Aveer didn't look at me anymore.
He moved like I wasn't there, making tea, packing his notes, stepping out for coaching with that same blank calm that used to drive me crazy.
It hurt more than anger ever could.
I tried to act fine, to focus on college, to laugh with friends, but every time I saw a boy with the same messy hair or a voice that sounded like his, my stomach twisted.
Maybe distance was the cure.
Maybe forgetting was easier than feeling unwanted.
So I started leaving early, staying out longer, letting Arsh drag me into football games or canteen gossip.
For a while, it worked, until I missed a pass, slipped, and scraped my palm on the turf.
Nothing major, just a sting and a line of red.
"Bro, careful!" Arsh called, jogging up. "You bleeding?"
I brushed it off. "It's fine."
But the ache in my hand wasn't half as bad as the one in my chest.
Later, in the corridor, Arsh noticed I wasn't really there. "You look like your brain's buffering again," he said, nudging my shoulder.
I forced a laugh. "Actually, I wanted your advice about… someone."
"Oh?" He grinned. "This sounds fun already."
"Let's say," I began, "there's this guy - A. He's got a friend, B. They were really close once. But now B acts cold… ignores him. Sometimes B's sweet, sometimes distant. And, maybe, B's seeing someone else."
Arsh and Aman exchanged a look.
"Go on, A," Arsh said, dragging the letter like he knew exactly what I was doing.
I sighed. "So… what should A do? Keep quiet? Or just...."
"confess?" Aman cut in, smirking. "Let me guess, A's totally losing his mind."
I didn't reply.
Arsh crossed his arms. "Dude, you really think we're that dumb? This isn't about A and B. It's about you and…" he trailed off with a knowing grin.
I forced a scoff. "You wish."
They laughed, but Aman's tone softened. "Look, if this friend of yours can't stop thinking about someone, then hiding it won't help. Either say it or let it go. Because silence just eats you alive."
I looked down at my bruised hand, feeling the sting again.
Confess?
I couldn't even name what I felt, how was I supposed to confess it?
"Maybe," I said quietly, "A just needs time."
"Or courage," Arsh muttered.
They joked again, switching the topic, but I barely heard them.
Because somewhere in my chest, between the guilt and the ache, I knew exactly what A needed.
And I still couldn't do it.
Later In Evening*
The silence had started to feel too loud these days.
Even when Aarav was around, it felt like there was a wall between us, something invisible, heavy, and impossible to break.
Maybe this was how it was supposed to be, I told myself. No expectations, no heartbreak. Just distance.
Still, my chest felt heavier every time I tried to believe that lie.
I sat by the window with a cup of tea, pretending to read a book I wasn't really looking at. The sound of rain outside was the only thing that felt real.
Somewhere below, a bunch of boys were playing football in the muddy ground near the PG.
And in between them, of course, it had to be him.
Aarav.
He wasn't playing the way he usually did.
There was something raw, desperate in the way he moved, as if he was trying to outrun something inside him.
He looked angry. But the kind of angry that comes from hurt.
I didn't want to stare, but I couldn't look away either.
Then, suddenly, he slipped.
The cup slipped from my hand too, fell, shattered, spilled tea all over the floor. I didn't even think. I just ran.
He was sitting on the wet ground, clutching his hand, pretending like the pain didn't matter. Rain drenched his hair, his shirt, his face - but the stubbornness in his eyes stayed the same.
"Can't you play like a normal human being without hurting yourself?" I snapped, kneeling beside him before I could stop myself. "Let me see."
He tried to hide his hand. "It's nothing, really...."
"Yeah, clearly," I muttered, holding it anyway. The scratch wasn't deep but it stung just looking at it.
I sighed, shaking my head. "You're impossible."
I helped him up, almost dragging him through the rain. He didn't resist. Maybe he was too tired to.
Back in the room, I cleaned the wound carefully. The antiseptic burned against his skin; he flinched a little.
"You just recovered from fever and still decided to play in the rain," I said quietly. "Why are you like this, Aarav?"
He looked up at me, his eyes searching mine for something I didn't have an answer for.
"One time you care so much about me, and the next you pretend I don't even exist," he said. "You ignored me for two days straight just because of a stupid argument. Why are you like this, Aveer?"
His words hit harder than they should have. I turned away, putting the cotton aside.
"I don't have anything to say," I said finally. "You're good to go now."
He laughed bitterly. "You never have anything to say, do you? You just run away. You always do."
That stung. Maybe because it was true.
But I wasn't going to admit it, not when his voice sounded like that.
"Didn't you do the same back then?" I muttered. "Why expect me to behave differently now?"
The air between us went still, the only sound was rain hitting the glass.
I pressed a hand to my temple. "Don't argue with me anymore, Aarav. I've got a headache. Let me sleep."
"Fine," he said after a pause, his voice quieter. "You sleep. I'm going outside."
The door shut behind him, and the sound made my chest twist.
I sat there for a long moment, staring at the half-used bandage roll.
The rain outside had softened, but inside, it still felt like a storm.
I wanted to stop him.
But all I did was close my eyes and pretend that distance didn't hurt.
(Aarav's POV)
By the time I returned to the room, the rain had slowed to a drizzle, thin streaks of water trailing down the glass, whispering softly like a fading memory.
I pushed the door open quietly, expecting to see Aveer reading or pretending to sleep the way he did whenever I left after an argument, but the sight that met my eyes made my chest tighten in an instant.
He was lying on his side, face buried half in the pillow, breathing uneven, his fingers clutching the sheet as if holding on to something — or someone. His lips moved restlessly, voice trembling with words that shouldn't have belonged to a dream.
"Aarav... please don't go," he murmured, his tone breaking somewhere between a whisper and a plea. "I didn't do it... believe me... I didn't do it."
The sound hit me like a punch to the gut.
For a second, I just stood there frozen, unsure if I was supposed to hear that, unsure if I deserved to. The boy who always stood like a wall before anyone, who never showed weakness, was trembling like a child haunted by the past.
I hurried toward him, kneeling beside the bed. His face was pale, damp with sweat, his brows furrowed deep like he was trapped in a memory he couldn't escape.
"Aveer," I said softly, shaking his shoulder gently, "wake up. It's just a dream."
He didn't stir. His breath hitched again, a broken sound that made my own throat ache.
"I didn't do it," he whispered once more, voice cracking this time, and something inside me just shattered.
I didn't know that the incident, whatever happened that day, whatever truth was buried there, still followed him into his sleep. I didn't know it hurt this much
Without thinking, I pulled him close. My arms went around him instinctively, holding him the way I would've if it were four years ago, before everything went wrong.
His body was warm against mine, trembling slightly. I pressed my cheek against his damp hair and whispered, "I'm not going anywhere, Aveer. I'm here with you. You don't have to be afraid. Not anymore."
For a moment, I thought he heard me. His breath steadied, the trembling softened, and I kept holding him, maybe because I didn't want him to wake up, or maybe because I didn't want to let go either.
Then, suddenly, his body stiffened. His eyes flew open, confused at first, then sharp, then burning.
He pushed me away so fast I almost lost my balance. "Don't you touch me," he said, his voice cold and low, but his hands were still shaking.
I blinked, caught between guilt and confusion. "I was trying to help you. You were having a nightmare."
"I didn't ask for your help," he shot back. His tone was harsh, but his voice cracked halfway through the sentence, like it didn't believe its own anger. "You don't need to pretend you care, Aarav. You didn't care then, and you don't care now."
The words hung there in the room, heavy and suffocating, louder than the rain outside.
His words echoed in my ears long after he turned his back.
"You don't care now."
If only he knew how wrong that was, how every heartbeat inside me screamed his name even when my lips stayed shut.
Something inside me snapped, that fragile string I had been holding for days, maybe years, finally broke.
The silence in the room felt heavier than my chest could bear.
I took a step forward. My voice came out low at first, trembling, but it carried everything I had buried for too long.
"You think I don't care, Aveer?"
He didn't turn around, but I continued anyway, the words spilling faster than I could stop them.
"I can't do this anymore… this distance, this silence. It's killing me."
He tensed but still didn't speak. The rain outside started again, tapping softly against the window, the only sound brave enough to fill the space between us.
"I don't even know what's happening to me," I said, exhaling shakily. "You ignore me for two days straight, you walk past me like I don't exist, you talk to Shivi like she means something and...."
I paused, my throat tightening. "...and it burns, Aveer. It burns in a way I can't explain."
He turned slightly, his profile visible in the dim light. "Aarav, don't say anything you'll regret later," he murmured, his voice soft but strained, as if warning me or maybe himself.
But I couldn't stop. Not now.
"I won't regret it," I said firmly, stepping closer. "Even if it breaks everything, I won't."
I took a deep breath, my chest heavy but free for the first time.
"I don't know when it started, maybe the day you smiled after our first stupid fight, or maybe years ago when we shared the same blanket in your village under that stupid starry sky but every time I look at you, I feel something I can't hide anymore."
Aveer turned to face me now, eyes wide, but I didn't care how he looked at me. The truth was finally out of its cage.
"When you're near, I feel alive," I continued, voice trembling. "And when you pull away, it feels like something inside me is being ripped apart. I tried to ignore it, tried to tell myself it's just guilt or habit but it's not. It's more than that. It's… you."
My breath hitched, the next words almost choking me.
"I know I irritate you. I know I've hurt you before, maybe in ways I didn't even realize. But you… you're the only person who makes this chaos inside me feel like it's worth something. I can't keep pretending that it doesn't matter. Because it does. You do."
I ran a hand through my hair, tears burning at the corner of my eyes. "You want to know the truth, Aveer? The truth is, I love you. I don't know when it happened or how, but I do. I can't breathe properly when you're mad at me. I can't sleep when you're sad. I can't bear the thought of you walking out that door again."
The room fell into silence. The sound of rain faded somewhere into the background.
Aveer was just staring at me, still, unreadable.
My voice cracked. "If you love Shivi, then fine, go ahead. I won't stop you. But don't expect me to stand here and lie to myself anymore. I can't."
For a moment, I thought that was it, that I had said too much, that I'd ruined everything.
I turned to leave, my chest aching like it was being carved open.
But before I could take a step, I felt his hand around mine. Firm. Warm. Shaking.
I stopped Aarav by holding his hand .
"Where are you going again?"
The words left my mouth before I even realized I'd said them.
My voice sounded foreign, broken, fragile, trembling like it carried years of things I'd buried alive.
Aarav stopped. He turned slightly, his shoulders stiff, his breath uneven.
For a second, I thought he wouldn't look back at all. That he would leave, just like last time.
But he froze.
And in that small pause, the world around me fell quiet.
I took a step forward, my fingers tightening around his wrist , the same wrist I'd bandaged a few hours ago.
"You're not leaving me again, Aarav," I whispered, my throat closing up. "Not this time."
He turned to face me, his eyes red, glistening under the faint light that slipped through the curtains.
It hit me then, the same eyes I used to see years ago, when we were kids lying under the stars, making promises we were too young to understand.
"You think you're the only one feeling this?" I said, my voice cracking mid-sentence. "You're not. You're not the only one who's been suffocating in this mess of feelings, Aarav. I've been feeling the same maybe even worse but I just didn't know what to call it."
I tried to look away, but the truth had already escaped, and there was no taking it back.
"Every time I see you, I feel something I shouldn't," I continued, my words stumbling out like confessions. "Something I don't even understand. My heart.." I let out a dry laugh "...it forgets how to stay calm when you're around. It's like you've become a part of my pulse."
Aarav just stared, silent and breathless. I could see it in his eyes, the same confusion, the same pain, the same pull.
"I tried running away from it," I said quietly. "I tried to distract myself with Shivi, with anyone who wasn't you, but it never worked. Because when I laughed with her, it felt empty. When I talked to her, it felt wrong. Everything I've been doing these days… it's been a lie, Aarav. A lie I told myself because I was terrified of you. Of what I felt for you."
He opened his mouth to speak, but I stopped him with a glance.
"I don't love her," I said firmly. "I never did. I thought maybe if I tried, I could forget you. But the truth is - I can't. I couldn't then, I can't now, and I don't think I ever will."
The rain outside grew louder, like the world itself was listening to our confessions.
I stepped closer, until I could see the faint tremble in his lips, the guilt still hiding behind his eyes.
He whispered, barely audible, "But are you sure, Aveer? Are you sure you like me? I'm not good for you.
I just keep breaking things."
Aveer gave a small, trembling smile. "Then let me be the one thing you don't break."
"You think I don't know your flaws? You think I haven't seen your worst sides already? I have. And I still…" ... my voice faltered "I still can't make myself hate you."
The only thing i could do is - "I love you Aarav". I really do.
"Aveer… are you sure....."
Before Aarav could finish, Aveer's hand moved, firm, deliberate - curling around the back of his neck, their eyes locked . In one breath, the space between them disappeared .
Then Aveer pulled him closer to his lips....
To be continued...