My feet move around under me, shuffling, nervous.
Not for the spar.
For something else.
Calm down lud, calm. You tested it already, it worked, nothing bad happened, you can do it.
My hand squeeze nothing, then relax fully again, then squeeze nothing.
Alright, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it.
I look around with the kind of nervousness someone that won't gonna do it would have, my eyes land on balrow who's fastening his strap, he's almost done.
Almost ready.
And I'm not.
The coils of hunger lash out. Not accepting losing even a second of my time, of the sweet skill testing time.
My spear appear right in front of my belly.
My hand that was squeezing jump to grab the shaft of my spear.
Fueled by hunger.
Some days ago.
It took me reassuring. Throws of water bottles. Random theory. Cloth to feel. And the jokes of annie to help me take it out.
Scared shitless about the possession. About feeling my thoughts drowning in some kind of nehandartal territory.
Right now. It barely took a second.
The feeling, just behind my throat. A big stuck knot pulse. It doesn't have time for bullshit.
For what I feel. Should have expected that.
My eyes look up and down at the wood. Every detail, every hint of the oiled polished wood.
Everything, everything to ignore how I'm taking big breath in through my nose, faster inhale, slowly inhale.
Primming my muscles for a fight. Impatient for the TESTING
Alright, alright.
I have it, and everything is fine.
I was scared my title would react badly with the shady feeling inside me, but I was overeacting.
It knot in my throat, again.
Like always. I was overreacting, like always.
Pushing the spear down on the ground. Butt first on the wood of the hallway. Everything seems fine. My thumb trail over the wood. Slowly. Extremely slowly.
Just feeling the wood.
Feeling my heartbeat, who's way faster than normal.
Wait what. A flash of panic rise, remembering how my thoughts flew away from me when I fought the boar.
How my heart beat, fast, too fast forcing my abused muscles to meet.
My vision blur as if I had PTSD an-! Everything get swiftly swatted away by the anger and hunger rising in my throat.
Just like it never happened.
It isn't that high.
It's normal, it's just faster because of how I'm psyching myself up, that's all.
Lifting the spear up and resting it above my shoulder, I look at balrow, who's just in front of me.
I don't want to kill him. He's not a meal in my eyes...
Alright!
Alright, HAH! A chuckle escape me, balrow eyes look up to stare at me, with the kind of confusion that ask a question.
Lifting my free hand and waving it to show that there is nothing, I barely manage to get a breath and calm myself up.
"Nothing, nothing don't worry" he stop staring, take my word for it and go back to finishing his straps, securing it well.
Fuck! I was overthinking this shit way too much.
This disgusting feeling can be useful sometimes!
Squeezing my hand around my spear, my grip is hard and secure but not so hard that I can feel my tendons popping.
Great, I'm good.
Fuck you system, I'm fine and good.
Alright! Jumping up and down, now ready, and eager for a fight.
The knot inside my throat settle into a dull presence.
I barely manage to stop myself for a second. Just enough time to take some clothes out and surround the butt of my spear with as much clothes as possible.
Balrow eyes look at my hands, eagerly preparing my weapon. He can probably feel my excitation for a mile away.
But like!
Understand me man.
I have my shoes on and they feel NORMAL! Comfortable.
I don't want to throw them away, that's just awesome! This fucking point in magic has NO FUCKING GROUND ON ME!
Alright I'm psyched up.
My tongue come out to slide on my lips. Hungry.
It's not dull anymore, but at least it's natural.
Show me this fucking skill, my legs bend a bit down in a strange kind of spear guard, strange squatting spear guard.
Nothing much really, just letting my knees be soft and bended as I push the clothed part of my spear forward.
But still, this kind of position is just enough to show balrow my excitation and confirm him that I'm ready.
Looking at me, balrow take his own strange stance, putting his free hand behind his shield, one step forward, the other feet behind.
Bilateral stance.
His knees bend, some kind of athletic stance.
Just like me.
He nod at me, and my smile get bigger "good luck, be careful balrow, don't hesitate to tell me if we need to stop"
He nod at me but I barely see it.
The only thing I'm focused on is the way my heartbeat get faster, how the fire in my gut is rising to my muscles, how's despite everything.
Everything.
Despite the fact that I need to ready myself for a spar, despite the fact that I need to hype me up to simply take my spear out
Despite all of that.
Most of my attention is on my mind.
My mind who's throwing thousands of thoughts about how much I want to leaaaarn more about this skill.
Thousands.
It's not an exaggeration.
My jaw relax, my tongue lick all my teeth's. My eyes on balrow.
You want a proof? Here's what I'm thinking about.
Will this skill be as good as jenna? Will it help balrow, just give him more competence and skills more quickly?
My feet slam itself forward, pushing forward toward balrow.
Will it help him learn faster maybe? Like jenna? She switched her stance a bit, barely seeable. And she shooted better! Is the skill some kind of guidance? Or is it similar to how my title work? It's called a passive skill too, it's passing nature is evident.
Using the energy I got from slamming my feet against the ground, my hips turn to thrust forward, gently for now.
Oh wait! What if it give him more stats? Or something like a limited boost? Just imagine! You have a shield? You have the skill? Then boom, everytime you hold a shield and fight someone you're more solid, harder to move around. Keep on practicing and the stats will grow even more!
The butt of my spear. Covered in cloth. Land on balrow shield, he take it well, easily.
YES! That's it, look, he took my hit well! Such an impressive skill! Let's ontinue like that. My hit was slow and weak, but still, that's impressive! It will keep going to be like that. It will, like it was for jenna. How can I push him more? What is the best way to push him for more information?
Pushing a bit harder against the ground, I lean forward. Pushing my weight against the shield through my spear. Small step behind. And a faster hit on the metallic wall.
And boum! More tests. Yes, I will need to make the difficulty harder, slowly but surely. I'll test him. Test it, and then, then I'll figure out the skills! Change speed? Change strength? Do something unpredictable? Test.
I'm hungry.
Really hungry for more information, for that skill.
For power.
So I test him.
I squat down, push my spear below his shield, he lower it. This was a bait. I push my spear up, push it against his shield again.
He's solid, as usual. Is there any difference? Does it make him react faster? Maybe it's something similar to my necklace? But able to level up the boosts?
One big step to the left, turning around him, I push the side of my spear gently to his side. He manage to block it. Barely.
Huh, barely alright, that's...odd? No no, that's fine, maybe reactions isn't it?
One step closer, two steps, I push my spear against his shield. It dissapear in my hands as he push himself against the wind, trying to block the spear that was here a second before. Rushing, my hands touch his shield, pushing it and making him take three step back.
That's...
My spear reapper in front of my belly, I grab it.
That's....
I take my stance back on, he does the same.
That's...
I don't advance, just look at him. My heartbeat get slower. The coiling in my gut almost gone. My exictement? Gone.
That's...
Why is he so weak?