"You think you can get away with what you did just because you're doing more hours of practice?"
Era stood there with her shame. She was caught off guard when Trez came literally out of the shadow and confronted her as she got out of the car.
She had tried her best to avoid him. Practicing for hours she knew he's not in the garage.
She changed her practice time as well, making it as spontaneous as she could, hoping not to meet Trez, to avoid this confrontation but here it is.
It's already past eleven. The breeze in the racetrack was humid. The asphalt smelled like a burnt tire drizzled with rain.
She didn't expect Trez tonight. She had a thought at the back of her head that he would come to her during the day, maybe calling for her in his office.
Not like this. Not storming right as she finished practicing, ready to go home—if home is free from waiting loansharks.
Nowadays, the only place that is safe from those people asking her to pay up is Dommie's salon.
It was a good thing that he wasn't asking why she always dropped at unexpected hours and asking for a place to sleep.
She went to Radiant Salon so often that Dommie no longer asked why she was there, he would just raise his brow and nodded her to go to the back office, for her to nap.
That was her only escape. And when she's in a car speeding.
"I didn't mean to avoid you—"
"But you did!"
Era covered a sneer by looking at the sole of her shoe.
"You're being overly dramatic, you know," she muttered under her breath.
She straightened her back when Trez clicked his tongue and looked at her with open annoyance.
He never does that. He's always smiling and most of the time that he would reprimand her there's always some teasing injected in between those scolding. She knew that he didn't want her to feel bad.
But not tonight.
Trez is royally pissed and she has no idea how to deal with his anger.
"Sorry." She mustered all the sincerity she could from her heart.
She looked up and met his eyes despite the fear.
And she felt relieved when she didn't see any hint of disappointment in his eyes.
Yes, he is angry. But his anger is to be expected. She was at fault. It's why she was avoiding him because she didn't want to admit her mistake.
Not because of pride or denying accountability for her actions.
It was because she could not change the way she's doing things.
She could not promise him to not act like a thief, tip-toing around because she had too.
She was running from so many things and people that she no longer felt safe if she kept a routine.
And she couldn't be honest with him about it. She didn't want to be a burden to the team.
Trez is so good to her that she feels guilty just to think that she will bring all the negativity in her life to the team and disrupt their work.
"You think that's enough? You think an apology is enough to explain how you've been acting these past few days?"
The sharpness of his tone was like a slap in her face that she lowered her eyes.
"No," she said in a small voice. "I know my shortcomings. I'm trying to make it up to you and the team by putting in more hours."
"But that's exactly what pisses me off!"
She straightened her shoulders like a cadet in a snap of a command.
She met his eyes and gulped down the anxiety in her heart.
"What?" She asked in confusion.
"But—"
"This is a race Era! Not just driving and breaking the speedometer of your car! How can you improve your game if you come here and drive like a maniac on the racetrack? You think I couldn't see you? You're driving like you're running away from some demons in your ass!"
"This is a team effort! There is money involved! There are people who are wasting time for you. Betting their hard-earned money and skills because they believe in you. I believe in you!"
She gawked at him speechless.
She could not find a word to depend on herself, to justify her actions which she believed to be the right thing to do just a few minutes ago.
Trez words were lashes of truth that hit her like cold water that cleared her head, making her see where she actually did wrong.
"If you just do things on your own how can you expect us to give you feedback? How can we see the area where you improved and what needs improvement? Are you here playing or you want to win?"
"I'm s-sorry."
"Don't cry."
Era had no idea she was already crying. That her cheeks were already covered with tears if Trez didn't ask her to stop crying.
The air between them suddenly became awkward.
She's not a crybaby. And Trez is not the type to lash out his anger in words.
When they both realized that they panic on how to make things as they are.
Trez shuffled his feet, shoving his hands in his pockets, and avoided looking at her face while she busily wiped her tears, silently cursing herself for shedding them.
"Uhm, I guess I forgot for a moment. I was so preoccupied I forgot what my goals were. I'm sorry."
"I'm your schedule is tight and you need to change your usual practice hours, you can tell me ahead of time," he said, clearing his throat.
The awkwardness is still heavy between the two of them. They have no idea on how to put on make up. They are like lovers in a fight awhile ago. And now they have no idea what to do next because they are far from being lovers and they never have a boss employee relationship as well.
"I'll remember that. Sorry," she said, walking away from the car.
She pulled down the zipper of her jumper and just walked towards the garage.
She heard Trez followed closely behind. She smirked.
She never imagined their first fight to be like this. And if she's going to be honest to herself, it's liberating and quite enjoyable.
Not because she wanted to be a headache for Trez but because it's been awhile since someone acted like an authority with her.
Since the hospitalization of her father she became the one in authority in her family, the one with default authority in the hospital, deciding on things she didn't want to make a decision on.
But she wasn't given a choice because she was the only choice.