Outside the stable in Axel, with its ever-present stench of horse manure, the morning sun had barely begun to warm the ground when a twisted, soaking-wet thing, reeking of stomach acid mixed with mud, smacked against the door with a loud splat.
Kōichi and Kazuma had just changed into the luxurious silk robes they bought yesterday and were about to discuss whether to have truffle omelets or dragon-meat buns for breakfast when the violent impact made them both jump.
The door slowly creaked open, revealing Dust's face, which had once been fairly handsome, now swollen up like a freshly steamed purple bun.
His armor had been reduced to hanging scraps. The boot on his left foot was gone, replaced by a lump of hardened toad slime, and the wooden stick he had once been so proud of was now only a short stub.
"Kōichi... Kazuma..." Dust's voice was hoarse, like it had been scraped raw with sandpaper. Trembling, he reached out with a scar-covered hand and clutched desperately at the hem of Kōichi's robe, tears falling into the mud like pearls from a broken string. "Please... take them back... No, I'd rather join a suicide squad storming the Demon King's Castle, just please don't make me keep leading those three living disasters anymore..."
Kazuma took a large step back in disgust and clamped a hand over his nose. "Well, well, if it isn't Dust-sama, future richest man in Axel, captain of the dream team, heir to the sacred baptism. How'd you end up looking like this? Don't tell me making that thirty million came so fast your body couldn't handle it."
"Thirty million my ass!!" Dust roared in despair. He shouted so hard that a small chunk of half-digested grass flew out of his mouth. "The first day! That brat Megumin blew up an entire kilometer of forest with one Explosion, and it brought in three packs of enraged griffins! That idiot Aqua didn't even heal anyone. She climbed up a tree and started performing Nature's Beauty for the griffins, saying she was going to move them with her heart! I only got out alive because I took a griffin's claws straight to the face!!"
He wiped his nose and cried even harder. "The second day! I figured, fine, let's just go kill some Slime. That should be safe, right? But that knight, Darkness, has insane defense and still insisted on taking off her armor and diving into a pile of Slime! While she was at it, she kept yelling, 'Come on, ravage this lowly flesh as much as you like!' The Slime got so scared they all committed suicide on the spot! Not a single magic stone dropped!!"
Kōichi calmly sipped his hot cocoa and glanced sideways at him. "And the third day? Last night, we heard you fighting a Giant Toad from the restaurant. Sounded like you were all pretty lively."
The instant Dust heard the words Giant Toad, his whole body twitched violently, and he collapsed straight into the mud. "Last night... last night Aqua said she was hungry and insisted on sneaking into a toad nest to steal eggs... she got swallowed three times, and I saved her three times! In the end, she complained that the way I rescued her wasn't elegant enough and used Create Water to blast me into a shit pit... Kōichi-sama! Kazuma-sama! I'll take the eight million debt! I'll pay it off in installments! I'll be your cow, your horse, whatever you want! Please, I'm begging you, take those three demons back! If they stay by my side any longer, I'm going to awaken some kind of weird fetish and turn into a freak just like that knight!!"
Kazuma leaned close to Kōichi's ear, wearing his trademark sadistic grin. "Kōichi, look at him. The fish is completely out of water now. If we let go at this point, not only do we get a strong underling for free, we can also dump that eight million debt... heh heh heh."
Kōichi looked down at Dust sprawled in the mud, stripped so completely of dignity that he had even started trying to lick the mud off Kōichi's shoe, then thought of those three teammates who were troublesome but undeniably useful, at least under certain circumstances. He had already made up his mind.
"Brother Dust, you're really putting us in a difficult position here." Kōichi sighed heavily in feigned reluctance, handed his half-finished hot cocoa to Kazuma, then crouched down and looked straight into Dust's hollow eyes like a devil. "You have to understand, these past three days have been paradise for us. No screaming, no explosions, no perverted panting, and no blue-haired menace yelling every day that she wants sparkling wine. Taking back those three strategic-class disasters now would be like shoving us straight into a pit of fire."
Dust jerked his head up, his eyes burning with a nearly insane resolve. "Eight million! Put the whole eight million debt on me!! I, Dust, will pay it back even if I have to spend a year bathing trolls or ten years emptying chamber pots at the Succubus Shop! Just take them back. Right now, immediately, this instant!!"
"Deal."
Kōichi and Kazuma answered in perfect unison, so fast that Dust froze for a second.
Just then, three highly recognizable voices drifted in from the street outside the stable.
"Waaahhh! Where the hell did that bastard Dust run off to? He still hasn't bought my premium fried chicken! How dare he leave this Goddess behind and run off on his own! I'm going to use Create Water to blast him into the sewers and feed him to the rats!!" Aqua wailed at the top of her lungs, clutching her empty wallet.
"Hmph. So this is what a party leader amounts to? Hiding in a tree hollow because he was scared of a griffin's claws right when my Explosion was about to be unleashed. What a disgrace to adventurers." Megumin stood there with her staff, commenting haughtily.
"Huff... huff... well, actually, when Dust called me a useless meat shield last night, his expression was really perfect... If only he'd kicked me a little harder too... Ah, Kōichi? Kazuma? What are you two doing here?" Darkness looked at them with flushed cheeks and dreamy eyes.
The instant Dust saw the three of them, he let out a shriek like a startled kitten, then scrambled and rolled his way behind Kōichi, clutching desperately at Kōichi's robe.
"Kōichi! The contract! Quick, get the contract out! I want to stamp it! I want to stamp every fingerprint I've got!!"
Calmly, Kōichi pulled out a pre-prepared Party Membership Transfer Agreement from inside his robe and swiftly added a clause stating that Dust would assume the debt in full.
"Luna-san, you heard that too, right?" Kōichi called toward the shadows.
Luna stepped expressionlessly out from behind one of the stable pillars, still holding that long bill in her hand. "Yes, Kōichi-san. Since both parties have reached an agreement, Aqua-san, Megumin-san, and Darkness-san's debt liability will now be officially transferred to Dust-san. Current outstanding balance: 8,000,000 Eris."
"Thank God!!" Dust let out the happiest cheer of his life. Even though he had just taken on eight million in debt, the grin on his face looked as radiant as if he had just won a thirty-million jackpot.
He bowed deeply to the two of them, then vanished down the street without even looking back, moving with the speed of a man fleeing an explosion site.
"Huh? Why did Dust the walking ATM run off?" Aqua looked after the fleeing Dust, then turned to Kōichi and Kazuma. Her clear eyes were full of confusion. "Kōichi, Kazuma, why are you dressed so fancy? Don't tell me you got rich while this Goddess was gone? Hurry up! I want the most expensive dragon steak! And the finest sparkling wine!!"
Kazuma looked at Aqua's utterly shameless face, then at the Adventurer Card in his hand, the one that now read 0 debt, and slowly broke into a twisted but deeply gratified grin.
"Kōichi, even though the gates of hell have opened again, at least..." Kazuma patted his heavy wallet. "We're real big shots now. Hey, Aqua, you want steak? Go clean that stable over there first. If I'm in a good mood, maybe I'll reward you with a bone."
"Hah?! Kazuma Satou, how dare you speak to this Goddess like that! Kōichi! Do something about him!!"
Kōichi looked at the stable as it erupted into chaos once more, and as he felt that long-lost, trouble-soaked sense of everyday life return, the corners of his mouth couldn't help lifting slightly.