Upon hearing Alina's words, Max tried to take a deep breath. "That's it. Good job!" Alina said with an encouraging smile as she began to take deep breaths herself, helping Max match her rhythm.
After about ten minutes of Alina alternating between encouraging words and calming deep breaths, Max seemed to considerably calm down. His breathing had returned to normal and his body seemed to relax and Alina made a very slight move towards him, wondering if it was okay.
Upon getting a tired nod from Max, Alina jumped upon the sofa and wrapped her arms around Max. "It's okay. You're going to be okay." she repeated the mantra a few times until Max hugged her back and responded with a small, "It's okay."
Making sure that Max was safe, Alina rushed into the kitchen and brought a glass of water which Max gulped down with a grateful smile.
"I didn't know you had panic attacks." she said, as Max set down the glass of water. Max shook his head as he closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. "I don't. I think this was the first one." he said.
Alina nodded and carefully spoke in a small voice, "Did anything particular bring it on . . . . ?" She let the question hang in mid air since both of them knew what she was asking and there was no point in spelling it aloud.
Max looked like he had aged years as he said, "Nothing particular. I began to feel a little short of breath while I was sitting in our bedroom. I had been thinking about Alex, and everywhere I looked, I found him. The books he so loved to read, the little crossword puzzle he never got around to finishing, the blanket he used to wrap around when he was chilly. He was everywhere, yet, he wasn't there." Alina nodded, her throat choking up as Max continued, "There were just too many memories in the bedroom and I wasn't feeling well, so I came into the living room. And I just sat down here to cool off for a bit before going back. And even here, everywhere I looked traces of him lingered all around. I guess that's why . . . . ."
Alina just sat there, not knowing what to do as her heart ached for all that had been lost. Alex had been so loved, and now there was no place for all this love to go.
Max looked up at Alina after a few seconds and he said, his voice breaking, "I miss him so much Alina. I miss him so much I think I'm going to die." Alina gently scooted closer to Max and wrapped her arms around him. "I know Max, I know." she said, more to herself than to Max, as she began to gently stroke his hair.
Max seemed to like that as he slowly relaxed in Alina's arms. "Alex always did the same thing whenever I was feeling down or stressed. I guess you guys don't just look similar." Max said after a long pause, and Alina could hear the faint sound of his throat choking up.
"Yeah. Everyone thought we were identical twins when we were kids. It came as quite a shock when they found out we were dizygotic. " Alina added with a small smile on her lips.