I'm being welcomed like a hero.
Before the faithful congregation of Fabled draconids, I'm first heralded and exalted by the Seraphim himself. A crown of laurels is placed atop my head, and a silk cloak made of a silvery shimmering material is laid over my shoulders–my very own Exalted Mantle. The moment it comes to rest, the body of it shifts hues to match the white of my scales, and its trimming does the same to match the red of my horns and spine. The Seraphim recounts the tale for all to hear, speaks volumes of my valor and bravery and glorious devotion to the Goddess, then names me a Radiant Fable as recognition of my victory, then decrees that I'm an inspiration for any and all who were born impure.
His exact words.
Afterwards, a feast is thrown in my name for all draconids who choose to attend, and I'm the guest of honor. There are more speeches, more exaltation, more cheers, and the decadent food is served to a cheerful joyous accompaniment of song songs and dance and music.
At which point, I cease to be the center of attention.
Thank the Goddess for that. I've hated every minute of this. It's a lie. It's all a lie most foul. I told them the Fell's loathsome lie. Why wouldn't I? It was either that or confess that I was taken prisoner and eventually handed the win despite doing nothing to earn it. No, I wasn't doing glorious valiant battle in the infested mountains of Settesia, I was perched on her lap being fed like a hatchling, swimming around in her pool, and nestling up in bed with her to sleep. And I'm supposed to tell the Primarchs that? Absolutely not.
This entire thing, the festivities and such, it only feels insulting. I'm merely the butt of some cruel joke, one that doesn't even make any sense. Even by freeing me, the Fell locked me into this ridiculous charade.
I poke my food around my plate with my claws. Decadent honeyed ham, seared steaks and smoked meats from Avi's forests, long tender flank cuts from a few sea serpents, battered and baked cockatrice wings, rotisseried thighs and legs from wild basilisks, sweet and juicy neck meat from hydras, even kirin tails which are nothing short of a delicacy.
None of it has any flavor.
Not to me, anyway.
These meats weren't cooked over hellfire.
They don't have ground up mushrooms on them.
They're either salted too little or far too much.
Nobody here is ever going to feed it to me either.
I simply eat whatever little I can stomach, wash it down with a few mai tais, then get up to leave by making a loud show of pushing my chair back and tossing my dishes on the table. Not a soul here seems to notice. Hissing through my teeth, I leave without a word.
Because of all this shit, I've been in the Heavens for hours, and I'm only just now going home. I drop off the huge skyland that hosts the festival grounds and plunge for several minutes, trying to lose myself in the rush of wind and the racing clouds, but nothing is drowning out this horrific and palpable disdain in my heart. I look at the colors of evening and sunset, which have always brought me pleasure or appreciation or at the very least warmth, but all I feel is weary, and cold, and alone.
I'm exhausted. I'm going straight to bed.
My skyland is all the way down near the lowest reaches of the Heavens. When at last I draw near, I open my wings wider and slow my fall, gently gliding in through the protective barrier and making a soft landing amidst the grass and reeds of my grounds. With a deep breath touched by the revitalizing scents of moss, pine, algae, and petrichor, I let my wings hang and my tail drag as I trudge past the pools and gardens directly up to the main entrance of my castle.
There's somebody waiting for me.
Seated on the front stairs, Hilde watches me draw closer and then stands to greet me with a short embrace. It's nice to see at least one friendly face. I decide against going to bed just yet, instead having a seat with her in the outdoor furniture at the banks of my salamander pool. The two of us sit in silence for a while, listening to the crickets singing as the sun gradually sets.
I don't know what to say so I don't say anything, taking off the worthless laurels and tossing them into the water for the herbivorous creatures to have, but carefully folding my Mantle. Deserved or not, I'm keeping it. I've always wanted one, just because they're neat and change colors.
Hilde is running her claws through her light blue hair, absentmindedly gazing at the rippling water. After another minute or two, she sighs and takes off her silver jewelry to set aside. "I knew you'd leave early."
"Right. Did you even attend? I didn't see you."
"No." She turns and looks at me, icy eyes soft. "I could tell you were miserable and wanted to go home. So, I thought I'd… wait here. Catch you afterwards, when it's quiet. Where you actually want to be. Not there, on display like some fucking… trophy."
I'm not in a good mood, so I make a jab. "Not because you didn't want to be seen supporting me? None of your Valorant friends showed up either. Can't imagine they'd be too keen about hearing that you were in attendance."
"I know you're worn out, so I'll ignore that one."
"I'm sorry. I know that was mean. I'm just…"
"Worn out. I know."
"Yeah. That describes it pretty well…"
"Do you want me to go, so you can rest?"
I hug my knees in my chair. "No."
"Okay. Dark soon. Am I staying over?"
"Um… Please. If… that's okay with you."
"Of course. I've already brought my things. Bit of a confession, but I've basically been living here these past few days. Obviously, I volunteered to take care of your gardens and animals and such, and I don't have anything like that up at my place to bother with maintaining, so I figured it was easiest to simply, um, commandeer yours."
Somehow, that reaches me, and I huff a weak laugh. "That's fine. Thank you for helping, Hilz. That was… really nice of you. I'm grateful. Very grateful."
"Anytime, Crimz."
She lays her thick blue tail out between us. I hesitate before doing the same, and we coil them together. The gesture of comfort and companionship is much appreciated, and it makes me feel a little less alone.
"There was this…" She trails off, clicking her black claws in thought. "Um. Serpent, I think. Slippy, right? He was shedding. But not very well. I was pretty sure he's the one you stick your tail in to help him scratch. So I did that. He's all better now. Just… Just so you know."
"O–Oh. Thank you. I was… worried about Slippy."
"Of course. Happy to help." The colors of sunset are in her eyes as she watches the clouds float by. "I should tell you, a number of the Valorant are…" She trails off in thought, curling our connected tails. "Somewhere between indignant belief and incredulous disbelief. They're pissed off about it. Just fucking envious."
"How is it… What? I don't understand, Hilz."
"Well, they're nothing short of flabbergasted. Not in the sense that they don't believe your story, but that they refuse to accept that a crossblood wyvern was able to do what they think should've been a pureblood dragon's mission. They can't believe that someone they think is worthless and impotent was able to singlehandedly defeat the Wretched. It's simple denial, really. Or something like that. And the fact you've been named a Radiant Fable is like an insult to them. Because again, if some lowly crossblood was exalted, then their status as exalted is invalidated. Your inclusion means they don't get to feel as special anymore. And to them, that's all your fault."
"Hells, why can't they just mind their own business?" I groan, holding my head up by the horns. "Should've seen this coming. Great. They're going to come after me even worse now."
"I… think so. I'm sorry. I'll do what I can…"
"Don't bother. I don't care. I'll avoid them like I always have. No use throwing yourself in the fire, Hilz. I'd hate for you to get hurt trying to protect me. I'm not your responsibility, and it isn't your obligation to protect me anymore. So just… forget it. Leave it alone. I'll be fine. One way or another…"
"You can say all that, and I'm going to agree to stay out of it, and we'll both know I'm lying. Just promise me one thing. And our tails are tied, so that makes this unbreakable. Please, Crimz. Please, please, please. If they ever hurt you… If they ever genuinely harm you… Please. Please, come to me. I will not allow that to happen. I will not stand by if you're in real danger. I care about you too much to let them do anything like that to you."
I don't say or do anything, hugging my knees and watching the water's surface. There's a sour taste in my tongue. This isn't the first time we've made this exact promise. It wouldn't be the first time if she later decides to break it either. I don't see the point in going through all this again, because I know exactly how it's going to turn out. But she's insistent and she won't let it go, so I'll just say what she wants to hear and be done with it.
"Fine. Promise." I'm going to keep my end of it.
"I promise too." She isn't going to keep hers.
And I already know that. So I'm already primed for the worst. It won't be any surprise if and when she turns her back on me. Everybody always does. They like to offer help because it makes them feel good, but then when I actually need it, they're just gone. Hilde used to be different. Hilde used to be better about it. But then she was named Valorant and everything fell apart. I've never felt so alone as I did back in those days, when I was in her shadow.
Well… Except right now.
Something about hollow promises…
It's like they emphasize isolation.
I don't trust her. I can't trust her.
I don't trust anyone. I can't trust anyone.
Someone please stop time so I can swim with my serpents forever. They'll never betray me. They'll never hurt me. They'll never assure me that they love me, but then act like I'm nothing to them. They'll never laugh at the cruel jokes other people make about me. They'll never forget about my hatchday, or my favorite kind of tea, or my fears of abandonment, rejection, and ridicule. All my pets will ever do, from now until the day I lose them, is love me.
Not one person in existence can say the same.
I feel like I should be crying but I only feel numb.
My pets love me but nobody else does. That hurts.
"Hilz?"
"Hm?"
"Are you seeing anyone?"
"No? Not since… Well, you."
"Can we… Can we have sex?"
"Oh. Um. I'm not against it. Do you want to?"
"Yes. I want you to crush me. Control me. Hurt me…"
"I… don't mind doing that either. If you're serious."
"Please. Please. I'm… Please."
"You still remember our word, right?"
I won't need it. "Yes."
"Then… Upstairs? Your bed?"
"Mhm."
I fly to my bedchambers in the tallest tower.
Hilde meets me there and lays me down with force.
This will help. This will heal me. At least for the moment…