"I was told I had no power, but I was reborn wreathed in frost."
❅❅❅❅❅❅
Death was peaceful.
I saw nothing.
Felt nothing.
Thought nothing—just blissful emptiness until I noticed the slow pull of something unknown. A beeping sound pierced the void—distant at first, then growing closer.
Louder.
Insistent.
Until the rhythm became everything, dragging me out of the darkness until finally, I opened my eyes. Blinding light assaulted my eyes and I snapped them shut again. What was that light?
I died—I remember the poison, the ice crystallising around me. I remember lying on that platform staring at them. So where were Asmodeus and Frostine?
Where am I?
I slowly crack my eyes open once more, squinting at the harsh brightness.
Nope.
Too bright.
I clench my fingers and feel soft sheets beneath me.
Sheets? I'm in a bed—but where? Which bed?
My eyes open a fraction. A white ceiling. Tilting my head to the left, I vaguely see a railing. Railing? I hadn't slept in a bed with a railing since I was a child in the paediatric ward of the Canberra Hospital. Beyond the railing stood blurry pieces of furniture—drawers, cupboards; hospital furniture. I close my eyes, trying to process everything.
I'm supposed to be dead.
I open my eyes again, everything much clearer, and tilt my head to the right. A large window with blue curtains. Outside stood a large tree, branches swaying with the breeze.
'Beautiful,' I whisper, tears filling my eyes.
I was alive.
I could feel my heart beating in my chest, smell the eucalyptus outside and the cold sterility of a hospital. I don't know why or how, but I lived.
A sob escapes my lips as the tears fall faster. Relief fills my mind as I wonder if my children are alright, if I could see them soon. But terror slowly creeps in as I think of what Asmodeus and Frostine might do to me now that I am alive and awake. Will I have to go through that torture all over again? I blink the last of the tears away.
No.
I promised myself that I wouldn't shy away ever again. If they want a fight, a fight is what I'll give them.
I raise my clenched hand, my voice determined.
'I am a Queen.'
I pause, confused. Why are my hands so small? And why is my voice so high-pitched? This isn't my voice—this is a child's voice. I slowly wiggle my toes before trying to sit up.
Push.
Flop.
I had no strength in my arms. I lift my hands again, this time focusing on my arms—so weak, so skinny! I can't remember the last time I was this thin. Maybe when I was a child?
A child's body… I'm a child.
My heart pounds at the seemingly impossible idea. But who am I? How? Nevermind those questions. They can wait. Only one truth remains: somehow, I've been given a second chance. The only questions now are, where am I and when?
I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
Eucalyptus.
Wait.
Eucalyptus?
I'm in Australia! I look out the window once more, the familiarity nagging me. Why does this feel so familiar? I wonder. Frowning, I try to sit up once more. After a five-minute struggle, I'm able to push myself up and look around for the bed remote.
There it is!
My body feels sluggish as I grab the white remote and raise the bed until I'm properly supported. Feeling more relaxed, I look around, now able to see better.
Two doors.
One's probably to the bathroom and the other, to the outside. So, I'm in a hospital, but which one? And where in Australia am I?
Something clicks, and the door opens.
My heart stops.
'Mamma?' I gasp.
A beautiful lady enters, dressed in gorgeous midnight blue with golden trims on her sleeves and bodice, long dark hair flowing down her back, identical to mine, and shining emerald green eyes.
This was my mother. But why was she here?
She's dead!
She died when I was ten! I watch as her eyes widen.
'Adira! You're awake!' She cries, rushing towards me.
She grabs my face, looking me over.
'How are you feeling? Are you alright? Do you need some water? Doctor! I need to call the doctor!'
She looks around for the call button. I frown, my mind swirling in confusion.
'What…happened?' I ask.
She pauses.
'Well, you were so sick we had to take you to the hospital. You've been unconscious for two days. What were you doing running around without your winter coat? It's May—you know how cold it gets. You're 10 years old, Adira. You know better.'
I look away, hoping my eyes didn't give away my emotions.
Fear, guilt and pure happiness filled my mind.
She was here!
Mamma was warm instead of that icy cold touch. Her lips were a beautiful shade of pink instead of blue, and she smelt of wildflowers instead of death.
'Sorry, Mommy,' I mumble.
The words slipped out before I could stop them. In front of her, I was still just her little girl.
'Just don't do it again, alright?' She whispers.
I could feel how scared she was as she hugged me tight.
I nod.
The doctor comes in and places a hand on my head. Warm, grass-green light spills from his fingers, enveloping me. He turns to my mother.
'Her Highness, the Princess, will be fine,' he says calmly. 'She just needs some rest.'
'When can she leave, doctor?'
'She can leave tomorrow. After her fever broke, she's healthy. She'll be a little prone to sickness if she doesn't stay warm, but otherwise, nothing's wrong with her.'
'Thank you, Doctor.'
The doctor leaves the two of us alone. Mamma clasps my hand gently, taking the bed remote from me. She lowers the bed gently, and fixes my bedding so I stay warm before sitting beside the bed.
'Rest now, sweetie,' she says warmly, placing a gentle hand on my head. She strokes my long black hair. 'I'll stay right here.'
'Mamma, can you sing me a song?'
'Of course. What do you want to hear?'
'The one you always sing.'
'Then close your eyes.'
I close my eyes, my ears drawn to her voice. I didn't feel the usual tension; the terror. Feeling her warmth, her touch and hearing her voice lulled me into a sense of security, and finally a peaceful sleep.
I woke up with a gasp, clutching my chest. I could still feel the pain as my body gasped for air from the poison. Looking around, it was dark.
Mamma was gone, taking her warmth with her. I wish the memories of my past life would disappear. I can still feel the pain of the poison, the terror of something happening to my children.
I look at my trembling hands.
'I really am a child,' I breathe. 'One. Two. Three. You're safe.'
I slowly calm down, and my mind began racing.
I'm 10. Mamma's still alive. I'm still me, so I regressed? Can magic do this? I don't think I've ever heard of time magic like this.
Speaking of magic, I have magic? But women aren't supposed to have magic. Am I the only one, or can other women do it too?
It seems I have ice magic, but that's so different from Father's. If Mamma doesn't have magic, then I'm an irregular…. But if Mamma does have magic, doesn't that mean I got my ice magic from her?
That's great!
I don't want magic like Father. I only want to be like Mamma.
I frown.
Okay.
Let's think about that later. Magic can wait. Am I in the past, or is this an alternate reality? What happened to my children? If this is the past, then if I don't marry Asmodeus, does that mean my children won't exist?
But if this is an alternate reality, does that mean my children might be suffering without me there to protect them?
No.
I can't think like that. I have to believe they're going to be alright. I need to focus on what's important right now.
That's becoming Queen.
I don't want to marry Asmodeus again, so I have to become Queen of Oceania.
First things first, what's important is Mamma. I remember the hospital. I remember Mamma…
Dying!
She's going to die in two months!
How do I stop it? Think, Adira! Think! What happened to Mamma?
All I remember is that she was suddenly poisoned one day…. I don't even know what poison it is. The day she was poisoned, I wasn't allowed to see her! Not even at her funeral.
It has to be one of the Queens, but who?
Father has five women in total. There's Queen Satine, Lady Kaitlyn, Lady Violet, Lady Rita and Mamma. I doubt it's Lady Violet or Lady Rita, so it has to be either Queen Satine or Lady Kaitlyn.
But which one? I wonder.
Is it one of them or both?
I knew they were close. Not like sisters, but in the scheming sense. They used each other; fed off each other. But apart from that, I didn't know what their dynamic was.
I shift to lie on my side, with a hand under my head. A knock on the door sounds.
'Adira, are you awake?' Mamma calls out soothingly.
I sit up.
'I'm awake, Mamma.'
She opens the door, food in her hand. My eyes light up at the sight.
'Are you hungry? I made you some food.'
'What did you make?'
'I made some of your favourites. You're still recovering, so I only brought something that was light. I know how much you love jook, so I made a chicken and corn one.'
'Yay! Jook!'
Mamma sets the food on the bedside table. She carefully opens the containers and hands me a spoon. I dip the spoon into the jook and blow before stuffing the spoon in my mouth.
'Mmm mmm,' I groan in happiness. 'So yummy!'
I missed Mamma's food. It was homey and warm. I watch her as I ate. Her green eyes were glowing with happiness, something I hadn't seen in such a long time.
Before, even when I was around her, she still had that sadness in her eyes that couldn't be hidden with a smile. It was something that made me wonder if I was enough for her. She would tell me stories of how wonderful my father was, but all I could remember was his ruthlessness and anger.
I could never understand why she was so devoted to him. I still don't. He is irredeemable.
I turn my eyes to the rest of her. Her arms and legs look so thin.
Was she always this small?
This petite?
She's too small. Sometimes I forget that Mamma's still in her 20's. She had me at 18, too young to carry and care for a child on her own. But that's what makes me love her so much.
She is so strong.