I was feeling more and more tense.
Each step, each crossing… brought me closer to Saki.
My mind began to play tricks on me.
Imagining her tear-streaked face,
her disappointed gaze,
made a knot in my stomach.
But I had to be tough.
I had to avoid her limiting me.
I had to stop feeling.
Gritting my teeth,
I squeezed the girl in my arms.
My hand went to her breasts.
She trembled, but didn't push me away.
She just lowered her head.
That calmed me a little.
> Maybe I really have some kind of fetish for breasts.
It's not for nothing that I would drool every time I saw Parrillera's pair bounce.
Now that I think about it...
Wasn't this girl a sort of hybrid between Twin Tails and Parrillera?
Did my subconscious choose someone like this to relieve my repressed desires?
Thinking about those useless trivialities,
I managed to push the image of Saki out of my head.
There wasn't much left to go.
---
***
Saki was happy.
Her boyfriend was going to stay overnight.
Although disappointed that he wouldn't bathe with her, she decided to be understanding.
She had heard her friends say that a good girlfriend should be compliant, not jump to conclusions, and adapt to what her partner wanted.
So, when she saw him arrive with another woman… she forced herself not to cry.
> Why did he bring her?
Was she a friend? A relative?
But by the way he was groping her breasts… it didn't seem like it.
She felt a pressure in her chest.
Her breathing became agitated.
Her mind went blank.
Tears welled up in her eyes.
> Was I a bad girlfriend?
Is he going to replace me?
She bit her lips. Forced herself to smile.
"Bi… welcome, Noa. Is… is she a friend of yours?"
He just looked at her. Nodded. Or at least, tried to.
His eyes avoided hers.
He wanted to say something, but it seemed he couldn't.
Saki didn't understand.
> Why did he seem to be suffering?
She approached, trembling.
The girl next to him had a curious look.
Saki didn't understand why she was staring at her like that.
She just wanted to get close to Noa. Convince him not to leave her.
She took his hand. Looked into his eyes.
He seemed broken on the inside.
Then, biting her lips, she said:
"Saki… I… I'm a bad person. I have a fetish for raping virgins. I'm bad.
You shouldn't get close to someone like me.
I just wanted to use you.
It's better that you take care of yourself.
There are more sickos like me out there."
Saki couldn't process it.
Did he say he only used her?
Then why did he seem so pained to say it?
And that tenderness in his eyes? Wasn't it real?
> Is he replacing me because I'm not as beautiful?
Saki hugged him.
"You're not bad. You're not bad.
I… I'm the bad one.
If you want to do it with her, I won't complain.
If you want more girls, I… I'll get them for you.
But don't leave me."
Tears gushed out uncontrollably.
---
***
It was too much.
I didn't think it would hurt this much.
Seeing her tear-streaked eyes was a torture.
I felt like I was doing something terrible.
But why?
I just slept with her to fulfill the mission.
We weren't a couple.
Noa and Saki.
Just two strangers who shared a bed.
> When did everything get messed up?
I gritted my teeth. I told her the truth.
I don't know why. I just did it.
Maybe I was still dragging the stupid morality of my original world.
And that, in this world, was a mistake.
Saki hugged me, crying.
She begged me not to leave her.
> Shouldn't she be angry?
Shouldn't she hate me?
My stomach was twisting.
My head was throbbing.
> I have to push her away. Now.
I was harsher. Crueler.
"If you really think that way…
you're going to hold this girl while I fuck her."
I expected to see her hesitate. See disgust on her face.
But no.
Under her glasses, her tear-streaked eyes… seemed to shine with renewed strength.
"Yes. Yes, I will. I'll do whatever you ask.
Just… don't leave me."
She hugged me tighter.
My head was exploding.
My stomach hurt.
And everything started to lose meaning.
---
***
Mana didn't understand what was happening before her eyes.
The man who was supposed to blackmail her and abuse her… showed himself to be so fragile.
Any fear or resistance had already vanished.
Even with that large and robust appearance, he no longer intimidated her.
Even with the photos in his possession, he no longer seemed capable of forcing her to do anything.
> So what was the point?
Why did she feel this way?
Mana didn't understand.
She should have felt relieved that she wouldn't have to suffer.
But she didn't feel calm.
She looked at the other girl, who was crying her eyes out.
She started to think.
> Why was she acting like this?
Was she a bad woman who was meddling in a relationship?
> Was she the mistress? Wasn't he supposed to have brought her to rape her?
Nothing made sense.
And yet…
there was something else that disturbed her.
That feeling…
she liked it.
Mana tried to think.
> Why did she feel this way?
Was it the thrill of watching this drama?
Feeling safe seeing that her "abuser" wouldn't hurt her?
Or…
was it the feeling of stealing something?
Until now, shoplifting had been the only way to feel something.
To feel different.
To feel alive.
Deep down, she wanted to be "bad."
Maybe, deep down, she wanted to make her sister suffer.
Show her parents that she wasn't a shadow.
That she wasn't the failed copy of someone perfect.
Although destructive, her actions gave her some peace.
And pleasure.
She wouldn't deny it: she had also thought about what would happen if she got caught.
Although she only imagined that she would be arrested or her parents would be called.
When the guy on the phone blackmailed her with sex in exchange for silence, she panicked.
But she didn't resist.
Maybe… she wanted that.
Maybe, she was seeking that punishment for hating her sister.
When the big guy "saved" her, she felt… disappointed.
But he also wanted the same thing.
And, in a strange way, that made her feel good.
> Was her body that desirable?
She felt a bit flattered.
The way he groped her no longer seemed so repulsive.
And when she got to the house… she saw her.
Another woman.
Crying.
Crying because of her presence.
She believed she had stolen her place next to that man.
She…
a girl who wasn't taken seriously anywhere.
Neither at home.
Nor at school.
A girl from whom no one expected anything…
Now seemed capable of seducing a man.
Of provoking jealousy.
Of mattering.
She observed the crying girl.
And she felt…
good.