Ayumi's POV.
I was anxious constantly, and my chest would hurt at times. I'd leave frequently to look for him, even ditching school at times. Mom...didn't know that yet.
He hasn't come home yet... Mom is starting to get worried too...
She'd look for any excuse to see where he's at, she found out he isn't attending school, and I saw her face...
She was in pain; her guilt was as bad as mine. Her face was warped to look in disbelief when she received a call from his homeroom teacher asking if he was alright.
...
Fukashima came by today as well, his old childhood friend. She was asking for him again, yet I didn't have the heart to tell her we kicked out my brother.
She used to come over all the time when we were kids...she's a neighboring family friend, but it had been a while since we'd spoken.
...
It's like he disappeared, completely erased himself. No one knows anything...and he isn't answering his phone...
No one cared either, I don't think at least. Fukashima told me that he was being bullied for a while, then she broke down in front of me crying....
She said how "It's all my fault...if...if I was there for him...more..."
But she's not the one who kicked him out of his own home. He...was missing at this point.
No school. No messages. No posts, and no communication. No one had heard from him.
He was just...gone.
...
I thought if anyone would know, it'd be Fukashima...so I tried to probe and ask if she had seen him lately outside of school.
Yet, she seemed confused, asking that she thought he'd been at home this entire time.
I couldn't hide it from her anymore...I had to tell her.
"Fukashima...I'm sorry, I lied to you."
"Huh...? What do you mean...?" She replied.
"...Haruki...was kicked out of our home a few weeks ago..."
"but we all thought he'd be with his friends or something!! and-""
...
"Huh...?" She said back.
Then...
She started looking at me...furiously.
"Y-you kicked him out...?"
'You're telling me you kicked him out!?" She asked again, with anger in her voice.
"Staying with friends...? Are you kidding me...? He has none! I was his only friend until...."
...
Then she looked worried for a second.
"wait....when did you kick him out...?"
I looked at her, my face showed heavy emotions right now, I probably looked gross...
...
"Um...last Friday, he's been missing for six days now..."
...
At that moment, all color left her face, and she seemed to be weak. She looked terrified, like a deer in headlights almost.
"Oh...oh my god..." She whispered to herself, covering her mouth.
"You're not joking...are you...?" She asked me.
...
I had to stop, and look down because the guilt was unbearable.
We were his family, and we forced him away. Even if his sin was...unforgiveable.
"That was the day...that he was...exposed to the class...everyone...knew he was..." She said, before saying something I didn't expect.
She started looking around frantically, like she was in dire need to find something.
"Wh...where did he go last...?" She asked, and I told her I didn't know.
We didn't even look out the window when he was leaving...after saying he hated us.
...
"He....he looked like he wanted to hurt himself Ayumi!! He seemed like...he wanted to disappear for good!! We...we need to find him!" She yelled, before telling me to go tell my mom to call the school.
She took off running down the road out towards the main city of Saitama, maybe to see if he's been hanging out nearby at some populated areas, or at a manga cafe.
I was confused for a second...what did she mean by that?
What do you mean drastic...? Fukashima...?
You don't think he'd actually...
No...
....no he wouldn't.
...but if he did, it would be.
...
My fault.
...
I hurried back inside, just in case, since I needed to confirm something.
I immediately told mom that she needed to call.
"What do you mean...he hasn't been seen since friday...?" She asked. "How do you know that?"
"F-Fukashima just came by and told me!! He hasn't been staying with anyone...mom...he's homeless...you made him homeless..." I replied to her, tears in my voice.
I was...starting to get frantic, the feeling in my chest was about to burst. This was pure anxiety, and guilt I think.
It's becoming too much at this point, Fukashima just ran off to look for him, and she seemingly knows him better than we do...
Would he really...have...done something to harm himself...?
"What do you mean...? H-He hasn't been seen by anyone...?" Mom said back, her voice was shaky and wavering.
"You need to call the school! See if anyone has seen him there or outside of school! Maybe someone has contacted him or something!"
...
So after a moment, Mom finally got the guts to call. I think she didn't want to affirm what I was saying, maybe she was in disbelief or something...
...
"Um, hello...hi, this is the Shimatsu household..."
She began asking if any of his classmates had seen him, to tell the homeroom teacher to brief the class maybe.
What good would that do? He's being severely bullied! Why would they care about him going missing?
...
When she confirmed that no one had seen him, not a single soul at school, I saw her face become lifeless.
Her pupils were black, and her face was washed with a pain I've never seen before, not from anyone, let alone my own mother.
She looked lost and panicked, even the school didn't know where he was. She wouldn't listen to me when I'd told her he was missing...
There was only silence, and worry as I began to pace around thinking, I started to spam call his phone but every time I called it went straight to voicemail.
His phone was shut off. Mom tried the same thing with no luck.
I think she's about to snap, and so am I. She finally realized it, he was gone.
What she had done, the sin she had committed alongside my own brother. She had realized it.
"Oh my god..." She said, covering her mouth with her hand. Her face was red, and her eyes became watery.
Her knees grew weak, and she nearly fell over onto the kitchen floor but caught herself last second. I had to help her to the couch to sit down.
For a moment, it was just shock. Then, she started to cry. Her palms were planted firmly inot her eyes, and she started to wail like a child.
It was an animalistic cry; one I've never heard on such a frail woman before.
Like tears have been running down her throat until they couldn't anymore.
...
The sounds she made...I don't think I'll ever forget them.
...
My father hadn't been home properly in days, like he's trying to paint this all over. Yet, it's making me hate him even more. he always mistreated Haruki, beating him even sometimes. We're all to blame. But out of everyone, he's the most monstrous.
After a few days of Haruki being gone, he tried to start throwing away Haruki's belongings. He had no heart for someone who wasn't his own blood.
All because he's my half-brother...
Mom snapped at him when he did this, like he truly meant what he said that day when he wanted him out of the family.
She said how cruel it was that he planted this idea in her head. Their relationship had been worsening daily.
This was all a bluff, I'm sure of it now after seeing Mom's reaction to everything. She thought this may rehabilitate him in some warped way.
"Hypocrite..." I whispered to myself.
We are all to blame for this, not just Dad. We isolated him, we destroyed him, and pushed him into a corner where he had no escape.
And now he's gone, and we went too far.
...
Why hasn't he checked his phone, or anything? That's what scared me the most, his phone had been turned off for days, since it wasn't even ringing.
His phone may be dead; he didn't bring a charger. He also didn't bring any money because he told me that morning that he was out of cash.
I...texted the only other person I was able to regarding Haruki at this point. Fukashima might know more than I do...
I had been trying to console my mother for about thirty minutes now, but I left to go and talk with her.
She texted me back right away, and we made plans, I met up with her at the local park, and we decided to walk back to my house and talk about everything.
She hadn't seen him around, nor had the manga cafe or any of his usual spots when he felt down.
....
When we got back home, mom was gone, and so was the car. I think she went out looking for him. I hope...she finds any sign of him...
Once she arrived, we were both sat on the couch, wallowing in our own self-made anxieties.
Then she said something that made everything stop.
It disgusted me.
Something that made the world white and made my mind darker than the gutter.
"I..I don't think he did it..."
...
I was hoping to never hear those words, just so my fragile justification could be upheld.
It was my worst fear that all of this was for nothing. That we had done this to him, for no reason at all.
...
"W-what do you mean?" I asked, but I already knew, and my face was sunken.
My eyes were blackened, and tears started swelling in my eyes, I messed up pretty good, I think.
...
"He might have been, falsely accused." She replied, looking down at her feet while holding her knees.
Her face bared teeth, like she was holding back that same animalistic cry that my mother let out an hour ago.
A false accusation...?
Why would someone lie about something that serious? Would they really do that...? Why?
"Do you ha-have any proof...?" I asked desperately. I should have been estatic that my brother hadn't done anything.
That he was innocent all of this time. Yet, if I did that, everything that we had all done to him would have been...for nothing. Just pure cruelty for the sake of...cruelty.
...
I felt evil and betrayed by my own sense of morality.
There was indominable silence between us.
...
Thoughts were pouring into my mind, I couldn't really think straight.
...
Did we get scammed? By those girls? I mean...mom did give them money.
...
Everything started to click... What was the evidence in the first place...?
A single video of a girl screaming, without adult or police intervention? Just the trust placed into one person, demanding money from our gullible mother?
Where did he go?
...
No...
Could it be... could he have done something drastic?
Then, something came into my head, the last thing he told me as I looked at him, leaving the house.
"I'll disappear. forever" He said, the morning of the incident.
...
Oh god, he really doesn't plan on coming back.
He's out there alone, completely gone.
It...It can't be.
...
It started...and I couldn't stop it.
I started crying hysterically, I was the first to break the silence between us. I felt sick... and was disgusted with myself, and I got nauseous...
I felt like I needed to throw up, but my legs were weak, and my mind felt broken.
I couldn't stop crying, it was something that felt...long needed.
I could barely breathe.
I ran to the toilet and emptied the contents of my stomach...everything felt awful.
Yet, that feeling didn't leave me. I felt awful. I continued to sob hysterically on the floor of the bathroom like a child with the flu.
...
Fukashima came in and helped me out to my bedroom to sit down. This was terrible...
"Uuuuueeeee I'mmmmmm sorrryyyyyyyyyy Harukiiii...I...I didn't meannn to....." I said, crying into the shoulder of Fukashima while we sat on the floor. She tried to console me, but it wouldn't work.
If it was true...and this was a false accusation this entire time, then...I did something unforgivable.
All I could do was continue to cry my soul to her.
"UUUeeeeeeeee Harukiiii pleaseeee come homee...pleasee..." I screamed, as I continued to scream into my own hands.
...
...
...
Fukashima's POV. (A few days prior.)
He hadn't come to school today, I mean, maybe he was sick or something from the bullying. Everyone had been...pretty cruel to him recently.
Yet he did something that was unforgiveable! I wanted to talk with him about it, and get his side of the story, maybe everyone was wrong...
I was thinking of waiting for him at his house after it happened, but I decided against it. Yet, it's been since last Friday since he's come to school.
He didn't come today either, so I decided to go to his house this time to see where he's been.
H-huh? Where is he...? Ayumi answered the door and said he's out today.
I was starting to get kind of worried; did he move to a different school...or something...? Did he not want me to know...?
I was...too cruel to him at school the other day. I shouldn't have called him a rapist.
He looked so hurt when I said that, I rememebred that face.
It was the same face that he had on when his dad died. He had...tendencies that he had to see a therapist over after it happened. Like he'd want to hurt himself as a child.
...
I'm sorry...I was mean to you, I didn't mean to snap like that...
...
I had to tell myself pretty often that everything was fine, although it wasn't. I haven't seen him for days, so my anxieties grew reasonably large.
I wish I listened to him, at least get his side of the story. Maybe she seduced him or something, and regretted it afterwards?
...no, he wouldn't be that easy.
...
Yet, everyone in class was still talking.
"What a pig. I hope he switched schools."
"Disgusting, what if he's dead, haha."
Although they weren't as predominant as the day the incident happened, they still talked about him like this.
I wanted to go to the teacher, but even they were turning a blind eye to everything, since his sin was that serious.
...
Satomi continued going around school acting as if nothing had happened as well. Laughing it up with her friends, while he was suffering somewhere all alone.
I was starting to seriously doubt anything happened at all.
I started getting suspicious.
...
That wasn't the attitude of someone who's been assaulted, no adults, and no police at all. Her attitude told the truth...or at least hinted towards it.
He was also being severely bullied by his class, every single person thought of him like trash. but he was my prince.
...
Why did I treat him like that? I shouldn't have called him a rapist.
I should have never made him jealous by talking to other guys, I hate myself for thinking that it felt good to watch him writhe over me like he did.
...
Was I wrong for thinking that...? I was only human after all...
...
Yet another day had passed, and I started to get worried. Ayumi would say the same thing every single day, but her hair would grow more and more disheveled.
Her eyes grew darker, and her mother was missing more often.
...
I started to follow her outside of her house, she'd leave in the evenings to go on these long...walks.
It seemed like she was looking for something, although I didn't know what.
...
Now it's been about an entire week since he's been seen at school.
People had been asking about him, even Satomi looked...confused. Why hadn't he at least come to school...?
What had happened? Was it the bullying?
"When was the last time anyone saw him...?" Daisuke asked while he was doing cleaning duty after class.
"I'm not sure, I don't think anyone I know saw him..." Akami replied, alongside Chisaki.
....
....
"I mean...he's a molester, right? Who cares anyways." Daisuke said back, continuing his duties.
"Y-yeah, who care right?" Akami replied.
...
What...evidence did Satomi even have...?
I need to...look into this, once and for all I think.
...
...
...
Fukashima POV (Nine Days Later)
...
He's truly gone, people at school have started to forget as well. Akami, Daisuke, Miyu, even Chisaki and Satomi had stopped talking about it.
The homeroom teacher hadn't mentioned his name during roll call for a few days now.
...
I finally had it a few days ago, and Ayumi had finally told me the truth.
That...they had kicked him out of the house. I was the only one at school to know this.
I didn't want to hear any cruelty towards him, so I didn't tell the homeroom teacher, or anyone at school.
...
As soon as school is finished, I start looking around town, going further out each time. Ayumi had been doing the same along with his mother, they realized that...he needed help and therapy.
Not neglect...adn that's if he did it in the first place.
Ayumi had realized that a false accusation was possible, lack of evidence, attitude, and the defiant behavior of Haruki before he left.
He would never be the type to do this...but we don't have any evidence.
...
I prayed that I'd be able to see him, somewhere. I stopped by ever manga cafe in the city, every local fast food joint, anywhere you could think of.
Nothing.
...
Hoping I get a glimpse of him somewhere.
...
Then, out of a whim, I looked on Satomi's social media to see if anything was on there.
A few posts a day, typical for a gyaru like her.
Then, I found something, it made me curious, a post from the same day as the incident. The same day she said she was assualted.
....
A local girl. Not from our school, but someone Satomi had apparently been hanging out with at a karaoke bar.
Laughing with on the same day as the incident...
I recognized her as a local worker at the batting cage I used to go to with Haruki before things turned bad between us.
...
I thought it to be odd cause she didn't go to our school, but whatever.
So....
...I went to go and see if she was there at the batting cage, working today.
I went inside, and tried confronting her with a few discreet questions, poking and prodding at her.
.....
"Well n-no I havent....heard anything..." The girl replied, eyes darting around.
She looked, confused....
...
I felt something was off.
I told her a boy went missing, and the circumstances of what happened, that he's currently homeless due to what had happened. I wanted to see...if she would be able to feel guilt.
Or if she was a monster...like Satomi.
...
After a moment, she started...stuttering. Then her story wouldn't hold right.
...
Then she started crying. Her tears were filled with guilt, and honesty.
"I...I didn't mean to cause this...it wasn't me...."
...
"...what..?" I replied to her.
Then, finally, she pulled out her phone and showed me a video.
...
It was black, no visuals whatsoever.
But there was audio.
It was from that night when Satomi had "attacked" Haruki.
...
But it was just four voices, laughing and joking around.
Then it seemed as if they started screaming into the mic.
"NOO PLEASE Haruki... NO STOP..."
Then laughing...
Then she carefully laid out her plan to humiliate him, and demanded a settlement.
All on video....
...
My mind went blank.
There was no assault.
No struggle.
...
Nothing that would match the accusations. It was clear she was acting the whole time.
I couldn't believe it.
I asked her to send me the video.
...
Her friend let me, just made me promise that Satomi wouldn't find out it was her.
She continued to cry, saying that she never meant for him to lose everything like this. That she regretted the whole thing and only wanted to "fit in" with Satomi's crew.
...
I knew this could change everything.
I stepped out of the business, and the air suddenly colder than before.
....
The sounds of the city blurred into static.
That recording kept playing in my head.
Her laughter, with the fake pleading and cruelty inside her voice.
T-this was just blatant fraud...
.....
Why did she do that...? For money...?
She planned it.
They all laughed like it was a game.
I've never wanted to be violent to anyone in my life, but I really wanted to slap her across the face.
And yet I...I believed her.
I let her point the finger, and I stood there and watched.
I let Haruki's life crumble down into what it is now.
...
And...
I didn't even try to ask for his side.
My legs buckled, and I sat down on the curb, people passing by like I didn't even exist.
Why would they care...?
I didn't care when it mattered. I just watched it happen. I'm disgusting.
"Haruki..." I whispered while letting out a soft cry.
I was supposed to be his friend. He's my crush...
I love him so much...
I was there when he defended me in middle school. When the upperclassmen were mocking me for my braces.
He took the heat. Made a scene so they'd leave me alone.
And I threw him away like garbage.
I was in love with him, upset that he chose another women over me.
Then this happened...
God. Oh my god.
He's missing. He's out there, alone, with nothing.
No friends. No family. No one to call.
Because of us. Because of me.
"What... what have I done...?"
I covered my face and sobbed on the sidewalk, shoulders trembling, the city rushing past me in its usual indifference.
...
A couple asked if I was okay.
I wasn't.
I wasn't okay.
I helped to ruin the life of my childhood friend, and my crush...
What if he's already dead?
What if he's lying in some alley, cold, starving, lifeless?
I couldn't think like this, I'd break if I did.
"God please....let him be safe."
All because I didn't have the guts to speak up...?
Tears spilled out, hot and bitter.
I wanted to throw up.
The guilt sat in my throat like a rock.
I stood up on shaky legs and clutched my phone like it was the only thing tethering me to reality.
This recording... this proof... It could clear Haruki's name.
It could turn everything around.
But even if it does, it won't fix what I did.
It won't ease the pain I helped cause.
All I can do is continue.
Keep searching.
Make it right.
If I can find him...I swear I'll never let him go again.
"I'm sorry" I whispered to nobody.
"I'm so sorry."