JAEMIN POV
I find myself relaxing into the swaying of the yacht and the warm lull of (Y/N)'s body nestled against mine.
I can't believe that actually just happened, and that it felt so...sweet.
The yacht comes to a sudden halt just as that word spikes through me.
'Sweet'? Since when have I like sex that was sweet?
"What was that?"
"The yacht is docking. We're back."
"Does this mean we finally have the place to ourselves? I can think of a few ways to put this big ship to use..."
I close my eyes against the sleepy, sexy sight of her. Making (Y/N) cum in every room on this yacht sounds far too appealing...
"I didn't realize we were so close to home."
"Is that...bad?"
I shake my head and do my best to school my expression. I can't let (Y/N) see how rattled I am... As I help (Y/N) up, I'm careful to keep physical contact to a minimum. It seems silly now that I've already broken the rules, but it's the only way I can maintain control.
"Anderson always gets the day off after a big event like this, so I'll drive you back."
"Are you sure? I can always call a rideshare..."
"I'm sure. I'd rather see you safely home. It's the least I can do."
"Thanks, I'd like that."
The guests are all gone as I lead (Y/N) across the deck and down the gangway in the early morning light. Anderson has left my car in its usual spot. I open the passenger side door and help (Y/N) into her seat. I lean in and draw the seatbelt across (Y/N)'s lap. She sits perfectly still while I click it in place.
"Not even Anderson offered to buckle me in..."
"Good. He's not allowed to touch."
Chicago is quiet this time of morning. I'm painfully aware of (Y/N) seated next to me, trying not to push me too far.
Dammit. I'm doing it again, taking my issues out on her, making her pay for my weaknesses...
I turn onto the street in front of her apartment. Once again, I'm acting like a complete ass...and once again, she's doing her best to keep me happy.
"Wait, (Y/N). Don't get out yet."
"Is something wrong?"
"Yes...me."
I take a deep breath and turn to face her, determined to do this next part right. It's my job to make sure she's safe and comfortable after the night we just had. I pull the car into the nearest parking spot and switch the ignition off.
"What're you doing?"
"I'm coming up with you...and before you argue, you don't have a say in the matter. It's my duty to take care of you."
I pull open (Y/N)'s door and help her out of the car, then walk her into the building.
"Is this something all doms do?"
"It's something all doms should do. Especially after a session as...intense as ours."
"Intense? Do you mean physically or emotionally?"
"I mean both. It's not a simple as one or the other. The whole point of BDSM is that it taps into every part of you."
"I think I get what you mean. I feel emotionally exhausted. Good, but exhausted."
she flashes me a quick, coy grin.
"I also hurt in places I didn't even know existed..."
I guide (Y/N) into the elevator and up to her penthouse. It's been a while since I was last in here, and I'm struck by how all the little details make it feel like a home.
"I like what you've done with the place..."
"I didn't want to make any big changes and—"
I put my hand on her shoulders, waiting for her gaze to meet mine.
"You don't have to explain yourself to me, (Y/N). I wanted you to make yourself at home. Now, let's get you into a nice, hot bubble bath."
(Y/N) follows me into the bathroom and watches as I start to fill the huge tub with jasmine-scented bubbles.
"I've never had anyone draw me a bath before."
"You were very good tonight, (Y/N). You deserve it."
She glances back through the doorway to the bedroom.
"Are you sure I shouldn't just go to bed? It's been a long night..."
I test the temperature with my fingertips. Scooping up a handful of bubbles, I lift it to my lips and blow.
"Be a good girl and get in for me. I won't sleep tonight unless I know you've been taken care of."
(Y/N) doesn't look as though she believes me, but she begins unzipping her dress.
"If you insist. It does look awfully nice..."
I help (Y/N) into the tub, mesmerized by the elegance of her bare body as it disappears under the billowing cloud of soap.
"Okay, I'm covered in bubbles. Now what?"
"Now you relax...and we have a little talk. What do you know about the sub-drop?"
She wrinkles her nose and sinks deeper into the water.
"I'm guessing it has something to do with how...deflated I feel?"
I nod and reach for one of the scented massage oil bottles on the edge of the tub. I grab (Y/N)'s ankle and gently tub her until her long, silky leg hangs over the edge.
"The sub-drop is a proven psychological phenomenon, a sort of endorphin decline that can leave you feeling depressed and anxious if you're not careful."
"Is that why you're being so sweet to me?"
"Partially, yes."
I begin rubbing (Y/N)'s leg in long, slick strokes with the massage oil. She moans and stretches her calf under my touch.
"Most subs experience a sub-drop in some form or another."
"How long does it last?"
"It depends. So it's important to be aware of how you come down from a BDSM encounter...especially if you feel yourself spiraling out."
"If you keep massaging all the way up to my thigh, I think I'll recover from it."
I chuckle but keep my hands below the knee.
"As long as I take care of yourself and listen to your body, you should be able to avoid crashing too hard."
(Y/N) sits up, slashing scented water over the edge of the tub.
"Do doms experience it too?"
"It's different for doms. Some experience a top-drop, but it tends to have less to do with exhaustion and more to do with guilt."
"Do you feel guilty? About what we did?"
My stomach clenches tightly, but I shake my head. The guilt I feel isn't about my session...it's that I let myself get involved in her life at all.
"What happened between us was...inevitable."
The air feels thick with everything that's unspoken between us, but I know from experience how important it is not to make any major decisions in the heady aftermath.
"A bubble bath is a nice start, but you should also get plenty of fluids and lots of rest."
Mentioning rest causes (Y/N) to break out in a sleep yawn.
"YOU: I feel like I could sleep for days..."
"Then that's exactly what you should do."
I unplug the tub, then grab the biggest, fluffiest towel I can find. I hold it up and gesture for (Y/N) to get out.
"Don't be surprised if you feel tender tomorrow. If you've got bruises, they could take a few days to heal."
"I like the idea of seeing reminders."
I suck in a sharp breath and lead her to the bedroom.
I won't need any reminders to remember the sound of you screaming my name.
(Y/N) slips into her pajamas as I pull back her comforter and fluff her pillow.
"I had no idea you could be so domestic, Jaemin."
I wait until she's comfortably tucked in before I respond.
"I'm a lot of things you don't know about yet..."
Partially to prevent her from saying more, and partially because I can't resist, I drop my mouth to hers for a kiss. I recognize it as a mistake the moment she parts her lips with a soft sigh and kisses me back... I lean in as her arms wind around my neck. Her lips move in soft, gentle waves under mine.
"I've never had a goodnight kiss quite like this before."
"That's because I've never kissed you goodnight before."
(Y/N) gasps as I take her lower lip between my teeth and tug at it. Her body starts to move under the sheets, the swish of fabric over her body like a symphony.
"(Y/N), we shouldn't..."
"I know. But I don't want to crash, Jaemin. Not yet."
I'm powerless to resist this plea or the way she nibbles at the edges of my lips. With a low groan of approval, I give her exactly what she wants, capturing her mouth until we're both panting for more.
"(Y/N)..."
I can feel her body arching toward mine, her perfect curves begging for my touch.
"I'm sorry, but I don't have the strength to resist you. You have to be the first to pull away."
I groan as I slide my tongue over hers, falling so far into her that I lose track of my surroundings. As my mouth slashes over hers, I let the kiss say all the things I can't...
I want you...I need you...I won't be satisfied until you're completely mine...
The soft, whimpering sounds coming from (Y/N)'s throat are starting to make me lose control. (Y/N) pouts as I step away from the bed and order her to stay in it.
"I know we do. I just... You won't disappear again? Like last time?"
It takes all my self-control not to dive in the bed and put the smile back on (Y/N)'s face. I lean down and press a soft kiss on her forehead instead.
"I won't disappear, I promise. I'll call you later this week...once we've both had a chance to recover."
She nods, and I quietly leave her bedroom.
Giving (Y/N) some space was the right thing to do...so why does it feel so wrong?
Half an hour later, I let myself into my penthouse. The sound of rock music playing and the tinkle of ice in a whiskey glass can only mean one thing...
"Someone's keeping late hours."
"Remind me to take away your emergency key."
"This is an emergency. My best friend is an asshole, and I can't decide what to do about it."
Sloan offers me a drink, and I takes a long sip, my stress starting to ebb as soon as the liquor hits my tongue.
"So...you wanna explain what that whole thing was last night? I've seen animals at the zoo act less territorial."
"Sloan, I owe you an apology. I know. I was an ass. There's no excuse."
"Wait, wait, wait. Did the Na Jaemin just apologize...of his own volition?"
"You don't have to be so obnoxious about it. I do apologize...sometimes."
"You all but begged me to come out here, Jaemin. To meet your new protegee, to take her under my wing and into my bed..."
"I never said that."
"You practically threw her into my arms! And like a good friend, I caught her for you."
"Sloan...watch what you say. I'm not in the mood to be toyed with."
"Yeah, well neither am I! I only bend so far before I snap, Jaemin. Stop acting like you've never seen an emotion before. Look, I get it. I really do. A sub like (Y/N) doesn't come around every day. She's...special. It took me two minutes to see the potential in that woman, and from the way the other doms were talking. I'm not the only one."
"Which other doms?"
"Does it matter? If you aren't careful, someone is gonna swoop in and steal her out from under me."
I brush past him, trying to ignore his warning. He shouts after me...
"If you weren't such a good friend, I'd give it a try myself. A real try this time, with all the expensive gifts and promises of pleasure that come with it."
I slam my bedroom door closed, but it doesn't make me feel better. Neither does a cold shower or another glass of whiskey.
It's a good thing I have work to distract me for the next few days...
By the end of the week, I know it's time to give (Y/N) a call. The only problem is...I don't know what to say. I pick up the phone for the hundredth time, but Anderson steps through the door before I can dial.
"Your receptionist wants to know your lunch order. Sushi from that place in West Town, or Thai from the South Side?"
I wave an impatient hand at him.
"Sushi. No, Thai. No... You know what? Pick for me."
"Something on your mind, boss? You're not usually this indecisive about lunch...or anything, for that matter."
"It's nothing. Forget it."
Anderson gives me an odd look before nodding and leaving. I groan and drop my head to my hands. Setting all professional considerations aside, I can't ignore the fact that I'm no good for (Y/N) in the long-term.
We might have amazing chemistry together, but we're fundamentally different people. She's everything good in this world... And I'm not.
I'm doing my best not to imagine all the ways I could corrupt (Y/N) when my phone rings. I pick it up without look at the name.
"(Y/N)?"
"Sorry to disappoint, brother. Who's (Y/N)?"
"No one. What do you want, Jaehee?"
Jaehee hesitates for a moment before answering.
"...I don't know how much more I can take, Jaemin. For real. It's getting unbearable around here."
"You only have a few years of college left. We all had to our time. It gets better once you're out from under his roof, I promise."
"That's easy for you to say. You're already out."
Jaehee sighs. There's a wobble to her voice that makes it sound like she's trying not to cry.
"I'm not allowed to go to any more protests, even if we have a permit. Dad says my friends are a 'bad influence', so they can't even come over. Can you believe it? When he had that Ponzi scheme guy over for dinner last night?"
" 'Hypocrisy' is our father's middle name."
"Anyway, until my trust fund kicks in, I can't afford to leave, but staying here is gonna break me. What am I supposed to do?"
"My advice is to stick it out. Grit your teeth and bear it. It's what I did."
"Liar. You hightailed it out of here as fast as possible."
"Only because I started building my escape pod early. Find your exit strategy and start working toward it."
"You make it sound so easy..."
"That's because it is. You'd be surprised what having a plan of action can do to boost morale."
"Since when are you such a wise old man? Are you learning this stuff from your girlfriend?"
"I thought you called to talk about your problems."
"I did, but then you called me '(Y/N)' when you answered. What's her last name? I wanna look her up!"
As if on cue, my phone pings with an incoming text...from (Y/N).
"Jaehee, I have to go."
"Wait no, I was just teasing—"
"I'll call you later."
I hang up without waiting for her response, then pull up my messages.
(Y/N):
"Hey...you busy?"
JAEMIN:
"I have a few free minutes. You caught me on a light day at the office."
(Y/N):
"I know you asked for time to process but I have BIG news..."
If Sloan went behind my back and talked to (Y/N), there will be hell to play.
(Y/N):
"Guess whose speech just got picked for LH's next campaign rally?! I'm officially a REAL speechwriter!!!"
I let out a long breath before mentally berating myself.
(Y/N) would never hurt me over text. She isn't capable of that kind of cruelty.
I start to type out my congratulations, but pause. Even an asshole like I knows an event like this deserves more fanfare.
(Y/N) should be celebrated...maybe over a private lunch, just the two of us.
My lips curl in a satisfied smile as I start making plans for lunch.
JAEMIN:
"That's fantastic news! And I know just how you're going to celebrate..."
(Y/N):
"By working extra long hours and obsessing over every comma?"
JAEMIN:
"Absolutely not. I'm sending Anderson over to pick you up for lunch."
(Y/N):
"You don't have to do that!"
JAEMIN:
"I want to. If you know what's good for you, you'll get in the car when it arrives."
(Y/N):
"My boss might have something to say about that..."
JAEMIN:
"I AM your boss. You answer to me and me only. Don't ever forget it."
(Y/N):
"In that case... I'll be there."
I finish making the arrangements for lunch before I head out.
Just because I haven't reached a final decision about (Y/N) doesn't mean we can't enjoy ourselves in the meantime...
Soo, I'm seated at a table in the middle of a restaurant at the top of one of Chicago's skyscrapers. At the sound of elevator doors sliding open, I glance over to find (Y/N) stepping out with a bewildered look.
"It's the middle of the lunch rush. Where is everyone?"
I rise to my feet and pull out her chair.
"I reserved the whole restaurant. Big news like yours deserves a big celebration."
"I wasn't expecting all this when I texted you..."
"What were you expecting?"
She flushes happily and stares down at her hands.
"Nothing really. I was just so excited, I wanted to tell you."
My heart gives a lurch. From the way she's acting, I suspect no one has ever celebrated her successes before.
"Your pleasure is my pleasure, (Y/N). Both in and out of the bedroom."
Her mouth falls open in soft surprise. Lifting my hand, I call for the waitress to bring me their best champagne.
"Mr. Na, here's a bottle you requested."
She hands me the champagne and then leaves. I pop the cork out and pour (Y/N) and I a glass.
"A toast to you."
"Jaemin, that bottle is more than my paycheck. It's a little extravagant, don't you think?"
I pour her a glass and offer it to her.
"Nothing is too extravagant for you. One of these days, you'll realize that you're worth everything I've given you...and so much more."
"In that case...thank you."
I wait until she takes a sip of her champagne before bringing my glass to my lips. I'm too busy watching her enjoyment as the expensive wine rolls over her tongue. I already placed the order for both our meals, so I settle into my seat and watch as the sunlight plays on (Y/N)'s hair.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Just enjoy the view."
She flushes a toys with the stem of her glass.
"This is nice of you, but I should only have one glass or I'll be too tipsy to work this afternoon. There's a lot to do still."
"Do you have to work over the long weekend?"
"No, but I'll have a ton of editing to do next week. This is a pretty big step. Now that one of my speeches has been picked up, there's a good chance Mr. Hernandez will ask for more."
"Which of Luis's rallies is the speech for? The family first campaign, or the criminal justice reform one?"
(Y/N) looks surprised at my knowledge, so I offer her a wry smile.
"I have a sister with strong political leanings. She'd kill me if I didn't take an interest in my local elections."
"I...didn't know you had a sister."
I hesitate before responding. I'm usually very careful to keep my family separate from the rest of my life.
"Actually... I have several siblings, including some half-siblings. But I'm closest to Jaehee."
"I had no idea..."
"Everyone comes from somewhere, even me."
"Sorry to interrupt..."
(Y/N) looks as though she'd like to pry deeper into my personal life, so I draw her attention to the plates instead.
"Try the pasta. It's delicious."
As the waitress leaves, I lift a fork to (Y/N)'s lips with an air of command, so she has no choice but to do as I say.
"Since Luis's rally will be at the courthouse, I'm guessing it's the criminal justice speech. Is that a topic you're interested in?"
"Yeah, it's one of the issues that first drew me to his campaign. When he starts talking about the people he's worked with, the lives he's changed... You can just tell, you know? That was really cares, and he genuinely believes he can make a difference."
I nod, watching as she takes another bite.
"It's funny. Until I started working on the campaign, it never occurred to me that you can just believe something into being. But Mr. Hernandez does it all the time. And now I'm starting to do the same..."
"You mean your about your speech getting picked."
(Y/N) flushes, but her gaze meets mine.
"That and...other things. Work helped me want more out of this world, but the confidence to actually do something about it came from you."
"Oh?"
"Maybe you haven't noticed, but I feel like I've been different ever since we started our lessons. Stronger. More outspoken. Hungrier..."
I take another sip of champagne as my mouth goes dry.
"Hungrier, hmm?"
I lower my fork, careful to keep my reactions controlled. (Y/N)'s hunger is nothing compared to my own.
"Then I think we need to send you back to the office with a little confidence boost, don't you?"
"Confidence boost...right now? But the waitress...and the kitchen staff..."
"Then you'd best be discreet. Or use your safe word."
I pause, giving (Y/N) a moment to stop things before they begin...but she just waits for me to make my move. I scoot closer to (Y/N), not stopping until my knees brush hers.
"Jaemin, what're you—?"
I slide my hand under the table and between our bodies, not stopping until my thumb grazes the soft skin inside her knee.
"Oh..."
I coax her legs open, sliding my hand up her thigh...
"The waitress will be back any minute..."
"Then you'd better keep quiet unless you want her to know exactly what I'm doing to you."
She trails off into a low moan as I find her center, teasing her over the lace of her panties. I know exactly when my thumb finds her pleasure point. The waitress drops off another set of plates, but I don't move except to smile lazily.
"Here you go..." the waitress says as she places our foot down.
"Excellent timing. My date was just telling me how hungry she is."
(Y/N) gasps in mingled outrage and desire as the waitress nods and leaves. I lean back in my seat as I taste the food.
"Well, (Y/N)? Feeling confident yet?"
"I'm feeling something, that's for sure."
I lift my fork to her lips. She obligingly accepts the mouthful, pouting as she chews.
"You like it?"
"You know I do..."
It's true. I do know how much she's loving this...how much more I can push.
"I think we can do better. I don't want you to disappoint your boss when you get back to work."
"There's more?"
"I'm in the mood for something sweet, but I forgot to order dessert."
"You mean...?"
"Let me taste you, (Y/N)."
She casts another furtive glance over her shoulder, but with all the staff in the kitchen, it's just the two of us in the dining room.
"...Yes, Jaemin."
I nudge her feet apart underneath the table and watch as her face transforms from surprise to pure, unadulterated pleasure.
"That's right, little lamb. I won't be satisfied until the taste of you is dripping from my lips."
(Y/N) grabs the edge of the table as I slide a hand up her leg. I take my time, my fingers tracing slow, sensual patterns as I go.
"Please, Jaemin. It's too much."
"I haven't even gotten to the good part yet..."
She grips the table harder as I find her hot, wet center. She bucks against my hand as I slip a finger into the intoxicating heat of her. She's slick with desire, her whole body pulling me in.
"Jaemin! "
"You're lucky I only want a taste..."
Sliding my hand back out again, I bring my finger to my lips. I slowly lick, taking my time to get every drop. Just the scent of her is enough to set me off...the taste is almost overwhelming.
"Mmm...delicious."
(Y/N) whimpers, her gaze fixed on me as she watches the slow, methodical movements of my tongue.
"Next time, I'm tasting every inch of you. I won't stop until you're spread out on this table and I'm buried between your legs."
"Oh God... I can't believe I've done this much already."
"I can."
I reach across the table and cover her hand with mine.
"You're capable of a lot more than you give yourself credit for, (Y/N). I've known that from the start."
"Excuse me, I'll just get those plates out of your way. Can I get you any tea or coffee to complete your meal?"
I lift an enquiring brow at (Y/N) but she shakes her head.
"I wish I could, but I need to get back to the office. Thank you for an unforgettable meal, Jaemin."
I lick my lips with slow deliberation.
"The pleasure was all mine."
After lunch, I have a packed schedule...starting with a preliminary settlement meeting with Park Jay's team of lawyers.
I enter the conference room prepared to face a table of over paid, overdressed lawyers only to find...
"Look who's five minutes late. I hope you don't plan to charge my wife for that."
"Jay... That falls under attorney-client privilege. What happens between me and the soon-to-be-ex Mrs. Park is none of your business."
"That's not what I heard..."
"Where's the rest of your team?"
"I fired them. A bunch of fools, the lot of 'em. I'm representing myself now. It's just divorce, not real law. How hard can it be?"
"You'd be surprised how complicated things are when emotions are involved."
"Emotions? Yeah, right. Since when does the infamous Na Jaemin deal in those?"
I steeple my fingers in a move designed to irritate Jay. He tries to hold my gaze, but the sub in him can't help but look away.
"Very well. If you're such an expert on divorce law now, why don't you get started?"
"I didn't care for the position my team was taking in negotiations. I also don't care for your...positions, but we'll talk about that another day."
He glances up at me, a malicious glint in his eye. What (Y/N) ever saw in this asshole is beyond me.
"The first thing I need to realize is that (Y/N) is a liar. She always has been, so don't believe anything she tells you."
"That sounds like a 'you' problem. If you couldn't get your ex-wife to trust you, then that's on you. It has no bearing on this case."
"It will when I tell the judge that everything she says is bullshit."
I struggle to retain my calm. It's obvious Jay is trying to goad me, but I'm not sure why...
"You might be new to divorce law, but this isn't the purpose of this meeting. We're here to begin negotiations on a fair division of assets—"
"What do you know about (Y/N)'s assets? "
The double entendres are starting to seriously irritate me.
"If you have something to say, come out and say it. I can't abide attorneys who are always tiptoeing around the truth."
"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm here to discuss income, furnishings, the new penthouse apartment with a view..."
"You know very well that Ms. Park had no income until after the separation and—"
I sit up, Jay's words sinking in.
How does Jay know about the penthouse? (Y/N) didn't move there until after she lived in a hotel for a couple weeks... I need to buy time to figure out what's going on.
I stand and walk toward the door.
"Since you don't seem prepared to negotiate today, my assistant will be in touch. Until then, see if you can come up with something concrete to bring to these proceedings, will you? You might have all day to sit around doing nothing, but I have actual work to do."
I hold the door for him, giving him no choice but to leave. Once I'm sure he's gone, I call Anderson into the room.
"Get the jet ready. We're leaving town, tonight."
"Where are we going?"
"Anywhere that's not here. Until I can figure out what Jay's up to, I'm getting (Y/N) as far away from him as possible."
I arrange to meet (Y/N) outside of her office at the end of the day. This isn't how I'd have chosen to do things, but one thing is clear...
Pretending like I'm not interested in (Y/N) won't work. I have to be all-in, or take myself out of the game.
"Hey, Jaemin. Sorry if I kept you. Things have been a little hectic around here."
I reach for (Y/N)'s hand and tug her toward me. She gasps in surprise as I wrap my arms around her.
"Everyone from work will be able to see us..."
"Good. Let them."
I give her a moment to pull away, but she leans in instead. I capture her soft lips with mine, sweeping my tongue inside as she opens up to me. (Y/N) blinks at me, a question in the lift of her brow.
"I'm not saying I don't like this new Jaemin, but are you sure you didn't hit your head on the way over?"
I take her hand and hold it in mine. I'm not sure why, but my stomach is fluttering like it's the first day of kindergarten.
"I know we didn't officially talk about this before, but... I want to be with you, (Y/N). As your dom...and everything that comes with that."
"Seriously? For real?"
"Yes, if you'll have me. We'll have to be discreet until your divorce is finalized but—"
(Y/N) cuts me off with an enthusiastic kiss! I let myself indulge for a moment...then pull back.
"If that's you agreeing, then we need to have another lesson about obedience."
"Yes! Sorry! I just...couldn't help myself!"
"You're going to have to start, because we're leaving for Paris in an hour...and I expect complete submission on our trip."