Noxan was drained in toughts and regrets.Noxan didn't know how to react and act after his mistake.
He didn't wanna sound in love or obsessed or sound to carrying but also wanted to apologize to Sylas.
Noxan didn't wanna apologize to Sylan because of the pressure put by others on him,no it was the pressure he put himself on him.
He felt like turning from a storm to a hurricane even though he wanted to become the wind,to rise and shine with the leaves.
A hope in the darkness that may come in Sylas life.He wanted to be a silent wave in the night, touching the stars in him that seemed lost.
He was hurt himself again because of the pain he caused.
Noxan always cutet himself since 6 grade,he wanted to punish his dumb behaviors that made his school and social life harder,he also wanted a prove for his pain,even though he never believed he was punished enough by others.Noxan had another big reason,a reason not visible for others,he wanted to feel again.Noxan was numb,not actually but mentally,he didn't feel any emotions except pain and his craving love,he didn't feel like a soul without the feelings of a human being.
Noxan couldn't hold back and asked the teacher if he could go to the toilet.
The teacher said yes without knowing which mistake he just made.
Noxan already cried walking to the toilet,he also started to open the back of his phone case in the same time.
Noxan arrived at the toilet and locked the door before anyone could notice.
Noxan breath heavely ,so heavy that he nearly passed out.Noxan felt how his lungs were overstimulated.
He slowly took the ~~~ and slided to his tights.Noxan cut his tights in a gentle but painful way so that he can "learn" from it.
The blood dripping down his legs in a deep red color.
Noxan TOUGHT he needed so much pain,for his mistake.
After Noxan cleaned everything up and took out a bandage,he blaced the bandage so that it wouldn't get infected but still hurt when clothes touched it.
He stood up ,and went to wash his hands with his tears already drying.
After Noxan had arrived in the classroom he sat back down and didn't think much about it anymore, only the pain didn't leave him alone,wich he wanted.
His seat Partner suddenly ask
"Why do you kinda smell like blood?"
Noxan answered
"Oh nothing I accidentally bite the inside of my lip"
Noxan secretly ripped of a small amount of skin inside lf his mouth,and showed it to him.