KAI'S POV
My eyes fell immediately from his, unable to hold his gaze as I stumbled backward. A cold, sharp realization pricked at the edges of my heated bliss.
I had done something Enormously wrong. My heart was a frantic drum against my ribs, my breath was shaky, ragged thing in the sudden quiet of the office.
The afterwarmth of what we'd just done still pulsed through me, a disastrously, delicious heat that belied the panic now closing my throat.
His smell was everywhere.
Literally Everywhere.
His cologne, a sophisticated, woodsy fragrance, mixed perfectly with the clean, sharp scent of mints and something else, something uniquely, essentially him.
It was an intoxicating aroma that, under any other circumstance, I would have found myself leaning into, breathing deeper.
But now, it was just evidence. The air was thick with it, and with our sin.
I'm so fucked.
The thought was a cold splash of water, I am in a complete and utter mess.
My movements were feverish as I zipped up my trousers with fumbling fingers, the sound obscenely loud, and quickly fastened the buckle with a sharp click, as I leaned on my glassy wooden desk.
"What have I done?" I muttered, frustratingly, under my breath, my anger whispering into the stale office air, as I dug my fingers into my thick brown hair, pulling slightly at the roots, as if the pain could erase the memory.
"Ethan?" I called out, my voice tighter than I intended.
He was still on his knees, His warm blue eyes, those beautifully huge, innocent eyes, were fixed on me, wide with a mixture of awe, adoration, and a flicker of the same panic I felt. He looked like a devotee at an altar, and the sight sent a dark, thrilling current straight through my core.
I knew I had being worshiped before, but this seems to be the best of them all. He was all over me.
"Just get up," I added, forcing a glacial calm into my tone, layering it over the riotous, screaming chaos inside my head. But the truth was a screaming echo:
I just fucked up.
I just came in a student's mouth.
Right here, In my office.
"Professor Kai," he began, his voice a low, husky whisper that felt like a physical caress in the quiet room. It was a calm, melodic sound that wrapped around me, promising things I couldn't afford to want. "I'm really sorry about this." He added almost in a whisper.
Sorry?
My eyes narrowed, my analytical mind, the one that earned me a Ph.D. and this tenured position, kicking into gear, pushing the panic aside.
I studied him.
Really studied him.
The slight tremble in the hands he now clutched together. The way his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed nervously. The blush that still painted his high cheekbones. With a quick, chilling certainty, I knew it.
I could manipulate him.
Completely.
The thrill of that control was a potent, familiar drug. I always found a way to be in control, And now, he had just handed me the ultimate leverage on a silver platter.
I pushed off the desk, the picture of composed authority, as I settled into my high-backed leather chair. I steepled my fingers, my gaze boring into him. "Why did you do it?"
I saw the tension lock his shoulders. He flinched as if I'd struck him. A secret, dark part of me reveled in it.
Yes,
Good, Be nervous.
"I… I didn't know what came over me, Professor Kai… It's just…" he stammered, his words tripping over each other in a helpless, desperate rush.
I watched him, like a predator observing its prey circle a trap. There was no doubt in my mind now, He was already in love.
Pathetically, wonderfully in love.
"But you know it was never supposed to happen, right?" I said, my voice dropping to a soft, dangerous purr. I leaned forward, elbows on the desk, and rubbed my jaw thoughtfully, watching his eyes follow the movement. "I mean, what if I don't really want this?"
His face fell, crumpling with a pain that was almost too genuine to look at.
"But… but I like you, Professor Kai, I always did." His voice gained a sliver of desperate strength. "Since the day you came to this college, I've always had this… this admiration for you." His fingers twisted together, a nervous, telling dance.
The admission hung between us, thick and sweet. I let it sit for a moment, let him stew in the vulnerability of it.
Then I shattered it.
"But I don't!" I let the words drop like stones, cold and hard and final. "I don't feel the same way, So, to not drag this out, just see this as a one-night stand." I infused my tone with an arctic chill, watching each word land on him like a blow.
I saw it happen.
The light in those beautiful blue eyes flickered and died. His intertwined fingers went limp, falling to his sides as if the bones had been removed. A profound sadness contorted his features, and a very small, very distant part of me twinged with something like regret.
But I smothered it, I never cared, Or I never let myself.
"But Professor Kai…" he mumbled, taking a hesitant, stumbling step toward the desk.
Toward me.
I held up a single hand, a clear, imperious command. "You have to leave, Ethan!" The warning in my voice was unmistakable, a blade sheathed in silk.
"And all of this," I added, my tone dropping to a firm, finality, "never happened." I warned my tone icy.
Just as I've expected,he crumbled.
He nodded ha head slowly like a meal sheep,I watched him bent to pick up his backpack, and like a passing moment, he was out of my office.
He was gone.
Flee from my office and definitely my life, leaving me with nothing but a guilty memory and the lingering scent of mint and sin.