Kōichi looked at the young couple before him, completely lost in their own romantic little world, then glanced at Aqua, who had her rear in the air as she rummaged under the table for expensive leftovers. He could not help feeling that his devotion to his duties as team captain was truly remarkable.
"I helped Kazuma get a girlfriend, and now I have to clean up after him too. I'm practically the saint of Axel."
Kōichi chuckled at himself, then his expression sharpened as he began putting his plan to clear the room into action.
He walked over to Aqua, pulled a check for an enormous sum of Eris from inside his clothes, and deftly twirled it between his fingers, producing a crisp rustle of paper.
"Hey, Aqua. Now that you've eaten your fill, how about continuing the celebration somewhere else? I heard downstairs that a new upscale tavern called The Chosen of the Gods has opened in Axel. Not only do they serve premium sparkling wine flown in from afar, but they also offer an unlimited dessert tower specially prepared for beautiful women."
Aqua instantly froze. She whipped her head around like a cat catching the scent of fish, her eyes shining brighter than crystals.
"The Chosen of the Gods?! Unlimited desserts?! Kōichi, have you finally recognized this Goddess's noble status and decided to worship me properly?!"
"Of course. This check is enough to keep you drinking until tomorrow morning. But there's one condition. You have to leave right now and enjoy your Goddess Night. You are absolutely forbidden from coming back and interrupting that wrestling match over there. Understood?"
"No problem! Leave it to me! Kōichi, you're such a good person. No, you're this Goddess's most devout follower! I'm going to drink that place dry! Hahahaha!"
Aqua snatched the check from him. Without even bothering to say goodbye to Kazuma, she vanished through the restaurant entrance in a blue blur.
With the biggest third wheel taken care of, Kōichi turned around and went looking for Darkness.
When he spotted her, he deliberately slowed his pace. His leather boots made heavy, muffled thuds against the carpet, each step seeming to land directly on Darkness's taut nerves.
He walked up behind the Crusader, lowered his head slightly, and spoke beside her flushed ear in a deep, judgmental voice.
"Darkness. You're standing here watching like an outsider... Being left out, ignored, and treated as nothing more than part of the scenery must feel very... pleasurable, doesn't it?"
Darkness trembled violently. She spun around, her eyes clouded with longing, and spoke in a faint voice that sounded almost like a plea.
"K-Kōichi... What are you talking about...? I was only... Ngh... Yes! The humiliation of being completely ignored... It feels incredible!"
"In that case, instead of standing here watching someone else's show, come somewhere with me."
Kōichi reached out and roughly seized the wrist beneath her expensive armor, forcibly dragging her out of her trance.
"Axel still has plenty of dangerous places at this hour. As captain, I need a meat shield capable of enduring all kinds of hostility and humiliation. Are you... willing to accept a date filled with uncertainty and the risk of public disgrace?"
"A d-date?! One filled with danger and humiliation?!"
Darkness's face turned so red that it looked ready to bleed. Rather than resist, she followed the pull of Kōichi's hand and pressed closer to him, nodding with an unfocused gaze.
"Please, take me with you! Whether it's an alley full of thugs or some strange tavern where I have to dance in front of everyone... As long as it's your order, Kōichi, I-I'll do anything!"
Kōichi looked at the masochistic Knight, now completely immersed in the fantasy, and a confident smile curved across his lips.
He glanced back at Kazuma, who was still hugging Megumin as though he never intended to let go, and thought to himself.
"Brother, this is as far as I can help you. From here on, it's private time for me and this perverted Knight."
Kōichi led Darkness through the streets of Axel late at night.
Despite the hour, the roadside stalls were still steaming with hot food. As the starting town for adventurers, Axel remained lively, with all manner of strangely dressed adventurers draping their arms over one another outside the taverns.
Kōichi did not take her anywhere luxurious or lavishly decorated. Instead, he deliberately chose narrow alleys crowded with all kinds of people and filled with the rough energy of everyday life.
Darkness's heavy, expensive silver armor gleamed beneath the moonlight, making her stand out sharply among the mercenaries around them, many of whom wore tattered leather armor or no shirts at all.
Quite a few passersby gave her admiring looks tinged with desire. Yet rather than taking offense, Miss Lalatina, who normally carried herself with such dignity, began breathing faster from the embarrassment of being ogled by such crude men.
Kōichi stopped in front of a street stall selling fried sweet potatoes. He casually bought two and placed one in Darkness's metal gauntlet.
He looked at the noble young lady, breathtakingly beautiful beneath the moonlight despite the expression on her face that practically begged someone to bully her, and suddenly spoke.
"Hey, Darkness. There's something I've always wanted to ask. You're the daughter of the Dustiness family, one of the greatest noble houses in the kingdom. Yet every day, you spend your time with unreliable people like us. We worry about whether we can afford our next meal, roll around in the wilderness, and somehow get dragged into ridiculous farces like this one. Don't you ever feel mistreated? All you have to do is nod, and you could be enjoying afternoon tea in a castle in the Royal Capital instead of standing here while a group of drunken men stare at you."
Darkness fell silent. She looked down at the steaming sweet potato in her hand, which even had a little dust on it, then raised her eyes toward Kōichi's, which seemed especially deep beneath the night sky.
After a moment, she suddenly revealed a dazzling smile tinged with a strange sense of satisfaction.
"Mistreated? What are you talking about, Kōichi?"
She took a small bite of the sweet potato, accidentally leaving a few crumbs at the corner of her mouth.
"Life in the Royal Capital was certainly elegant, but no one there would tease me without restraint the way you do. No one would create such hopeless disasters like Aqua does. And no one would ever... drag me through the streets in such a rough and forceful way like you."
She stepped closer until she was almost pressed against Kōichi's chest. Her voice dropped, trembling slightly with excitement.
"Those nobles are always polite to me. They treat me like a fragile work of art. But when I'm with all of you, I'm nothing more than a useless Knight with a zero hit rate, a hopeless masochist. Being treated like garbage, looked down on by my companions, yet still bound so tightly to them... To me, that is the greatest luxury of all! So please... please keep being this unreliable. Better yet, drive me into an even more desperate situation!"
Kōichi looked at her expression, which seemed on the verge of completely falling apart, and sighed helplessly. Then the corners of his mouth rose into a faint smile.