Underwater. It's dark. Serene. Quiet.
And then it isn't.
I'm fighting. Desperately. Clawing and pushing and gnashing. Power against power. Force against force. The water churns as I thrash against its weight and pressure with everything that I have left in me. My wings catch entire fathoms. My lungs burn with the strain. My claws hook, tug, tear. Fight it. Fight it. I have to fight it.
I have to kill it.
Die.
I have to fight it.
Die.
I have to drown him.
Die!
I wake up with a sharp gasp.
My body is ablaze with fear. I cannot seem to take a full breath but I'm trying with all my heart. The world before my eyes has shifted so dramatically I can't comprehend how I got here. One second I was there, underwater, and now I'm… Now I'm…
At a table inside a cozy little cottage.
There's somebody staring at me.
She's very, very close. Antennae glowing.
"Nightmare," Penny murmurs, pink eyes gaping wide. "Don't be afraid, Crim-Crim. It's gone now. Banished. For a time…"
I frantically glance around. Right. Right. We're in Penny's new cottage, built in a back corner of Umbra's library just next to a small lily and koi pond. It's babbling just outside. The downstairs floor is one big room, half kitchen and half study. It smells like fresh tea leaves and smoldering incense. She keeps it on the warmer side, using a few well placed thermal runes. No fires allowed.
Exhaling a heavy sigh of relief, I pull her into my lap and hold my soft little moth girl for comfort. Sadly, my giant adorable dragon woman is busy running the Hells today, and isn't available to comfort me right now. I miss her. But I chose to be here instead of in court with her. For days on end, I've been scouring her library for any hint as to where Longevity could be, but I haven't found a damn thing.
"Thank you, Penny," I murmur, kissing her head. "Thank you…"
"Mhm." She kisses my cheek, hugging me back. "All better?"
"All better." I'm not letting her go until I have to. "Um. What happened? Did I fall asleep?"
"Yes. Maybe it's too warm in here. You know I run cold."
"No, I think I'm just…" My head rests in the crook of her neck. "Tired. Worn out. Stressed. I don't know."
She starts running her claws across my head and through my hair. "You've been working on this for nearly two weeks now. A little… intensely. And you haven't been resting enough. Even Miss Umbra is worried…"
"I know, I know." Resting for just a moment, I absorb the wonderful feeling of having Penny in my arms. "It's just… You know. I told her I would do this. I told her I would find it. I have to. For her. I haven't done anything to help her since the ambushes, and the intelligence team hasn't made any progress, so if I can get this done–"
"Wait." She straightens up a little, gazing into my eyes with our noses nearly touching. "What are we talking… Um. What are you looking for again? I forgot…"
"I haven't told you, Penny. Not that I don't trust you, because I definitely do, but it's very important that nobody knows what we're trying to do. And she said not to talk about it. I don't want to break her trust. Ever. I'm sorry."
"Hm? Sorry for what?"
"That I can't tell you what we're looking for."
"We're looking for something? What is it?"
"I love you, Penny. So much. You're perfect."
"Oh. Thank you. I love you too, Crim-Crim." She kisses me softly, then gets more comfortable and curls up in my lap. "I'm scared."
My protective instincts kick in. "Tell me why. I'll save you."
"I'm scared you're working too hard. I don't like it…"
"I know. I'm sorry. This is just really important to me."
"Because you want it or because she wants it?"
"Hm?" I meet eyes with her. "Who? Umbra? Oh. Both."
"You want to kill the G… Kill Aurora?"
"Yes. I do. She had the power to stop them from killing my pets and burning my skyland, but she did nothing. Which is tantamount to allowing it. Beyond that, she allowed every fucking abuse I ever faced. The lives we both lived, Penny, have been so fucking difficult for us because she created the rules under which we suffer. On my end as a crossblood and your end as someone who's atypical in the head. All those horrors you grew up with as the daughter of two vicious aristocrats who hated your entire existence, just because you were different? Aurora created and governs the society that keeps those vile fucking jackals in power, and she allowed your parents to break you apart at the seams on every level. The Goddess is the ultimate beacon of goodness and virtue, right? She sees all that there is to see, right? So why didn't she step in to help you? Because she doesn't care. She just does not fucking care about us."
"But… wouldn't some argue that those tribulations… They're lessons to be learned, no? The God–" She pauses, antennae freezing in place. A second or two later, they go back to rubbing. "Aurora gives us… Challenges. To overcome. Facing them teaches us. To… To strengthen our faith."
"Then she is the one making us suffer. The Valorant, your parents, they're just the tools she used–intentionally–to hurt us. Why would that strengthen our faith? Someone willingly chooses to hurt us and we're supposed to take that as a lesson? To make us turn to that very same person for salvation from the pain they themselves caused us? They're not lessons on faith, Penny, they're acts of cruelty to foster dependence. That is monstrous. That is fucking evil. The Great Deceiver. It was never Umbra. It was always Aurora. So yes, I do in fact want to rip that fucking snake out of the sky. Not just for my own pains, but everyone else's. She deserves to die. But I can't kill a divine being. Umbra can. So, I'm doing this for myself and for her. Both to do what is right and to support the woman I love. That's why I'm so intent on seeing this through."
Penny doesn't say anything for a while, simply staring into my eyes. Her antennae are still rubbing against each other, which tells me that she's thinking. I'll give her all the time in the world to do so. Is that so fucking difficult? Hells, I hate her parents with a vengeance.
Finally, she blinks. "Okay. I'm convinced. I asked to live here because I don't like the Heavens and I want to read forever. Those were my main reasons. But now, hearing this, from you… Yes. I want to contribute. I want to help. Both you and Miss Umbra. The Godd–Ah. Damn it. That's taking some getting used to. Aurora is my enemy now as well."
"Then I welcome you to the cause," I huff, hugging her again. That feels good. Few people truly listen to what I have to say quite like Penny does. "Thank you for hearing me. I know you'll be a huge help. But… I don't want you to get hurt. You're an incredible arcanist, I know that, but I'm not sure you should risk being on the battlefield. Speaking from lived experience…"
"Oh, of course not. I don't intend to. I was thinking something more along the lines of information, intelligence, tactics, and strategy. That way I can help from right here, where it's safest. Well, within the palace. You understand. Do you… Do you think she would let me? Miss Umbra?"
"Let you?" I snicker, kissing her forehead. "Umbsy will do anything I say. So, yes, once I tell her this, she will bring you into the intelligence division. And I'll make sure everyone else there knows how you operate, and how to interact with you."
"That would be nice…"
Sliding her arms around my neck, Penny shifts her body around so she's straddling my lap in this chair, and she holds onto me for a long while without saying anything. Then her dusty white and pink moth wings twitch just before she straightens up. Oh, shit. Her antennae are glowing pink. We're taking a dive. She's about to do her thing. The thing Penny does best. Project management.
Or in this case…
Problem solving.
"Aurora is divine. I've read multiple sources which pertained to the nature of divinity itself, and there is abject certainty between all reliable sources that anything that is divine cannot be destroyed. Thus, Aurora cannot be killed, so she mustbe rendered inert and, more importantly, contained. That said, a divine entity can only be injured, harmed, impeded, or otherwise incapacitated by another divine entity–something or someone which exists not within the confines of our finite universe, but in the infinitesimal dimension that encompasses all things. Therefore, in order to 'kill' Aurora, we need a divine entity. The first that comes to mind, of course, is Umbra, but there must be some complication, because if she could do it herself she would have already done so long ago. Which means you require an alternative. I don't imagine Umbra intends to seek out another divine being, so the only other alternative is a divine weapon. That's what you're looking for, isn't it?"
Shit. Well, I'm not telling her about it, am I?
Penny figured it out on her own.
"I… don't want to betray Umbra's trust."
"I understand. There's no need for confirmation anyway. I know I'm right." Her hands come to rest on my shoulders as she gazes down at me with an expression that's hard to read. The light of her antennae is twinkling in her eyes. "There are numerous divine weapons that have been documented, a good number of which are present in these localized realms between the Heavens, Avi, and the Hells. Which raises the question… Do we not already have divine weapons at our disposal?"
I don't know the answer to that. "Um. Hm."
"Didn't you tell me that the Solar Shield and the Sunbeam are in Miss Umbra's possession? Those are both divine. As is the Veilcutter; I know that one for certain. Not to mention Rend, Lunaris, Forbidden, the Titan Hammer, the Black, the Witcheater, and the Stern. I could list more but I see you're confused."
"Um. I didn't know divine weapons existed until recently."
"Right." She pauses there, eyes cutting diagonally down to the floor while she drums her claws on my shoulders. Hells, her antennae are working overtime. "My point is… There's no reason why you or anyone else should be searching for a divine weapon with which to defeat the Goddess. Aurora. So why are you doing it?"
"I… don't know." My hands hold her waist and hips as my metaphorical antennae rub together as well. "I never asked her that, but I'm sure there's a good reason."
"Hm." Penny squints at me. "No, I can't even begin to guess. But if it were somewhere on Avi, she would've already retrieved it. Which means the weapon is somewhere in the Heavens. There's a long list of them. But which one would fit the task best? Hm…"
I'm scared to say anything. I don't want to.
Penny looks over her shoulder at the books on the table. "Ancient Swords Of Fable."
Shit.
"That hardly narrows it down," she sighs, then abruptly stands up off my lap. "Where is Miss Umbra? I'd like to speak with her. Please."
"Oh." I miss her in my arms already. "Um. She's in court. But she'll drop everything if I ask her to. Are we going now?"
"Yes, please."
I leave everything as it is on her kitchen table and lead the way out of the library. From what I know, the court is in discussion regarding defensive measures to prevent any retaliation from reaching us in the Hells, but Umbra is most likely ready for a break, and she's always happy to have me around.
I quite like being the Queen's pet.
And I wonder if Penny knows something we don't.