The scene that appeared in front of him when he arrived was unbelievable. Ben was asleep with his head in Sandy's lap while Rose was completely wasted on top of the table. Sandy was drinking a large pouch of dark beer, lost in her thoughts, as if nothing was wrong with that picture.
"What did you make them do?" he asked, touching Rose's face and gently moving her head to the side. A huge red circle marked her cheek, as if she had hit it against the hard wood. His eyes threw daggers at her. Scary as hell, she thought, and before he could speak on his anger, she explained:
"I didn't do anything. Ben suggested coming here because of the soundproof panels and the good alcohol. I just invited her because she wasn't looking very well and she ended up having an emotional breakdown." Locious seemed genuinely confused, as if he couldn't fathom why Rose would need alcohol to drown her sorrows. How slow can this guy be? she thought in disbelief but didn't say a word. Rose and Locious spent a whole year together and became really good friends, something that had never happened with a trainee before. He actually let her be a part of his life, even if it didn't look like it. And despite all that, they were both clueless about their feelings for each other.
Sandy sighed and leaned back in her chair. She gave him an intense look that clearly showed she had no intention of offering more information, and a flame lit inside of him.
"Don't look at me as if I asked something stupid. You should know better than exposing yourself and the Society to this kind of situation. Your work in the shadows is the only thing protecting this peace. You need to be more careful, for you and the others," Locious scolded her. She knew he was just worried about her safety, but what was she going to do? Stay hidden forever? Isolated from the world? She had already made the biggest sacrifice for the Society, and the only thing she had left was these really mundane moments to enjoy, and she wasn't going to feel ashamed for trying to feel normal, at least for a night.
"Honestly, Sandy, even if she needed a night out, even if you can't fully grasp what she is feeling, look at them now. I know you are strong, but... what about them?" he concluded. The anger started to build up inside of her. Fancy you saying that. You are either completely stupid for not seeing she is like that because of you or you are purposely pretending not to know, which makes you a real jerk, she wanted to say, but she bit her tongue, calming herself down.
He was the only one she would ever allow to speak to her that way, and that was because he had never judged her or expected anything from her; he just accepted what she was capable of giving. But her patience had a limit, and she was really close to breaking it.
"Believe it or not, I can take care of myself and... argh, whatever. Take her home and I'll drop Ben. Have a good trip." Sandy got up, taking a very heavy and almost dead Ben outside with her. It's your turn to deal with the drunkard, annoying prick. I'm out.
"How much did you drink to end up like this? We have drunk a lot before and I've never seen you so passed out," Locious said angrily while carrying Rose in his arms. "You two were lucky I was at home when the phone rang and grabbed the keys of my car and not my motorbike." He knew he wasn't going to get an answer, but he needed to vent all his frustration. He was getting ready to go to Heaven's library to speak with Theleon about the symbol and the ritual when Sandy called asking for Rose's address.
When he decided to go to the bar, he hadn't expected to find two completely wasted people and one feigning indifference. Seeing Rose like that, and knowing she had an emotional breakdown probably due to the Angel Aura and the priest's death, hit him like a rock in the face and triggered his guilt once again.
"I told you she could rot you," he said, but he knew it wasn't Sandy's fault either. She wasn't a bad person; she just couldn't understand the influence she had on other people. He couldn't even really be angry with them; it was the whole situation that made him lose his calm.
The lustful eyes that followed him when he entered the bar were barely tolerable thanks to the darkness, but in reality, he couldn't deal with the disgusting ravening hunger provoked by the Angel Aura in the humans he encountered. Honestly, it wasn't that he blamed them—it wasn't even their fault—but the effect itself made him feel sick. Worse than the desire in their eyes were the loving looks, the fake assumption that it was love, that he was their one and only. It wasn't his fault that they thought they fell in love at first sight, but he always ended up feeling dirty.
Rose's reaction to it, however, stirred a succession of feelings that made his heart ache ten times more. He felt angry and helpless. He couldn't protect her from it, nor could he reassure her or stay near her, lest his Aura intensify her pain. He wanted to remind her that despite everything, they were friends and no matter what she felt now, he would stay by her side. But the words seemed stuck in his throat.
He sighed and tied the car belt for Rose in the passenger seat before sitting in the driver's seat and turning on the engine. The silence inside the car wasn't helping him with his thoughts; as his internal voice intensified, his pain subsided, and fury emerged. Why did Sandy take Rose to get drunk, knowing full well what the risks were? Is she stupid, or is she just being defiant? Had I been too lenient with her, or did she know more than she was letting me know?
"And her answer was... whatever! WHATEVER! Not even a hint of remorse!" he burst out loud and hit the wheel. The shaking of the car from his blow woke Rose up. She suddenly sat straight and looked around in confusion. Her eyes landed on his profile and stared at him with squinted eyes, as if trying to identify the person in front of her. A shy smile appeared on her face when she recognized Locious as the driver, but soon her eyebrows joined together in a frown.
"Wait! I am drinking with Sandy and Ben! Why would you be here?" she asked, but before he could answer, she clapped her hands together and shouted, "I know! This is just a dream!"
"Hold on... I'm right..." he was saying when he was interrupted by a chaotic line of random questions from Rose.
"Why can't I go to your house? Why can't I be part of your harem? Am I not pretty enough?" she asked, and Locious looked at her as if she had lost her mind. Harem? Did I hear that correctly? What had they been talking about, those three, to make her think that? And what was that pitiful tone she used? What is going on?
"Harem? What are you talking about? I don't..." but before he could continue with his explanation, she interrupted him again. But now the broken voice had disappeared, and the venom in her words seemed to sting his otherwise impermeable skin.
"So what! What! Did I ever do anything to make you believe I am untrustworthy? I'm human, I know. I am not like all the almighty perfect Angels. I'm a freaking human who makes mistakes, but I do not betray my friends! So why don't you trust me!? Huh? Or maybe it's because I'm a dischargeable object? Just like the priest? He did something good and what? In the end, his soul is lost, and no one gives a fuck about him... Are you going to do the same thing to me?" Her voice grew louder with every accusation, but it ended abruptly, the last question a whisper that was unhearable for anyone without ears as sensitive as his.
"What? I mean, what are you talking about? Trust? Dischargeable object? How can you think I'm treating you like that?" How could she think that low of him? He was sure he had never made her feel she was someone he wanted to use and throw away. Man, that really hurts; I would have preferred she was jealous.
This was the weirdest reaction to the Angel Aura he had ever seen. Love, lust, desire, jealousy—that was the common thing, but this level of anger, and not because of a love interest but because of trust? He knew she was drunk and shouldn't take those things to heart, but he was furious. Furious at her for thinking that way, furious at Sandy for being a ticking bomb and still doing stupid things, and furious at the three of them for whatever talk they had while drunk.
"And you know what? As for the priest's soul—it wasn't a decision I made and I had no say in it. So don't blame me for something I have no control over." He wasn't drunk; he had never been drunk, so he shouldn't be taking part in a discussion with someone who wasn't in her right mind, but he couldn't hold his tongue. He couldn't believe she would call herself an object, an object that was soon to be discarded and he wasn't going to accept all the accusations that left her mouth during the car ride. Luckily, before things escalated further, they finally arrived at her place.
He stopped the engine and got out of the car. Outside he looked at the sky while taking a deep breath. Seemingly calmer, he opened the passenger door and grabbed her in his arms. She instantly hugged him, bathing in his warmth, and smiled.
"I like you. I really do," she mumbled against his shoulder, and he froze on the spot. His hands tightened around her body, and he didn't speak for a while. Then he started walking again, and in a cold voice, his fury again present in every word, he said:
"It's an illusion, Rose. The alcohol is just making it feel more intense but it's not real, and it will pass in a few days. Everything will go back to normal then." She twisted in his arms, fighting to pull away, so he released her onto her feet in front of the door. She locked eyes with him, her brown eyes clear and reflecting the moonlight, as if suddenly sobered up.
"It's not... Listen, today Sandy..." She was about to explain what she had done, but before she could, he thrust his face, full of rage, close to hers and spoke between his gritted teeth:
"No, you listen to me. I won't lose my whole future for a delusion of love that today is and tomorrow is not. Forget it!"
Her heart broke, and she pursued her lips as an attempt to stop her tears from falling, but it was impossible.
"You are a piece of shit!" she shouted. Her words, like a bomb, dissipated the wrath inside of him. He realized he had been too harsh on her and tried to apologize, but she didn't give him a chance. She quickly got inside and closed the door with a loud bang.
He stayed hooked in his place, looking at the wooden door. He never cursed, but at that moment, the word that left his lips before turning around to leave, was a strong: "Damn it!"