I can hear her yelling as I approach Queensgate.
"I don't care!" she snaps at the guards outside Umbra's palace. Holy shit, she really is here. I can't see her yet, but I push my way through everyone trying to get closer as she keeps going on and on. "I just told you! I don't fucking care! Bring me to Crimson! How many damn times do I have to say it? Obviously, if you sidewinding fucking snakes were going to attack me for this, you'd have done it already! So get the fuck out of my way and let me see Crimson, damn it!"
"Hilde!" I call out, too short to see her over the dragon guards' heads. "Hilde! Ah–Hang on! Excuse me! Move! Queen's Rose, coming through!"
"Stand down, all of you," Umbra says from just behind me, leaving plenty of slack on my leash. Once the guards finally moved, she sighs and unfastens the leash from my collar, then starts undoing the collar itself too. "Go on, Crimsy. Do what you need to do. I won't eavesdrop, but if I sense danger…"
"I'm not in any danger. Why are you–" I lightly slap her hands away. "Stop that."
She frowns. "I don't suspect Hildegard will take kindly to the idea of me imprisoning you. Or making a pet out of you."
Scratching my head, I glance over my shoulder and mumble, "Yeah, probably not. But… Removing the leash is enough. I love my collar. Please, don't make me take it off…"
"Hm." She nods, letting me go. "I'm right here."
"Thank you, Umbsy. I love you."
"And I adore you. One thing, before you go. If she attempts to take you by force…"
I nod. "Take me back. Without harming her."
"Yes. Of course. It will be done, as you say."
"Thank you. Thank you. Um. Here goes…"
Fixing the fit of my collar, I slip past the guards and through the gigantic titan-sized portcullis to the threshold between the Queen's Palace and the city just outside it, Queensgate. A sprawling chasm of multilevel terraces carved from the stone and built into nothing short of an urban civilization. Thousands of yellow and orange glows twinkle from thousands of windows all throughout the expansive space, and an elaborate array of huge blazing braziers illuminates the space from a web of chains dangling from the ceiling. A few large columns rise from the bottom to the top, all of them built into and hollowed out to make more housing and businesses.
The Hells are just as alive as the Heavens.
Hilde–tall, beautiful, dignified, blue-white Hilde is standing with her arms crossed, giving me an incredulously vexed look as I draw nearer to her. "Crims. Hells, it's so fucking good to see you intact."
"Hilz!" I leap at her and latch on with arms and legs, overjoyed to see her again. "You're here! You're really here! Fuck, I missed you!"
"Yes, yes, I missed you too, that's why I–" She stops short, her glare darkening. "What the fuck is that? Are they forcing you to wear a fucking collar?"
"Forcing?" I tug at it, wincing a half smile. "N–No… She… Well, at first, yes, but–"
"I've heard enough. We're leaving. I don't know where we're going but you're not staying here. I'll cut a portal someplace on Avi–"
"Wait, wait, wait." I struggle free from her arms and land on my feet. "Hilz, slow down. What are you talking about?"
"What am I talking about?" She vaguely gestures around us. "We're in the fucking Hells, Crimson! Buried in the cold dark ground where good things go to die! Surrounded by these Wretched freaks just itching to murder us! And is–Fuck me, Crims, is that her? Is that the fucking Fell right over there? Hello? We need to leave. Now."
"Wait," I plead, grasping at her arm. "Wait! Stop! Just–"
"No. No." She shields me in her wings and curls her tail around me too. "Listen, Crims. Please. Listen to me. I won't pretend to know what you've been through down here, and you have a lot of good reasons to hate me if you choose to, but I can't allow this shit to continue. Whatever they're doing to you that's making you think you're on their side? It ends today."
I'm struck dumb for a couple seconds. "What? What do you mean?"
"I mean all of this. You're here, wearing a collar, skipping along through all these guards like they bow to you, totally relaxed in spite of where we are, and you're fighting with them too? I mean, what the fuck, Crimson? They say you're flying around slicing Legends' throats open and killing people with the Red Storm! As if somehow you're this vicious fucking killer now, the Fell's personal dagger or something, but that doesn't make any sense! That isn't you, red! It can't be true! It just fucking can't be! You're better than that!"
Oh. There. There it is. Now I feel guilty.
Hilde sees it in my eyes, and her face pales. "Crims?"
I'm lost for words. What do I say? What can I say?
"You… You are? You're fighting for them? Against… Against us?" Sorrow melts across her expression. "I–I thought you'd just stay somewhere on Avi after you fell. Not here. Never here. And to betray the Church… I don't understand. I don't understand at all. Are you… Hells, red, are you Wretched?"
I try to cover my rose tattoos, now painfully self conscious. "Hilde, I… I don't know what to tell you. Or… where to even begin."
"Have you truly been killing Legends, Crimson? With the Wretched?"
I don't want to tell the truth, but I have to. "Yes…"
"Fucking…" Hilde exhales an abrupt wheezing sound and walks away a few paces with her claws in her blue hair. With her back to me, she takes a deep breath and comes back over. "Why?"
"Revenge…"
"On who?"
"Kayus, Raiden, and Lucien…"
A new darkness comes over her. "Is that what you want? You want them dead. For what they did to you. Your pets. And everything else too."
"Yes…"
"Hells, red, consider it done. I'll kill them myself and bring you their heads."
"Hilde, I… I want to… I want to kill them…"
"Oh. Right, that makes sense. Okay, I'll bring them to you alive, and then you can do whatever you want. I won't judge you in the slightest. Hells, I could go for a bit of violence against them too. Then would you come back up to Avi with me? I can't get you into the Heavens yet, but I'm working on something. Until I have it, I'll make you a home somewhere, exactly how you like, anywhere you like. We'll make some new habitats, so you can have more pets than ever. And I'll commute from there to the Blazing Spire. Plenty of draconids have been granted primary residency on Avi, and I'm certain with my rank they'll hardly protest."
I'm lost, trying to catch up. "Wh–What? You want… You want to live with me?"
"I do." She's dead serious. Her tail wraps around mine and she takes my hand too. "I want to live with you, red. And take care of you. And provide for you. As… Well…" She trails off, cheeks going a little pink. "As your girlfriend. Um. I want to… be with you again."
My heart grips.
"I'm sorry," she tells me, looking me deep in the eyes as she takes my other hand too. "I'm sorry, Crimson. For everything. I was wrong. I was wrong, all of those times I failed you. When those pathetic fucking drakes of the Order tormented you, and all I did was apologize and make excuses for them. I minimized the pain they caused you, when I should've supported you and had your back. I know it's no excuse, but I was scared. Scared to go against them. Scared to compromise my career. Scared they might come after me too… But… You know that already. It's why we… Why I ended things between us…"
My heart aches.
"I was wrong," she murmurs, head low. "I see that now. Clearly. I'm… sorry it took so long for me to make the right decision. But after they burned your skyland, I realized how stupid I was being. How wrong I was to stand by and try to stay neutral while they were hurting you." Tears run from her crystal blue eyes. "You always should've been first, Crimson. Always. You didn't deserve any of what they did to you, and you deserved so much better from me than I gave you, and I'm so, so, so fucking sorry for that. It will never happen again."
My heart warms.
"What I'm trying to say is…" She snivels, wiping her eyes with her white robe's sleeve. "I know what I did to you was wrong, and I will do better. So, please… Will you give me another chance? Will you come with me and leave this awful place? Will you give up this… This violence against the Church? And will you live with me on Avi, in a home just for the two of us, where we can build a good life together? Please, Crims. Please…"
I'm caught disarmed, unprepared, and unsuspecting. "Wh–What? Hilde? Are you–Are you really asking me to…"
"Yes." Her eyes burn, glistening with tears. "Yes. I'm asking you to be with me. In all the ways I should've been with you before."
I gape up at her, slackjawed. Is this really happening?
"I know it's a lot to ask," she sighs, tearing up again. "You have so many good reasons to tell me to fuck off. And I wouldn't blame you for it. The way I abandoned you and left you to fend for yourself is, in my eyes, unforgivable. I'm not asking for forgiveness. I don't deserve it. I just hoped maybe we could… Move forward. From this. Together. And… You're not… saying anything."
I find a few words. "It's okay, Hilde. Thank you for apologizing. I forgive you. And I'm willing to move forward, yes. All of this is best left in the past. Where it belongs."
She shakes her head, wipes her tears. "No, no, no… I don't… deserve it."
"Do you remember what you said to me? Up there. When you tracked me down to the Archives, and I apologized for saying I was afraid you might hurt me. Hilde, you told me this. It's a good thing you don't get to decide on it. It's done. I'm not going to hold it against you, whether you want me to or not."
Jaw clenched as she fights herself to keep from sobbing, she bobs her head a few times. "Right. Right. I did say that. I did…"
"And now I'm saying the same to you. Okay? You asked to move forward, so let's move forward. Both of us. Leave it behind with me. Please, Hilde."
"I'll… I'll try. But this guilt will never subside."
"I understand that much." Reaching up, I do what Umbra has so often done for me, and use the back of a claw to wipe away her tears. "It's okay, Hilde. Trust me. I wouldn't be saying it unless I meant it."
"Okay…" she whimpers, wrapping her arms around me. "Okay… I'm sorry, Crimson. I'm so sorry. I hate myself for it. But I'll never let anything like it happen ever again. I promise. I promise… Tail promise…"
"Tail promise." I wriggle ours, still entwined, and smile up at her as I embrace my tall blue dragon girl. "I'm okay with that. If you are too, then we're okay."
"Y–Yeah." She snivels again, squeezing me a little. "Yeah. I can be… We're okay. So long as you are…"
I don't say anything, simply holding onto her as the worst comes to pass. It feels good to be in her embrace again, and the scent of her lilac fragrance is so relaxing. She weeps for a few more minutes and then it's over, and the two of us continue to hug for several more. I'm so happy she came after me. I'm so happy she apologized. I'm so happy she's on my side now.
I love her. I still love Hilde.
There's just one snag.
One very big snag.
I also love Umbra.
What am I going to do?