Chapter 12 — The Day of Almost
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Save woke before the alarm.
He didn't know what time it was, exactly — only that the room was still dim, the curtains drawn tight but glowing faintly at the edges with early light.
His eyes opened slowly, as if even they were hesitant to begin the day.
His body ached in that low, tired way you get after staying up too long with feelings you didn't know what to do with.
But mostly, he felt heavy.
Not because of the trip.
Not because of the long walks or the bunk beds or the shared bathroom.
Because of the silence.
The same silence that had been building between him and Auau since Day 1. And now, it lived here — in this room, between these two beds, thick and unmoving like fog.
He didn't even turn his head to check.
He didn't have to.
He felt Auau across the room.
Awake. Moving. Quiet as ever.
There was the gentle zip of a pouch. The soft shhhk of fabric sliding over skin. The dull thud of something — probably a comb — falling onto the desk.
And then a sigh. Barely there, but enough.
Save rolled to his side, slowly, cautiously — as if the sheets would betray him — and looked.
There he was.
Auau stood near the window, back turned, slipping on his hoodie. His dark hair fell in lazy waves over his forehead, still messy from sleep. His bare arms caught a sliver of light from between the curtains, painting him in gold.
Something tightened in Save's chest.
He wanted to say something.
Something small.
Just enough to make the silence shift.
"Hey."
"Morning."
"Did you sleep okay?"
His lips parted. Breath caught.
But nothing came out.
Save just watched — eyes locked on the quiet rhythm of Auau's movements. Every stretch of fabric. Every shift of weight. Like memorizing a ritual he didn't know he was losing.
And then — Auau turned slightly.
Just enough to catch Save's reflection in the mirror.
Their eyes met.
Just for a second.
But Save felt it — that pause. That question.
As if Auau was waiting. For a word. For a reason. For something.
And God, he almost gave it to him.
He almost said it.
But in that very second—
BANG!
The door flew open so hard the walls practically shook.
"BREAKFAST!" Por's voice exploded into the room, louder than necessary — as always. "Get up, get dressed, or get eaten! I'm starving and I swear I will start nibbling on toes!"
Save blinked hard, the spell shattered. His heart jumped. He sat up too fast, bumping his elbow on the edge of the nightstand.
Auau was already moving — reaching for his bag, turning his face away.
"Hey, bro— wait, where's the fire?" Por grinned, stepping all the way in now, socked feet squeaking slightly on the wooden floor. "You guys look like you saw a ghost. Or worse… an unsent text message."
Auau didn't answer. He didn't look at either of them.
Just slung his bag over his shoulder and walked right past Por.
Right past Save.
Without a word.
The door clicked shut behind him.
Por blinked. "...Rude." He turned back to Save. "You okay?"
Save ran a hand through his hair, still staring at the door. "Yeah."
"Liar." Por plopped down dramatically on Auau's empty bed. "You've got that face again."
"What face?"
"The 'my emotions are choking me but I'm pretending I'm fine with bad jokes and quiet suffering' face."
Save gave him a weak smirk. "You've got me confused with yourself."
Por grinned, but his eyes lingered for a second too long. He didn't push further, though. Just flopped back and said, "Hurry up. The others are already downstairs. And I want dibs on the last blueberry pancake."
Save stayed still for a moment more.
The silence returned, but it wasn't the same.
It was lonelier now.
He stared at the empty spot where Auau had stood.
At the slight indentation on the bed, already fading.
At the words he still hadn't said.
"Good morning."
Too late now.
He pulled the blanket off, stood up, and grabbed his hoodie.
---
The morning sun stretched across the quiet campgrounds, brushing warm light over the roofs and the dew-covered grass. Birds chirped half-heartedly — even they seemed to be in a lazy mood today.
At breakfast, the announcement came:
Teacher Plaa, the bubbly one with flower pins in her ponytail, clapped her hands. "You'll be split into groups for each activity. Go find your name on the list!"
Behind her, Teacher Chai — tall, stiff, and forever frowning — added in a deeper voice:
> "And no running off. You're not here on vacation. Points will be deducted."
Most of the students ignored that last part.
---
Tables were set up under the shade of trees, paint buckets arranged neatly (but dangerously temptingly) by the teachers.
Save read the group list.
> Group B: Save, Patji, Kanom, Mind, Tan.
He exhaled.
Auau was in Group A, far on the other side. Already laughing at something Por had said.
A familiar ache lodged in Save's chest, but he shoved it down.
---
Patji bounced over, sunglasses on, even though it wasn't that bright.
> "Alright, Team B, what's our team name?" he asked dramatically.
Kanom: "How about 'The Phoenixes'?"
Mind: "Too serious."
Boon: "Something dumb. Something powerful."
Patji gasped. "I got it. Team Eternal Nap!"
Everyone stared.
> "Our slogan?" Patji grinned. "Dream more, do less."
Surprisingly… everyone nodded.
---
Paint flew. Literally. Toon and Boon got into a splash war. Mintra was trying to paint a dragon but gave up halfway and turned it into a sad cat. Tan, the quietest in the group, was mixing colors into a beautiful gradient… and then accidentally knocked over the water cup.
> "TAN!!"
Chaos.
---
Save was sitting at the edge of the group, brush in hand, but his canvas remained blank.
He kept glancing toward Group A.
Auau had paint on his nose. Por was trying to wipe it, laughing too loudly. That laugh that used to be theirs — just theirs — not public like this.
Patji wandered over to Save, still holding a ridiculous sponge brush shaped like a banana.
He nudged Save's side.
> "You haven't painted a single thing. Are you channeling your inner ghost? Or are you writing emo poetry in your head again?"
Save gave a weak smile.
Patji watched him.
He didn't say anything more. Instead, he dipped the banana brush into bright yellow paint and gently pressed a sun-shaped smear onto the corner of Save's canvas.
> "There. Now you've contributed."
Save blinked.
Patji didn't look at him — just went back to painting with the others. But he stayed closer now, just in case.
---
Teacher Plaa walked by and gasped at one banner:
> "Is that a dog with abs?!"
Toon: "It's a muscled wolf."
Plaa: "Why is he holding a pineapple?"
Toon: "Symbolism."
Teacher Chai walked past, unimpressed.
> "This is why I don't teach art."
---
Laughter filled the field. Paint splattered. Colors everywhere — on the canvases, on arms, on faces.
But even in the noise, Save's silence hummed softly.
Patji didn't ask what was wrong.
But he stayed.
And that meant something.
---
The sun had softened by the time the group spread out under the tamarind trees, baskets of food laid out on woven mats. The air was warm and still, buzzing faintly with cicadas and laughter.
Plates passed from hand to hand — steaming rice, grilled pork, sticky mango desserts wrapped in banana leaves.
Save sat near the edge of the group, cross-legged, eyes on his food, but barely eating. He pushed his spoon around his plate like it was a paintbrush. It all looked colorful, smelled rich — but none of it reached him.
Across the clearing, Auau was seated with Por and a few others. His voice carried over — light, cheerful. His laugh… familiar. Too familiar.
> That used to be mine, Save thought.
That laugh. That comfort.
---
Por spotted him. Grinned.
"Why so quiet today, lovebirds?" he called across the group.
Some students giggled.
Save blinked, startled. "W-What?"
Por smirked. "You and Auau. Both acting all moody. What, you two fight over who gets the last sticky rice?"
A few students chuckled again.
Auau looked up at that moment — and his eyes met Save's.
Just for a second.
Save forced a smile, something crooked and fragile.
Auau didn't laugh. He didn't join in on the teasing.
Instead, his face softened. Like something in him finally clicked.
---
Flashback inside Auau's mind
> He'd noticed the coldness before.
Save pulling away. Avoiding him. Not laughing at his jokes.
He thought — maybe Save was mad. Maybe annoyed.
So he backed off. Let him breathe.
Told himself: "If he wants space, I'll give it."
But now… Save looked more hurt than angry.
He was alone. Again.
---
A moment passed.
Auau stood up casually, walked over to the drink table — which just happened to be behind Save. He poured a cup of iced juice, then walked past Save… paused… and placed the cup down beside him, without saying a word.
Save blinked. Looked up.
Auau met his eyes again.
A small smile.
Not teasing. Not loud.
Just… warm. Familiar.
> "Drink. You'll dehydrate," Auau said quietly.
Save opened his mouth, like he might say something — this is the moment, maybe he'll say it—
But he couldn't.
"Thanks," he muttered instead.
Auau nodded once, still looking at him like he was trying to read the silence. Then he walked back to the others.
Por tried to say something else, but Auau didn't respond this time. He just sat quietly.
Save watched his back for a while, heart tight — but somehow lighter.
---
Patji appeared beside him, sitting down without warning.
"Juice delivery, huh?" he said, nodding toward the cup.
Save didn't answer, just sipped from it slowly.
Patji didn't tease. Didn't smile.
---
From across the group, Auau looked over one more time.
Noticing Save's hands finally relaxed around the cup. His eyes not fixed on the ground anymore.
Auau didn't know what it meant — not yet.
But it was something.
And for now… that was enough.
---
The door clicked shut behind them.
The room was dim, lit only by the yellow glow of a bedside lamp. Outside the window, crickets chirped in waves. Inside — silence.
Save stood frozen for a moment, backpack still slung over one shoulder.
He glanced at Auau — already in bed, back turned, hoodie pulled up to his ears, headphones on. Eyes closed.
Save dropped his bag gently, sat on the edge of his bed.
> I had all day, he thought.
All day to just say one word.
Just "sorry." Just "Hey." Anything.
He rubbed his face with both hands, trying to breathe out the heaviness sitting in his chest.
He looked over again.
Auau didn't move. Didn't glance at him.
> Is he asleep?
Or is he pretending — like I've been doing for days?
Save's heart pounded.
He shifted, sat forward on the bed.
"Auau…" he said softly.
No answer.
"Hey, I—"
He stopped.
The words wouldn't come.
> You waited too long, a voice whispered inside.
He's tired. He's done. You missed it.
Again.
Save sat back slowly, his hands falling into his lap.
The silence felt louder than ever.
He lay down.
Stared at the ceiling.
The hum of the fan was steady. Comforting. But it didn't reach him.
---
Save's Pov.
> "He doesn't even know… does he?"
"What he means to me. Why I keep looking away. Why I pretend I don't care when I do."
"I've been so cold. So quiet. So careful not to break."
"But maybe I've already broken something."
"Maybe I should've said it today."
"Maybe I still should."
"Not everything. Just... sorry."
He turned his head, just slightly, toward Auau's bed.
Still no movement.
> "Maybe tomorrow," Save whispered to no one.
And he closed his eyes — the ache still sitting there. But the smallest, tiniest seed of hope waiting inside the silence.
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— End of Chapter 12 —