Seungcheol himself doesn't know when it started.
When he came to live with his parents he got to know a kid with the name Jeonghan who lived in his neighbourhood. Actually both of their homes were side by side so they were neighbours and their parents were friends so as a kid, Seungcheol used to meet Jeonghan frequently.
Still they weren't that close until Jeonghan transferred to his school.
Jeonghan was always a cute boy who was beautiful and charming so he was very popular among the teachers. His chatty and mischievous nature was amusing and adorable in the eyes of adults. But this adoration from adults and teachers ended up making Seungcheol's classmates dissatisfied and jealous of Jeonghan who was a transfer student, in a way it was like an outsider taking away the attention and compliments from the teachers meant for them.
This dissatisfaction made them ignore Jeonghan and not include him in their friend group. Seungcheol's situation was not any different than him cause he himself was a quiet kid who never made efforts to mix up in any friend group around him. It was mostly because he became gloomy after his grandpa's death and lost all the cheerfulness he used to have.
At first he never wanted to approach Jeonghan or befriend him even though they were neighbours and were familiar with each other as well as even though Jeonghan approached him many times and extended his hand to befriend Seungcheol. It wasn't until one day when he saw that Jeonghan was being cornered by some bullies that he couldn't sit still and helped Jeonghan out of that situation.
From then on Jeonghan never left his side and with time Seungcheol too got infected by his adorableness.
Being with Jeonghan healed him slowly, Jeonghan's mischievous personality reminded him of his grandpa cause him and his grandpa were always partners in crime, doing mischief like stealing cookies or playing games till late at night together and then getting scolded by his grandmother together.
Spending time with Jeonghan made him realise that suddenly he has become Jeonghan's partner in crime whenever he is up to some mischief. The feeling that this realisation brought to him was so comfortable and warm that he didn't want to let it go so he started indulging Jeonghan, supporting him in whatever he does, strengthening their bond of friendship until they were each other's best friend.
He doesn't know when his feelings for Jeonghan started to change from friendship to something else. Maybe it was when puberty hit him. Day by day as he watched the cute and mischievous kid become more and more beautiful his feelings were unconsciously shifting towards something he had no knowledge about.
He could see that Jeonghan's looks are attracting more and more eyes on him. These people tried to snatch Jeonghan's attention from him and tried to get close to him which made him feel deeply displeased.
At that time he used to think that this kind of possessive feeling was normal between friends so he started guarding Jeonghan's side righteously. But when Jeonghan came out of the closet in front of his parents and friends, that was the time when Seungcheol felt weird and odd about himself cause he was feeling unbelievably happy with the news so he analysed and realised that his feelings for Jeonghan were not normal. But before he could process his feelings and confess them to Jeonghan, Jeonghan instead suddenly confessed that he has a crush on their senior, Hyungwon hyung.
He has seen the extent of Jeonghan's love for Hyungwon so he never thought about having a chance of being in a relationship with Jeonghan.
Even now when he is being troubled by his dreams he never thought about making a move or confessing to Jeonghan. His love for Jeonghan is unrequited and he doesn't expect any reciprocation.
But his feelings make him feel lost cause he doesn't know if he can ever love someone else as much as he loved Jeonghan. Sometimes he wonders the extent of his love for Jeonghan.
But at times he gets confused about his feelings for Jeonghan, he loves Jeonghan, he wants Jeonghan, he desires Jeonghan but more than that he wants Jeonghan as his best friend. It's like falling in love with your best friend but the feeling of love is not greater than the feeling of friendship in your heart. You would love them to death if you get to be in a relationship with them but if you don't, you would still love them to death cause they are your best friend and homie.
Seungcheol's feelings are so complex and his dreams have thrown him into disarray. But one thing he knows for certain, his source of warmth has disappeared again. So has he become a cold hearted person again?
But isn't he already trying to change? Isn't he trying to develop feelings for someone else? Then why even after putting in so much effort, his heart is still not moved?
So in the end it's all him own fault?
"But I treated you well didn't I?" Seungcheol asked Sara monotonously. His expression was blank and wooden.
Hearing him say that Sara who started crying at some point froze her movements and then looked at Seungcheol with a speechless and guilty look.
In the end she said, "Please go away. I don't want to see you right now"
Tears flowing non stop from her eyes. The girl she was kissing earlier was standing by the door with a concerned look on her face.
Seungcheol looked at that girl and then turned around to leave only to see Minghao standing by his own apartment door.
Seungcheol paused for a second after noticing Minghao but then turned to leave without saying a word.
Minghao had witnessed the commotion and understood what had happened vaguely so he followed behind Seungcheol.
Turned out that he did the right thing by following Seungcheol cause the first thing that Seungcheol did after getting out of the apartment building was driving his sports car out of the parking lot.
Seeing that Seungcheol was about to drive on the road Minghao's heart skipped a beat.
He said, "Hyung, give me a lift. I need to be somewhere urgently".