Time lost all meaning. Minutes dissolved into a haze of pain as she sat there like a broken toy.
Then suddenly, there was movement. A shimmer of purple cut through the evening light.
Satsu?
Hana blinked, trying to lift her head.
"Satsu...?" she croaked. The word was barely understandable.
The figure crouched down in front of her, hair hanging messily into her face. The voice boomed inside Hana's skull.
"No, Hana. It's Sayuri! Who's Satsu? What are you talking about?!" Her words tripped over each other in helpless panic.
"Hana, wake up! Shit, you're bleeding everywhere!" Sayuri gasped, her breathing shallow and uneven. "What happened? Who did this?!"
Hana kept staring into the purple. A dull roaring filled her head. Sayuri grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her desperately.
"HANA! Look at me! It's me, SAYURI!"
For a moment, Hana wished Sayuri would just leave. Take the purple with her and leave everything behind.
But Sayuri stayed.
Hana tried to lift her head, but the world spun so violently it made her nauseous. "Sa… Sayuri," she managed, her voice barely recognizable as speech anymore. "Just… just me… so stupid…"
"You?" Sayuri stared at her in disbelief. "Why? Why would you do this to yourself? None of this makes any sense!"
Hana tried to laugh, but only a choked rattle came out. "Sorry... Mom..." she slurred, her consciousness slipping.
Sayuri dropped to her knees, her fingers twitching nervously. She tried to remember the first-aid drills from school, but suddenly, everything was gone. Only the fear remained.
Why did I never take any of that seriously?
Hana looked so helpless. So fragile. So broken. Sayuri had never seen her like this.
"Come on," she said, her voice shaking. "You need to get upstairs. You need… you need help."
Sayuri tried to pull Hana to her feet, but she was dead weight. A wet, heavy body slipping through her fingers. The blood made everything slick. Sayuri gasped for breath, clutched Hana's arm, somehow dragged her upright, nearly stumbling herself.
"Shit, Hana, come on, help me! Just one flight of stairs, please..." she wheezed.
They staggered toward the door, Hana's weight hanging off Sayuri's shoulders, far too heavy for her small frame. The steps groaned under their feet.
"Just a little more… please, Hana…" Sayuri groaned, sweating as she dragged her forward.
Somehow they made it to the first floor, where Hana collapsed against the wall. Completely out of breath, Sayuri reached into Hana's jacket pocket with trembling fingers.
"Sorry, Hana, I... I need the key..."
She searched frantically until metal clinked against itself.
The door opened with a soft click. The chaos that greeted them — the empty bottles, the dirty plates, the thick scent of desperation and alcohol — told Sayuri that Hana's life was nothing like she had imagined.
"Is... is there anyone here who can help you?" Sayuri whispered.
Hana weakly pointed a bloody hand toward the bedroom. "Lyra… she's asleep…" she slurred. "Please… don't wake her…"
Sayuri carefully led her there and opened the door just wide enough to see Lyra's sleeping figure beneath the blanket.
"O-okay... should I call your mother? An ambulance? Anyone??" Sayuri asked softly.
"No." Hana's voice was weak. "Please... just go..."
"B-but Hana, I can't just—"
"Please..." Hana's voice was firmer now. "Leave."
Sayuri's pupils shrank, her own body shivering. She hesitated for a second, her gaze flickering between Hana and sleeping Lyra. Finally, she gave a silent nod. She had no idea what else she was supposed to do. Maybe all of this was really too much for her. And Lyra was still here, after all.
"If—if you... need me," she whispered, "I'm right next door."
Then she backed out, and the door clicked shut.
Hana closed her eyes and let herself fall onto the bed beside Lyra. Her breathing grew shallower. Slower. Irregular.
3:19 AM
Lyra was dreaming of water. Of drowning. Of hands reaching for her, dragging her beneath the surface.
A faint sound pierced the fog of her sleep. A strange... gurgling? Like water running through a clogged drain.
She turned away and pulled the blanket over her head. Sleep was too tempting, too heavy, like a warm coat smothering every sound and every warning.
The sound stopped for a minute. Then it returned. A barely audible rattle, but the nightmares simply swallowed it whole.
3:22 AM
Behind the thin wall, just a few feet away, Sayuri lay wide awake in her bed. She stared at the ceiling, thinking about what she had seen.
She had tried to sleep, but every time she closed her eyes, she saw Hana. Bloody, drunk, on the verge of collapse. A faint noise drifted through the wall. Sayuri sat up.
She bolted upright, her heart hammering against her ribs. There it was again. A muffled choking sound, seeping through the concrete.
"Was that… gagging?"
3:24 AM
In Hana's bedroom, the choking grew louder. A wet, gargling sound, as if someone were trying to speak underwater. Lyra's dream darkened. The water rose to her throat. She fought, but her arms were weak. She sank deeper and deeper.
She murmured something incoherent and turned onto her other side.
The rattling grew weaker. Hana's breathing stopped. One second, then five, then ten. Her body struggled for air, but got none.
3:26 AM
There it was again. That sound.
Sayuri lunged out of bed.
What was that? Something's wrong. I have to—
She ran to her door and tore it open. The hallway was pitch black. The sound was definitely coming from Hana's apartment.
3:27 AM
Vomit and alcohol flowed back from Hana's mouth into her throat, blocking her airway. Her body kept fighting on instinct, but her consciousness was already gone.
Lyra kept dreaming of drowning, her hands reaching for something that wasn't there.
The gagging grew louder, more desperate.
Silence.
3:29 AM
Sayuri hammered on Hana's door.
"HANA! HANA, IS EVERYTHING OKAY?"
No answer.
She tried the handle. Locked. The gagging had stopped, but that only made it worse.
"HANA!"
3:30 AM
Hana's lips had started turning blue. Her body lay completely still, not a single breath moving her chest.
The wet gurgling had fallen silent. All that remained was a heavy, unnatural stillness that tightened around Sayuri's throat.
"SHIT!"
Sayuri ran back into her apartment, sweeping everything off her hallway dresser in one violent motion. The Pocky. The candy. It was all in the way.
Then she found it. The spare key.
She rushed back to Hana's apartment. Her fingers were shaking so badly she missed the lock twice before finally getting it in.
The door finally burst open.
"HANA! LYRA, WAKE UP!"
The scream ripped Lyra instantly from her nightmare. She bolted upright, staring at Sayuri, completely disoriented.
"What—"
"HANA!"
Lyra turned around and saw it.
Hana was lying flat on her back, her head tilted unnaturally far back. A thin mixture of vomit and blood spilled from her mouth.
But Hana's chest wasn't moving. No rising, no falling. Nothing at all.
"NO!"
Lyra threw herself over her, her knees sliding on the slick sheets. Her hands clawed into Hana's shoulders. Her skin already felt terrifyingly cold.
"NO NO NO!"
With all her strength, she heaved Hana's limp body onto her side. Vomit and blood spilled across the bed, but Hana didn't react.
No breath. No sign of life.
"She's not breathing!" Sayuri's voice cracked. "I-I'm calling an ambulance!"
"NO!" Lyra screamed, jerking Hana's face toward her. Sweat ran into her eyes, blurring her vision. "There's no time!"
Her fingers slipped as she wiped the vomit from Hana's mouth. The disgusting smell made her gag, but she ignored it. Her lips trembled. Just swallow it down. Just keep going.
Then she leaned down.
Mouth-to-mouth.
The blood and bile tasted metallic and bitter on her lips. She blew air into Hana's lungs once, twice, while her hands pressed against Hana's chest.
"Come on, come on!"
Nothing.
Hana's body remained limp.
Lyra pressed harder on her chest and forced air into her lungs again.
"BREATHE, DAMMIT!"
Sayuri stood frozen in the doorway, her hands clawed so tightly into her own face it looked like she was trying to cover her eyes. "Lyra, she… she's—"
"SHUT UP!"
Lyra screamed without looking up. Mouth-to-mouth again. Chest compressions again.
Nothing.
Lyra's hands were covered in blood, her face smeared with Hana's vomit, but she didn't stop.
"You are not dying. YOU ARE NOT DYING!"
Was that... a faint twitch?
Lyra felt it instantly, or was she imagining it?
"There! There was something!"
She blew air desperately into Hana's lungs again and pressed down on her chest. Her arms were shaking from exhaustion..
"Please, please, please…" she whimpered as she kept pressing. "Not now. Not like this."
A barely noticeable tremor ran through Hana's chest. Lyra held her breath and waited.
Nothing.
"COME BACK!"
Lyra slammed her locked hands against Hana's sternum. A sickening crack shot through her wrists.
"I'M NOT LETTING YOU GO!"
Then, a sudden jolt. Hana's body arched violently. A weak, gurgling sound came from her throat, and her chest rose with effort.
Her eyes opened. She coughed. Gagged. Then again.
More vomit came up, but this time Hana was conscious enough to retch on her own.
"Please, Hana... breathe!"
Lyra turned her onto her side again and patted her back. Her hands were trembling so violently she could barely coordinate them.
"Just keep breathing!"
Hana's breathing was weak and uneven, but it was there.
She was alive.
Lyra collapsed over her, her entire body trembling as tears streaked down her face.
"She's alive," she whispered. "She's alive."
Sayuri nodded silently, tears running down her cheeks too.
Lyra carefully brushed the sticky strands of hair out of Hana's face. "I thought…" Her voice broke. "I thought I'd lost you."
"Maybe... maybe that would have been better," Hana rasped.
"No." Lyra's voice was firm. "You don't really mean that."
Hana opened her eyes a slit, her gaze glassy and unfocused. "I don't remember… what…"
Sayuri stepped back as if the smell were suddenly choking her. "I… I should leave you alone," she murmured blankly, reaching for the doorknob.
The door closed with a soft click.
The next few hours passed like a nightmare. Every time Hana seemed to drift away, Lyra shook her awake. She checked Hana's pulse, her breathing, her pupils, again and again, obsessively. The roles had reversed.
"You can't sleep," Lyra whispered when Hana's eyes closed again. "Not yet. Please."
"Tired..." Hana murmured.
"You can't fall asleep," Lyra whispered when Hana's eyes closed again. "Not yet. Please."
"Tired…" Hana murmured.
"I know…" Lyra's voice sank. "But not yet. I'm too scared."
Toward six in the morning, Lyra was still sitting wide awake beside her, one hand wrapped around Hana's wrist, counting every heartbeat.
"Lyra." Hana's voice was a bit clearer now.
"Yeah?"
"You can... you can let go. I'm... I'm not dying."
But Lyra couldn't. Her fingers stayed closed around Hana's wrist as if it were the only thing keeping her alive.
"Not yet," she whispered. "Just let me... be sure for a little longer."