*Drip...* *Drip...* *Drip...*
The sound of water hitting the cave floor was the only clock Sam had left.
Five days. It had been five days since the giant bird kicked them out of their tree. Five days of sleeping on hard stone, eating dry System food, and trying not to die in the Night Shed Forest.
Sam opened his eyes. The dim morning light crept into the dusty cave. His whole body ached. His spine felt bruised, and his right arm was completely dead.
He didn't even have to look to know why.
Lumi was glued to him. On the first night, she tried to sleep on the other side of the cave to keep her "Celestial dignity." By night two, the freezing cold crushed that dignity. Now, she used him as a human heater.
She had her arms wrapped tight around his chest. Her face was buried in his shirt. She was still wearing his oversized jacket, wrapped up like an arrogant caterpillar.
'For a Sovereign, she sleeps like a terrified koala,' Sam thought, letting out a tired sigh.
He stared at the ceiling for a minute, trying to flex his fingers. Nothing. The arm was completely numb.
"Hey," Sam rasped. His voice was rough from sleep.
"Lumi. Wake up. You're killing my arm."
She didn't move. She just hummed softly and pressed her face deeper into his collarbone.
Sam rolled his eyes. He reached over with his good hand and pinched her cheek.
"Ow!" Lumi gasped. Her amber eye flew open.
She realized exactly where she was and scrambled backward. Her fancy heels scraped the rock floor. A furious, bright pink blush covered her face.
"You—you insolent mortal!" she stammered, frantically fixing her messy hair.
"How dare you pull me while I am Sleeping!"
"Pull you?" Sam deadpanned. He sat up and rubbed his dead shoulder.
"Lumi, I went to sleep looking at the wall. I woke up with you drooling on my neck. Don't lie."
"I do not drool!" she yelled, turning redder.
"It is the humidity of the cave! And I only moved to the center to avoid the drafts!"
"Right. The drafts," Sam chuckled. A painful swarm of needles returned to his hand as the blood flowed back. "Whatever helps you sleep, Sovereign. Just try not to break my ribs next time."
Lumi huffed and looked away, crossing her arms tightly.
Sam smiled. Teasing her actually kept him sane. Outside was a death trap, but in here, watching the fallen goddess lose her temper was the highlight of his day.
He stood up, his joints popping, and walked to the plastic water jug. He splashed freezing rainwater on his face, then grabbed the cheap iron pot. He checked the System interface. 45 SP left.
"Two dried meat rations," Sam thought.
The tough meat appeared in his hands. He tossed it into the pot with some water. He couldn't make a fire, so cold wet jerky was the menu.
He tossed a soaked piece into a wooden bowl and handed it to Lumi.
She stared at it. "This is an insult to food."
"Eat your wet jerky and stop complaining," Sam said. He bit into his piece. It tasted like an old shoe.
"We're hunting today."
Her stomach let out a loud growl. She snatched the bowl and ate, trying to look elegant while tearing into the meat like a starving dog.
When they finished, Sam grabbed his wooden spears and scraped the tips with a rock.
"Alright," Sam said without looking up. "Your turn to wash the bowls."
The cave went dead silent.
Sam looked up. Lumi stared at him like he just told her to jump off a cliff.
"Excuse me?" she asked.
"The bowls," Sam pointed with his stick. "I bought the food. I made the food. You wash them. We split the chores."
"I am the Sovereign of the Silver Veil," Lumi stated. Her amber eye flashed with real anger.
"I commanded legions of Seraphim. I shaped stars with a thought. I do not wash dirty bowls with cold rainwater!"
"Congrats on the past," Sam shot back, totally unfazed.
"But right now, your domain is a wet cave, and your legion is a guy with a less Vitality. Wash the bowls, or you don't eat dinner."
"You would starve me over a chore?!"
"Watch me."
They glared at each other. Sam almost laughed. Fictional characters in the novels he used to write weren't this stubborn. Finally, with a massive, dramatic sigh, Lumi grabbed the bowls.
"I hope a slime eats you today," she muttered, stomping to the water jug.
"Love you too, Lumi!" Sam called out. A wet rag hit him right in the head.
An hour later, they crept through the dark, humid forest.
Sam walked in front, spear ready. Five days in hell made him better at this. He didn't step on dry twigs anymore. Lumi walked right behind him, her torn dress brushing the ferns.
*Snap...*
A heavy sound came from the bushes to their right.
Sam froze and dropped low. He held up a hand. Lumi stopped right behind him, completely silent.
He parted the giant leaves and looked.
In a small clearing, a monster was digging up the glowing moss. It looked like a boar, but it was the size of a rhino. Its skin was covered in thick, dark grey bone plates. Jagged metal spikes stuck out of its back.
[Ding!]
[Monster Identified: Razor-Spine Boar]
[Threat Level: Cataclysmic]
Sam swallowed hard. The wolves were bad, but this thing was a living tank. His wooden spears would just bounce off that bone armor.
"It's too armored," Sam whispered, turning his head slightly.
"My spears won't work."
Lumi leaned in. Her chin almost rested on his shoulder. Her amber eye narrowed, analyzing the beast.
"The armor has a flaw," Lumi murmured. Her warm breath hit his neck, sending a weird shiver down his spine.
"Look at the front legs. When it digs, the bone shifts. There is a tiny gap behind the shoulder. Hit that, and you pierce the heart."
Sam looked. She was right. For exactly half a second, a tiny two-inch gap opened up.
"That's a tiny target," Sam breathed. "If I miss, we're paste."
"We will not miss," Lumi said.
She didn't ask. She stepped right up against his back. Her right hand slid down his arm and grabbed his hand on the spear. Her left hand pushed his elbow up a fraction of an inch. She smelled like rain and crushed flowers.
"Breathe, Sam," she whispered. She actually used his name.
"Your shoulder is tight. Clear your mind."
The boar grunted like grinding stones. It lifted its massive head and stepped forward.
"Wait..." Lumi whispered.
The boar dug its snout into the dirt. The front leg moved. The bone shifted.
"Now!"
Sam threw the spear with everything he had. Her force guided his arm perfectly.
Thwack!
The wood flew like a bullet. It hit the two-inch gap perfectly, burying itself deep into the monster's chest.
*Squeeeeeaaal!*
The beast let out a deafening scream. It thrashed wildly, tearing up the dirt and snapping trees. Black blood sprayed everywhere.
"Back up!" Sam yelled. He grabbed Lumi by the waist and yanked her behind a giant tree just as the boar charged blind.
Crash!
The boar slammed into the trunk like a train. The hit knocked Sam and Lumi into the mud. Sam scrambled up, grabbing his second spear.
He didn't need it. The monster stumbled back, let out a wet gurgle, and dropped dead.
[Ding!]
[Monster Defeated: Razor-Spine Boar]
[Reward: 80 SP]
Sam slumped against the tree and slid down to the dirt. His lungs burned. Eighty SP. That was huge.
He looked over. Lumi was sitting in the mud a few feet away. She was panting. Her platinum hair was stuck to her sweaty face, and a massive streak of wet dirt covered her cheek. She looked ruined.
She touched the mud on her face. Pure horror filled her eye.
"This is..." she gasped, staring at her dirty fingers.
"This is beyond degrading."
Sam started laughing. The adrenaline and the absurdity of a goddess crying over mud was too much.
"It's not funny!" she snapped. She grabbed some moss and scrubbed her face, making the mud worse.
"Okay, okay, sorry," Sam wheezed.
He opened the System. Over a hundred SP. They needed supplies, but looking at her, he felt a weird twinge of affection. She was annoying, but she never let him miss.
"System. Buy one clean cotton towel. And... buy one sweet cream bun."
A clean white towel and a soft, sugary bun appeared in his hands. Sam walked over and handed her the towel.
Lumi stopped scrubbing. She looked at the clean, dry cloth like it was a holy artifact. She took it and pressed it to her face, letting out a soft sigh.
"And here," Sam said, holding out the bun. "For not missing the shot."
Lumi looked at the pastry. She didn't complain about mortal food. She just took a small, delicate bite. The sugar hit her, and her eyes closed in pure bliss.
"It is... acceptable," she muttered, taking a bigger bite.
Sam smiled. He picked up his spear from the mud.
"Come on, your highness," Sam teased. "Let's go home before you ruin your new towel."