JAEMIN'S POV
I approach a bed in the middle of my private dungeon, my muscles tense and my heart thrumming in my chest. A woman is bound near the headboard, her legs spread wide. Even in the darkness, I can see the gleam of her desire between her thighs...
"Please, Jaemin. I can't take this much longer. I need you inside me."
A strong clench of desire takes hold of me as I watch (Y/N) struggle against her bonds. Her hips buck and plead, her whole body writhing in desperation.
"I told you to call me Daddy. When we're in here, I'm your Dom. Call me Daddy, or that sweet skin will feel my sting."
(Y/N) bites back a moan as I trail a leather flogger down the line of her body. I skin over her curves, not stopping until I reach the pulsing heat of her.
"Yes, Daddy. Whatever you say, Daddy."
I reach for her, about to put her out of her misery, when...
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
"What the—?"
I jerk awake at the sound coming from my front door.
"Damn. Just a dream..."
Groggy from sleep and hard with desire, I swing my legs out of bed and force myself to a standing position.
This had better be important...
Yanking open the door, I let my annoyance cross my face...
"What the hell?"
...Only to find (Y/N) on the other side. She gives a start of surprise, a flush rising in her cheeks.
"Jaemin...I have a proposition for you."
"(Y/N)? What proposition? It's the middle of the night..."
"I'm sorry to stop by unannounced, but I realized something today...something big."
"About the divorce?"
"No. About myself."
She swallows reflexively. I can't tear myself away from the movement of her throat...until she speaks.
"I want to become a Submissive, Jaemin. And I want you to teach me how."
I'm already wound so tightly, my blood coursing hot and determined. At the sound of her words, it practically boils over.
"Come inside."
"Are you sure I'm not intruding?"
"I gave you an order."
As soon as (Y/N) is standing in my living room, I realize my mistake. To actually have her inside my home, just a few feet away from my dungeon...
"Before you say anything, I want you to hear me out."
"I don't see the point. I can't give you what you want."
"Yes, you can. I've thought a lot about it. There's no one I trust more to introduce me to that world. After that night at the club—"
"The less said about that night, the better. I never should've taken you there."
"But you did, and I liked it. I liked being there with you."
I search in desperation for something—anything—to put her off.
"(Y/N)...I've never had a sub-virgin before. I'm not that kind of Dom. I prefer a woman with experience, someone who knows how to ask for what she wants."
"Then it'll be something new for us both. Besides, I'm asking for what I want right now, aren't I?"
Instead of being put off by my resistance, (Y/N) draws closer.
"You feel it too, don't you? This thing between us. At the club, when that other Dom talked to me...you didn't like it. You were jealous."
"My feelings have nothing to do with this."
"Maybe not, but mine do. I've decided to become someone's Sub, Jaemin. Wouldn't you rather it be you than some random stranger?"
I would rather that, but I know I can't give in.
"I'm not what you think I am. I shouldn't even be considering this."
"But you are considering it?"
Before I can respond, Anderson interrupts from the security office. I'm more relieved than I care to admit.
"Pack your bags, boss. You're needed in Seattle, STAT. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude..."
"You're not. I'll be down in ten."
"You're leaving? But it's the middle of the night." I state.
"Duty calls."
I move toward the door, ready to usher her out. But before I realize what's happening, (Y/N) is so close that I can feel her breath against my cheek.
"Have a safe trip, Daddy."
Her mouth presses against mine in a sudden, exhilarating kiss. I've spent so much time imagining those lips opening to let me in that I don't pull back right away. The kiss is more sweet than sultry, her lips soft and tender, her mouth waiting for mine to claim it.
It would be so easy to lean in, to show her what it really means to be submissive...
I push a warning voice deep down and wrap my hand around the back of her head. With a low moan, she parts her lips to let me in.
"You don't deserve this..."
"No, Jaemin."
"You haven't earned it."
"Of course not, Jaemin."
Her body coils into mine, seeking protection even as I punish her with my tongue. Her hips rock against mine, encouraging me to go deeper, take her harder...
"Dammit, (Y/N). It's not supposed to be like this."
I suddenly push (Y/N) away, my breathing ragged. She looks as flustered as I feel, her lips plump and her eyes bright. My anger has virtually no effect on her. She nods and takes a deep breath.
"Just think about it, Jaemin. That's all I ask."
I watch her leave, knowing she's all I'll be able to think about as I head to Seattle. The flight from Chicago to Seattle is one I've taken many times before. It passes in a blur of coffee, sideways looks from Anderson, and a determined effort to focus on my laptop...none of which gets (Y/N) out of my mind.
"Did you want to check into the hotel first, or should we head straight to our destination?"
"We might as well get this over with. Business before pleasure."
As much as I wish I could say this is my first time at the King County Jail, I know the bleak building well.
There's nothing like coming home again...or heading to county lockup to bail out my sister.
"She's gonna be happy to see you, Mr. Na. This one was a doozy." the police officer says.
"Let me guess. Political rally? Animal rights protest? Or just general mayhem in the streets?"
"I believe this one had something to do with climate change."
I nod. Of all the protests Jaehee has been arrested for, climate change is the one that fires her up the most. I turn as Jaehee is led into the room. She looks disheveled, exhausted...and like she's ready to head right back out to battle.
"It's about time, Jaemin! I was just about to give up on you."
"Jaehee...you have some serious explaining to do. Don't smile at me like that. This makes the second time within this month."
"I know. I'm going for a personal record."
Jaehee throws her arms around me, and I hug her back. She's much younger than me, but she's always been my favorite sibling, even though she's technically my half-sister.
"Thank you, Jaemin. I don't know what I'd do without you."
Her voice is thick with emotion, but she's as much a part of my family as I am. No tears are allowed to fall.
"You know I'm a divorce attorney, not a criminal one, right? One of these days, I'm gonna leave you in here."
"Yeah, right. There's nothing you love more than playing hero."
Jaehee winds her arm through mine as we make our way out of the jail. A night behind bars hasn't quelled her spirit in the least.
"How come no one from the family bailed you out? Not that I can't handle a little cross-country flight, but I'm not exactly your fastest option."
Jaehee rolls her eyes with heavy exaggeration.
"They're way too busy with their petty feuds to care what I'm doing. Dad even had the nerve to tell me I'm giving the family a bad name."
"Maybe Dad has a point. There's a difference between protesting for a cause and protesting for attention."
"I wasn't looking for attention! Do you have any idea how much of Seattle's carbon emissions are caused by transportation? Sixty percent! That's over half. But anyway...maybe you could come with me to tell everyone?"
I freeze. Confronting my dad and his newest family is hardly how I planned to spend my day...but I may be the only person who understands what Jaehee is up against.
"Sure thing, kiddo. I can give you a few hours."
Jaehee squeals and throws her arms around my neck.
"Have I ever told you that you're my favorite brother?"
"Considering the competition, that's not saying much..."
After taking the ferry across the water, I sit tense in the backseat of the car as it drives along the wooded road to the estate. It's been a long time since I set foot inside my family home on Bainbridge Island, and the moment I cross the threshold, I remember why...
"There you are, Jaehee. You missed our coffee date this morning. I was looking forward to introducing you to that cute new barista." our step-mom blurts out.
"Sorry, I had a...change of plans."
At the sight of me, my newest stepmom halts in her tracks.
"What are you doing here?"
I lean against the doorway, a bored look on my face.
"Nice to see you too. Don't worry, I'm only here for Jaehee. I'm not going to try to stake a claim on my shopping budget for the month."
My stepmom smiles brightly and pretends not to understand.
"As long as you're here, let me get you something to drink. Coffee? Tea? Vodka cranberry? It's five o'clock somewhere..."
"Thanks, but I'm good. Is Dad around?"
"Why do you want Dad, and why does Jaehee look like she spent the night chained to a tree?"
I turn to find my brother Jaehyun standing at the edge of the room. I greet him with a tight nod. Of all my dad's kids, he's the only one who shares the same mom as me, but if anything, that's only made our relationship worse.
"Everyone needs to chill for like, five seconds. I spent the night in jail. It's not a big deal."
"Jail? Again? "
"Your father isn't gonna like this..." our step-mom points out.
"Dammit, Jaehee, I hope you don't expect Dad to foot the bill again. Remember what he said last time—" Jaehyun begins to say.
"Hey, that was a private conversation!"
"When your last name is Na, nothing is private. What you do affects all of us." I blurt out.
Jaehee shoots me a pleading glance. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I take a deep breath.
"Why don't we stop being so goddamn dramatic? I've been here all of five minutes, and I'm already over it. Take a breath, sit down, and listen for once."
My stern, commanding voice takes effect immediately. My stepmom lowers herself into a chair, and Jaehyun takes a seat opposite of her.
"There. Don't you feel better?" I ask.
"A little." my step-mom replies.
"No." my brother growls.
"I know I do..." Jaehee answers under her breath.
My jaw tightens as I realize that no one seems worried about Jaehee's well-being.
"Jaehee wasn't hurt at the protest, in case you wanted to know."
"She never is. Even she knows better."
Everyone turns at the sound of Na Richard's voice. As my father walks in, he wears an aloof expression that turns the room to ice.
"Daddy! You're here..." Jaehee says with a jerk.
"Darling, thank goodness you're home."
"We had things handled just fine on our own." Jaehyun huffs.
Instead of acknowledging the others, my father narrows his eyes at me.
"I take it you came to bail that child out of trouble again. Even after I expressly told you not to."
"Funny, I'm pretty sure I don't take orders from you anymore."
Instead of answering, my dad's gaze skims over Jaehee, barely registering her presence. As far as I'm concerned, it's the last straw.
"Jaehee is the only one of us who stands up for what she believes in. We could all learn something from her. When was the last time anyone in this room cared about anything other than money?"
"I care about other things." Jaehyun says quick in defense.
"Your own reflection in the mirror doesn't count." Jaehee murmurs.
I turn to Jaehyun, my patience strained to its limit. I can't decide which is worse, his self-righteous attitude or my father's cold indifference.
"Are you really going to pretend like Jaehee is the one in the wrong? You know as well as I do what it's like to be raised in this family."
"Exactly. This family has standards, and Jaehee isn't meeting any of them."
I shake my head, disappointed but not surprised by Jaehyun's response. He's been following in our father's footsteps for years.
"Well, I'm proud of Jaehee for what she did. I know you refuse to see it, but she's smart and strong. You could all stand to learn something from her."
"Aw, Jaemin. You're gonna make me cry."
Jaehee gives me another hug, but the rest of the family hardly seems to notice.
"I wash my hands of the whole affair. Clean up your act, Jaehee, and remember what you owe the family."
"I'm late for a meeting with the investors." Jaehyun quickly leaves the room.
"Uh, I think I hear the nanny calling for me." my step-mom stutters and makes her move out of the room.
I wash my hands of the whole affair. Clean up your act, Jaehee, and remember what you owe the family.
"Whew. I'm glad that's over. Thanks for being there for me, Jaemin."
"Don't let them win. You can't let them get to you. No matter what happens, you have to trust in yourself."
Jaehee dashes a hand at her eyes.
"I'll do my best, but it's a lot easier to fight the patriarchy than it is my own father. At least the patriarchy cares enough to fight back."
Now that the confrontation is over, Jaehee returns to her sunny self.
"Sorry about all this. Anderson is probably wondering what we did to you in here."
"Anderson knows not to interrupt me when things are...intense."
"Come on. I'll walk you to the car."
Jaehee and I continue catching up as she walks outside with me. Being in this place stirs up so many unpleasant emotions that my mind starts wandering to more pleasant ones...
"I'm taking this really cool criminal justice class right now. It's all about how the rates of—Jaemin, are you even listening to me?"
"Hmm? Oh, sorry. I got distracted."
"What's going on with you? You're being weird. Anderson, you've noticed it too, right?"
"Don't ask me. Jaemin doesn't tell me anything."
"No, but you follow him around like a puppy dog. You see things. You know things."
"Actually, I'm paid not to see things..."
"I knew it! What haven't you seen? Is it a girl? I feel like it's a girl."
"You know, you're a lot less trouble when you're behind bars." I tell her sarcastically.
"Yeah, but I'm not nearly as much fun. What's she like? Do you loooooove her?"
"Love is a myth sold by greeting card companies. It's sentimental and sloppy, and I want nothing to do with it."
"Don't let our dad's mistakes keep you from being happy, Jaemin. He might not be able to make a marriage last, but you're not him."
Anderson senses that I've reached my limit and coughs gently.
"We should get going, Jaemin."
You're right. I'm sure we'll be back in a few weeks when they need me to unlock Jaehee from a tree she's chained herself to."
"Hey! Despite what Jaehyun says, I haven't done that since I was a kid."
I give her a quick hug before getting into the car. As good as it was to see her, it's nice to escape back to my own thoughts...and to the buzzing of my phone.
I knew it. I'm not the only distracted one today. (Y/N) must not be able to stop thinking about me...
I glance at the screen only to feel a pang of disappointment. Instead of (Y/N), it's from an old friend...
SLOAN:
"Heard you're back in town for a few. Drinks?"
JAEMIN:
"Count me in. The usual place?"
SLOAN:
"See you there in an hour."
Even though it wasn't the text I was hoping for, I can't help grinning. Seeing Sloan is always a treat...
"Anderson, we're taking a detour. Head toward the Space Needle."
"Are you meeting up with Sloan?"
"Who else? You know he can't get enough of the views from the top."
Anderson makes the turn toward the center of downtown Seattle. The sights are familiar as we head straight into the traffic. The car comes to a stop in front of a high-end adult toy store. I used to frequent it all the time back when I lived here.
I think I bought my first pair of real handcuffs there.
The window display showcases a flogger made of the finest Italian leather. A smooth ball tip on the handle promises untold agonies...and ecstasies. The thought comes before I can stop it, the metal image is too tempting to ignore.
FANTASY
"Please, Jaemin. Don't you want to use the flogger to punish me...?"
PRESENT
Those tresses would look stunning lashed across (Y/N)'s skin...
I order Anderson to park as I slide out of the car and head into the shop. The products here are exquisite... I motion for a salesman to pack up the flogger in the window.
"I'll take that one, please. The wide cut looks as though it'll sting."
As he begins to ring up the sale, I pull out my phone and snap a photo of the flogger. In this light, the purple leather gleams with promise... I send the picture to (Y/N), my lips curving as I imagine her expression.
JAEMIN:
"(Y/N)... Have you been behaving yourself? When the cat's away, the mouse had better not play..."
I send her a picture of the new flogger I just purchased.
I watch as the reply bubbles pop up...only to disappear again.
"Couldn't resist a quick visit, huh? Typical."
Glancing up, I see the grinning, playful smile of my oldest friend. Sloan pulls me in for a quick bracing hug.
"How is it you get more fit every time I see you? Did you make a deal with the devil?" Sloan jokes.
"I am the devil, or did you forget? What're you doing here? I figured you'd be drunk and spinning around the Space Needle by now."
"I could say the same of you. I saw you from the street and decided to pop in."
The salesman hands over the bag containing my new flogger. Sloan takes one look at it and raises his brow.
"Another one? Damn, Jaemin. You must be hard on your whips...or your subs."
"I have my eye on a new potential Sub."
"She must be something special if you're laying down this kinda cash already..."
"You know me. Always showing off."
"You're never happy unless you're the center of attention."
He winks.
"Me either, now that I think about it."
I thank the salesman and head toward the door.
"First round's on me, but I'm counting on you for the next five or six."
"Why do I get the feeling tonight is going to bankrupt me?"
"Don't be so dramatic. I promise to be worth every penny."
Soon, Sloan and I are seated at our favorite table at the revolving restaurant on top of the Space Needle. Expansive views of the whole city spread out in every direction...but I'm far too busy looking at my phone to notice.
I can't believe (Y/N) hasn't texted me back yet...
"You should've told me Jaehee was in jail again. You know how much I love any excuse to annoy your family. I'd have bailed her out for you."
"Thanks, but I needed to handle this one on my own. Jaehee is..."
"A pain in the ass? A menace to society? Your favorite person in the world except for me?"
"You haven't been my favorite anything since you stole that sub I had my eye on six years ago."
"What can I say? Women find me irresistible. Unlike you, I don't glower and stomp everywhere I go..."
My phone buzzes in my hand. With a sudden, sharp lurch in my chest, I glance down...only to find a calendar reminder from my assistant.
"Okay, I'll bite. What the hell is on your phone, and why is it more important than catching up with your best friend?"
"You caught me. It's a woman."
"Who are you, and what have you done with the real Na Jaemin?"
"I've been asking myself that question all day..."
Sloan leans eagerly across the table, an amused glint in his eye.
"This is about the flogger you bought, isn't it?"
I sigh. If anyone will understand my reservations where (Y/N) is concerned, it's Sloan.
"I sent a picture of it to a woman I'm considering taking on, but she hasn't responded yet."
"That's not very obedient of her... How fun."
"A divorce client of mine stopped by my apartment last night and asked me to be her dom."
"A bold request. I like it. Unless you've changed, you like it too. You've always preferred subs who are willing to ask for what they want."
"That's the problem. She's way too innocent for me...but I don't know how much longer I can fight it..."
"Then don't. She wants to be your sub. You want to be her dom. As long as you take things slow and listen to her, what's to lose?"
I stare at Sloan, annoyed at how simple he makes it all seem.
"And if you're not man enough to take her on, send her my way. Maybe I could break her in for you..."
"Ha! You wish."
A surge of jealousy overtakes me, but I school my features into a calm mask.
"You're just upset because all the good subs like me better."
"It sounds like you've already made up your mind."
Instead of rising to the bait, I shove all thoughts of (Y/N) aside.
"I'm tired of talking about me. How was your trip to Amsterdam? I hear you got up to a lot of trouble over there."
Sloan accepts the change of topic with a grin. I'm safe from (Y/N)...for now.
Later that night, I settle into my hotel room. Even though I'm steeped in luxury and comfort, sleep is the last thing on my mind. The sheets around me are a tangled mess, my body tense, and my thoughts wound up in (Y/N). I sneak one last peek at my phone...
"Still nothing. If she wants to play a game, I'll play. I know she saw the picture I sent her."
Instead of allowing my irritation to take over, a slow, creeping smile crosses my face. A sub of mine would never dare to ignore me...
"If she's serious about wanting me to be her Dom, then she'll pick up the phone when I call...or else."
Before I can change my mind, I call (Y/N). She picks up on the first ring, her voice breathless.
"Jaemin?"
"You're damn right it's Jaemin."
"What's wrong? Are you mad?"
My blood is already starting to pound, hot and insistent a bit courses through my veins.
"Of course I am. Do you have any idea what you did to me today?"
"No... Didn't your business go well?"
"Don't ignore my question. Why didn't you respond to my text?"
"Oh. You mean the...toy."
"Yes, (Y/N). The toy."
"I was trying to give you some space. I didn't want to push too hard."
"Hard is the only way I do things. I work hard. I play hard. I whip hard. I fuck hard."
A soft, reflexive whimper escapes her.
"I wanted to answer your text, Jaemin, I promise. It's all I've been able to think about."
"Tell me what you were thinking."
"I..."
"Say it, (Y/N). I want to know what you imagined. I want to know if you touched yourself."
"I didn't, I swear. I only thought about where you'd whip me."
"And?"
Her breath catches. At the sound of it, my body starts to harden. She wants this even more than I do...
"You'd touch the leather to the tips of my breasts."
"Yes. I would."
"You'd lash it against my belly."
"Harder than you can imagine."
(Y/N) whimpers so loudly that the sound reverberates through my whole body.
"And then you'd command me to open my legs..."
It's all I can do to keep my grip on the phone. There's nothing I'd love more than to have (Y/N) spread out before me.
"Poor thing. It hurts already, doesn't it? Even though I'm so far away?"
"You know it does..."
"Would you like me to kiss it and make it better?"
"Right now?"
Now that I have (Y/N) panting into the phone, I'm not ready to give her up so easily.
"Are you in bed right now?"
"Of course I am. It's almost midnight."
"Are you alone?"
"You know I am..."
"Are you naked?"
A soft choking sound is all the answer I need. She might not be naked yet, but she will be very soon...
"Is that...how you want me?"
"I want you to fully stip. I won't be happy until there's nothing between you and the bedsheets."
"Yes, Jaemin. I can do that."
"Tell me what you're doing. I want to know every detail."
"Every detail?"
"Don't make me say it a second time."
Her short, sharp breath tells me that she recognizes my authority...for now.
"I'm pulling my nightshirt over my head."
"Can you feel your nipples rubbing against the fabric?'
"Yes."
"Are they tight and hard for me?"
"God, yes."
I chuckle and close my eyes, picturing her surprise at her own body's response.
"Now what?"
"I'm sliding my panties down my legs."
"Are they wet?"
"They've been wet all day..."
My eyelids flutter closed as I take a moment to compose myself, the image of her thighs pressed together, attempting to conceal how I make her feel...
"Good."
I make quick work of my own clothes, stripping them off and tossing them aside. Phone sex isn't something I often indulge in, but based on my body's response, I should make it a regular part of my routine with (Y/N).
"What do I do now?"
"I want you to pick a toy from the dungeon."
"But I don't have any toys..."
"I know. Pick one from your imagination, and I'll tell you exactly what I'll do with it."
"I can't do that! You pick for me."
"Then I choose handcuffs. I know how much you can't resist a pair of those..."
"Jaemin!"
"I command you up against the headboard with your arms above your head. You can feel my whole body pressing you into the mattress as I straddle your hips and click the handcuffs into place."
I can practically feel her squirming underneath me as I picture the shackles holding her fast.
"With your hands trapped like this, I have no way to escape me...or the things I'll do to you."
"What will you do to me?"
"For now, I'm just going to watch. And wait. I'd love to see you strung up like this, your breasts exposed, your knees spread wide..."
(Y/N)'s breathing is coming harder and faster, with an edge that I recognize as her body's desperation to be touched. It's a feeling I share. The hard, hot pulse of my desire demands immediate attention.
"You like that, don't you? The way you feel when you're at my mercy?"
"Yes, Jaemin..."
"Now I want you to touch yourself. Slide your fingers down your belly...slowly. Slip your hand between your legs and feel how slick you are for me."
"Oh God...I'm so wet."
"Not so fast, (Y/N). You can touch yourself, but that's all. You don't cum until I command you to."
"I'm not sure that's possible."
"If I hear you cum without my permission, you'll be punished."
Her ragged breathing is audible through the phone.
"Yes, Jaemin."
Now that (Y/N) is in position, I run my own hand down my body. Every muscle is tense, every part of me throbbing with need.
"If I'm not allowed to cum, what's the point of all this?"
"The point, little lamb, is for you to lay there and suffer while I enjoy myself."
"How is that fair?"
"It's not. Would you like to know what I'm doing right now?"
A soft mewl escapes her.
"Tell me."
"Beg."
"Please tell me!"
"You can do better than that, (Y/N). I need to know how bad you want it."
"Please, Jaemin. I can't... It's not..."
She draws a deep breath and tries again.
"I'm picturing you right now, and it hurts so much not to be there. I want to see you. I want to watch you."
An answering hunger rises through me. My body jerks with a spasm of quick, powerful longing.
"Are your hands where I told you to put them?"
"Yes. I wouldn't disobey you."
"Then I'll reward you...a little."
My body is more than ready by this time, my hot, heavy length throbbing as I work my hand up and down.
"I'm gripping myself right now. The more I picture you lying in that bed, empty without me, the harder I get."
"Oh, God. I don't think I can—"
"You can, and you will. Otherwise, I won't tell you how it feels to stroke myself in front of you."
"Do I...like it?"
"You love it. Your eyes are wide and your mouth is open. You want to taste me. You want to choke on me."
"Oh God..."
"If you were here right now, I'd make you watch as I cum. You'd get on your knees and enjoy every second."
"I want that. I want it so bad."
As much as I'd love to keep this call going all night, my body is rapidly approaching its finish. (Y/N)'s gasps are too loud, her whimpers setting off something wild inside me.
"Would you like to cum now, (Y/N)?"
"Please, Jaemin, let me cum for you."
The promptness of her reply pleases me.
"Then slide your fingers in deep. Rock your hips against your hand. Imagine me there to make it feel all better."
As I make the commands, I hold my own pleasure back. Every part of me is coiled and tensed, ready to break free, but I refuse to cum before she does.
"I'm so close...I need you..."
"Cum for me. Now."
"Yes, Jaemin. Yes."
The cry that breaks out over the phone is so loud, so uninhibited, that the last of my control gives way. My body jerks against my hand. The orgasm that rocks through me is so powerful that it's all I can do to not call out (Y/N)'s name in response. I relax onto the bed, allowing my breathing to level before I trust myself to speak.
It's a good thing (Y/N) isn't here to see me. If she had any idea what kind of power she has over me...
"Um. Wow. That was..."
I put my Dom voice back on, amusement starting to creep through. She sounds as bewildered as I feel.
"See how good it can be when you do as you're told?"
"To be honest, it mostly makes me wonder what it'd be like in real life. Have you made up your mind about my offer yet?"
My afterglow haze is cut short in a flash. I'm annoyed, but not at her.
What was I thinking, calling her like this? I'm only making this harder on myself.
"(Y/N)..."
"You know what? Forget I asked. You obviously need more time. I didn't mean to push. It's just...now that I've had a taste of what it's like, I'm not sure I can ever go back."
I share her sentiments wholeheartedly. To admit it out loud, however...
"Goodnight, (Y/N). We'll talk when I get back."
"Take all the time you need."
I hang up the phone before I can say the disastrous words about to form on my lips...
"The only thing I need right now...is you."
When I get back to Chicago the following night, I find myself standing outside (Y/N)'s apartment.
"Jaemin, you're back! Did you want to come in?"
I shake my head. "This'll be quick."
"Does that mean..."
"I'll be your teacher...but I have two conditions. Rule number one, there will be no physical touching. I can teach you everything you need to know without crossing that line."
"You don't want to touch me?"
"What I want doesn't matter. As your teacher, my only job will be to make you feel comfortable exploring your boundaries. I can't do that if our relationship is a physical one."
"What's the second condition?"
"Rule number two is that we'll keep all feelings out of this. Once we start letting emotions in, relationships get complicated."
"But—"
"I mean it, (Y/N). I'm not interested in breaking your heart. These conditions are non-negotiable."
I pause, giving her time to digest these rules. To my surprise, she straightens her shoulders almost at once, a smile on her lips.
"Okay. I can agree to that."
"Then your BDSM training starts tomorrow. Prepare yourself."