"But as for the Council appointing Masters Du'mechsa and Taalo… I don't know, Master. They're capable; all Masters have to be," Obi-Wan said, drumming his fingers against his knee. He sat cross-legged on the bench across from Qui-Gon as they waited for Anakin to be finished with the testing. They'd meditated a little before falling into a rather involved discussion about who the Council was going to replace them with on the Naboo mission, which was why Qui-Gon had gone to see them so early. It was business that couldn't afford to wait.
"They've already assigned Master Ithara, who I think needs to brush up on his sense of tact," Qui-Gon grumbled. "But he is an excellent choice if you're trying to protect someone."
"Of course he is," Obi-Wan replied, grinning a little. "He is built like a refrigeration unit; just add some legs, arms, and eyes, and you've got Master Ithara. When I was an Initiate, I was terrified when he oversaw saber practice."
"Did he yell at you?" Qui-Gon asked, a look of surprise flashing across his face, and Obi-Wan shook his head.
"We never tried anything to see if he would. Master, I know it may be hard for you to remember, but think back to when you were under a meter in height," Obi-Wan said, watching a smile quirk on Qui-Gon's face. "And then imagine staring up at something that's the equivalent of an organic skyscraper, only its wearing a nasty scowl and waving around a lightsaber. Now you tell me. Would you not be frightened?"
Qui-Gon rolled his eyes, but he grinned. "Let's hope this hallway doesn't have voice pickups," he said and Obi-Wan glanced around.
"It's only visual. I remember seeing the security plans once," he said, his mind flicking to the incident, and thankfully, common sense kicked in before he said any more. "Or at least I think I did. But what do you think of Master Sherizyl? I think she'd work well with the queen and the handmaidens, and she's good at mediating."
"Well, I think her saber-work needs some definite polishing," Qui-Gon said, stroking his beard as he thought. "But if we assign someone like Master Ithara as her partner, who has exceptional saber skills, it would be a good balance."
"I agree," Obi-Wan said. "And though I think pairing her up with that block of a being is rather cruel, they do balance each other out. Unlike Masters… oh, say Ootara and Edily."
Qui-Gon threw back his head and laughed. "Those two fools? They couldn't work together long enough to find their way out of a storage locker, let alone protect a queen. No, I think we'll leave them to their Archive work, or whatever utterly minor task the Council has them working on."
"It's too bad most of the already well-balanced Masters are either away on missions or taking a much-deserved rest," Obi-Wan said, leaning back against the wall. "Then we wouldn't have to bother with this nonsense; we could just stick five or so of our best around Queen Amidala."
"I'd be careful of that, padawan," Qui-Gon said. "Remember the saying…"
"Too many cooks spoil the Sulmarian stew," Obi-Wan recited. "Yes, Master, I'm aware that many of the Temple's most brilliant Masters are better left to work on their own. After all, you never work with another Master if you can help it, and when you do, you're moody and sullen."
"Only because most of the partners I get are the most brainwashed, by-the-Code at all times, we-must-obey-the-Council type Jedi that I'm torn between Force-suggesting them to sleep the entire mission or simply handing in my lightsaber," Qui-Gon replied, folding his arms over his chest.
"And yet you continue to take me along on every mission," Obi-Wan said, shaking his head. "After all the times I chided you, my own Master, about the Council and following the Code, you still kept me around. Sometimes I'm surprised I'm not dead, considering how much I've nagged you about it."
"There were some moments I considered it," Qui-Gon said, completely straight faced. "But the thought of a premeditated murder charge on one of the most distinguished Jedi Masters was enough to convince me it wasn't worth it."
"And of course not once did the thought that you might actually like your padawan stay your hand," Obi-Wan quipped. "Nice to know I'm worth more than life in prison, I suppose."
"What can I say?" Qui-Gon said, shrugging a little. "You make some mean desserts and you're handy when missions inevitably go sour. Other than that, your uses are few and far between."
"I love you too, Master," Obi-Wan drawled.
"Good to know," Qui-Gon replied, finally grinning, and he reached out to tug on Obi-Wan's braid. "I'll have you know that you drive me to it, my insolent padawan."
"As if I'm really capable of forcing you to do-"
Obi-Wan froze mid-sentence when a familiar presence flared in his mind, but it took him a moment to realize that it was coming from the bond that had formed with Anakin.
"Padawan? What's wrong?"
"It's Anakin," he said, his gaze turning to the doors to the Council room. They could hear nothing, but such was the design; the doors were soundproof.
Still, he couldn't sense anything wrong through the Force; none of the Masters were alarmed or worried, for example. As far as he could tell, it was a normal Council meeting, complete with twelve serene Masters and one slightly nervous subject.
So why had the bond flared to life in warning?
"I think something's happening to him, but I can't tell what, as it-"
He stopped as he gasped, panic rolling through the bond in waves before being roughly silenced, and Obi-Wan jerked to his feet.
"What happened? What did you sense?" Qui-Gon asked, standing as well and catching Obi-Wan's arm before he could race towards the door.
"Couldn't you feel it?" he asked, deciding to open both bonds as much as he was able, and with the next flare of panic, he heard Qui-Gon gasp.
"We have to get in there, Master. Something's going wrong, and the Council doesn't realize it. What are they doing, anyway? What would cause Anakin to react like this?"
Qui-Gon shook his head. "I'm not sure. They didn't tell me of their plans, but it almost feels like-"
There was another burst of panic, only this time it was accompanied by a powerful twist of pain that made Obi-Wan clutch his head, his fingers digging into his scalp and his teeth gritting as he weathered the wave.
Dear Force, what is going on?!
"It feels like someone's invading his mind," Obi-Wan whispered once the pain subsided, and he glanced up at Qui-Gon for confirmation.
"But why would the Council do that? Is it part of their normal test for young children?" he asked before Qui-Gon could respond, and he watched his Master shrug, his brow knit in worry.
"I really don't know, padawan. The Council rarely explains itself-"
Obi-Wan cried out, falling to his knees as a second, stronger wave of pain crashed into him, and he slammed up shields over his bond with Qui-Gon so as one of them might remain coherent. His mind felt like someone was picking it apart piece by piece, turning over each section with very little care, and he could taste blood as he bit into his cheek to keep from screaming.
A third wave hurtled into him before he could protect himself and he swore that his head was going to burst, that it was splitting down the middle. The world spun around him, the blues mixing and swirling with the white dots that danced across his vision, and he shuddered.
His back arched as a smaller, yet no less potent wave rippled towards him, his nerve endings twanging and hissing as it danced over his body, and part of him wondered if the shrieks he heard were from his own throat or in his mind.
"…Obi-Wan!"
He blinked up at his Master through a subsiding haze of pain, and realized Qui-Gon was shaking him roughly, demanding he shield himself entirely. He did as his Master asked, getting one up just as another wave came. It broke harmlessly on the shield, allowing Obi-Wan a chance to pull himself together.
"Padawan, look at me," he heard Qui-Gon say, and he blinked up at the Jedi. "What's my favorite spice to add to tea? Can you tell me that?"
"Trick question," he murmured as Qui-Gon helped him sit upright, though his head still spun. "You take tea as tea, nothing added but water and leaves, and as dark as you can get it."
"Good, you still sound all right," Qui-Gon said, and Obi-Wan lowered the shields over the bond with Qui-Gon so he could run a quick scan to assess his padawan's health.
"No lingering damage," Qui-Gon said at last. "Now if we could only figure out what was going on-"
Anakin screamed.
Obi-Wan froze, his gaze snapping to the door. Though he hadn't heard it, as the doors never let any sound through, he certainly had felt it. Anakin's terror came barreling through the bond and Obi-Wan's control snapped.
He was on his feet in a heartbeat. He raced forward, his gaze narrowing on the obstruction before him. Though the only traditional way in was to comm the Senior Jedi, Obi-Wan didn't care. He waved his hand and the doors flew open.
-Obi-Wan, WAIT!-
Qui-Gon's mental shout went completely unheeded and he rushed into the Council chambers. Obi-Wan dimly noted the way everyone turned to look at him in surprise, as most of the Masters were standing, but his gaze quickly snapped to the small figure huddled in the dead center of the room.
Anakin!
Obi-Wan tore forward, shoving a Master out of the way as he sprinted towards the fallen boy. Horror filled him as he slid to his knees beside the shivering figure, and he reached out to touch Anakin's shoulder tentatively.
He drew back when Anakin uttered a plaintive whimper.
What have they done to you?
Obi-Wan struggled to hold his rising anxiety in check, releasing it quickly to the Force, and he opened himself fully to their bond. It was newly solidified by the boy's feelings tearing through it and Obi-Wan worked to wrap a comforting presence around Anakin's shuddering mind.
-Anakin,- he sent powerfully, hovering at the very edges of their link so as not to alarm the boy's already frazzled instincts. He could feel the destruction wrought upon Anakin's mind and his gut sank in trepidation.
What the blazes happened?
–Ani, can you answer? Can you even hear me?-
Another shiver answered him and Anakin drew further into himself.
-Ani, it's me. It's Obi-Wan,- he sent again, projecting as much warmth as possible, trying to coax the boy out. –Everything's going to be all right now.-
Hurts, came the tiny whisper, submerged deep within the devastated layers of his mind, and Obi-Wan stilled when a chill settled on his shoulders.
Why had the Council done this? Why had they torn apart Anakin's mind?
Why hadn't he been able to stop it?
I'm failing all over again, he thought, unable to stave off the grief that surged forth, choking him and slicing across his heart. How was Anakin ever going to trust him after this? Obi-Wan told him the Council wouldn't… he would think Obi-Wan had lied…
He's never going to forgive me.
-Of course it hurts, Ani,- Obi-Wan sent softly, trying to shake his dark thoughts. Here and now, he chided himself. He would worry about it once he was certain Anakin was all right.
Obi-Wan finally reached down to touch the boy, fighting off the anxiety that once again grew within him. Anakin certainly tensed when he was rolled over, but his eyes cracked open, trying to focus on the person before him.
"I'm here, Ani," Obi-Wan whispered, his voice shaking slightly. "It's going to be all right now. No one's going to hurt you."
He felt Anakin struggle to recognize him, and Obi-Wan tensed. He reached tentatively for their bond, trying to prove he wasn't like the Council that had caused Anakin so much pain, trying to show he had never meant for Anakin to be injured-
–I'm here, and I'm going to protect you. I don't care what I have to do,- Obi-Wan sent, his jaw clenching and his fingers curling into the fabric of Anakin's shirt. –They won't hurt you again.-
Anakin shivered as the thoughts registered and he rolled towards Obi-Wan. His tiny hands snatched up the fabric of the tunic and his face pressed against Obi-Wan's chest.
-There, there, young one,- Obi-Wan sent, wrapping his arms around the boy and bowing his head so that his cheek rested atop Anakin's head. His tension swiftly uncurled, dissipating into the Force, despite the small kernel of fear that ate at him.
Would Anakin ever trust him again?
Stop that! he told himself, clutching the boy tightly, and he shut his anxieties away.
-Forgive me, Ani,- he whispered through the bond. –I should have been here, to keep this from happening.-
Anakin merely whimpered in pain. Still hurts, he whispered, and Obi-Wan's heart clenched.
-I know, Ani,- Obi-Wan sent, shutting his eyes. –Everything will be all right. You're safe now.-
He felt Anakin stir against him and Obi-Wan lifted his head to find the boy blinking up at him in confusion.
"Obi…Wan?" Anakin whispered, reaching up slowly to touch the Jedi's face.
"I'm here," he replied and Anakin collapsed against him, shuddering slightly and tucking his head under Obi-Wan's chin. "I told you I would be."
"I… know," Anakin said, curling into Obi-Wan's firm embrace. "I'm… safe…"
"Yes, you are," Obi-Wan said, swallowing around the lump in his throat. "I promise."
I am not going to fail a second time. I'll protect you, padawan, no matter what. I'll be the father you needed. I won't let you fall.
"I promise."
"Obi-Wan?"
He glanced up at the sound of his name, meeting Qui-Gon's curious gaze. The man crouched beside him, his eyes flicking from Obi-Wan to Anakin rapidly, and Obi-Wan sensed his deep concern.
The other Masters stood in a loose ring around them, concern, fear, and he wasn't sure what else present on their normally stoic faces.
-I need to get him to the Healers, Master,- Obi-Wan sent, trying to show Qui-Gon the extent of the damage he'd sensed, his temper piquing at the memory. –What were they doing? Were they trying to hurt him?-
Qui-Gon's face wrinkled in a faint frown. –Don't jump to conclusions, padawan, and calm yourself. This has to be an accident.-
Obi-Wan sat up, his jaw dropping. -An accide-!-
The thought was cut off when a Master cleared his throat, and Obi-Wan turned his gaze in the direction of the sound. His indignation flared when Mace stepped forward to speak.
"What were you doing?" Obi-Wan bit out, cutting off any statement the Senior Jedi might've made. "Has it become common practice for the Jedi to destroy the mind of a child? This is a disgusting way to determine who is unfit to be trained!"
-Padawan?- came Qui-Gon's flicker and Obi-Wan could feel his attempt to ease some of the anger building up in his apprentice.
Calm down. Obi-Wan shuddered, shutting his eyes for a moment as he worked to control himself. He blew out a breath and drew himself up, his eyes opening as they snapped to Mace. He watched the Senior Jedi take an imperceptible step backwards, a startled expression appearing on his face.
"What were you thinking, rifling through his mind so rashly?" Obi-Wan began again, his voice dropping to the temperature of space-frozen durasteel. "Why couldn't you sense the results of your actions?"
He glanced around the room, his frigid grey gaze piercing each Master in turn. His eyes shone with displeasure and revulsion, and they made several of the Masters draw a sharp breath of surprise and pull away.
"Such behavior is disgraceful," he continued disdainfully, ignoring the stares he received. "You are twelve of the finest Jedi in the Order, and yet through your utter negligence and lack of foresight, you nearly destroyed the mind of an innocent child."
Obi-Wan looked around again, frost hanging in the air around him. "Whose idea was it? Who decided it was necessary to break down Anakin's shields?"
-Padawan!-
Obi-Wan started a little at Qui-Gon's shout, his gaze flashing as it snapped to his Master. –What?-
Qui-Gon was staring at him with the most stunned expression Obi-Wan had ever seen the Jedi Master wear. –First of all, you can't just start berating the Council like this. Yes, they were out of line in their treatment of Anakin, but you're not giving them the chance to explain themselves. They wouldn't have done this intentionally.-
-Oh, and I suppose that they didn't notice the terror and pain rolling off Anakin in waves? That they thought absolutely nothing was wrong?- he snapped, glaring at Qui-Gon, who raised an eyebrow. The action only succeeded in fanning his temper. –I heard him screaming, Master, and after feeling the damage they caused… how could they not have noticed?-
-Padawan, while I don't disagree with you, you are letting your anger control your actions. Calm down and let me handle this. I am the Master in this situation, and as amusing as it is to see a padawan treating the Council as though they are a bunch of unruly Initiates, I'm afraid they don't share my sentiments,- Qui-Gon sent, along with a healthy dose of calming Force-suggestion, which did make Obi-Wan let go of most of his anger.
"Forgive me," Obi-Wan said, though it was through clenched teeth, and he shut his eyes. "I never expected the Council would do something so appalling."
"It was not our objective, Padawan Kenobi," Mace said, an icy note to his voice, and Obi-Wan's gaze snapped to the Jedi. "I could not sense anything from the boy that would've given me a reason to stop. As far as I could tell, he was calm and relaxed."
"Then you weren't looking," Obi-Wan said, starting when a jolt from the Force slammed his jaw shut. He realized that Qui-Gon had done it before he could say anything more.
-Stop digging a deeper hole, padawan,- his Master sent sternly. –You're already in a big enough one as it is.-
-I can't help it! The Council is failing Anakin just like they did before, and they don't seem to realize that they need to gain his trust!- Obi-Wan finally shouted over the bond, his temper getting the better of him, and he watched Qui-Gon start from the intensity. –They're being as arrogant and as foolish as ever, considering all sides but not trusting their feelings when they lead them away from the Code! Why did they even have to poke around in Anakin's head? Couldn't they have just asked him questions?-
"You must forgive my padawan," Qui-Gon said as he rose to address his fellow Masters. "He hasn't been himself lately and he means no disrespect."
There was a sharp flash over the bond and Obi-Wan dropped his gaze, his jaw clenching as he stared into space. Was this how Anakin had felt every time Obi-Wan had ignored his arguments? Had he seethed with indignation, his mind screaming over the injustice?
"Now Mace," Qui-Gon said, "please tell us what happened."
Obi-Wan felt the Senior Jedi's gaze flick between him and his Master before he returned to his seat, motioning the other Masters to do the same.
"We performed a scan on young Skywalker," Mace said at last, and Obi-Wan felt his gaze settle on Anakin, who curled against Obi-Wan, their bond whimpering. "We asked his permission, and he gave it to us. We told him to relax then, in order to make the scan easier."
"And then what happened?" Qui-Gon asked and even Obi-Wan perked up, unable to control his curiosity. "What went wrong?"
"Nothing went wrong," Mace replied, frowning lightly at Obi-Wan, who couldn't help the cool gaze that had fixed itself on the Senior Jedi. "Anakin relaxed perfectly and we went ahead, looking through his memories to get a feel for his personality. It wasn't until the end that we noticed he was siphoning his pain away, and then we retreated as quickly as we could, but not before his control failed. The damage you saw, Padawan Kenobi, was most likely from his suppressed feelings raging free."
"Why couldn't you sense he was hiding something?" Obi-Wan said before his Master could stop him, his tone glacial and his ire rising once more. "He's just a child; his attempts to hide his pain should have been obvious."
He heard Qui-Gon groan over their bond, and Mace was outright staring at him, but he didn't care. His grip tightened on Anakin when the boy shifted slightly. "Even if you do decide-"
-…Obi…Wan?-
He froze at the soft mental whisper that drifted along his bond with Anakin, and his gaze flicked downwards to find the boy peering up at him with slightly unfocused eyes.
"You…'re…upset," Anakin murmured, though everyone in the chamber could hear it. "Calm…'kay? Like…told me?" he said before snuggling against the Jedi, who felt as though someone had doused him with ice water. The memory of their conversation yesterday, the one about the fight he'd pulled Anakin away from, rolled through the link, squelching his animosity easily.
"Jedi…'re…calm," Anakin said thickly and Obi-Wan bowed his head, wrapping his arms more securely around the tiny figure cradled against him. "Said…no anger. So… no anger."
"No anger," he echoed, nodding a little in agreement and shutting his eyes, his emotions steadily draining into the Force.
"I'm sorry, Ani," he whispered, a small chill dancing down his spine. "I forgot."
"'Sall right," Anakin replied, touching his forehead to Obi-Wan's chin, who could sense the boy's weary smile. "Everybody forgets stuff."
"Hm," a familiar murmur interrupted and Obi-Wan opened his eyes to find Master Yoda standing close by, his green eyes studying them. Under the scrutinizing gaze, Obi-Wan let the last of his anger swirl into the Force, breathing in a calming breath, and watched as Master Yoda nodded a little in approval.
"Protective you are, Padawan Kenobi, to the point of extreme disrespect, though justifiable, your reaction is," he said once Obi-Wan had finally regained control. "Sensed the pain, we should have, but hid it well, young Skywalker did."
"Please forgive me, Master Yoda," he said, bowing his head. "Masters of the Council. You did not deserve such a reproof from me."
"Like Qui-Gon, you are," Master Yoda replied, smiling a little. "If altered the roles had been, react much the same towards us, he would. Protective of his children, he is."
There was an embarrassed huff along the bond and Obi-Wan almost smiled.
"But tell me you must, Padawan Kenobi. How came you to know of young Skywalker's plight? When we, twelve of the finest Jedi you say, could not?"
Obi-Wan looked away, his gaze dropping to the yellow tile of the sunburst. "I could feel it, Master Yoda."
"He and Anakin have unknowingly formed an empathy-bond," Qui-Gon added, and Obi-Wan kept his gaze down, part of him suddenly kicking himself. Hadn't he been trying not to draw attention to himself?
"And it has been growing stronger with each passing day."
"Hm," Master Yoda replied, before hobbling forward and poking Obi-Wan in the shoulder with his gimer stick. "Become more like your Master, you certainly have, young padawan. Stand up to us you do, without any fear."
Obi-Wan blinked at him, before glancing at Qui-Gon in confusion. Was Master Yoda actually pleased by that fact?
"Glad I am, that formed this bond has," Master Yoda continued, his gaze dropping to Anakin, who'd buried his face in Obi-Wan's tunic. "Lightens his future, it does, though certain how, I am not. If a particular padawan would shield him no longer, sense more I could."
"I… what?" he asked, watching Master Yoda raise a bushy eyebrow. "Forgive me, I didn't realize."
He worked to drop the defenses he'd unconsciously placed around Anakin; it was a habit from his memories, from when the boy had been his padawan.
"Hm, powerful shields you have, Padawan Kenobi, to have hidden from me so much," Master Yoda murmured, watching the Anakin curiously. "Darkness, I sense, yes. And much anger. But clouded it is; hides his future, the Force does. Tell whether it comes from him or merely around him I cannot."
"How are we to proceed then?" Mace asked, peering at them.
"Discuss this, we will," Master Yoda replied. "But first, send young Skywalker to the Healers we must."
"Obi-Wan and I will take him, Master," Qui-Gon said, and Master Yoda gave him a smile. "It will give us an opportunity to discuss his behavior towards the Council today."
"Yoda and I will call upon you later, then," Mace said as Obi-Wan stood, holding Anakin's limp form against him tightly. "We will inform you of the nature of our discussion and talk to you about your feelings considering our choices for your replacements on the Naboo mission."
"Until then," Qui-Gon said, bowing slightly, and Obi-Wan forced himself to bow from the waist in the manner of a subdued padawan, his gaze not once wavering from the sunburst below his boots. "May the Force be with you, Masters."
Obi-Wan followed Qui-Gon out of the chamber, feeling the Council members study his retreating form. He knew they would discuss him the moment he left, but what could he do to stop it? Not only had he unknowingly flaunted shielding skills no normal senior padawan would have, but he had also lost his temper again; he could only hope the Council didn't find him completely unfit to remain a Jedi.
Don't concern yourself with it, a part of him whispered. Even if they do somehow manage to throw you out, you've achieved Master status once. You already sat among them, trying to manage a war that Jedi were unfit to handle. Do you really want to live that path again?
No he didn't. Sitting on the Council had been meaningless, in a way. As much as he hated being in massive battles, he'd felt that much more useful as a General, able to make a difference by saving lives through superior strategy.
He remembered that the last time he'd been this age, it had been his dream to one day sit on the Council, fearing in the deepest corners of his mind that they would overlook him because he'd been the padawan of an unorthodox Master. He'd known that Jedi were supposed to be content with their places, so he'd done his best to release that dream, telling himself it was enough to be a padawan, and then a Knight, in the first place, but once Anakin had been knighted and they'd asked him to join the Council, he'd been absolutely elated.
He hadn't really understood what that meant until it was too late. He hadn't realized just how many tedious meetings he would be forced to attend, or how many ridiculous duties he'd have to fulfill, and though he still went on missions, he had to take time out of every day to contact Coruscant. He'd gotten used to it after a while, but some part of him still longed to be just a plain old Master again, and not a Council Master.
I don't blame Qui-Gon for acting rebellious, if it meant never having to turn down a Council invitation, he thought, only part of him registering the flip in his stomach as they boarded the lift down and it began its decent.
No, he decided, it wouldn't be so bad if the Council decided to release him. He wouldn't be forced to go somewhere he didn't want, for example, as he'd been a legal adult for many years now. He could find something else to do, perhaps as a bodyguard for Queen Amidala, as she would certainly need it in the years to come. Being a Jedi was his life, certainly, and the only one he'd ever known, but he had to prepare for any event, be it good or bad.
He also knew that if the Council decided to kick him out, Qui-Gon would fight their decision for as long as he could. If Obi-Wan left without a fight though, Qui-Gon would be free to train Anakin. He knew he would miss them terribly, but he'd be willing to give up his place with them if it meant Anakin would receive proper training this time around.
Perhaps they'll refuse to train Anakin, just like before, a small part of him whispered. Then, if they decided to revoke your Jedi status, Anakin would have a friendly face to keep him company. You could adopt him, keep them from sending him to the AgriCorps…
The thought danced through his mind, his arms unconsciously tightening around the boy. Would they let him do something like that?
Why should they have any objections, part of him countered? He understood Anakin better than any Council member or any AgriCorp farmer ever would, having already raised the boy once. They hadn't been extremely close, but Obi-Wan had still come to realize what normally motivated Anakin.
Granted, he hadn't understood his former apprentice's final decision, but he didn't think he ever would.
You could start a life away from the Temple, the little voice continued, on a planet with lots of water and greenery, and start some kind of business to raise the money to free Anakin's mother… the possibilities are endless.
His vision blurred then and the sound of lapping waves reached his ears, along with the musical calls of various birds and the wind as it whispered through the trees. He breathed in the fresh air of mountains, his eyes opening to see the bluest sky, big, puffy white clouds drifting lazily across it…
"Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan, look!"
He stood on a balcony, leaning on a railing as his gaze drifted over the green mountains surrounding the great blue lake before him, and he glanced down to see a boat speeding across its surface.
"My mom's back from shopping! Let's go meet her!"
"Padawan!"
Obi-Wan opened his eyes to find Qui-Gon frowning down at him in concern. "I've been speaking to you for the past few minutes, trying to get your attention. Why are you shielding the training bond?"
Was he really? Yes, he'd done it again without realizing it, and part of him huffed in frustration. Was he ever going to be allowed any privacy?
"I'm sorry, Master," he said, dropping his gaze and relaxing his shields.
"It's all right," Qui-Gon said with a small sigh, as though he knew Obi-Wan didn't really mean it. "Those visions of yours have changed you so much, padawan, I almost don't recognize you. When have you had the will to insult the Council so blatantly? From the way you kept reminding me to follow their instructions, I always thought you idolized them."
"The Council has done many things I wouldn't agree with, Master. You know that," he replied, and earned an exasperated look.
"Of course I do, padawan, but why don't you enlighten me?" Qui-Gon replied, his tone almost mocking. "And while you're at it, would you care to tell me what you meant by the Council failing Anakin a second time? As far as I can make out, he's only just met them."
Had he, really? Obi-Wan frowned a little before grimacing. Sure enough, he'd let that slip.
Sithspit, he muttered, feeling more and more irked with himself over the entire Council situation. Why had he lost control so badly? In all the years he'd been a Jedi, not once had he been as angry as he'd been in the chamber. He had been able to control his emotions perfectly and appear as calm and serene as ever.
So what had changed?
The lift reached the main floor and he was barely aware of disembarking and heading down a familiar corridor that led to the Temple Healers.
Well, he had changed; he wasn't Padawan Kenobi. He wasn't his twenty-five year old self, no matter how hard he tried to go back to it. He couldn't act like a normal padawan any more, as he hadn't been one for thirteen years, and part of him twitched in irritation each time Qui-Gon tried to pull rank with him.
I'm a Master, for Force sakes! the part railed, as it was doing now.
Then start acting like it, another part of him snapped, rolling its eyes. No self-respecting Master would've lost his temper as you did back there. You said you had perfect control; where has it gone? You're lucky they were too stunned to dish out a punishment.
Besides, what would they do to punish him if they decided not to throw him out? Make him teach classes? Send him to work in the kitchens, or do extra meditation? Maybe see someone to get extra help with his temper, which part of him ruefully admitted that he did need to work on?
Why was he having so much trouble with it, anyway? It hadn't been this bad since before Qui-Gon had taken him as an apprentice.
My memories are the problem, he realized with a start. I watched everything spiral out of control, had countless lives slip through my fingers as I tried to save them, and then got tossed off a catwalk by someone I loved like family. Instead of trying to slog through all those emotions, I've been hiding them away, just as I did with all of Qui-Gon's things after he died.
He'd endured events the Jedi around him had no inkling of, seen most of them strewn about the halls, killed by invading clone troops. The ones killed by Vader hadn't even been unidentifiable, their faces mutilated and their bodies hewn across the Temple grounds. Obi-Wan had barely been able to stand walking through the hallways of his beloved home, surveying the damage.
It had been atrocious.
To think Vader killed all those Jedi and I couldn't bring myself to kill him, part of Obi-Wan murmured. Perhaps it felt too much like revenge, despite my best efforts to classify it as 'For the Greater Good'. Perhaps I was just sick to death of everything and couldn't bring myself to care.
He entered the Healer's wing before he realized it, the droid on duty bringing him out of his thoughts when it asked for the nature of his visit.
"Oh," he said, blinking a little and wondering what had happened to Qui-Gon. Hadn't Obi-Wan been following him?
"Padawan, what do you need?" the droid asked in more basic diction, sounding as exasperated as a machine could.
"I need to see a Mind Healer," Obi-Wan said, frowning a little over his Master's curious absence, but decided that he could figure that mystery out later. "A scan the Council was doing went wrong."
"Master Healer Shre'diy is on duty. She can be found down that corridor, fifth door on the left. I will inform her she has a patient coming," the droid said, its appendages working the control panel before it, and Obi-Wan nodded his thanks before moving to follow its instructions.
Fifth door, fifth door…
"Welcome, young padawan," a warm female voice said as he palmed open the door, and a woman dressed in the white robes of the Healers stood from her place at the window. Obi-Wan assumed she'd been meditating, as she'd been kneeling, the sun catching the curls of her golden hair so that her face was haloed in light.
"Master Healer Shre'diy," he responded, bowing. Force, this woman was tall; he swore she was nearly Qui-Gon's height, and he was nearly two meters. "I come on behalf of the Council. They were performing a scan on this boy, and it somehow went wrong."
"Hm," she murmured, stepping up to him and gently placing a hand on Anakin's head. Obi-Wan heard him whimper through their bond and he sent reassurances, trying to tell the boy that there was nothing to be afraid of.
"Set him on the sleep couch in the corner, please," she said, motioning to the area behind her, and when Obi-Wan went to do so, Anakin's grip merely tightened.
"Ani," he whispered, placing a hand over the boy's fists. "This woman is here to help you. She wants to make sure there's no permanent damage." The boy shook his head, though his face remained pressed against Obi-Wan. "She's not going to hurt you, and I'll be right here if you need me. You don't have to be afraid."
"Won't let go of you, will he?" the Master Healer asked, smiling as she drew up the chair nearby the sleep couch. "Then just keep holding him, but sit please. I'm going to run some quick diagnostics to see what kind of damage I can find, and once that's done, I'll get to work. All right?"
"All right."