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Asuma barely noticed when his female genin grabbed the boy who'd beat her by the collar and started scolding him – something about how she couldn't be seen in public after having been defeated by someone with eyebrows like that and she was going to drag him directly to the salon because he had to avenge Hinata in the finals and she didn't want her Sand-y rivals to think Konoha nin didn't know how to dress – Okay, so he noticed more than a little. That was part of being an elite ninja.
One of the other things he had noticed was that Kakashi's team was missing and no one seemed to know why. That detail was strange.
His team had been slated for success, after all. He had the top genin, the jinchuuriki, and a prissy little civilian girl (just so that it wasn't too easy to mold them into unstoppable killing machines, presumably). Besides that, he had a ready-made teaching assistant who couldn't tell him to fuck off, so there was really no reason that his team couldn't have been ready for this test, even if he couldn't be arsed to teach.
He wasn't going to be the one to break it to his genin until he knew for sure, but everyone above chuunin level and their freaking dog now knew that Orochimaru had been spotted in the forest of death… there were only so many reasons a man of his caliber might be interested in genin.
Since both Hyuuga in the crowd had showed up with all eyes present and intact (there had practically been a palpable sense of jounin counting eyeballs), as well as every other clan heir entered… well. Either the interest was in someone from one of the other villages (unlikely, a man like Orochimaru would have easily snatched them off the road and had a grudge against Konoha besides) or he had been looking for the red-eyed shit or the jinchuuriki.
A plan for his lone student in the finals in place and the others scheduled to meet for training tomorrow anyways, he made his way across town using the rooftops. He'd never given two shits about protocol, so Sarutobi didn't even bother to scold him for using the window.
"How nice to see you. Did you come to talk about something?" The old man didn't look up from his papers.
He didn't mince words. "What happened with that alert last night? Did Orochimaru get caught? And was Kakashi's team involved?"
His father sighed, rubbing tiredly at his eyes. "You know I can't gossip, Asuma. But as for your other question, we have not taken Orochimaru into custody. Hence why the alert is still active."
Asuma didn't bother to say goodbye, shunshin-ing to Kakashi's apartment. Ninja were nosy. It was part of the job description. He was of the opinion that you could never have too much information on a situation when the situation was that an S-class lunatic with a history of abducting clan members was in your village, even if you didn't have a team of three ankle-biter clan heirs to keep track of.
Hatake wasn't home, but apparently Gai had come to the same idea. The two men exchanged glances.
"My rival has not been seen since yesterday."
Asuma grunted. "The old man wouldn't talk about him or his team, so I'm pretty sure they got caught up with whatever happened in the forest yesterday."
Gai hmmd. "The hospital, then? We can see if he or, more likely, any of his youthful students have been checked in."
The thin-faced woman at the front desk didn't know anything about Kakashi, was tight-lipped about the Uchiha brat, but couldn't keep from scowling when asked if the jinchuuriki was in the hospital. Thoroughly tired of her shit, Asuma sauntered past, ready to search room by room. He headed to the second wing first- general admissions for mission sustained trauma. Gai caught up him, looking unduly guilty about slipping past the cranky civilian, but too worried for his friend to let the opportunity pass.
Asuma didn't really give two shits about Hatake himself- he was a comrade, yes, one he would fight and die for if it was required but otherwise didn't know, but he was more interested in what information the guy probably had. Gai, on the other hand, was probably Hatake's only real friend. They were both cripplingly awkward (as geniuses tend to be, Asuma had thought once) in completely opposite ways but they managed to patch together a friendship out of an endless competition over nothing. It was cute, in a way that was also setting new criteria for causing debilitating depression.
That in mind, he kept his mouth shut until they found a room with 'Uzumaki' on the paper outside the door. The blonde wasn't in his bed, but a quick check of the bed in the attached section behind the curtain revealed three out of Kakashi's four puppies cuddled up in bed, asleep.
Until they walked in, that was. The little redhead's eyes flipped open and she gave them both a dark look. If she hadn't been trapped under boy limbs, the chit might have gotten up. "What do you want?"
"How hip!" Gai somehow boomed in a hospital appropriate volume that still made Asuma cringe and the black-haired boy in the bed grumble in his drug-induced sleep, calming when his female teammate set a hand on his back.
"We're looking for Kakashi." No point in beating around the bush. It looked like Orochimaru hadn't had Uchiha or jinchuuriki on the menu after all- they were both breathing and in Konoha, so that was good. Worries assuaged, Asuma raised a hand in farewell. "Tell him we stopped by, hmm?" He left a few leaves flittering to the ground when he transported out.
Gai stayed, on the other hand. "Do you know where my most youthful rival can be found?" His dark eyes were uncharacteristically serious.
The girl bit her lower lip, which crackled with dried blood. "Wherever he goes when he needs to self-flagellate, I suppose. No doubt he's convinced himself that it's his fault an S-class criminal infiltrated an exam that his students were otherwise prepared for."
Gai frowned. "I had heard of this most cowardly deed, but not why."
A tiny thumb pointed at the sleeping brunette. "He put some sort of seal on Sasuke's neck through a hickey of death, tried to feed Naruto to a snake, and ri- (a quick breath) – killed Sakura. I think he just rolled into town to fuck over team 7, basically."
The jounin winced, both at the bad news and the cavalier way the girl tried to deliver it. Someone less familiar with the evasive tactics his rival employed whenever emotions reared their ugly head might have thought the girl was cold. He knew better. His rival had apparently managed to teach the girl more than just jutsu. It was a shame.
"I am sorry to hear that." He maintained a low, solemn tone. "I will deliver one hundred flowers to her home." He left off a condition for failing.
"Actually, that's a lovely idea," the girl said quietly. "Could I help? I think I like the idea of planting living flowers for her better, though. A little less ephemeral." He winced. Good point.
"Of course. Thank you for sharing this information, Aiko-chan. I will continue my search for my eternal rival."
"Did you check the stone?"
He shook his head. "Not yet. I had thought that he might still be caught up in current events. Goodbye."
Aiko yawned into the room where she was now the only person awake. 'Gai-san is very polite, isn't he? I wonder why we've never been properly introduced. He knew who I was.'
With a night's worth of sleep and several conscious hours to process information, she was feeling much more like herself. It took her a while to delicately untangle herself from the pile of sleeping boys but she managed, quirking a tiny smile at how they murmured and readjusted to cuddle each other once she was out of the bed. She didn't know when Naruto had crawled in, but all three of them had probably needed the human contact. That didn't mean that the boys wouldn't be horrified to wake up without her as a barrier from each other's cooties, of course.
She took a moment to hope that a nurse caught them so someone else could see how adorable they were, and another to hope that Kakashi had forgotten her little panic attack last night. It had been a stupid reaction. She didn't even like Sakura, after all, and her death had not been Aiko's fault.
The redhead physically bit the tip of her tongue to keep from savaging her lip any further. In lieu of thinking, she sauntered out of the room and down the immaculate, empty hallway.
'The terminology isn't exactly right, but is the 'plot' fucked over without Sakura? Was she really so important?' The hospital passed in a blur and became a damp, chill morning. She absently noticed that she had forgotten to put on her boots. 'I might have to take her place. Or am I thinking about this in the wrong way. Clearly, I can't assume things will turn out like the manga. My knowledge is useless, except as information about people's personalities and motives… even that can be subject to change.'
Aiko grimaced.
'Fuck. This is all so messed up.'
~~~
As it turned out, her sensei did not conveniently forget about her panic attack. She was scheduled for a meeting with a combat psych specialist. It was an irritating waste of time and Aiko bluffed her way through it, being at least sane enough to know the right answers even if they weren't honest ones. Yes, she was grieving. It had been a shock. No, Haruno-san had not been a particularly close friend, but it had been the first time she had seen a dead comrade. She was anxious to serve her village.
And so on.
It must have gone well enough, because she didn't get forced back for another one, unlike both of the boys. They were both years overdue for mental assessments, if she were to be honest.
She hadn't seen her sensei since he'd left the hospital less than 24 hours ago, but she had been cleared to return to training and the active lists after her evaluation. With her teammates still waiting to be cleared and her teacher missing, Aiko was working alone in training ground seven when Ino trotted up, dragging Rock Lee of all the people. She eyed the odd couple warily- Ino seemed pleased with herself and as if she was plotting, but that was normal. The boy behind her appeared to be missing half his eyebrows and had the vaguely concussed look she associated with people who had recently been subjected to the full force of Ino's personality for the first time.
'They seem like two people who would conflict. An unstoppable force and an immovable object, really.'
"Hello Ino, Rock-san." She gave them half her attention, working on her aim flipping kunai behind her into her blind spot.
"We're looking for Forehead Girl," Ino brusquely interrupted. Aiko winced. The other girl frowned, an expression Aiko could hear in her voice. "What's that weird look for?"
Aiko ran a hand through her hair, feeling stressed and not wanting to be the one to share the news. Why wouldn't someone have told the girl's yearmates already? It had been almost two days since …
'Nothing for it, I suppose.'
"I thought everyone knew. Sakura's dead."
Lee swallowed, hard. His jaw worked soundlessly.
"That's not funny, Aiko." Ino's expression was blank, but her eyes seemed to be pleading Aiko to claim it was all just a bad joke.
She shook her head at the pale-faced genin in front of her. "No, it isn't. The boys are still in the hospital. They ran into… Well. Someone way out of our league took the test as an opportunity to get to Sasuke." Wordlessly, she turned back to slamming kunai into her target. When she next checked, she was alone again.
~~~
Wherever he was hiding, Kakashi was doing a damn good job of it. No one seemed to know where he was. Aiko had apparently been elected to be the deliverer of bad news for all of fucking Konoha, so when no one else would clue Sasuke in she told him what she knew of his curse mark.
His reaction made her think that he might not be leaving Konoha, or at least not for Orochimaru. Sasuke had scowled, digging his short nails into the mark as if he wanted to scratch the skin off. If this was the same curse mark depicted in her foreknowledge, then they might have changed things by getting the seal over it before it had a chance to totally flood his chakra system overnight. So far, he hadn't activated it.
Naruto had been creepily quiet ever since he woke up, clinging to both Aiko and a reluctant Sasuke (who had apparently gotten out all of the feelings in one go and would no longer tolerate them).
She desperately wanted an adult to come in and take care of things. It was a strange impulse, considering that she was an adult in more than one way.
No one did, though. In fact, the day of Sakura's funeral (a closed affair the Haruno parents had absolutely forbid any ninja from attending) she was called to the Sandaime's office and introduced to a distant cousin, a red-eyed girl who would apparently be staying with her and Naruto for the foreseeable future.
Seeing Karin was a bit of a shock. It was hard to imagine that anything she had done would change the world this much—Karin had certainly never defected to Konoha in the anime. It certainly clinched her belief that her foreknowledge was effectively useless.
"I don't want her here," Naruto scowled as soon as he had gotten away from their new housemate, sounding very much unlike himself. "We don't need anyone else."
With a sigh, Aiko pulled her brother into a one-armed hug in their bedroom while the older girl bedded down for the night on the couch. "Naruto, I know you're hurting right now and it's not good timing, but we're all the family she's ever known. You wouldn't leave her all alone, would you? Imagine if I'd never had you. That's what it's always been like for her."
Her otouto sighed, hanging his head. "It just… it feels like she's trying to replace Sakura-chan."
Karin was alright- surprisingly intelligent and not nearly as whiny as Aiko would have predicted. She was strangely shy, though. The girl sleeping on the futon in her front room was a year older than her, and remarkably underskilled for someone who had attended an international chuunin exam. Naruto wanted nothing to do with her, possibly seeing her as some sort of Sakura replacement.
Aiko was more practical about it, however. She knew that Karin actually had a fair bit of potential, despite her current weakness- the Uzumaki stamina and totally unparalled sensing abilities could help Konoha out in the future. That in mind, she spent a fair bit of time training with the girl. This served double purposes—Karin was more than eager to explore a familial connection and was obviously a lonely little girl. She had only spent two nights with the twins before the Hokage called Aiko to check in.
"Tell me, Aiko-chan. How is Karin-chan adjusting to life in Konoha?"
Aiko kept a stiff back, knowing that this was an unofficial mission report of sorts. There was probably a good reason the girl had been put under direct supervision of an active duty nin, after all. "She seems emotionally invested in obtaining a relationship with myself and to a lesser extent, Naruto. I think that she can feel the Kyuubi through her sensing abilities and that it frightens her, but she has yet to comment. Karin appears to have little loyalty to Grass itself, but that does not mean she doesn't have a loyalty to someone from Grass. My assessment is that we can put a reasonable amount of trust in her at this moment, but that it would be unwise to give her access to sensitive information or increase her combat ability drastically."
"Hmm." Sarutobi eyed her harshly, and then gave a sigh. "Continue monitoring her. I want both of you to report to training field 1 tomorrow. She will be inducted into our force as a genin if she passes an assessment, and will report to the hospital for basic training as a field medic after psych evaluation by a Yamanaka. She will still be under your supervision." He scrawled a signature on a paper, and then handed it to her. "Bring that tomorrow. Dismissed."
Karin easily passed the assessment and gave her new headband on the standard blue a long, strange look before she tied it around her forehead. Aiko companionably nudged the other girl with a shoulder. "Doesn't she look nice with that, Iruka-sensei?"
The chuunin smiled, marking the last of his evaluation and signing it. "Karin-chan looks very nice indeed. I'm almost sorry I can't claim you were one of my students. I would be proud of any student with mastery over such a unique technique. You'll be a credit to Konoha, Karin-chan."
Aiko tried not to snigger at just how red the other girl went. 'Puppy crush? Iruka-sensei is pretty damn cute, if he's never yelled at you.'
"T-thank you," she squeaked, fiddling with her brown glasses. "What now, Iruka-san?"
He scanned his files. "Well, it looks like the Hokage seems to think you'll do well as a field medic to complement your existing abilities as a support specialist. You report for introductory training tomorrow afternoon at the lower level of the hospital. If you do well in that class, you will be assigned a mentor." He paused for a moment. "I would suggest that you remember to work on your combat skillset as well," he sheepishly cautioned. "There's a bit of a tendency to let those skills stagnate when a medic starts training."
"Don't worry," Aiko chimed in, easily faking a light hearted attitude. "I won't let her get russsssty."
Indignant, Karin jabbed an elbow into her gut when Iruka was looking away. "Thank you again!" She bowed, allowing her short red hair to flip over her face in a move that sent a light cloud of perfumed air floating. Aiko twitched.
'She's wearing way too much perfume for a ninja.'
Aiko tucked her hands into the pockets of her long tunic. "We need to look into getting a new place," she remarked. "A one bedroom apartment isn't going to cut it for three teenagers."
Karin gave a tentative smile, one hand skimming over the cool metal of her protector. "Sounds fine to me. I've never had my own place before."
The place they ended up finding the very next day (a good ninja doesn't waste time, Karin reminded Naruto when he sulked) was an actual house on the outskirts of town almost to the great walls, not another apartment. It was traditionally styled and had a lot of floor space that was easily converted into a four bedroom home with a kitchen, sitting room and lounge. Aiko had to grimace at the damage the house payment did to her nest egg—despite thinking she had a ton of money saved, there wasn't enough to take care of all the expenses she wanted. She was the only one with a significant amount of saved money- Karin had essentially nothing, and Naruto had only ever worked D-class missions and the one fluke A class. They moved over the crappy old furniture with Sasuke's reluctant help, with the plan of replacing it for nicer furnishings when they could.
She hadn't seen any of her usual associates since the disaster of the second exam—Kakashi had apparently slunk back onto the ANBU rolls without a word, Anko had taken some long-term mission out of the village, and Ino was nowhere to be found.
Gai kept his word from the hospital, however, and three days after the funeral he showed up toting Lee and an enormous assortment of seedlings for a garden. Sakura's parents refused to have it on their property—they blamed the ninja for getting their daughter killed and actually declared that they planned to move out of Konoha, taking their business with them. Iwa would probably welcome them with open arms.
They made the entire front yard of the new Uzumaki home into Sakura's garden, mostly because there was nowhere else to put it. Naruto must have talked to Ino because she showed up in ratty old gardening clothes that somehow still looked designer and directed the layout with a slightly subdued but still bossy mien. Sasuke slouched up about a minute before they started and deigned to help by digging.
The project was cathartic, even though they were a motley crew. Karin had fussed around, not quite comfortable where she knew she was an outsider. Ino had a long history of adopting lost little ducklings, however, and she pulled the other girl in with a good facsimile of her usual flippant grace.
It was then that Aiko learned that Ino had accidentally adopted Lee, too. She wasn't sure if she was amused or horrified when it came out that after Lee had totally outclassed her at the chuunin exams, Ino had proposed that if he would train with her she would help him be fashionable and then taken his reflexive thumbs-up as agreement before he'd had a chance to explain that he loved his jumpsuit and bowlcut.
Ino was probably regretting that deal- she looked exhausted and couldn't move without cringing. Lee looked about the same. The unstoppable force of Ino's personality had been at least temporarily stymied by Lee's immovable conviction of youth.
She was probably going to regret having a permanent memorial to someone she hadn't particularly liked but had inadvertently killed in her front yard, but at least it was beautiful.
~~~
"Hokage-sama, I need a mission. I haven't run one in months and I'm supporting a household of three… one of which you dumped on me," she added, tone slipping from its respectful beginning to a slightly resentful address.
The ANBU standing in the doorway gave a glare she could practically feel through his cat shaped mask and the back of her shirt, but the Sandaime only nodded. "That's fine, Aiko-chan. I'm sure I can find something. But as you say, Karin-chan is in your care. How do you propose to do that while out of the village?"
She frowned. "Unless you want me to retire, I can't always be with her anyways. Not if she's going to be reporting to the hospital daily. Otherwise I would take her with me."
"I think a short field mission under your command with Sasuke and Naruto-kun would not harm her progress overmuch," he commented lightly. "and increase the household income." Wrinkles formed in his forehead as he frowned. His next thought was mused to himself more than shared for her to comment on. "Then again, it seems risky to take the Uchiha out of the village without at least a jounin to ensure his safety when we know he is being hunted." He gave a long sigh. "On second thought, that mission is out. I will send a directive to the hospital ensuring that Karin-chan gets onto the payroll starting tomorrow. She can help out around as part of her internship. Naruto…" He smiled fondly. "I think he would appreciate training more than the safe, in village missions. With Kakashi-kun preoccupied, I think I will have him and Uchiha-kun report to Asuma for team training temporarily, so they do not lack guidance."
She shifted her stance slightly, the only indication that she was anxious for the conclusion of his long train of thought. It was good that he had addressed everyone else who mattered, but she really just wanted to know about her next mission.
"Wait a moment."
The old man shuffled through his files, mumbling "no, not that one, no, no…" and flipping through pile after pile of the far too abundant paperwork. "I have a two-man chuunin team you can be temporarily reassigned to, heading to one of the outlier villages to investigate complaints of missing nin in the area. Supposedly they've been running roughshod."
~~~
ANBU dog (and he was dog now, it hurt too much to be Hatake Kakashi) led his small pack through Rice Country in search of the target. This mission -delivering a single message to an ally- was a bit of a joke, but speed was critical.
The only person who could help his kid with that seal was currently drinking and whoring his way on a never-ending circuit through the Elemental Nations in search of information and something that dulled the ache of years of failure. Dog could sympathize, though he self-medicated that pain differently.
The man in question was found balls-deep in a petite redhead with long, silver fingernails and matching paint over her closed eyelids. From the door, Dog idly watched those nails trace delicate red lines down the Toad Sage's back and wondered when the man would be done. He was an older man, after all. Another few minutes at most.
The couple didn't react to his silent entry, but the older man almost certainly sensed his presence. Dog didn't leave, knowing damn well that if he turned away there was a good chance Jiraiya would slip away instead of accepting the summons to Konoha. If he didn't get the orders then he could hardly be considered in defiance of them, after all.
After the whore had tied shut her pink yukata, she gave both the men a plastic, businesslike smile and left the room. She was professional… He had almost expected her to be surprised when she noticed him.
Whores and ninja had a lot more in common than conventional thought held. Her job was probably harder—she couldn't wear a literal mask to hide her distaste. He cheated, as did his little kohai.
He moaned and groaned and tried to coax Dog and his two subordinates into going out for drinks (especially the curvy one), but Jiraiya eventually sulkily gave in and read the missive… and then gave Dog a genuinely sympathetic look. "Lost your first student, eh?" He clapped Dog on the back with enough force to make even a grown man who happened to be an elite jounin fault forward. "You're fooling yourself, you need a drink far more than I".
ANBU kitty cat (he hated that name, but Dog's first kohai really was more of a kitty cat than a cat) shifted uncomfortably in a way that implied he hadn't known what the Toad Sage just shared. Their third member, ANBU gecko didn't so much as twitch. She'd always been good. Or maybe she was just too high to care. As long as she did her job, Dog would not investigate whether or not his subordinates were self medicating. Most ANBU did after a few months in the force.
"Fine, don't reply. See if you ever get a signed copy of anything again."
If he had been being Kakashi and not Dog, that might have pained him. It would later when he was a man again. Dog didn't read really excellent novels of high romance, great adventures, clever protagonists and heroines who were self-sufficient but obligingly helpless in the face of things like spiders and Mist nin (about the same threat level in the novel's context, a jab that had nearly started a war) so that the clever protagonist could be rewarded with…
He ducked his chin slightly so that his cool porcelain mask pressed down on his nose, keeping blood from escaping and signaled his team that it was time to go.
Kami help him, those kids would probably be better off if they never saw him again, but he still wanted to get back and make sure he hadn't totally failed Minato sensei and Obito (and what kind of person was he, that if he'd had to choose from his four students, he might have made the choice Orochimaru made for him?)
Speaking of students, his second kohai was going to be absolutely furious with him. She was unhealthily dependant on him, a fact that he was hyper aware of and made uncomfortable by.
They would be better off without him. It was time for them to find new sensei, sensei who wouldn't get them killed. Naruto was his father's shade in walking, talking, vivid color and Jiraiya was a sentimental man. Getting him a teacher would be no trouble. And he knew plenty of other jounin whose lives he had saved at some point or other. Surely one or two of them could take on an exceptionally talented student.