If you want to help me financially, you can do it on
https://ko-fi.com/neverluckysmile
"Buuuurn!" Anko's long coat flapped around her shins from the explosive force she had just released in training ground 44. She all but cackled, her fingers curled into claws and arms raised above her head in a V shape. "Burn baby, burn!"
A small figure stood on the other side of the clearing, eyes widening at the wall of fire traveling her way at high speed.
"Oh holy hell."
Aiko did her best to ignore the smoke in her face, flashing through the hand-signs for a truly epic water jutsu. The resultant wave splashed over the burning patch of forest in a sizzling tidal force. The other kunoichi leapt straight up, over the cresting water and flipped mid-air with panache before landing silently on top of the moving water in a theatrical pose.
"I had it under control, kid," Anko growled. "That was deliberate."
'Sure it was.'
Aiko shrugged apologetically. "I can't help but find open flames in the middle of Konoha a bit unnerving, Anko-sempai."
"Eh." The curvy brunette ('Does it count as brunette even though it has purple tints?', Aiko wondered) shrugged away the implications of that statement. "So, you're my new minion?" She spat a short wooden stick out from between her lips, letting it slide into the charred ground. "Hope you're ready to do a whole load of shit work." She gifted the chuunin with a feral grin. "Because we got a lot to do. Starting with remodeling this training ground to be suitable for the chuunin exams."
Slowly, deliberately Aiko turned to survey the area. She hadn't trained in the 'Forest of Death' before, but it looked like any other training ground- thick forested areas cut by occasional streams. Then she raised an eyebrow at her supervisor.
The older girl scowled. "It wouldn't be much fun to herd the brats through a plain, boring set up. We're going to wire this place up for surveillance, plant the motherload of traps, and spruce up the wildlife."
"Is it for a survival exercise, then?" That made sense. As it was now, traveling through the forest would be little challenge even for a group of genin. It was likely that when she designed the second task, Anko had the twin concerns of wanting to intimidate foreign ninja (making a lasting impression that would keep them from underestimating Konoha) and wanting to ensure the general safety of the participants. It would be a waste to kill off more promising ninja than they had to. As this exam was going to be flooded with clan heirs and other genin of interest, the council was probably more invested in keeping them alive than in other years.
Her own chuunin exam had been in Sand, where they apparently weren't as big on teamwork as Konoha was. She had been allowed to compete alone, which had been both a curse and a blessing.
That would never happen in Konoha, though. In only a few hours they blazed trails through the forest, creating clearings and minimizing water supplies according to a map Anko had dreamed up. By changing the layout, even ninja who had trained in the area would be at a loss.
Plus it was a marvelous opportunity to destroy a whole lot of the environment. Aiko couldn't help but wince when hundred-year old trees were crisped and her new supervisor enthusiastically used earth jutsu to creatively add hills, holes and artfully shaped outcroppings. Her job was mainly the water system- they were redirecting entire streams into just two water pathways in order to create conflict by forcing teams together.
The whole thing was exhausting, and Aiko was about ready to collapse when they had finally altered the landscape to Anko's specifications. A nap was not in the cards, however.
"Get your lazy ass up, minion. How are you with summoning scrolls?"
Aiko blinked. "Using them?"
The older kunoichi gave her a disparaging look that was enhanced by the severely singed state of her clothes. "Don't be thick. I hope your calligraphy is good, because you are going to be making up scrolls and copying a lot of fancy poetry." She grimaced and scraped her tongue out over her teeth as if to get rid of a bad taste. "Better you than me. Just remember, failure on your part will end in the maiming of your fellow shinobi. No pressure."
For some reason it hadn't occurred to her that her home village was shamefully cheap. Instead of just paying a real seal maker to produce the dual scrolls to summon chuunin at the end of the task, it had been included as one of many items that had to be done by the two of them before the exams. That meant that she was essentially learning an entirely new skill set for B-class compensation that also included a host of other duties, a prospect that she was a little bitter about.
In a strangely domestic turn of events, they went together to pick up the supplies for her next task. Aiko was not surprised in the least to see that shopkeepers bowed anxiously and hurried to get her adult companion out of their stores.
She quite liked Anko and had for all the time she had known her. That didn't change the fact that it was easy to see Anko had a huge personality and verbally abusive tendencies when she got impatient.
Since her brother was probably going to be in the exam, for confidentiality reasons Aiko could only work on that project at Anko's home, a traditional styled house with a completely dead garden out front. The black vines and crunchy leaves had hinted at the state of the place, but it was only clear once she stepped inside that said dwelling place was a terrifying pit. She knew intellectually that many powerful shinobi had coping mechanisms. Apparently, one of Anko's was hoarding. The front room had artfully stacked piles of boxes of chocolate up to her waist, what appeared to be every dvd available in the fire nation and an entire wall of bookshelves full of everything from Jiraiya's porn series to ghost stories to a glittery red tome with the somewhat ominous title 'The Art of the Bitch'.
The twelve (almost thirteen!) year old carefully stepped into the room around piles of mission reports and identical pairs of sandals ("I can only ever find the left ones," Anko had explained contemplatively when she noticed Aiko's incredulous expression), clutching her supplies carefully. She had taken the academy classes on introductory level seal work, but they had never actually made seals. Knowing the symbols and having a keen eye for detail would probably get her through this exercise, however. She hoped.
At Anko's direction, she gingerly piled the fancy scrolls onto the central table next to what appeared to be a naked painting of Anko generously splattered in blood, signed 'from a fan'. The older kunoichi grinned at the sight, helping Aiko set out the bottles of special ink without breaking or spilling anything.
"Open those up and bleed in them," she commanded, as casually imperious as any queen could hope to speak. The redhead dutifully followed directions while Anko flickered out of the room to rustle around. She winced when something shattered. The voice that called back sounded a little distant. "I have plenty of brushes around here somewhere… Did I give you the scroll you'll be copying already?"
Aiko rolled her eyes and pulled a short bandage out from her thigh pouch to wrap around her bleeding palm, swiping up the droplets she'd accidentally gotten on the table's surface before they dried. "Not yet." With a chink, the now-closed bottles were shoved into a wide wooden box in order to keep them all in one place.
"Here." A scroll landed on the couch beside Aiko, on top of a purple decorative pillow. Her companion's aesthetic tastes seemed to run to purple, red, and tan, though the walls were traditional rice paper. "And this is the sissy fucking poem you'll be writing out. Let me check your work once you've copied one of each. I'm going to do a food run. Have any requests?"
Working on the preparations for the Chuunin exams was long, boring, and occasionally ended in hand cramps or mild electrical shocks from those sketchy surveillance units they planted in the forest at strategic locations. It also had the unpleasant side effect of completely disrupting her usual schedule- she hadn't had so much as a spar with Ino or morning conditioning with Team 7 since she had gotten reassigned.
More than once, Aiko found herself wondering how her genin were doing—and wasn't that a funny way for her to think of a group of kids her age? Still, she couldn't help but feel protective. If her foreknowledge was worth half a damn, shit was going to get serious soon.
The thought made her glum. Through sheer luck (and the fact that someone had tattled on her for having a decent working relationship with the occasionally terrifying Mitarashi Anko) she had gotten the one assignment that would place her sort-of close to team 7 when they encountered Orochimaru, but there was likely jack shit that she could do. There would be serious diplomatic repercussions if there was any hint of favoritism on her part—her career would pretty much be over. No one would trust her on a mission above C-class importance.
Besides all that, there was approximately zero chance that she could help fight off a sannin anyways. The one thing she kept wondering:
'Are they really in danger anyways?'
As far as she knew, Orochimaru wouldn't kill any of them. That was largely out of selfishness. He wanted Sasuke alive, and that meant someone had to watch out for him while he was assimilating the curse seal. There was absolutely zero chance that any of them would have escaped if he really wanted them dead.
She could only conclude that if things went predictably, her otouto and her team would not be in life-threatening danger. That was a pretty big 'if' to work with, however.
The issue was further complicated by the fact that she was starting to like Sasuke. It was hard to cold-bloodedly choose not to interfere in an attack on his person that would irrevocably change his personality, body, and put him in danger when she actually knew the kid. He was actually sweet underneath all the prickles—he would have done well in his family's police force. Sasuke seemed to want to protect people. The obsession with power wasn't really present yet.
Sakura, on the other hand, Aiko wouldn't have minded throwing to the wolves. Whatever potential the girl had was still invisible at this point, obscured behind her obnoxious personality, simpering mannerisms, and hair-trigger temper.
Feeling snippy, Aiko closed the tub of wax she had been rubbing into her boots and moodily tossed it aside. She was thoroughly sick of being responsible, but she dutifully trudged off to the kitchen and pulled out rubber gloves, a white sanitary face mask and the herbs and agents she used for her paralytic. She started the non-toxic base in the pot reserved for this task before slipping on the mask and hanging the "Mixing chemicals, do not disturb" sign on her front door. Naruto would probably still be at training for several hours and she didn't often get other visitors, but it was better to be safe than be stuck paying someone's hospital bills.
While she worked, Aiko turned on the radio (a new and expensive acquisition she never would have been able to purchase on a genin salary). Then she turned it off. "I fucking hate the koto," she muttered bitterly, stirring a little more vigorously than was necessarily wise. The process was intimately familiar and incredibly boring. Measure, pour. Stir, simmer, adjust heat. Prepare ingredient and measure, stir, turn up heat until roiling boil.
The last of the concoction was being carefully funneled into glass vials when enthusiastic thudding on the staircase alerted her that her otouto was barreling up. Aiko rolled her eyes, wondering if it was even worth it to scold him when the door burst open. The dangerous chemicals were put away, yes, but she had literally just finished and hadn't taken down the sign yet. For all he could have known, he was walking into thick clouds of lethal poison.
"Don't you read?"
Aiko slipped the first two vials into her equipment pouch and tucked the others safely away in the cupboard before her otouto wandered into the kitchen looking cheerfully disheveled.
"Whatcha mean, oneesan?" She heard the sound of porcelain and turned to smack his hand just as it escaped from the jar, cookie in hand. He flopped down into his chair, stretching back with both hands over his head so that the front legs came off the ground.
She sighed, rinsing her pot and setting it in the sink. "I had a note on the door that you shouldn't come in. Naruto, you need to pay attention. I was working with dangerous chemicals." She pulled the door open and ripped off her note before locking back up, setting down a quick genjutsu and kunai trap while she was at it. It was a little early to set up the nightly traps, but she might as well since they were both home early. It wasn't quite eight pm.
Frankly, she was tired of her current assignment and just wanted to get the stupid exam over with. It was now nine days until it started, which meant that the final preparations were being done in the next couple of days before foreigners started to arrive. She completely anticipated getting bit at least once by the rest of the exotic animals they were herding around in the forest.
"Why does it matter? I'm fine, aren't I?" Despite the pout she heard in his voice, Aiko wasn't willing to let it go. She rather frivolously used shunshin to position herself behind him and gave him a nougie, refusing to let go even when he shrieked and wiggled. "Hey, cut it out!"
"Then don't be such a butt!" A downright shocking amount of dirt and assorted filth fell out of his hair and gently drifted to the ground. She grimaced. "Oh, that's gross. Go wash yourself, stinky."
"Am not!"
"How would you know?" She slipped her hands to the back of his chair and pushed forward so that all four feet were on the ground. "I bet you can't even smell yourself over the sound of how loud you are."
"…wait, what?"
"You heard me."
~~~
"Who are you?"
Aiko narrowed her eyes at her idiot of a teacher. "Oh sorry, I forgot about your late-stage Alzheimers. I take it the treatment isn't going well."
"I suppose I wouldn't know." Kakashi calmly scanned his book.
Aiko, Sasuke and Sakura rolled their eyes in unison, getting to their feet/ jumping down from his tree. The wait for their sensei had been especially long today, which was more than a little annoying. Naruto had already lost interest in the conversation and was fidgeting, ready to get to work. It was the day before the exam—the culmination of what both groups had been working towards. Anko had laughed at Aiko when she showed up at her house that morning ("Idiot, take the day off").
"Well?" Sakura demanded, looking at her teacher. "How are you going to torment us today?"
Mildly surprised, Aiko gave the girl a once-over. Kakashi must have been especially mean in the month she'd been too busy to come to team practices in order to put her in the kind of mood where she'd abandon her thin veneer of politeness without provocation.
"Yeah, old man." Naruto bounded over, practically vibrating with excess energy. "A race or a free-for-all or maybe we can do that jutsu competition again! I'll kick the bastard's ass this time, 'ttbayo!"
If she hadn't been looking, she might have missed the twitch Sasuke suppressed.
"Mah," the man sighed, still not looking at any of them. "Actually, I just wanted to tell you we have no practice today."
The field was completely silent.
As if he was alone, Kakashi quietly mused, "Why does everyone call me old?"
"You made us wait four hours to tell us that there was no practice today," Sakura said, tone somewhere between incredulous and calm rage, ignoring his rumination.
Naruto's eye twitched rapidly and his cheeks started to fill with color. Sasuke and Aiko merely exchanged tired glances- why were those two so surprised? The enormous overreactions had ceased to be cute a long time ago.
"Mmhm. I just wanted to be sure you three had a nice, relaxing day before your test tomorrow." He casually raised a hand. "Bye." In a poof of foul-smelling smoke (and he could totally control that, he didn't have to make it so unpleasant) the figure that she now knew had been a clone dispersed. He was probably giggling miles away.
'Maybe that's what the giggles usually mean,' she thought crabbily. 'When he laughs it's because he's tormenting someone from a distance. It would explain a lot.'
Then Aiko sighed. 'If he isn't going to be an adult and make sure they're ready for the test, I'll do it.'
The three genin turned with varying levels of excitement when she clapped her hands decisively. "Alright then. We're going to hang out at my apartment."
Sakura's eyes flickered to Sasuke and she started to open her mouth—doubtlessly to make excuses and ask Sasuke to hang out alone. She stopped when Aiko turned a glare on her, then scanned the other two just as sternly. "We are having fun time," she said calmly. "Fun time is mandatory. I want the two of you to pack everything you think you will need for your tests tomorrow and meet in front of the red apartment complex on Tobirama and sixth in fifteen minutes, twenty for Sakura since she lives further away. If you aren't there, I will come and get you. Go now."
All three genin dashed away. Alone in the field, Aiko gave a yawn and slowly sauntered home. 'Why do they seem to think I have authority over them?' Her field authority ended when they weren't interacting in an official capacity.
Even Sakura made it within the allotted fifteen minutes, toting a heavy bag and a short stack of hair ties on her thin wrist. Aiko gave that concession a nod of approval—it was unusually practical for her, but still appreciated. The boys had packed lighter. They settled into the living room for Aiko to check it over. While Sakura pretended not to look at the pictures on the walls (all either photographs of the two of them, Kakashi or Ino or sketches) Sasuke slinked in looking spectacularly uncomfortable in the domestic setting.
"Naruto, make tea please." Aiko unzipped the first pack, checking the contents by feel.
"Uh, yeah." He picked his way to the kitchen and uncertainly rustled through the tins of tea. "Any preferences?"
Sasuke remained silent, so Naruto shrugged and made Sakura's pick. With her legs curled under the table and her back to the couch, Aiko bit her lower lip in thought. "Sasuke, did you intentionally leave out smoke pellets?"
"I've never used them,' he pointed out. Aiko tilted her head in thought, counting his soldier pills.
"Yes, but it's always good to be able to make a quick escape if a fight isn't worth your time and you're on a schedule."
He slowly cocked his head. "Is that a hint," he asked dryly, the slightest tinge of humor in his voice.
Aiko felt her face flushing. 'Oh, crap. I guess it was a little bit of a giveaway.'
"Definitely not," she said a little too weakly to be convincing, leaning her head forward to hide behind a curtain of hair. The follow-up huff of amusement let her know that he didn't buy it, but he dropped the topic. He wasn't very chatty anyways.
Sakura and Naruto fell into their usual bumbling comedy act, shouting, whining, and shaking fists (Sakura, Naruto and then Sakura again, respectively) while the tea steeped and Aiko supplemented Naruto's pack with some really nasty explosive tags. Then she thought better of that and handed them to Sasuke.
"Here you go." Naruto clanked down four cups of tea and collapsed to the floor criss-cross applesauce. Sakura leaned forward for a cup and gingerly settled onto a corner of the couch, looking uncertain and shy.
With a sigh, Aiko closed the last pack and set them by the door. "You're all good to go for tomorrow. I just wanted to be sure. Alright." She beamed at the three genin in her front room. "We're going to spend the night together so no one is late. Can't hurt to do some last-minute bonding, right? Anyone hungry?"
Naruto semi-frantically cleaned up the restroom while Sakura went on a run for fresh vegetables clutching a wad of Aiko's money. She set a sullen-faced brunette to work cutting and seasoning meat while she hummed, clearing the table of all seal ink and other assorted mess.
~~~
"Sasuke… you're going to make a great housewife for some guy."
The brunette made a violent jab for Naruto with his chopsticks, missing only because the blonde leaned back to pat his belly in a satisfied manner.
"Take it as a compliment," Sakura advised. "This is amazing!" The pink-haired girl practically had stars in her eyes.
'She would have thought it was amazing no matter what,' Aiko thought dryly. 'It was made by her precious Sasuke-kun. Can't help but notice that I'm getting no credit.'
There was some truth to Sakura's claim, however. "If only I had known you could cook like this earlier…" Aiko gave a long, luxurious stretch. The brunette turned his face away abruptly, but both girls could see the flush on his neck. They exchanged a rare, smug smile. "Hey Naruto, take care of the dishes."
"Why me?" he protested crossly, swinging back up.
The three kids who had worked on dinner simultaneously raised one eyebrow- the left for Sasuke and Sakura, the right on Aiko.
He scoffed. "Ugh, fine." With a clatter he gathered up the dirty plates and trudged off to the kitchen.
The room was momentarily awkward. Aiko felt like rolling her eyes- none of them knew how to interact outside of training and missions. 'How did Sakura get stuck with an entire team of socially awkward weirdoes?' Unfortunately, that category included herself, so she didn't really know how to break up the tension.
The girl might have been wondering the same thing.
"Ah, Aiko-san, thank you for helping us get ready." She inclined her head politely, and when the light caught green eyes on the way back up and glittered Aiko suddenly saw just what her otouto found so appealing about this girl.
"You're welcome, Sakura-chan. I'm really hoping all goes well for you three tomorrow." Her tone was a little wistful when she added, "I'm really hoping to get some good missions again. This last month has kind of been a bummer."
Sasuke snorted indelicately. "Couldn't possibly have been much worse than what Kakashi put us through." If anyone else had said that, Sakura would probably have protested. As it was, she merely looked a little uncomfortable.
"Sasuke-kun is right!" she declared. "I think he gets way too much fun out of tormenting us."
"You wanna bet?" Aiko asked jokingly. "I bet I have worse Sensei stories than you do."
Even Sakura looked skeptical. Aiko waved a hand sincerely. "No, really, it's true. You guys are benefitting from him having two years experience training a subordinate. When he first became my teacher… It was bad. Has he had you break into other ninja's houses yet?"
Big green eyes went even wider. "Isn't that illegal," Sakura asked, sounding scandalized.
~~~
Aiko curled and uncurled her toes inside her nice, warm boots, cursing the chilly morning air that raised goosebumps along her uncovered arms. She was the only one stationed in the central tower. Anko was likely running last minute preparations before she went to collect the ducklings from Ibiki.
Static hissed in her headset and she grimaced, pulling it slightly away from her ear. Not so much that she couldn't hear if someone else got on the frequency, however. She was one of only a few on that channel for the day, along with Anko and a squad that would be circling the training ground to make sure nothing got out of hand. Hours passed. Her headset clicked on and Anko's voice filtered through, sounding tinny.
"Midgets are on the move."
A male voice crackled on. "Mitarashi-san, you are supposed to say 'over' when you are finished transmitting. Over."
"Suck some big hairy balls, over."
Aiko snorted, and then gave a quick look around to make sure no one had heard. She was still alone. The sun had crawled along the skyline and at least an hour had passed before she heard signs of human life in person (the occasional reports on her headset didn't count. It was a mostly boring, methodical 'check in-check out' deal). Curious at who had made it to the tower so early, Aiko swung her legs over the railing of the curved staircase that lead all the way up to the top of the tower and allowed herself to go into a free falls head first, appreciating the feeling of air whipping over her face. She flipped midair to kick off of the wall and jump under the partial ceiling into the entry way.
Two of the three kids standing there looked at her curiously. Aiko grinned, leaning forward cheekily. "Hey, Kunoichi-san, shinobi-san! I remember you from Suna, two years ago. Whose your cute friend?"
The blonde who could only be Temari turned a thoroughly unbecoming shade of red.
'This is probably a really stupid idea,' she thought happily. 'Teasing Gaara is a downright awful idea.' It was awful… and she loved it.
Her fellow redhead turned to look at her for the first time (and he was REALLY a redhead, not like Kankuro's reddish brown). Well. It was more of a 'glare' than a 'look', she decided, popping her gum. Semantics.
"You're the first team in. I take it this was no trouble, then?"
"Mitarashi-san, we have trouble. Over."
Aiko stiffened, missing whatever Kankuro was saying. "Just a minute," she said distractedly, holding one hand to her ear to better position the headset. Temari gave her a rude look, turning away to confer with Kankuro about the scrolls. She heard the summoning go off, but didn't feel the urge to check her work.
"What is it, shitstain?"
"Bodies by the fifth gate, but they're like nothing I've ever seen. Their faces are just gone, like they melted off. I don't know who could do something like this. Over."
There was a long moment of silence on the headset and distracting chatter from whatever idiot chuunin had come to tell the sand kids they had passed. She crossed the room, listening intently, all but holding her breath.
"I do," Anko said, sounding more serious than Aiko had ever heard. She shivered. 'It's starting.' Aiko had been waiting anxiously, half-expecting that nothing would happen and the exam would go fine. "I want a full ANBU team. I'm heading in. That's Orochimaru's work, I bet anything. That fucker is in the forest."
Aiko clicked on her headset. "Permission to rendezvous, Mitarashi-san? Over."
"Fuck no," came the irritated reply. There was a short pause. Aiko found with mild surprise that her fingers were actually shaking where they were pressed against her fingers. "Actually, you can help. Soak the whole fucking forest and direct me to the biggest, baddest chakra signature in it."
"Understood, over."
She decisively turned her attention from the headset, surveying the room again. Kankuro was giving her a wary look as he trudged up the stairs behind his siblings. "Kunoichi-san!" Temari turned, a sneer on her face. "You and your team should be careful. We have an S-class criminal in the forest killing genin for some kami-forsaken reason." As the girl blanched, Aiko leapt ahead of the group, taking the stairs at a sprint, planning on going to the very top level. "Could I get your help for a moment?"
"You need my help in the shower room," Temari said flatly, looking almost literally deflated. It apparently wasn't the action she'd hoped for. Aiko ignored the attitude, leaping to the window and drawing her fist back to punch once, twice, and it shattered on the third blow, exploding mostly out into the forest. "Hey, what the hell-"
"Turn on all the faucets. Now." Aiko kicked the last bit of glass out from the edges and grabbed the sides, ignoring how it cut into her hands. "I'm going to siphon it outside. Leave it on and try to prevent flooding in the tower until I ask you to turn it off, okay?"
The other girl reluctantly followed directions, letting the water build up. Aiko flipped out onto the roof, landing on the roof like some kind of gargoyle. She took a long breath, and held, finding her center and preparing for a sustained technique. Then she reached for all the water below her, ripping it from the showers, drains, and speeding it out of the pipes. Something broke, but she calmly ignored Temari's shriek and subsequent cursing. She whipped her arms out to the sides, sweat forming as she accumulated a massive glob of liquid in front of her and infused it with her chakra.
Then she made it rain, all the way out to the gates and stretching into Konoha proper for good measure. Chakra signatures ping-ping-pinged on her radar- familiar and unfamiliar, ANBU, Anko, a veritable fuck ton of weak little genin, her brother… and.
"Holy shit."
Aiko clicked on her headset. "Anko, thirty degrees west of your position, about a mile out." Her voice cracked. "He's with my brother's team."