I should've known better. No one falls that fast without hitting something on the way down…
After the dance, I went looking for Will, still buzzing, still light in my chest like the music hadn't stopped yet.
I found him near the bar talking to two girls, blonde and brunette, both leaning in a little too close. I waited until they drifted off before nudging my elbow into his ribs.
"Hey," I grinned. "Find anyone you like?"
He glanced back dramatically. "Brunette with glasses. Kinda cute."
I laughed. "You really are into nerdy girls, huh?"
"You get some glasses, I might even fancy you too." He winked.
"Please. I'd still be out of your league."
"mmm."
For a second, it felt normal. Easy. Safe.
Then his expression shifted.
"Hey."
The softness caught me off guard.
"What?"
He looked at me properly now, not joking.
"You like him?"
I blinked. "Who?"
"Don't."
"Don't what?"
"Don't pretend."
I scoffed lightly, "You're being dramatic."
"I'm not."
That irritated me more than if he'd laughed.
"He's just fun."
"That's kind of the problem."
"You act like I'm about to ruin my life."
"I'm acting like I've known him longer than you have."
I crossed my arms. "I can handle myself."
"I know you can," he said immediately.
That threw me. "Then what's the issue?"
He hesitated before saying quietly, "Just don't confuse attention with affection."
The line landed heavier than I expected. Because I didn't think that's what it was.
Ryan didn't look at me the way he looked at other girls. He didn't touch me like I was temporary. When we danced, it felt deliberate. Focused. Like the room didn't exist. Will didn't see the way Ryan stayed close even when he didn't have to, the way his jaw tightened when other guys stepped near me.
This wasn't just attention, but I wasn't bold enough to say that out loud.
So instead, I rolled my eyes.
"Relax. I'm not stupid."
Will studied me for a second too long.
"I hope not."
That hurt more than the warning.
"I'm going to the toilet," I muttered, stepping away before he could read anything else on my face. He didn't stop me.
*
In the bathroom, I washed my hands slowly and stared at my reflection. My dark brown eyes looked brighter tonight. Alive.
I cared about Will, I knew he was trying to protect me. But protection always felt too close to control, and I had only just started to breathe, and I didn't want to trade one cage for another.
The music swallowed me the moment I stepped back out.
I hadn't meant to hear it. I was halfway across the floor when my name drifted through the bass, careless.
"I can't believe you're actually tied down," a girl laughed.
I stopped.
She stood close to him, too close, her hand resting against his chest like it belonged there.
"You're not serious, right?" she went on. "You're not even the same person anymore."
Ryan let out a quiet breath that almost sounded amused. "Relax. It's not like that."
My stomach tightened.
"We're just friends."
Friends.
The word didn't slam into me. It slid in colder than that.
I thought about the way he'd danced with me, focused and intentional. The way his hand always found my waist without hesitation. The way he leaned in close enough that I could feel his breath when he spoke. The way his eyes held mine longer than necessary. The way the space between us never felt like space at all.
Friends don't move like that.
Friends don't look at you like that.
Do they?
I waited for him to add something. To correct her. To make it clear.
He didn't.
The girl rolled her eyes and disappeared into the crowd.
I stood there long enough for my heart to feel louder than the music. Maybe I imagined it, or I built something out of tension, adrenaline and alcohol.
Maybe I was just another girl standing too close.
When I stepped forward, he turned immediately. His green eyes found me, and something flickered there, surprise, maybe something else.
"Hey," he said quietly. "How long have you been-"
"I was looking for Will," I cut in.
The lie tasted metallic.
He didn't call me out. The air between us shifted, careful now. His hand lifted slightly, like he was about to reach for me, then hesitated.
"I didn't mean-"
I stepped closer anyway.
Close enough to feel his warmth, close enough that he didn't move away and if he kissed me, I would stay.
If he didn't-
His gaze dropped to my mouth.
Then flicked back up.
Then away, that was enough.
I turned before he could finish his sentence, before he could choose, before I let myself stand there waiting for something he might never give.
*
By the time I reached my window, the buzz had turned into something sour in my stomach. I was halfway over the ledge when-
"Mei-Lin."
My blood ran cold.
My mother stood in the hallway light.
"Hey, moth-"
Her hand clamped around my arm and dragged me inside. My father stood in the living room beside a police officer, they thought something had happened to me, they had called the police.
Humiliation burned hotter than the alcohol.
After the officer left, my mother's voice dropped into something far worse than shouting.
"Where were you?"
"I was out with friends."
"What friends? You don't have friends."
I glanced at my father, he wouldn't look at me.
"I snuck out. I met a boy-"
The slap came fast and hard, my head snapped sideways and metal filled my mouth.
"Go clean yourself up," she hissed. "You ungrateful, disappointing child."
Her fingers dug into my jaw. "After this performance, you're done. No more dancing. Boarding school."
Boarding school.
Control. Isolation. Discipline.
Forever.
I ran.
Slammed my door.
Screamed into my pillow.
My phone buzzed somewhere nearby.
I ignored it.
I couldn't stay.
Rain soaked through me as I climbed down and ran. I didn't know if I was afraid of being followed or hoping I was.
The engine cut through the storm before I saw him.
Motorbike.
Skull mask.
Ryan.
He swung off the bike and pulled me into him without a word. I stiffened for half a second, then melted into the familiarity of it.
His thumb brushed my cheek. I winced.
"Who hurt you?"
"Mum."
Something changed in his eyes.
"I'm sorry," he said, pulling down his mask. "For being a dick. For not being clear."
Before I could think, he kissed me.
The rain vanished. The street vanished. The world narrowed to heat and breath and the way my fingers gripped his jacket.
When I pulled back, breathless, I whispered, "Take me with you. I don't care where."
He smiled slowly. "My pleasure."
He lifted me onto the bike. I wrapped my arms around him as the engine roared to life.
Will wasn't wrong but I did see another side of Ryan, wrong or right in that moment I didn't care.
This was supposed to be the beginning.
The moment I chose myself.
The moment I escaped.
But it barely started...
before the world went to shit.