Location: Floor 2 - Neo-Akihabara Marketplace
(A glowing, cyberpunk bazaar floating in the void)
"Welcome to Capitalism!" Monokuma announced from a giant billboard. "Here, your muscles don't matter! Your spirit pressure is worthless! The only power level is your NET WORTH!"
[GAME RULES]
Starting Funds: 10,000 Yen per team.
Goal: Acquire 1 Billion Yen in 24 hours.
Penalty: Teams under the threshold will be "Liquidated" (Sold to the Shadow Realm).
Constraint: Violence is prohibited. (Attacking customers = Instant Debt).
"No fighting?" Vegeta clenched his fists. "This is preposterous. I will simply take the money from the weak!"
ZAP.
A collar around Vegeta's neck shocked him.
"GAH!" Vegeta fell to one knee.
"Violence penalty!" Monokuma laughed. "Minus 5,000 Yen! You're in debt already, Monkey Prince!"
"Vegeta, stop!" Goku panicked, checking their wallet. "We can't buy food if you zap our money away!"
Team Strategy Meeting
In a dark alleyway behind a vending machine store, Team Trash gathered.
Kazuma Satou stood on a crate. He wore a suit (stolen). He wore sunglasses (stolen). He looked like the wolf of Wall Street if the wolf was a raccoon.
"Listen up," Kazuma briefed his team. "We can't win by working honest jobs. That takes too long. We need to Scam, Scalp, and Speculate."
"I like it," Reigen Arataka adjusted his tie. "I'm a master of spiritual sales. What's the product?"
"The product," Kazuma pointed to the crowded plaza where heroes were wandering aimlessly. "Is them. Fan obsession."
He held up a photo.
It was a grainy, zoomed-in picture of Gojo Satoru sleeping with his mouth open.
[RARE ITEM: THE SLEEPING HONORED ONE - MINT CONDITION JPEG]
"We create artificial scarcity," Kazuma explained. "We sell exclusive 'Hero Moments'. We convince the civilian NPCs and rich characters like Bulma and Yumeko Jabami to bid on them."
"Isn't that unethical?" Tanjiro (who had wandered into the meeting thinking it was a soup kitchen) asked worriedly.
"It's business, kid!" Buggy the Clown slapped Tanjiro's back. "Now hold this sign!"
Operation: Stonks
Sector A: The Merchandise Stall
Usopp and Reigen set up shop.
Sign: "THE MYSTICAL GARAGE SALE OF LEGENDS"
"Step right up!" Usopp yelled through a megaphone. "Behold! The legendary 'Sweat Towel of All Might'!"
(It was a dirty rag Kazuma found in a gym).
Deku walked by. He froze.
"A... All Might's... perspiration cloth?" Deku whispered, vibrating. "It radiates hope... and humidity."
"That's right, kid!" Reigen leaned in. "It retains 0.01% of One For All's essence. Only 500,000 Yen."
"I'll take it!" Deku emptied his wallet. "It's an investment for future generations!"
[PROFIT: +500,000 YEN]
Next item.
"The 'Sword Handle Polish of Roronoa Zoro'!"
(It was a can of Windex).
Sold to Tashigi.
[PROFIT: +50,000 YEN]
Sector B: The Cryptocurrency Hustle
Senku Ishigami and Kraft Lawrence were monitoring a bank of computer screens.
"I've created a blockchain currency," Senku announced, sipping a cola. "It's backed by nothing but hype and Kraft's manipulative eloquence."
Coin Name: $WAIFU COIN.
Lawrence stood on a podium in front of a crowd of desperate otakus and Lonely Sims.
"Gentlemen," Lawrence spoke with gravitas. "Why invest in gold, which is heavy? Invest in Waifu Coin. The value is pegged to the fluctuating blush-intensity of anime heroines."
He pointed to a screen showing live feed of Hinata Hyuga getting embarrassed near Naruto.
"Look at that spike! The awkwardness is rising! Buy! Buy! Buy!"
The crowd went wild.
"Shut up and take my money!" Sanji threw bags of cash. "I invest everything in the Nami-Swaaaan Index!"
The graph went vertical.
[TEAM TRASH BALANCE: 50 MILLION YEN]
The Opposition: Team Nami
Across the plaza, the heavyweights of economy were making their move.
Nami (One Piece).
Faye Valentine (Cowboy Bebop).
Fujiko Mine (Lupin III).
Team: Femme Fatale Finance.
"Cute tricks," Nami scoffed, looking at Kazuma's stall. "Selling trash to idiots. But real money comes from fees."
Nami waved her Clima-Tact.
She changed the local weather in the plaza to "Heatwave Hell".
Temperature: 110°F (43°C).
Then, she opened a stall.
"COLD AIR: 10,000 YEN PER MINUTE."
The heroes, wearing heavy armor and costumes, began to melt.
"So hot..." Guts groaned in his Berserker armor.
"Can't breathe..." Darth Vader (wait, why is he here? Go back to Star Wars! Okay, ignore him).
Lines formed at Nami's booth.
"Money is terrifying," Chopper wept, fanning Luffy. "She's charging for shade!"
[TEAM NAMI BALANCE: 200 MILLION YEN]
The Wildcard: Team Idiot
Goku, Luffy, and Saitama.
Current Funds: 500 Yen (Found under a vending machine).
"We need a Billion," Goku scratched his head. "That's a lot of zeros."
"I can stretch," Luffy offered. "Should I perform?"
"Perform?" Saitama looked at a street performer juggling balls. "Maybe."
Saitama walked into the center of the street.
He put down a cup.
"I will show you a trick," Saitama announced.
A crowd gathered. "Is it One Punch Man? What will he do?"
Saitama picked up a rock.
He squeezed it.
The rock turned into a diamond.
(Because of carbon compression pressure).
The crowd gasped. "ALCHEMY?!"
"No," Saitama said. "Just grip strength."
He tossed the diamond into the cup.
"Does that count?"
Jewelry Bonney ran up. "That's a 10 Carat diamond! I'll give you 100 Million for it!"
Saitama's eyes widened. "Really?"
Luffy cheered. "We're rich! Let's buy meat!"
"Wait!" A voice interjected.
Seto Kaiba (Yu-Gi-Oh) stepped out of a limousine shaped like a dragon.
"Pathetic. A flawed diamond. The cut is crude."
Kaiba threw a briefcase of money at Saitama's face.
"Here's 500 Million. Stop devaluing the gem market with your brute force geology. You're crashing my stocks."
[TEAM IDIOT BALANCE: 500 MILLION YEN]
The Climax: The Auction of the Century
Two hours left.
Most teams were close, but not at 1 Billion.
Then, Monokuma announced the final event.
[THE SPECIAL AUCTION]
Item: [The Location of the Final Boss Room]
"A map?" Kirito narrowed his eyes. "If we win that, we can skip the floors and fight the Game Master."
The bidding started.
"100 Million!" shouted Nami.
"200 Million!" shouted Kaiba.
"300 Million!" shouted Ciel Phantomhive.
Kazuma looked at his team.
They had 800 Million from selling "Waifu Coin" right before the bubble burst (leaving Sanji broke).
"800 Million!" Kazuma raised his paddle.
"1 Billion!" A new bidder entered.
Yumeko Jabami (Kakegurui).
Her eyes glowed red. She was trembling with excitement.
"I'm gambling it all! The map might be fake! Or it might be death! Who cares?!"
"One Billion going once..." Monokuma raised the hammer.
"Wait!"
Light Yagami stood up.
"I bid... the concept of Justice."
"Justice has no market value," Monokuma dismissed. "Next."
"Then I bid this!"
Asta ran up to the stage.
He slammed a dirty, rusty lump on the table.
"It's a cool rock I found!"
Silence.
Monokuma scanned the rock.
[ITEM ANALYSIS]
[OBJECT: PHILOSOPHER'S STONE FRAGMENT]
(Found by dumb luck in Floor 1 rubble)
[VALUE: INFINITE]
"SOLD!" Monokuma slammed the gavel.
"What?!" Kazuma screamed. "He found a Plot MacGuffin rock?! That's cheating! That's Protagonist Luck!"
"YAY!" Asta cheered. "WE WON! BLACK BULLS ARE THE RICHEST!"
[GAME CLEAR]
[TEAM ASTA - PASS]
[ALL OTHER TEAMS: FAILED TO ACQUIRE ITEM.]
"Liquidate them!" Monokuma cackled.
"Run!" Kazuma yelled.
A trapdoor opened beneath the marketplace.
The floor tilted.
Everyone—billionaires and paupers alike—slid down a giant chute into darkness.
"MY MONEEEEEY!" Nami cried, clutching empty bags as gravity took her.
Saitama fell silently, looking at his receipt.
"I never got to spend it," he sighed. "What a waste."
End of Floor 2.
Current Floor: THE SEWERS.
The team landed in sludge.
Smelled bad. Really bad.
"Where are we?" Tanjiro asked, nose twitching. "It smells like... Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?"
From the shadows, red eyes glowed.
Not turtles.
Skaven. Rat-men from Warhammer.
Wearing Naruto headbands.
"Yes-yes! Man-things for eat-feast!" The Rats chattered.
"Giant Rats," Goblin Slayer (who was sitting in the corner quietly) stood up. He drew his sword.
"Not Goblins. But close enough."