11-11-2025 2:36 am
So umm... I been needing to get things off my chest for awhile, I prefer doing it this way instead of physically, I am fine with you all reading this since I have always been the type of person fine with reading diaries and fine with the idea of someone reading mine(I never had a diary before) so umm these aren't made up stories but what has happened to me I mean.
So at Harding middle school (yes I'm giving names because F)&+ it). It was a fine day but after the class period where I get to relax the teacher from that class said that I took a pack of cards, I was angry because she had no proof, I had played a card game with someone and when they got distracted helping a student(this someone was a helper teacher) I put the cards away and put it in side the desk, the desk had no interior or one added onto it but a hollow metal thing at the front where even the child hand of a well child would need to have their hand closed slightly and they would still be able to touch every edge. This was a simple and easy place to find the deck of cards so her immediately blaming me shown she never looked, the next day I found the cards right where I left them and showed them but they never apologized and I think they believed I took them but gave them back, from that day on I hated and stopped trusting Mrs.P. so umm thanks for reading, I been feeling overwhelmed and well been needing to say something for awhile, I will still feel wronged but it is nice to tell people about what I been through, I'm Autistic and such so.....so things for me have been different from others and sometimes more difficult than your average family....I hate mentioning my autism because it makes me feel like I am using it for excuses even when my autism is the reason for things, anyways I just....I don't know honestly....maybe I want to let people know what has happened to me, to scream it to the world.....thanks....for...for reading and....listening, have a good night..
11-16-2025 12:46 AM
So I had a dream a day or two ago, well a nightmare in truth. My brother ended up sick and needed to take a pill a day to keep the illness at bay then one day I woke up and his bed was empty, he died...I.....I needed to talk about it
11-24-2025
I had a panic attack well close to having one. I am stressed, I want to find a different job but though I hate the lack of a raise and how boring the job gets because of doing it so much I also have friends there, it is stable and though the owner is a cheap shake and a refuses to give me a raise I still want to work there. I am stressed too stressed, I.....honestly want to kill myself, say what you want that I'm lying or trying to get viewers but I can't deal with this. Disappointing people, making them work only for me to not go through what I said I would.....I.....I don't know what to do.
I am depressed, I know I should try to get a new job but the idea of going to a new workplace with people I don't know and trying to learn new things is making me sad, scared, I feel I'm not good enough, that Im too dumb with my autism and that I'm not good enough for things, I was actually considering taking a overdose of headache meds and I feel it all the time. The need to die to just go away.