The atmosphere in the living room grew thick after Darkness's scandalous request.
Kōichi looked at the Crusader before him, a woman blessed with top-tier beauty even by the kingdom's standards, yet whose head was filled entirely with fantasies of being trampled on. A cold, sadistic smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
He knew very well that, loud as Darkness was with her demands, the moment someone actually made a move, her innocent young lady nature would instantly throw her into a flustered panic.
"Oh? Since you're begging so earnestly, I suppose I'll be merciful and grant your wish."
Kōichi walked slowly toward Darkness, each step landing in time with the frantic pounding of her heart.
He reached out and roughly gripped Darkness's chin, forcing her face, flushed with both anticipation and shame, up to meet his eyes.
"Listen carefully, Darkness. Since you want to be treated as a substitute, from this moment on, you are no longer the proud Miss Lalatina. You are just a tool for my amusement, a doll I use to ease my loneliness when Yunyun isn't here. Do you understand? Now, show me a face more fitting for a doll."
Kōichi lowered his voice, his warm breath brushing against Darkness's ear.
"Mmm... haah... A d-doll...? A declaration that strips me completely of my personhood... Ngh!"
Darkness's body gave a violent tremble, and the haze in her eyes instantly turned into panic.
She stared at Kōichi's face, so close and so aggressive. She had thought it would be some kind of painful punishment. She had never expected humiliation that struck straight at her soul.
The rationality she took pride in began to crumble. Her hands instinctively flew up to shield her chest as she protested incoherently.
"W-wait a minute... Kōichi... this is the living room... Kazuma and Megumin are watching... Something like this... something like this should at least be done... in a room where no one else is around... Aaaah!"
Just as Darkness was about to faint on the spot from sheer excitement and shame, a bright voice that completely ignored the mood exploded in the middle of the living room like a flashbang.
"Everyone!! Listen to me!! Let's go on a trip!!"
Aqua suddenly sprang up from the sofa, waving a gaudy flyer she had gotten from who knew where, her face shining with the radiant smile she only wore when she had found a sucker.
Kazuma Satou, who had been crouching nearby with a sleazy grin as he watched the show, nearly twisted his neck in shock. He snapped irritably,
"Hey! Aqua! Can't you see we're right at the best part?! What do you mean, a trip?! We only made money yesterday, and you're already thinking about how to spend it all today?!"
Aqua's sudden shout shifted the atmosphere in the living room in an instant.
Darkness, whose chin had been held by Kōichi and who had been so ashamed she seemed ready to evaporate on the spot, retreated a full step as if grabbing a lifeline. She clutched both hands tightly over her chest, and even her breathing inside her helmet grew rapid and uneven.
"A-Aqua is right!"
Darkness's normally heroic face was now so red it looked ready to bleed. Her gaze darted around, unable to meet Kōichi's aggressive eyes at all.
"As a knight, spending too long sunk in the decadent life of a mansion will wear away one's will! Exactly, I need a journey. I need to go... to an unfamiliar land and undergo all kinds of unknown trials and hardships! Arcanletia... It sounds like the perfect place for a deeply sinful person like me to train myself!"
Aqua looked a little panicked. Her eyes wandered as she nervously twisted her fingers together, desperately trying to hide the large words "Axis Order" printed on the flyer. Even her voice sounded unsteady.
"Y-yes! Training! That's exactly it! It's the famous City of Water and Art, with clear springs everywhere. I'm definitely not going because my headquarters is there, or because of some fanatical followers or anything! I just thought... I thought everyone has been working too hard lately and needs to cleanse their filthy... no, their weary souls!"
"I agree!"
Megumin raised her staff as well, her red eyes sparkling with excitement.
Kazuma Satou and Kōichi exchanged a look. At the same time, both of their faces took on the cold expression of men who had seen right through everything.
"Rejected."
Kazuma picked at his ear and flopped back onto the sofa with a dead-fish expression.
"A trip? How much is that going to cost? Carriage fare, lodging, and the premium sparkling wine Aqua is absolutely going to buy... We only got paid yesterday, and I haven't even had enough time to laze around in my huge luxury bed yet. Go by yourselves if you want. I'm staying home and living as a quiet shut-in."
Kōichi crossed his arms as well, his tone carrying a hint of teasing.
"I'm not interested either. Compared to going to some City of Water, I'd rather stay home and study how to train a certain doll to be a little more obedient. Right, Darkness?"
The moment Darkness heard the word "train," her body gave another violent, uncontrollable shudder.
"W-wait! You two bastards!"
Aqua stamped her feet in panic, tears welling in her eyes as she played her final trump card.
"Arcanletia has the best natural hot springs on the entire continent! And since it's a tourist spot, lots of the high-end inns there have special mixed-bath areas to attract guests! Don't you want to soak in a steaming hot spring with beautiful women and... hehehe..."
The room fell into a dead silence that lasted a full three seconds.
"...Mixed bathing?"
Kazuma sat bolt upright, his eyes suddenly shining as brightly as searchlights.
"...Hot springs?"
Kōichi stroked his chin as well, the sadistic grin on his face gradually turning bright and serious.
"Now that you mention it, we've been in this world for so long, spending every day fighting monsters just to make a living. We really haven't taken time to enjoy life properly. As the captain, I think Aqua's proposal is remarkably forward-thinking."
"Exactly! Activities that strengthen the bonds between comrades and cleanse both body and soul are absolutely essential!"
Kazuma Satou rose to his feet with righteous conviction, moving so fast it was hard to believe he was the same person who had just wanted to be a slacker.
"Money is only a worldly possession. Seeing our comrades smile happily in the hot springs, along with other things, is the greatest treasure an Adventurer can have! Aqua, go prepare the carriage immediately. We leave at once!"
"Ooh! Let's go!!"
Aqua and Megumin cheered.
Only Darkness kept her head lowered, suspicious gasps slipping from her lips as she imagined being cornered in the hot springs by those two depraved men, Kōichi and Kazuma.
Aqua rushed toward the stables like a blue whirlwind to prepare the carriage, humming an off-key little song praising herself as she went.
Meanwhile, in the corner of the living room, Kōichi and Kazuma Satou huddled together like rebels plotting to overthrow the kingdom, both pairs of eyes gleaming with the exact same sparkle known as a man's romance.
"Hey, Kōichi, you heard that, right? Aqua said mixed bathing, didn't she? She definitely said it!"
Kazuma Satou lowered his voice, his tone so urgent he sounded like he might run out of breath.
"Sure, you can only believe half of what that idiot Goddess says, but what if it's true? We're talking about mixed bathing here! It's the only oasis in this Fantasy World full of violence, poverty, and explosive magic!"
Kōichi solemnly patted Kazuma on the shoulder, his eyes filled with the wisdom of a man who had seen through the ways of the world.
"Kazuma, you're still thinking too small. Mixed bathing is nice, sure, but the real question is who you're bathing with. Aqua, Megumin, and Darkness are all undeniably easy on the eyes, but seeing them every day will lead to aesthetic fatigue sooner or later. Don't you think our travel party is still missing something... a more substantial element?"
Kazuma froze for a moment. Then a devilish grin spread across his face as understanding dawned, and he slapped his thigh hard.
"You mean... Wiz?! And Yunyun, who stormed off earlier?! Ooh! Kōichi, you really are a genius! If Wiz's downright illegal figure got into a hot spring... guh-heh-heh. And then add Yunyun, the most voluptuous member of the Crimson Demon Clan... This isn't a vacation anymore. It's a pilgrimage to Heaven!"
The two hit it off at once, breaking into waves of chilling, sleazy laughter.