The two remaining Tiger Woodses moved at the same time.
TIGER WOODS' TURN.
The first one raised its arm. Shadow gathered along its claws, dark and deliberate, pulling the grey light inward before releasing all at once.
SHADOW CLAW.
It caught Zhang clean across the shoulder and spun him sideways.
SOUTH KOREAN OR CHINESE HP: 8 - 3 = 5
Zhang staggered but stayed upright, bow still in hand, teeth gritted.
The second Tiger Woods didn't wait. Same motion. Same darkness gathering at the claws. Same target.
SHADOW CLAW.
SOUTH KOREAN OR CHINESE HP: 5 - 3 = 2
Zhang hit one knee. His bow scraped the ground. He stayed there for a second, breathing through his nose, one hand pressed to his side.
Then he screamed.
"OWWWW. GOD DAMN."
Diego turned. Took one look at Zhang on the ground, one look at the HP bar sitting at 2, and said "You ok fat ass." Genuinely asking.
"NO I AM NOT OK." Zhang looked up at him, hair disheveled, green robe torn at the shoulder, eyes absolutely furious. "I GOT 2 HP LEFT. USE YOUR HOLY MEXICAN LIGHT. BITCH."
Diego went very still.
The forest went very still.
"Uh uh." Diego's voice dropped to something low and extremely calm. "Who you calling a bitch." He looked at his Codex. Looked back at Zhang. "I'll skip my turn and let Tiger Woods drop your fat ass."
Zhang's fury evaporated instantly. "Wait wait wait no I was just kidding—"
"NAH NAH—"
"DIEGO I HAVE TWO HP—"
"Should've thought about that before you called me a bitch—"
"Andre." Zhang turned desperate eyes to Andre. "Andre tell him."
Andre looked at Diego. "Diego we don't know what happens if someone hits zero. Like he might actually die."
Diego held the stare for one long moment. Then exhaled through his nose. "Fine." He pointed at Zhang. "But you better call me daddy."
The Dark Forest of Valdenmoor, ancient and terrible and full of things that had existed since before human language, waited.
Zhang looked at Diego.
Diego looked at Zhang.
Zhang slowly got on both knees, one hand still pressed to his ribs, and said with the resignation of a man who had made his choices and would live with them: "Yes daddy Diego."
Andre turned away. "A to the Yo. What the fuck."
Diego smirked. "Good boy."
DIEGO'S TURN.
Diego turned to face the first Tiger Woods, the one sitting at 7 HP, the one that had put Zhang on his knees twice. He looked at his Codex. Scrolled once. Found what he was looking for.
HOLY SMITE.
He pushed it.
The sky answered.
Green, white, and red light cracked down through the canopy in a single brilliant column, finding Diego the way it always found Diego, like it had been waiting up there the whole time with nowhere better to be. It moved through the armor and into him and he was already running before it finished, sword leading, the holy Mexican light pouring down the blade and building there, crackling and bright, and he closed the gap in four strides and drove the sword into the Tiger Woods' midsection with everything he had.
The light detonated.
The Tiger Woods came apart at the seams, shadow blood and dark aura bursting outward as the creature folded around the blade and simply stopped existing, dissolving upward in slow dark spirals until the air where it had been standing was just cold and empty and quiet.
TIGER WOODS HP: 7 - 12 = 0
Diego straightened up. Rolled his shoulder once. Didn't look back at Zhang.
"You're welcome," he said.
ANDRE'S TURN.
One left.
TIGER WOODS HP: 5.
Andre looked at it. The last one standing, shadow aura thin now, hollow eyes tracking him across the dark soil. It raised its claws.
Andre smirked.
He reached back. Closed his hand around the greataxe. Felt the weight of it settle into his grip the way it always did, familiar and final.
He pushed AXE SLAM.
His body moved before his brain did, the way it always moved, legs driving hard off the cold ground, the axe coming up and over in a single clean arc, and he brought it down across the Tiger Woods' neck with maximum force, the impact shaking the grey trees on both sides of the path, shadow blood spraying dark across the soil.
TIGER WOODS HP: 5 - 5 = 0
The last Tiger Woods folded. Dissolved. Gone.
The forest went quiet.
The Codex pulsed once, twice, then blazed white overhead.
BATTLE COMPLETE.
WHITE — LEVEL UP
BLACK — LEVEL UP
SOUTH KOREAN OR CHINESE — LEVEL UP
MEXICAN — LEVEL UP
They regrouped where Connor was standing, all three of them coming back through the grey trees with the particular energy of people who had just done something and wanted credit for it.
Connor turned around the moment he heard their footsteps, his eyes leaving the creature for the first time in what felt like a very long time. He looked at the spot where it had been.
Empty. Just dark soil and cold air and the faint luminescent pulse of the nearest tree.
He exhaled once, long and slow, and turned to face them.
"Where the heck were you guys."
Zhang gestured broadly behind him. "Fighting Tiger Woods. Duh."
Connor stared at him. "Without me."
"You were busy."
"I was standing still staring at a wall—"
"A very important wall," Diego said. "Very critical staring. You did great."
"DIEGO—"
"Look." Diego held up a hand. "It doesn't matter. What matters is we're all level two now. That's the win. Focus on the win."
Connor opened his mouth. Closed it. Refocused. "Ok. Level two." He straightened up slightly, the professor tone coming back into his voice like it had never left. "So how do we check our stats."
Diego looked at him. "You tell us. Mr I Know Everything."
"That's not what I—" Connor stopped. Breathed. "Nevermind."
He turned to the empty air in front of him. "Codex."
The system window materialized, blue and quiet, its glow soft against the grey light of the forest. Connor scanned it. Most of it was locked, whole sections greyed out and inaccessible, but two things were visible. Inventory. And their names.
"Ok," Connor said. "Guys, just say Codex. You should be able to see your levels."
All three of them said it at the same time.
Three windows opened in the cold air of Valdenmoor, each one glowing faintly blue, each one different.
WHITE:
LEVEL UP — CHOOSE ONE ABILITY
Option A: Chaos Bolt — 1d6 damage, random element each cast, fire, ice, or lightning chosen at random
Option B: Shield — reaction spell, adds plus 5 to armor class until next turn, uses a spell slot
Option C: Detect Magic — sense magical auras nearby for 10 minutes, useful for reading the environment
MEXICAN:
AUTO UNLOCK: Divine Smite — when hitting with sword, spend a spell slot to add 2d8 radiant damage
AUTO UNLOCK: Spell slots begin — two level 1 spell slots available
CHOOSE ONE fighting style:
Option A: Protection — when enemy attacks an ally within 5 feet, use reaction to give that attack disadvantage, requires shield
Option B: Dueling — plus 2 damage when using one handed weapon
Option C: Great Weapon Fighting — when rolling 1 or 2 on damage dice, reroll once
BLACK:
AUTO UNLOCK: Reckless Attack — attack with advantage, but enemies gain advantage against you in return
AUTO UNLOCK: Danger Sense — advantage on dexterity saving throws against things you can see
SOUTH KOREAN OR CHINESE:
AUTO UNLOCK: Action Surge — once per rest, take an extra action on your turn
AUTO UNLOCK: Second Wind — once per rest, heal 1d10 plus level HP as a bonus action
Silence.
The four of them stood in the grey forest reading their windows with varying degrees of comprehension.
Diego spoke first. "2d8?"
Andre looked at his. "Dexterity?"
Zhang read his twice, then a third time, then lowered his arm slightly. "Wait. I can't even pick anything. What the hell bro."
Connor sighed. It was the sigh of a man who had been waiting for this exact moment and had prepared for it anyway. "Ok. Ok. Let me explain." He pushed his glasses up. "Diego, a dice roll like 1d4 means you roll one four sided die, so anywhere from 1 to 4 damage. 1d8 means one eight sided die, so 1 to 8. 2d8 means you roll two eight sided dice and add them together. That's what blew Tiger Woods apart back in chapter four."
Diego's eyes went slightly wide. "Oh. So I could do up to 16 damage."
"On top of your sword hit. Yes."
Diego looked at his sword. Looked back at Connor. Said nothing but his face said quite a lot.
"Andre." Connor turned to him. "Dexterity is basically how fast and coordinated you are. Agility. Reflexes. It affects how you dodge things, how quick you react, how well you move without thinking. Danger Sense means your body starts reading threats before your brain catches up. You'll feel things coming."
Andre considered this. Looked at his axe. Looked back at Connor. "So I'm built different."
"You were already built different. Now it's official."
"Hm." Andre nodded once. Satisfied.
Connor turned to Zhang. "And you're not getting a choice this level because archery works differently. Action Surge means once per rest you get an entire extra action on your turn. You can fire twice in one round. Second Wind means you can heal yourself mid battle." He paused. "You're not missing out. You're just loaded differently."
Zhang stared at his window for another second. "So next level I get to pick."
"Next level you get to pick."
Zhang closed his window. "Fine."
"Everyone good?" Connor looked between them.
"What do I pick," Diego said, still staring at his fighting style options.
"What do you want to do more? Protect people or hit harder?"
Diego thought about this for approximately half a second. "Hit harder."
"Dueling. Option B."
Diego selected it without hesitation.
Connor looked at his own window. Chaos Bolt. Shield. Detect Magic. Three options, all useful, all different, and the forest around them still dark and cold and full of things that hadn't found them yet.
He read them once more.