.
Yoon Ha-min looked around, and after confirming no one was nearby, he carefully approached me.
"Hey, Kanna."
"What?"
"Would you like to eat with me at school from now on?"
Hearing this, I recalled our conversation during lunch.
I realized his question about where I usually ate wasn't about home versus restaurants, but about where I ate at school.
I was relieved I had given a vague answer earlier.
If I had thought about saying "I buy bread and milk and eat in the bathroom," and then realized I couldn't say that, the atmosphere would have already turned awkward.
Anyway, more importantly, I wondered why Yoon Ha-min suddenly wanted to eat with me.
He used to just leave me alone, so what changed to make him show me kindness now?
It might be my own insecurity, but as someone who had been abandoned once, it wasn't exactly a welcome suggestion.
"Why so suddenly?"
My voice came out a bit curt.
Seeming a little taken aback, Yoon Ha-min studied my reaction.
Then he answered in a slightly subdued voice.
"...We also need time to talk about where to go next..."
I pressed my lips together at his words.
I had asked him to trust me first, but now that Yoon Ha-min was actually devoting time to help me, it created its own complications.
I wanted everyone to survive, but I didn't want to be hated for it.
But if everyone could live, then being disliked was...
If Orca found out that Yoon Ha-min's grades had dropped because of me, that gentle Orca would surely be angry.
She might ask why someone like me kept getting in the way of the top student.
Because I would have shattered her desire to fairly claim first place.
Still, I didn't want to die, and I didn't want others to die either.
Above all, aren't these emotions something you can only have when you're alive?
"Thank you."
So I spoke honestly.
"...Thank you for believing in me, even though there's nothing to believe in..."
Why? This sudden surge of emotion.
Ah, that's right.
It's because I had nothing until now.
When no one believed in me, suddenly someone trusted me without conditions or expectations—it made me so happy.
"...ugh."
Tears welled up to my throat.
Since being dragged here, I felt someone's genuine care for the first time, and I couldn't organize my overwhelming emotions, so I turned my head away sharply.
"Kanna, are you okay...?"
Yoon Ha-min asked me carefully, but I wasn't really okay.
I just cried quietly, completely forgetting we were on a public street.
Today was another bust, but I was too emotional and filled with other thoughts to feel depressed about it.
If I had to say something positive, I felt like I'd gotten a little closer to Yoon Ha-min.
Realizing how joyful it was to have someone believe in me when no one else would, I returned home with my trembling heart.
*
Saturday was a bust, Sunday too.
The good thing was that Yoon Ha-min continued to help me.
Even without any evidence that something would appear, he believed me and took my words seriously.
Were there cracks in the wall? Any suspicious people or totems?
Instead of playing on the weekend, we repeated this search and talked, which helped calm my mind more than before.
And then Monday again.
After spending the weekend with Yoon Ha-min, I once again experienced the cold stares directed at the bottom-ranked student that I had forgotten about.
No expectations, trust, or hope.
Just mockery, contempt, and the perception that I was a failure.
I walked numbly on that carpet of stares.
I knew that a path lined with such gazes couldn't be walked with a clear mind.
When I arrived at the classroom, Yoon Ha-min was there.
The protagonist of this world with black hair and golden eyes.
The one on whom all spotlights shone.
He greeted me.
"Hi, Kanna."
At his voice, everyone focused their attention on us.
I was dazed for a moment before answering with a bitter smile.
"...Hi."
Everyone seemed shocked by our natural greeting.
It was definitely different from when I had previously begged him to be my friend.
This wasn't a friendship formed by request, but something that felt genuinely natural, so such a reaction was expected.
It felt a little good.
The start of what seemed like a depressing week had improved somewhat.
After all, those terrible stares that I dreaded facing had changed a little.
As classes began, I could focus on the lessons.
Of course, my weakness was practical skills rather than note-taking, but since my notes weren't perfect either, I worked my pen to strengthen those areas.
I couldn't just keep receiving help from Yoon Ha-min forever.
The fact that I had the luxury to study like this was because Yoon Ha-min was helping me.
He offered to eat lunch together and help after academy hours, so the biggest advantage was not having to worry about what to do alone.
Sure enough, when the lunch bell rang, Yoon Ha-min watched the other students leave, glanced at Orca once, and then turned toward me.
"Kanna, I heard the cafeteria food is really good today."
"Really?"
When I answered, Orca smiled wryly.
"It's nice to see you two getting along. And you seem to be working hard too."
"...Ah, yes."
I answered stiffly.
Something about Orca's straightforward and proper demeanor made me feel like I was being told to study by my mother whenever she spoke to me.
Still, I was glad to build even a small friendship with her.
"I-I'll work hard."
I don't think there's a better answer than this.
I just hoped these words would leave a good impression on her.
Anyway, nodding at Yoon Ha-min's suggestion, I got to eat with the two of them.
I felt good about not having to go to the last stall in the bathroom with bread and milk.
And I was thrilled to experience the academy's luxurious cafeteria food.
I didn't need to worry about being heard and eat quietly.
I stuffed the delicious food into my mouth again today.
It was a touching moment that made my nose tingle.
"...But Kanna."
"Yes...?"
While I was enjoying my meal, Orca carefully gestured, as if my eating manner bothered her.
I was about to question why she was interrupting my meal, but looking around, I realized I was the only one stuffing my face.
Ah... thank you, Orca.
I struggled to swallow the food I had crammed into my mouth and drank some water.
Tears welled up. I patted my chest hard, trying to clear my blocked breath.
Then Yoon Ha-min, sitting next to Orca, handed me the water cup he had filled earlier.
I nodded once and then gulped it down like an oasis found in a desert.
"Whew... I'm sorry. Th-thank you."
I apologized to Orca for drawing attention, and thanked Yoon Ha-min for the water.
Then we continued eating.
Unlike before, I tried to eat carefully and as elegantly as possible, just enough not to attract stares.
Of course, I couldn't match Orca's natural elegance.
Yoon Ha-min was watching cautiously.
It seemed he had planned to ask about our after-school plans at this moment.
But with Orca beside us, he looked disappointed that he couldn't.
I knew this would happen since Orca never wanted to be apart from Yoon Ha-min.
We could always talk during lunch break, so it didn't really matter.
I was just happy to be able to eat comfortably like this.
"...Nom."
I put the last piece of meat into my mouth.
Delicious.
So happy.
It felt so good to worry less about others' gazes just because someone was beside me.
A feeling I hadn't experienced since coming to this world surrounded me, making my lips curl up involuntarily.
For this moment at least, I could forget that I was ostracized for being the bottom-ranked student.