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"Aiko, Aiko! Oneesan!" Naruto waved the blue fabric above his head, pushing his way through the students milling around outside. He barreled directly into her with force that would have knocked over a lesser pre-teen. Some of his now-former classmates gave him strange looks. Students dropped out of the Academy all the time. Since she'd been out for two whole years, most of her former classmates had probably forgotten she ever attended.
Indulgently, Aiko hugged her otouto for all she was worth, trying to focus on him and not all the soggy-looking student glaring in his direction. Sometimes his hyperactivity made her tired, but since today was his day of triumph she was willing to let it slide. He'd earned his headband, although not in the way she'd half expected.
She'd spent a long time trying to make up her mind about letting his graduation go according to 'plan'. The thought of her brother failing and being tricked by Mizuki-bastard was really unappealing. The thought of letting him be hurt in that way made her heart ache, even if she knew it would strengthen his fledgling bond with Iruka-sensei.
In the end, she didn't have to make a decision. Her otouto had come to her with watery blue eyes and a request to help him practice his jutsu so he could graduate, and she bent over backwards to accommodate. She knew perfectly well what the problem was- he had too much chakra and too little control to use the tiny smidge of spiritual power required for a standard bunshin.
So he wasn't going to use a standard bunshin.
She hadn't used one since she graduated- they were stupid anyways. Unfortunately, Naruto's primary affinity was wind (she reminded him daily for weeks that he'd never be as cool as her after she 'found out' with chakra paper), but he seemed to have some small aptitude for water and the sheer determination to make it work. That tiny bit of talent and his enormous willpower resulted in beautiful water clones.
His ridiculous chakra reserves helped him flood the academy classroom with them. Literally, once they were all dispelled. As he laughingly explained to her over celebratory barbeque, he almost didn't pass because Mizuki was so furious he tried to have him failed for using non-standard bunshin under the premise that he wasn't obeying the letter of the rule.
"But Iruka-sensei sure told him! It was awesome, oneesan." Naruto fidgeted, practically ready to explode out of his seat and bounce off the walls. The bulky man who'd brought them their food eyed him warily.
Aiko gave the man a sharp glare, telling him to fuck off silently. She tilted her head slightly so his eyes were drawn to her headband- visibly marred like only a headband that had seen action could be.
He left.
"nd even if I hadn't had the bunshin at all, I still would have passed because I had that extra credit in projectiles! You were right, oneesan."
"Aren't I always?" She stole a piece of particularly attractive-looking beef off his plate and tried not to laugh at the way he squawked.
"Hey, don't be mean!"
"I'm paying aren't I," she said blandly. It was theoretically a treat- but really, she paid for almost everything. As of today, the small checks Naruto received as an orphan in ninja training would end, but she'd really been paying all the bills with what she earned running missions anyway. It wasn't a problem- despite the fact that she didn't run nearly as many missions as she had when she first became a Genin, C and B class missions paid exponentially better.
Judging by the three fat wallets she had hidden in the apartment, Kakashi was either secretly a millionaire or had some illicit and ungodly expensive habit, like maybe he was currently building a summer home entirely out of diamonds using unicorns and princesses as laborers- nothing else could explain why he was so damn cheap. The man made plenty of money.
Her sensei ran fewer missions without her these days. Once she had figured out that he hadn't been taken off the roster for high level missions, his frequent absences and the days he just didn't show up for training made a lot more sense. She hadn't been cleared for A-class missions, so he ran those with another team, but she was his shadow in everything else.
That had caused no small amount of amusement among the elite Jounin who seemed to know him by sight- the first time that she had toddled out of the village behind him in a matching mask, the couple sitting at the gate had burst out laughing.
"This is my mission face," she'd said blandly, as if that was an answer. It made sense to her- she was terrible at controlling her emotions and expressions. That wasn't appropriate when she was on the clock. In a way, putting on the mask made it easy for her to become another person. She had never explained that to her sensei.
He'd seemed unnerved the first time he saw her in a black cloth mask, but never commented.
"When do you get your team assignments?" she asked, already knowing.
His expression brightened, the slight against his dinner already forgotten. "First thing tomorrow, 'ttebayo! Hey, hey, do you think I should change my look?" He tugged at his blue t shirt. "This doesn't look very shinobi-ish. I'm a real ninja now, and I should look like one!"
"Fine by me," she agreed easily. Aiko liked playing dress-up. She hadn't changed her look significantly in the past year so much as she'd added identical outfits in different colors. Black, gray and blue were 'mission' colors, and she didn't wear them within the village anymore. It helped her both pack quickly and compartmentalize her life. Her headband had been put on black fabric, and she wore it around her waist almost every day. Today she was in red- a cheery cherry shade.
Her hair, on the other hand, had changed in the past year. That was more because she was bad at cutting it than that she was vain about having long hair. When she wore it in a pony tail, it was just barely long enough to brush the base of her neck. When she felt childish, it made for two adorable spiky pigtails jutting out on either side of her face.
She'd never understand how most ninja seemed to only ever own one outfit at any given point in time. It was gross and depressing.
They loaded Naruto up with several pairs of the standard-issue blue pants (apparently he didn't find them as depressing as she did). Aiko laughed for a while that he had to buy them in a women's small while he pouted and tugged out the incriminating tags. He located long-sleeved blue shirts that matched. Just when she was starting to think she had somehow warped him into an incredibly boring person, he gleefully snatched short sleeved shirts in orange, yellow, and green and then started pawing through hilariously oversized sunglasses. She put a stop to the last part, but couldn't bear to tell him he couldn't replace his orange goggles. They were adorable, frankly.
"Oh crap, I forgot to feed the dragon." Aiko stopped and gaped at her brother. So did the rather disturbed-looking old lady who had been glaring disdainfully at him when he said it, turning pale and hobbling away.
"How could you, Naruto? That's terrible! Poor kitty cat."
Said cat seemed to agree. He gave Naruto the long, slow look that usually meant he was going to try to smother Naruto in his sleep by laying on his face sometime in the night. In apology, Aiko filled up a short bowl with whipped cream from a can and sprinkled it with catnip. He was a little kinder when he was high. Some days, she wished Smaug was a nin-cat so she could teach him to breathe fire. Alas, he was just a particularly angry house cat.
~~~
"That's fucking ridiculous," Sarutobi Asuma complained through a mouthful of smoke. "That team is stacked." His female companion grabbed his cigarette right out of his mouth and dropped it, crushing it under her heel. He stared at her slack-jawed, feeling more than a little betrayed. The civilian secretary, on the other hand, outright shrieked. No one paid her any mind.
"What do you have to complain about?" Kurenai nudged him companionably, smiling a little at his expression. "You have a dream team, too. Ino-Shika-Cho? You really got a nice set-up and the top kunoichi of the year. You'll love it." Her expression softened into a full smile, red eyes sparkling. "Isn't it so exciting? Our first genin teams! I've been waiting for this since I became a Chuunin."
"Goody," Asuma muttered, not remotely excited about having a genin team. He'd been avoiding the duty for years. Jounin-level shinobi who were considered stable enough to train children were in pretty short supply (and the criteria for 'stable enough to teach' were frighteningly vague). The assignment wasn't as flattering as Kurenai seemed to think it was, even if they had been gifted with the crème de la crème.
No point in bursting her bubble, though. She'd wise up on her own- or maybe she really would like the duty as much as she hoped. He wished her the best, really he did. But Kakashi…
"I just don't get that bastard. He doesn't even like kids. I don't get why Hokage-sama (the last word was tinged with more than a bit of irony) is letting him have his cake and eat it too."
Kurenai shrugged philosophically. "Do you really want a team with the angriest little Uchiha" (an unofficial and rather unkind nomme de plume gifted by superiors) "and a jinchuuriki?"
"Not when you phrase it like that," he muttered. "But when you remember that the angry little Uchiha is the top student of the year and that this'll complete his set of Namikaze kids…"
Anko swooped out of absolutely nowhere with a creepy grin and the smell of scales (which seemed to be her main form of transport, followed closely by 'materializing out of the darkness' and 'already waiting in your closet when you go to look for linens') and punched his shoulder, hard. "Oh sorry, didn't see you there." The ridiculous lie clearly baffled both of the Jounin she'd interrupted, which the new special Jounin seemed to take as a compliment. She grinned fiercely, and poked his cheek with a dango stick. "Gotta watch what you say," she warned cheerily. "You're going to be spending a lot of time around ankle biters. It'd fuckin' suck if you polluted their precious little brains with things they shouldn't know, wouldn't it?"
Kurenai's brain nearly shut down at that bit of hypocrisy. "Anko-san, what are you doing here?" she asked wearily. The younger woman beamed.
"I get to fail my very first genin team! Glad I'm not one of you fuckers. I'd cry a river of blood if I were asked to train three midgets to show up our allies at Chuunin exams in three months."
A shiver went up Kurenai's spine. 'Hokage-sama was willing to risk letting Mitarashi-san have a genin team? That's just frightening. Maybe this assignment isn't such an honor after all.'
Eager to go, as soon as Iruka and Mizuki stepped out of the classroom and asked them to gather their short people one at a time, Kurenai gave a tiny squeal, straightened her spine, and walked in. A few minutes later she walked back out with three ankle-biters, one of whom was gazing up at her adoringly with big pale eyes.
Asuma sighed. "Time to face the music, I guess." He raised an eyebrow at Anko. "You want to go first?"
She waved him off. "Nah. I need a moment to get all the laughter out before I crush their hopes and dreams. Or worse, get stuck with a team of little shits." She shuddered.
"Suit yourself," he mumbled, wishing he had another cigarette or reason to put this off. With a sigh, he stuck his head in. "Team Ten? Follow me." He ambled down the hall, looking as if he'd rather be dead. A short scuffled erupted inside the classroom, and then the door banged all the way open. A blonde girl dressed in a ridiculous purple outfit strutted out, followed by an anxious Akimichi (you could always pick them out of a crowd) and with her nails digging so far into the wrist of the other boy behind her that he was outright hustling to keep up. Anko howled with laughter, not minding when the chit huffed and turned her nose up.
"Oh, that's cute." She propped the door open. "Team six? Get your skinny asses out to the playground, stat." Her voice dropped an entire octave into something shockingly sinister. "We're going to play a little game."
~~~
"I can't believe you did this to me," Naruto said flatly, staring straight up at the ceiling. Sasuke gave him a baffled look. "You knew, the whole time. I thought you loved me."
Sasuke inched away.
The strange girl who had showed up with their new sensei and claimed to be his side-kick snickered, fiddling with her copper ponytail. Sakura put a hand to her own long hair, smirking in a self-satisfied way. Sasuke tried not to think about what was going on in her head. That way only leads to madness. The stranger teased, "of course I love you. That's why I knew just how hilarious your face would be after Sensei made you wait a million years."
Uncharacteristically, Sasuke interjected, both relieved that his new teammate wasn't hitting on him and eager for information about the strange man who had made him wait. "Is that man always so late?" His face twisted in a grimace when she nodded.
"Come on, you guys." She made a shoo-ing motion. "Didn't you hear him say to meet on the roof?"
The blonde idiot rolled his eyes. "You're not there either, so don't nag."
"Aren't I?" she asked noncommittally. The girl gave a sharp little smile that didn't quite reach her eyes- and then Naruto cursed, moving backwards in slow motion, but not fast enough to escape the minor explosion as the girl dissolved into water.
Sasuke rolled his eyes at his now-soaking teammate and took off for the stairs. "Idiot." Left unsaid was that he hadn't noticed the girl was a water clone either. Sakura took a moment to squeal over just how cool he was before falling in behind him. "Hey, wait up you guys!" Naruto sneezed, trying to squeeze excess water out of his shirt.
Up on the rooftop, Aiko grabbed her teacher's wrist with her left to hold up his hand and gave it a high-five with her own. "Excellent work!" He docilely let her arrange his arm as she wanted, limp. Kakashi had recently discovered that one of the best ways to deal with children was to deny them a reaction. If he pretended to be dead or in a sudden coma, they got bored and went away (to call for help sometimes. That was always funny). It never worked for long on Aiko, but then again it was hard to escape an apprentice.
"I bet anything I can manipulate them into passing your test without saying thing about it," she challenged in a sing-song tone, snuggling into his side. He rolled an eye. 'That'd be a miracle.' It seemed like sacrilege that he was going to have to pass this team.
The other three brats toddled up the stairs, the pink-haired girl paying an inordinate amount of attention to the Uchiha's rear end. Kakashi sighed internally, already resigned to his fate. He only had to get these three up to Chuunin level in three months. No big, right?
The blonde one tripped over his own feet and blamed it on a butterfly. Suddenly, Kakashi felt very sorry for himself.
"Let's do introductions," he said in a purposefully bland voice. Do not engage more than necessary. No eye contact. "You first, pinky pie."
Sakura looked a little uncertain. "Just my name?"
"And any other relevant facts," Aiko chirped. "Things you like, dislike, hope to accomplish. Stuff like that." Her smile didn't reach her eyes.
The other girl gave her a grateful smile. It was a fake one as well. "Right! I'm Haruno Sakura. I like…" her eyes trailed over to Sasuke. He froze like a deer in front of a predator. She giggled, turning pink. "I like lots of things, and certain people! I don't like Ino or…" she trailed off, eying Aiko and apparently re-thinking whatever she'd been about to say. "ramen. My dream… well. I can't say."
Judging by the way she honed in on the poor brunette like a hungry wolf might a bleeding rabbit, Kakashi didn't think he needed her to say it aloud.
'This one is going to be a terror to teach. It might be kinder to pressure her into leaving the program and ask the Hokage for a replacement. She might actually tie him up in her closet so he can never leave her. Seems the type.'
While the sole adult was processing that and deciding to carefully avoid teaching her anything dangerous until she was less obviously unstable, Naruto gasped theatrically and started to babble something doubtlessly inane about ramen. Unamused, Kakashi pointed at him with his whole hand. "Go."
Naruto's eyes narrowed, but with a brief glance at his sister's amused expression, he resigned himself to it. "Fine. I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I love ramen, my precious people, and I'm going to be the Hokage one day, 'ttebayo!" He stuck his tongue out at Sasuke. "Now you, bastard."
Sasuke twitched, but smoothly introduced himself when prompted. "I don't have many interests or things that I like. I do have an ambition, however." How perfectly droll.
"What's that," Naruto asked, inappropriately invading his teammate's personal space. He probably learned it from his sister, who pulled that kind of thing all the time. The Uchiha batted him away. He'd learn how pointless that was soon enough, Kakashi was sure. They just didn't give up.
"To kill a certain man and restore my clan." He stared forward darkly. If he'd been less experienced, the Copy nin might have thought he didn't care about his peers' reaction. But he knew better, especially since the kid had brought it up unprompted. He was looking for a reaction to his declaration that he already wanted to kill someone. His bright little apprentice seemed to catch that as well, if her mischievous expression was anything to go by. So…
"Your dream is to be a dad?" Aiko asked, a curious smile tugging at her lips. "That's wonderful." Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed. Sakura giggled, a hand creeping up to her face.
"Moving on," Kakashi interrupted, wanting to get this over with. "Hatake Kakashi, your Jounin instructor. That is," he chuckled, "assuming you pass the test."
"We just passed the test!" Naruto informed. "No way!"
"That was just a test to weed out those who had no chance at becoming Genin. It's funny, you see. Only one third of prospective students that graduate actually get to be Genin."
Their horrified faces were adorable. He tried not to enjoy frightening small children more than he absolutely had to. "Meet me tomorrow at training ground se-"
"We didn't finish introductions," Sasuke pointed out, glaring a little at Aiko. "Who are you?"
There was an awkward silence.
"Um, Sasuke-san," she began, rubbing at her neck, "I was in your class for two years. I'm Naruto's older sister, remember? Uzumaki Aiko?"
"No. You must not have been interesting."
Naruto turned bright red. "Hey bastard, you can't just say-"
"As I was saying, meet at training ground seven at seven am for your test to see if any of you deserve to be genin," Kakashi interrupted crossly. "One last piece of advice? If I were you, I wouldn't eat breakfast. You'll probably just throw it all up." With that, he was gone.
"He's such a drama queen." Aiko stood up. "Come on kittens, let's go for lunch and get to know each other as a team. My treat." She reached out and snagged an arm from each boy, apparently trusting Sakura to follow. Naruto was resigned to being dragged around like an especially large doll, but Sasuke made the mistake of struggling. "It wasn't a request. We're going to be the best of friends, you and I," she said darkly.
From his perch a few buildings away, Kakashi observed his new team (and wasn't that a horrible thought, he'd only ever had one team and now he had a team again and not just co-workers or an apprentice, a team, a whole flock of short people depending on him for protection and learning). The Uchiha boy was attempting to slide out of Aiko's grasp. Kakashi couldn't see what she said, but whatever it was caused the boy to go limp for just a moment. That was all she needed. No matter how intense he was, Sasuke was just a little boy, a freshly minted genin. Aiko was technically a Chuunin, but she could probably give weaker Jounin runs for their money.
Her lack of promotion to Jounin had been a very intentional move, for multiple reasons. On Kakashi's part, it was because an apprentice was only really tied to their sensei as a lower level nin. Despite being emotionally constipated, he really did want to protect Sensei's children. The best way he knew to do that was to teach them to be strong enough to take care of themselves when he wasn't there- but be there anyways so they didn't have to be.
Luckily, he wasn't the only one invested in the apprenticeship. The Council had some bizarre idea that their top active nin was going to pass down all his specialties to her. Well. That was the traditional meaning of an apprenticeship, but that didn't mean he'd exactly given away the Hatake summoning contract yet. As long as he hadn't taught her his unique skill set or those of her parents that only their genetic relations could use (hello, previously lost whirlpool jutsu and one-man Hirashin) then there was no way they'd take the kid away from him.
The Council had their fingers in all sorts of pies these days, really.
The Copy-nin frowned, trying not to think about the bizarre pressure the Council was exerting on teams 7, 8, and 10 to push their rookies into the Chuunin exams being held in Konoha in three months. In one way, he understood. The teams had been stacked with the best of the best, and it would be an incredibly effective propaganda victory to completely dominate the exams while putting the children that the council had so many hopes for in as little danger as possible.
Most of this group- well, the next exams were in Iwa and then Cloud. Konoha was going to be sending exactly zero genin with bloodlines there, which would probably hurt their juggernaut standing as the most powerful village. If they were still riding on a high from the upcoming exams, however, that lack wouldn't be as obvious.
Kakashi stared glumly forward, trying to work up the will to read his beloved books. There was absolutely no way he'd be allowed to fail this team, not even the pink-haired tagalong. He was going to be stuck looking at a four-and-a-half foot tall (exaggeration, but the point still stood) mob of painful memories every day until they left, at which point he was going to have to worry about them. There was really no winning with this.
~~~
Sakura settled into the booth first, praying Sasuke-kun would sit next to her. The other girl –who was wearing her black forehead protector around her waist as if to emphasize how small it was, what a bitch- slid in instead, which was the second-best outcome. Sakura didn't want to have to sit next to that idiot Naruto, and she definitely didn't want the other girl getting up close to Sasuke-kun. She could hardly believe that was the girl who'd graduated two years ago. She looked like a real ninja in her plain green tunic, matching pants and knee high black boots. Even worse, she looked older than twelve. Sakura glumly adjusted her top discreetly, trying to look voluptuous. It wasn't working.
In the aisle in front of their booth, the two boys looked somewhere between constipated and combative, determinedly not staring each other down and not sitting down first.
"Sasuke, you'll want to sit first. Naruto has way too much energy to be trapped between a person and a wall. He'll make you get up a hundred times."
While Naruto sputtered and denied the accusation, the dark-haired boy gave up and sat down, sliding until he was pressed up against the wall. He looked as though he was being tortured, but Naruto did as well, sitting on the very edge. Sakura cleared her throat.
"So, ah… Why are you here, Aiko-san? Genin teams are made of cells of three, aren't they?"
"Correct," Aiko said blandly. "I'm a Chuunin. Do you know how apprenticeships work?" When no one volunteered information, she continued in a matter-of-fact way.
"You three are in a genin cell, but I never was. Instead, I apprenticed under Kakashi-sensei because he has a very specific skill set that the Hokage wanted him to pass on to me. That bond isn't severed until one of two things happen- both parties want it over, or the apprentice reaches Jounin levels. Neither has happened, since I still have more to learn from Kakashi-sensei. But then come along you three-" She gestured expansively. "Who for one reason or another, the council committee feels belong under Kakashi-sensei's mentorship. I'm not supposed to tell you this, but there's a rush order on you three. Hokage-sama wants you all either promoted to Chuunin or at least ready to make a bid for promotion in three months."
'If that doesn't get their skinny asses in gear, nothing will.' Aiko kept her face carefully impassive. She had an unfair advantage in manipulating these kids. She didn't feel guilty for using it.
The three genin's faces were a study in shock. They quickly transitioned to various expressions of pride or confusion, but no one said anything before the waitress plodded over unenthusiastically for their drink orders.
After the interruption, it was Sakura who brought up the old topic. "Isn't that really unusual? I thought people sometimes spent years as genin."
"We're just that awesome!" Naruto grinned wide enough that Aiko's cheeks hurt just looking at him. She solved the problem by flicking a senbon at him, letting it sink into the vinyl of the booth back a half inch from his ear.
"It's rude to shout at the table," she said mildly. "Konoha is hosting Chuunin exams in three months. They're kind of a big deal for the village in that they're a show of strength to prospective clients. The idea is that if we can crush the competition with rookie contestants, we'll be showing that our brand shiny new genin are better than their experienced ones. You three have been picked as a group that has exceptional potential as a team."
'Keyword being as a team. Pay attention, kiddies. Remember this for the test tomorrow.'
Sasuke seemed to flinch, carefully not looking at either of his 'teammates' and scowling.
"Anyway. Since I'm his apprentice, I think I'm getting screwed into doing his grunt work. With that in mind, you'll all three be doing my morning training. Ah, yes, thank you." She took the glass of apple juice the waitress had brought, swigging it down in an unladylike manner. Sakura tried not to grimace.
"Tell me about yourself, Sakura. Not the kind of things you said up there. Your strengths and weaknesses- in other words, what you can contribute to the team and what the team is going to do for you to make the group better." She eyed the boys. "You two think about your answers to the same question. Anyone who claims they have no weaknesses is going to get laughed all the fucking way to Suna."
'If they don't figure out to use teamwork tomorrow, I will personally beat them all up. I'm doing all the work for them.'
~~~